So We Begin
by Renthead621
Summary: Epic Story. I hope you enjoy it. It's about Roger and that's all I can tell you because you're gonna have to see for yourself. It's rated for language and for adult content. Please review. New chapters being added. Just click and enjoy. NOW COMPL
1. Chapter 1

This is it. The epic 50th story. I've had so much fun writing Rent fan fiction. Through the laughter and tears, I've met some amazing people. It's funny, the bond that people form over Rent is incredible. Non Rent fans don't understand why Rent invokes feelings of acceptance, community and mutual respect for people we don't know. We're all writers here and essentially bohemians in our own right. Sure most of us aren't starving for our craft. But isn't it fun to write about those who are and live vicariously through them without being hungry and frozen? I like to write about Roger because he's my favorite character and there is so much potential for him. I mean, there's so much we don't know about him. What brought him to NYC? How he and Mark met? How he came to live in the loft? What happened to him before he got to NY? And after Rent is interesting to think about as well. I mean, when we last see our brooding, handsome rock star, he's telling Mimi he loves her. His fear of commitment, no matter how fleeting is gone. OK, now what? How long does Mimi hold on before she succumbs to AIDS? Does Roger get over her and continue living the way she and Angel taught him, or does he go back into a deep freeze? I love exploring all of it. Before Rent and after. With and without Mimi. I hope you've enjoyed reading my take on all of it. I'm not done yet. Don't worry. My 50th is not my swan song. I just felt it important for me to commemorate the occasion with an epic Roger story. After all, he is my favorite subject. LOL. Please review this and all of my other ones you haven't reviewed yet. I love the feedback and especially for this story. I'm working my butt off on it and I want it to come out believable and really beyond epic. Thank you so much for sticking with me this last nearly 2 years while I indulged my imagination while paying tribute to something that has had such a huge impact on my heart and soul.

Renthead621

**So We Begin**

It was a beautiful day in New York City. The sun was shining and it was balmy 68 degrees. Not bad for the beginning of fall. In a large industrial loft sat 2 young African American gentlemen drinking beer and laughing. The older of the two was telling a story about his experience at NYU. He was a philosophy student and ran into some interesting people. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Who the hell could that be?" the larger of the men asked as he got up from the duct taped couch to answer it.

"Maybe one of your boyfriends, you damn slut." The younger one answered laughing.

"I'm not a slut Benny. I'm fun." He smiled looking back at him before opening the door. As he opened the door there was a young blond kid wearing a leather jacket and holding a guitar case in his left hand with an army duffle bag slung over his right shoulder. It was everything he owned. This kid didn't look like he was old enough to be on his own. "Can I help you?" he asked looking down at the kid.

"Yeah, um… I noticed your flyer in the bar around the corner that you had a couple of extra rooms. I was interested in renting one." he told him looking up at the man.

"Are you old enough to live on your own?" he asked looking down at him.

"Collins, would you stop giving him a hard time. Geez, you would think he was a narc. Come on in. I'm Benny Coffin and this is Tom Collins." Benny smiled getting up from the arm chair.

"I'm Roger. Roger Davis. I'm 19. I just started working at the bar around the corner so I can pay my share of the rent." he smiled looking up at Collins.

"That's cool. Sorry to give you a hard time. You just look young for 19. Benny's 19 and I'm 21. Hence the beers. Do you want to look at the larger room?" he asked looking over at him.

"Um… yeah sure. I've been living with my girlfriend, but we broke up so I'm looking for a place of my own." he said putting his bag down.

"What's with the guitar? Are you a musician or something?" Benny asked looking over at him.

"Or something. I used to play in a band back home and when I dropped out of college, I decided to come to the city and try to make it big. I'm looking for a band right now." he said looking over at him.

"Are you any good?" Benny asked looking over at him.

"I think so. Me and my band won Battle of the Bands all 4 years we were in high school." he boasted looking over at them.

"Pretty impressive. Why don't I show you the room?" Collins smiled looking down at him leading him to the room right next to the door.

"Thanks." he smiled following him to the room.

"Hey, since you work at the bar, does that mean you can get us free drinks?" he asked looking over at him.

"Probably." Roger smiled looking up at him.

"Cool. Did you hear that Benny? We could get free drinks when Roger bartends." Collins called out excitedly.

"Cool." Benny called out sitting back in the arm chair.

"So what do you think?" Collins asked looking down at him.

"I like it. It's better than the Y. I'll take it." he smiled looking up at him.

"Great. You can move in now if you want." he smiled looking down at him.

"Thanks man." Roger smiled becoming more comfortable.

"Well, you're on your own now kid." he smiled looking down at him.

* * *

"OK kid. Just don't load the drinks with liquor and we'll be OK." An older gentleman smiled looking over at Roger on his first night at the bar.

"No problem. Um… let me ask you something. Can I give my roommates drinks every once and a while?" he asked looking over at him.

"As long as it's not the good stuff, I don't see why you can't buy back every other drink. Usually it's 2 drinks and then we give them a free one, but your roommates can have every other one. They have to buy some of their own though." he said looking over.

"OK, got it. Thank you so much. I mean, I only have 2 roommates, so it's not gonna be a whole lot of people drinking for free." he clarified shoving his hands into his pockets.

"OK kid. Get to work. We're gonna need another keg up here soon, so why don't you go down to the storage room and get another one." The older man smiled looking over at him.

"Right, another keg. Got it." he smiled going down to the basement and getting to work.

* * *

One night, about 3 months later, Roger was on his way home from work when he heard voices yelling. When he looked down an alley he saw 2 people struggling over a bag. "Listen kid, either you let go of the bag, or I hurt you." A scruffy man said to a younger kid. The kid didn't look like he was older than 16 and he was clutching a camera bag in his arms.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" Roger asked starting to rush down the alleyway towards them.

"Mind your business kid. This doesn't concern you." The scruffy man yelled looking over at Roger trying to intimidate him.

"It concerns me when you're bullying a defenseless kid. Now get the hell out of here or you're gonna regret coming down here." The man yelled but Roger wouldn't back down.

"You wanna bully someone? Why don't you try bullying me?" Roger smirked stepping closer to the pair.

"This isn't over yet kid. I'm gonna see you around here again and that bag is mine." he growled to the younger kid before rushing off.

"Are you OK?" Roger asked looking down at the scared kid.

"Um… yeah. Thanks. He almost stole my camera. It's all I have other than my clothes." The kid told him looking up. he was still shaken from his encounter.

"Well kid, no offense, but if someone's gonna either take your camera or kill you. I'd give him the camera if I was you." he said looking down at him.

"Well I'm trying to be a filmmaker and I saved for a long time to buy this camera. Without it, I can't be a filmmaker." he explained looking up at him.

"Well, you got balls kid. I'll give you that. I'm Roger." Roger smiled looking down at him.

"Mark. Mark Cohen." He said smiling up at his new friend.

"Do you want me to walk you home or something? I mean, that guy did just threaten you." he asked looking down at him.

"Um… yeah. I live in the dorms at NYU." he said looking over at him.

"NYU? What the hell are you doing all the way down here?" Roger asked curiously.

"Filming. I like to film different things. I was out walking and I ended up here." he said looking over at him.

"Well, why don't you let me walk you back to your dorm so nothing else happens to you." he suggested looking down at him.

"Well, I can't go back to my dorm now. It's past curfew and it's the 3rd time this week. The RA is gonna have me kicked out of the dorms if I get there this late." he said looking up at him.

"Come on. Why don't you stay at my place? We have a spare bed and my roommates are really cool. You can stay there until you can go home in the morning." Roger suggested looking down at the younger man.

"I couldn't impose on you." he said looking up at him.

"And where are you gonna stay if you don't stay with me? You'll be eaten alive out here." Roger asked looking over at him.

"OK Roger. I'll go. Thanks for helping me out like this. I really appreciate it." Mark smiled looking up at him.

"Don't worry about it." Roger smiled as the two young men walked towards the loft.

A/N: Well that was chapter one. I hope you like it. There is more to come, so fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. LOL Enjoy

Renthead621


	2. Chapter 2

"Davis, who's your friend? It's not my birthday." Collins smiled looking up from his book.

"Hands off Collins. I found him in an alley on the way home. He was getting mugged. I had to do something." Roger smiled taking his leather jacket off.

"Well the room over there is empty. The bed's lumpy and really uncomfortable, but it's warm and safe." Collins smiled looking over at him.

"Thanks. I'm Mark. Mark Cohen. I go to NYU." Mark said looking over at him.

"Collins. So do I. What are you taking?" he asked looking over at him.

"Film making. You?" he asked looking over at him taking his jacket and striped scarf off.

"Philosophy. I wanna be a philosophy professor." he smiled looking over at him.

"Cool. Do you know my girlfriend? Her name's Maureen Johnson. She wants to be a teacher too." he asked draping his jacket and scarf over the arm chair before sitting down.

"Long, dark curly hair? Stunning green eyes? A little wacky?" Collins asked putting his book down.

"Yeah, that's her." Mark smiled looking over at him.

"You're the famous Mark? She talks about you all the time. She swears you're gonna be the next Spielberg." he smiled looking over at him.

"Spielberg?" Roger asked holding back laughter.

"Well, I wouldn't say Spielberg. Scorsese maybe, but not Spielberg." he told him seriously as Roger looked at him shocked.

"Scorsese? I think not." Roger told him before going to the refrigerator for a beer.

"What? Scorsese went to NYU too." Mark said looking over at him as Roger opened up a beer bottle taking a swig.

"Yeah but, there's no way any movie you're gonna do is gonna come close to Mean Streets, or Raging Bull or Taxi Driver." he said looking over at him.

"You'll have to excuse Roger. He's a huge Scorsese fan." Collins said looking over at him.

"And DeNiro. He's awesome." Roger added looking over at them.

"And DeNiro. You gotta watch what you say around Roger when it comes to movies. He's a bit of a movie buff." Collins smiled looking over at Mark.

"Mob movies are the best." Roger smiled walking over to the living area to sit down.

"On that note, I'm gonna go to bed. I'm beat. It was nice meeting you Mark. I'll see you around campus." Collins smiled looking over at him.

"Nice to meet you too Collins. Good night." Mark smiled as Collins went to his room.

"So Mark, how would you like to rent the extra room? You won't have to worry about getting back to the dorms on time and I bet life is more exciting here than it is up there." Roger smiled taking another swig from his beer.

"I don't know if my parents would let me. They already paid for my dorm." he said looking over at him.

"Dude, you're not a kid anymore. You can do what you want. You don't need to ask your parents permission to move." Roger smiled looking over at him.

"I know, but I don't know if my parents would like me living in a loft in the East Village with people I just met." Mark stammered looking down.

"One of whom saved your ass tonight. You could have gotten hurt in that alley." Roger smirked before taking another swig of his beer.

"I'll think about it." Mark smiled as they continued to talk until sun rose.

* * *

"Roger, when are you gonna go out with me?" a young girl asked sitting at the bar drinking a martini.

"Missy, I'm trying to concentrate on my music right now. The last thing I need is a girlfriend." he smiled wiping down the bar with a damp rag.

"Who said anything about being your girlfriend? I just wanna play around. It'll help with your music." she smiled seductively at him. He cocked his eyebrow intrigued by her offer.

"I get off at 2." he smiled feeling adventurous. As he continued his work, all he could think about was hanging out with Missy. She was young, probably 18 or 19. She had ID saying that she was 21, but he had encountered a lot of fake ID's working in the bar. She was gorgeous. Long, curly blond hair, blue eyes, she at least had a 34C chest size and she had curves in all the right places. She dressed in a low cut clingy blouse and super tight black jeans with high heeled sandals. Her eyes were lined in black eyeliner which brought out her blue eyes perfectly. They were mesmerizing. When he got off work that night, he and Missy left the bar and went to the loft. No sooner were they in the door when she was all over him. They kissed furiously as they made their way to Roger's room. Soon clothes were strewn all over the floor in Roger's room. They fell onto the bed and began exploring one another's bodies.

"Roger, do you have any condoms?" she asked clearly out of breath.

"Oh, um... yeah." he stuttered reaching into his nightstand for the contraceptive.

"I just like to practice safe sex." she said looking over at him.

"I know. Me too." he smirked looking down at her as they continued to make love.

"I've been watching you, you know? Ever since I started coming into the bar last year." she smiled looking up from his chest at him.

"Oh yeah?" he smiled as he played with her now messed up blond hair.

"Yeah, I mean I've been wondering since then what you would be like in bed." she smiled playing with his chest hair.

"Was it everything you imagined?" he laughed not sure of how he should feel.

"Better. Thanks Roger. You were great, but I gotta get home. My roommate is liable to call the cops if I'm not home when she gets up and report me missing again." she giggled getting up from the bed to get dressed.

"Wait a minute. You can't stay the night? When am I gonna see you again?" he asked looking up at her.

"You're gonna be performing tomorrow night, right?" she smiled slipping into her tight black jeans.

"Uh... yeah I am. You're gonna be there right?" he asked propping himself up on his elbow.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it. I'll see you tomorrow honey." she smiled leaning over him on the bed to kiss him goodbye.

"Bye." he muttered as she rushed out of his room and left the loft. He lay in his bed thinking about his night with Missy. He had never done that before. Slept with a girl who was not his girlfriend first. As he thought about her, he fell asleep. The next morning when he woke up, he put on a pair of sweatpants and one of his worn out heavy metal t-shirts. He heard sounds coming from the kitchen. He was hoping it was Mark making coffee.

"Good morning. How was your night?" Collins asked watching the coffee drip into the stained coffee pot on the counter.

"It was OK. How long until the coffee is ready?" he asked running his fingers through his closely cropped bleached blond hair.

"Soon. I heard an awful lot of noise coming from our room last night. Sounded like it was more than OK. At least, for her anyway. Who was she?" Collins asked curiously.

"Missy from the bar. But it's not like we're dating or anything." he said not looking at him.

"A one night stand, huh? I underestimated you. So how was she?" he asked smiling up at him.

"I've never had a sex with a girl that wasn't my girlfriend first. It was weird. I mean, I like her and she just acted like it was no big deal." he said sitting on the stool across from Collins.

"You're not in high school anymore Roger. Grown ups have casual sex. Did you use a rubber?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, of course. I'm not an idiot. The last thing I need right now is a kid." he said looking up at him.

"Or anything else for that matter." he added getting up from his stool to pour himself and Roger a cup of coffee.

"What do you mean?" Roger asked as Collins handed him his coffee cup.

"STD's. That's a can of worms you don't want to open. Trust me on that." He said looking over at him sadly.

"What are you talking about Collins?" he asked confused.

"I tested positive Roger." he told him sadly.

"Positive of what?" he asked looking up at him.

"HIV. I have HIV." he said sitting back down.

"You have AIDS?" he asked looking over at him sadly.

"No man, it's not AIDS. It's HIV. I'm on AZT, so I'm gonna be OK. At least until I get sick." he reassured him putting his hand on the younger mans.

"How?" Roger asked snatching his hand away before getting up to pace around the loft.

"I'm gay Roger. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how." he answered looking over at him.

"How long?" Roger asked with tears in his eyes.

"There's no way to tell. But it could be a while. I'm not dying yet Roger. I'm not going down without a fight. I'm gonna be OK." he said looking over at him.

"How are you gonna be OK? You're gonna die of AIDS." he asked looking over at him.

"I'm not dying of this Roger. I'm gonna kick it's ass. You'll see. I'm gonna be fine." he said looking over at him.

"I gotta get out of here. I can't deal with this right now." Roger said going towards his room.

"Roger, please don't leave. Not like this." Collins said going after him.

"I can't deal with this Collins. Just let me go. I need to think." he told him as he got dressed.

"Roger, I'm gonna be OK. We have to believe that." Collins told him standing in his doorway as he got dressed.

"How can you stand there and pretend everything is gonna be OK? Nothing is ever gonna be OK again." he asked holding back tears as he tied his boots and rushed past him.

"Roger, wait." Collins called out as Roger left the loft.

"What's with all the yelling about? Allison's trying to sleep." Benny asked coming out of his room.

"I told Roger." he told him going to the couch putting his head in his hands.

"He didn't take it well, did he?" he asked looking over at him.

"To say the least. He needed to go for a walk." he said looking up at him with tears in his eyes.

"You're gonna be OK Collins. We won't let anything happen to you." Benny said sitting next to him on the couch.

"Thanks man. I appreciate that." he said looking over at him.


	3. Chapter 3

"Roger, can I talk to you?" Collins asked approaching Roger as he set up the stage with the rest of his band.

"I can't now. Gotta get ready to play." he told him without looking up.

"Roger man, we need to talk about this." he insisted standing over him.

"Talk about what? That I'm gonna lose my best friend to a friggin disease that has no cure? No thanks, really. I'm gonna be living it soon, so I'd rather not. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a show to do." he growled looking over at him before getting back to setting up with the band.

"He still won't talk to you, huh?" Mark asked standing by the bar holding his camera.

"He'll be OK. He just needs to come to terms with what's going on. When he does he'll be fine." he said sitting on the barstool next to him.

"Yeah well, it looks like he's got a shoulder to cry on." Mark pointed out as Collins looked up at the stage. Roger and Missy were making out in the corner.

"I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid." Benny said leaning over Mark's shoulder.

"He's not an idiot man. He's got a good head on his shoulders. He knows how to be safe." Collins said picking up his beer before drinking it.

"Yeah well, with a girl like that..." Benny started before picking up his beer.

"So, after the show, do you wanna get out of here? Maybe go to your place." Roger asked holding Missy in his arms.

"Um... I think you need to go home tonight honey." she said looking up at him.

"But I wanna be with you tonight. I don't want to go home." he said looking down at her.

"I think you need to talk to Collins, Roger. It looks like he's really upset about the way you guys left things this morning." Missy said looking over at Collins.

"I can't. Not tonight Baby. I just want to be with you tonight." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, we're not a thing, you know? We're just having fun. You do realize that, right?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't want to be alone tonight Baby." he said reaching up to caress her face.

"Roger, we can't do this." she said looking up at him.

"Do what? Missy, I like you and you like me. What's wrong with us hanging out?" he asked looking down at her.

"I can't be tied down right now. I thought you understood that." she said pulling away from him.

"I do Missy, it's just. I don't want to be alone tonight. Not after this morning." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, I need to go. I'm sorry sweetie." she told him before rushing out of the club.

"Missy, wait." he called out starting to go after him when a young man with jet black hair took his arm.

"Rog, we're on." he said looking over at him.

"Right, OK. Thanks man." he said going to the stage. As Roger put his guitar on, he looked into the crowd. He saw Mark and his girlfriend Maureen, Benny and his girlfriend Allison, Maureen's roommate April and Collins. Collins was looking at him sadly. Ever since Roger moved into the loft, he and Collins became best friends. When Roger found out Collins was gay, he was very supportive. He had no idea that lifestyle was gonna kill him. As he played he felt like the world had crumbled around him. His best friend was dying and the first girl in a year, who made him feel anything didn't want to date him. When he finished playing, he took his guitar off and went out the back door for some fresh air. He knelt down and put his head in his hands as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Roger, are you OK?" April asked looking over at him as she smoked her cigarette.

"Oh… um hey April. What are you doing out here?" he asked looking up at her.

"Smoking. Maureen and Mark bitch when I smoke around them." she said moving closer to him.

"Mmmm. Mark's dry eyes." he nodded looking over at her.

"That's some shit. Collins being positive. No one deserves that." she said looking down at him.

"Yeah well, shit happens I guess. I gotta get out of here." he said standing up but losing his balance from standing up too fast.

"Woah, are you OK?" she asked reaching out to catch him.

"Yeah, head rush. Um… I gotta get out of here. I can't stay here." he said looking down at her.

"Come on. Do you wanna go to my place and talk?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I can't go home. Not tonight. I can't deal with Collins right now." he said looking down at her.

"I know. Why don't you get your guitar and we can get out of here." she offered looking up at him.

"Thanks April. I know I haven't exactly been the nicest guy to you and I'm sorry." he said looking down at her.

"I understand. You've been concentrating on your music. I'm not exactly the most social person either. School has been taking precedence over anything else. This if the first night Maureen actually managed to get me out and away from my damn books to see you perform. You're really good." she smiled throwing her cigarette across the alley.

"Thanks. But my heart wasn't in it tonight." he said looking over at her.

"I know. I can't believe it. I mean, it's Collins." she said turning to stand in front of him.

"Yeah well, I don't want to deal with it tonight. If that's OK?" he asked looking down at her.

"OK Roger, you're right. I'm sorry. Let's get out of here." she said turning towards the door to go back into the bar. Roger went to the stage to get his guitar and April went back to the bar to get her pocket book and they left together.

The next morning Roger woke up in a pink and purple room. The bed sheets were pink and purple with butterflies on them and there was a white princess phone on the nightstand with pink and purple nail polish decorating it. When he turned to his left, he noticed red hair strewn across the pillow next to him. The red hair could only have belonged to one person. April. When they got back to her place the night before, she took out a bottle of tequila and they started drinking. He didn't remember much after the 3rd or 4th shot, but he knew they had had sex. He tried to get out of bed without disturbing April, but she began to sir. "Hey Baby. Did you sleep OK?" she smiled rolling over to face him.

"Um… yeah I gotta get home. Collins is liable to send out a search party for me." he said looking down at her as he reached over the side of the bed for his underwear.

"Collins knows you're here. I told him before we left the bar. Why don't you come back to bed?" she asked looking up at him.

"I can't. I really should go home. I need to talk to Collins and straighten things out with him." he said getting dressed.

"Roger, what happened last night wasn't a mistake. I like you and I wanted it to happen." she said sitting up in the bed bringing the bed sheet up to cover her bare breasts.

"April, I really appreciate you being there for me last night, but I just found out that my best friend is dying. I don't think it's the right time for me to get involved with someone." he said sitting on the bed to face her.

"It's the perfect time Roger. Collins is my friend too. You shouldn't have to do it alone. We can deal with this together. Maureen's got Mark, Benny has Allison. You and I are alone Roger. We don't have to be." she said looking over at him.

"I don't know April. There's a lot going on right now and I'm trying to concentrate on my music. A girlfriend will only complicate things." he said leaning over to take her hand. "I'm sorry. I gotta go and talk to Collins. I owe him a huge apology." he said letting go of her hand and getting up.

"I don't regret what happened between us Roger. I hope you don't either." she said looking over at him.

"I don't April. I swear. I like you, but I gotta go. I'll call you later, OK?" he said looking down at her.

"OK Roger. I'd like that." she smiled looking over at him as he left the bedroom.

* * *

"Collins, can we talk?" Roger asked standing in the doorway of Collins bedroom.

"Roger, I'm really sorry…." he started when Roger cut him off.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I've been acting like a dick and I'm sorry. It's just… you're my best friend and I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." he told him holding back tears.

"I know man. I understand. But that won't be for a while." he told him as he crossed the room to hug the younger man.

"But it's no excuse. You're my best friend and you needed me, but I let you down. I'm so sorry." he told him starting to cry.

"You did not let me down. I'm the one who let you down. I got this damn disease and now all of my friends are gonna have to deal with it." he cried holding him in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Collins." he repeated crying into his shoulder. As the two men cried together, Mark and Benny stood in their own doorways listening to them.

"The deep freeze is over." Benny whispered looking over at Mark.

"Yeah, I'm glad Roger's dealing with it now." Mark said looking down before going back into his bedroom. Closing the door behind him.

"Is Roger home?" Maureen asked looking up from the bed.

"Yeah, he just got home. Him and Collins are talking now." he told her getting back into bed.

"I guess him and April had a good time last night." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, whatever she did, she got him to come to his senses and finally talk to Collins about what's going on rather than keep running from it." he smiled laying down next to her as she cuddled up next to him and they fell back to sleep.

"So did you and April have fun last night?" Collins asked wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"Yeah, you can say that." Roger answered not looking up at him.

"What happened?" he asked sitting on his bed.

"I'm not sure exactly. I mean, we went back to her place and she broke out the Cuervo, and I really don't remember much after that, but I woke up and we were both naked in her bed." he said looking over at him.

"So you don't even know if you used anything." he asked concerned.

"No, I don't. What if she's pregnant, man? Or worse? What am I gonna do Collins?" he asked looking up at him.

"Don't jump the gun man. It was only one time. Just be careful next time." he said looking over at him.

"Next time?" he asked looking over at him.

"You guys are dating, aren't you?" he asked sitting back against his pillow which was propped up against the wall.

"Not exactly. I mean, I like her, but last night just sort of happened and I don't even remember what happened exactly because I got really drunk." he said looking up at him.

"Well, I know she likes you. She's liked you for a while." Collins smiled looking over at him.

"I know. I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now. Or ever. I mean, I'm trying to concentrate on my music right now and a girl will only complicate things." he said looking up at him.

"You'll figure it out, man. But just remember, life is too short to just let it pass you by. You should have someone to share it with." he smiled looking over at him.

"I know." he said laying back on the foot of Collins' bed as the two continued to talk.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening, Roger sat on his bed staring at the phone that was sitting on his make shift nightstand. It was a milk case with silver spray paint all over it. He contemplated calling April. He liked her and although he didn't really want a relationship at this point in time, he was still friends with her and she deserved for him to call her when he told her he would. He reached over and picked up the phone. Dialed her number and waited for her to answer. Instead he was greeted with her answering machines outgoing message. "Hi, you've reached April and Maureen, we're not available to take your call at the moment. Leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks." The voice said before a harsh beep pierced his ears.

"Um… April, it's um… it's Roger. I'm just calling to talk to you. Give me a call…" he started when the phone was picked up.

"Roger? Hey, sorry. I was in the shower and didn't hear the phone ring. Is everything OK? Did you get to talk to Collins?" she asked sitting undoubtedly on her bed talking on her princess phone.

"Yeah, um… I did talk to him. We smoothed things over. Thanks for last night. I mean, talking to me, that is... I'm sorry I was kind of a jerk this morning when I left, but I wanted to say thanks. It meant a lot that you were there." he said laying down on his bed.

"Roger, we're friends. That's what friends do for each other. And for the record you weren't a jerk. I understand that your music means a lot to you and you're trying to make it big. You can't exactly do that with a girlfriend in tow. I understand that." she said sitting on the edge of her bed wrapped in a towel.

"I was a jerk. I mean, I like you too and I don't think I was being completely fair when I nixed the idea of us dating. Um… can I come over later and we can talk?" he asked starting to smile.

"Sure. I'd really like that. Maureen and Mark are at the library studying, so we'll have the place to ourselves." she smiled playing with her shoulder length red hair to try to dry it.

"OK. I'll be over in like an hour or something." he said looking down at his watch.

"OK Roger. I'll see you then." she smiled before hanging up the phone to get ready for him to come over. Roger got up from his bed and rushed into the bathroom to shower and fix his hair.

"Woah, where are you headed?" Collins asked sitting on the couch in the living room.

"April's. We're gonna talk." he smirked looking over at him.

"Good for you Roger. She's a nice girl." he smiled looking over at him.

"A little too into pink and purple though." he laughed thinking about April's bedroom.

"Oh? I never knew what her favorite color was." Collins laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, it's pink and purple. You have no idea how weird it was waking up in her bedroom. Pink and purple everything. Right down to her sheets and her telephone. It was cute actually." he laughed looking over at him.

"You're gonna ask her out, aren't you?" Collins asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I think I am. I like her." he smiled looking over at him.

"Good. Go get ready to see your girl. Just tell me all about it tomorrow." he smiled as Roger stood by the bathroom door.

"Tomorrow?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, you are gonna spend the night again, aren't you?" he asked smiling at him.

"Maybe. Thanks Collins." he smiled looking over at him before going in to take a shower.

* * *

When Roger arrived at April's apartment, he nervously knocked on the door. When she answered it, she had a spaghetti strap dress on with leggings underneath them. The leggings were worn out and torn a bit, but when he caught a glimpse of her, he couldn't help himself. He leaned into the apartment and wrapped his arms around her to kiss her.

"Roger." she whispered looking up at him when his lips released hers.

"Will you be my girlfriend April?" he asked looking down into her blue eyes.

"But I thought it wasn't the right time for you? With your music and all." she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"I like you April and life is too short to spend it alone. I wanna be with you." he smiled looking down at her.

"OK. I'll be your girlfriend." she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him again. This time it was long and passionate.

"You look amazing Baby." he smiled looking down at her.

"You don't look to bad yourself. Do you wanna come in?" she laughed noticing that they were still sort of in the hallway.

"Yeah, I do." he smiled leaning down, tightening his hold around her slender waist to pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. As he placed her gently on the bed, he began kissing down her neck and ran her fingers through his short cropped blond hair.

"Roger, do you have protection?" she asked looking down at him.

"Yeah, I do." he smiled as he got up to reach into his pocket for the condoms he had picked up on the way over. "April, can I ask you something?" he asked leaning up onto his elbow laying next to her.

"Sure. Anything Roger. What is it?" she asked looking up at him.

"Did we use… you know, last night?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't know. I think so. I was pretty drunk too. I didn't plan what happened last night." she smiled reaching up to caress his hair. "But I'm glad it did." she smiled leaning over to kiss his nose.

"Me too Baby. For a lot of reasons." he smiled leaning over to kiss her again before they began to make love. The next morning, Roger woke up and April was laying across his chest. She looked so beautiful. He liked her a lot and was glad that he asked her out. He leaned down gently and kissed her forehead before trying to sneak out of bed, but much like the morning before, she woke up.

"Baby, where are you going?" she asked looking up at him.

"I was gonna make you breakfast." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes.

"Aww, That's so sweet. But I was afraid you were gonna leave again like you did yesterday morning." she said looking up at him.

"You're my girlfriend now April. I'm not gonna try to sneak out again. I promise." he smiled taking her face in his hands before kissing her.

"Do we have to get up? I like laying her in your arms." she smiled looking up at him.

"Well, my girl can't enjoy her special breakfast if she doesn't let me up to make it." he smiled looking down at her.

"Good point." she laughed looking up at him.

"You can come out and watch me, if you want." he smiled caressing her face.

"I would love to." she smiled looking up at him excitedly as they got out of bed. Roger put his boxers on and April put her robe on. It was silk and short. It went up to her mid thighs. It was of course pink and purple.

"Why am I not surprised?" he laughed watching her tie her robe together.

"What? You don't like my robe?" she asked looking over at him.

"I love it Baby." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her to him kissing her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Babe, where's my chain?" Roger asked scrambling around April's bedroom getting ready to leave for the bar. They had been dating 6 months and Roger spent more time at April's place than he did in the loft. Maureen had pretty much moved into the loft to be with Mark, leaving Roger and April living together in the apartment.

"It's in my jewelry box." she called out from the bathroom.

"Why is it in your jewelry box next to your girly jewelry? I put it on my nightstand." he complained going through her jewelry box trying to find his chain necklace. It was his good luck charm and he never performed without it.

"Why do you always have to bitch about the stupidest things? I swear you should have been a woman. Just get your stupid chain and stop complaining." she snapped opening the bathroom door and entering the bedroom.

"What the hell is your problem? I was kidding. Are you on your period?" he asked turning around to look at her.

"Why is that always what you think? I can't be pissed because all you do is bitch about the stupidest shit, I have to be on my period?" she asked looking over at him. "For your information, asshole, no I'm not. That's the problem. I'm late for my damn period. Not like you care. You're not the one who could be pregnant." she yelled looking over at him.

"You could be what?" he asked looking over at her stunned.

"I could be pregnant Roger. But don't worry about it, really. You just bitch about your damn chain necklace being next to my girly jewelry." she told him before breaking down.

"Baby, it's OK. If you are, we'll handle it. Together." he told her wrapping his arms around her comfortingly.

"I thought you didn't want a kid right now. You said you wanted to concentrate on your music and everything." she said looking up at him as tears fell from her eyes.

"I didn't want a girlfriend either, but look how great that turned out. April, if you're gonna have my kid, I'm not gonna leave you. I love you." he smiled caressing the tears from her face.

"What if we can't handle it Roger? I don't want to screw our kid up because we're a couple of kids who don't know what we're doing." she said looking up at him.

"We'll handle it April. We love each other and I heard that's one of the most important things kids need. Anything else, we'll learn." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes.

"Do you really think we can do this?" she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"Why don't we get a test and find out for sure first?" he suggested caressing her hair.

"You're right. Ugh, I feel like a nut case. I've been freaking out for 2 weeks hoping it was just late. I've been so afraid to tell you. I wasn't sure what you would say." she said looking up at him.

"April, I love you. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." he said looking down at her.

"I know Baby." she said looking up at him as he held her in his arms.

The next morning, Roger stood outside the bathroom door as April took the pregnancy test on the other side of the door. "How are you doing in there Baby?" he asked anxiously leaning on the door jam.

"I'm done. Now we just gotta wait." she said opening the door coming face to face with him.

"It'll be OK Baby. Whatever it is, we'll handle it together." he said wrapping his arms around her shoulders and holding her close to him.

"What if it's positive? What are we gonna do? I mean, I'm still in school and you're working at the bar and performing. How are we gonna be able to take care of a child Roger?" she asked looking up at him.

"We'll figure it out together. April, I promise." he said leaning down to kiss her head.

"I'm so scared Roger." she said holding him around his waist.

"I know Baby." he whispered holding her tight. "Is it almost time?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, but I can't look. Can you do it? Please?" she asked looking up at him. The look in her eyes was clear. She was terrified of the test stick in the next room.

"Sure Baby. I'll look at it." he said before leaning down to kiss her. "I love you April." he smiled taking her face in his hands.

"I know Roger. I love you too." she answered looking into his green eyes before he left her to check the test results. "What does it say?" she asked standing in the doorway as he picked the test up into his hand.

"It's positive Baby. We're gonna have a baby." he smiled turning to look at her.

"Oh my God." she exclaimed leaning against the doorway before sliding down to the floor brining her knees up to her chest crying.

"Baby, it's gonna be OK. I promise. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. Or our baby." he assured her as he rushed over to her and sat on the floor next to her.

"How can you promise that? Roger, we're just kids ourselves. You're a bartender and you're in a band and I'm in college. How are we gonna take care of another life?" she asked looking up at him.

"We'll do it because it's our child April. It was made by us in love. We're not gonna screw this up. We love each other and we're gonna love our baby too." he smiled looking over at her.

"How are you so calm about this? Roger, we're barely 21 and we just found out we're gonna have a kid." she asked looking up at him.

"Because I love you April. It doesn't matter how old we are. We're gonna be the greatest parents to this kid. You'll see Baby." he smiled leaning over to kiss her.

"I hope you're right. But I'm still scared." she said reaching up to caress his stubbled face.

"So am I April. But I'm gonna be the greatest father this kid could ever have. You'll see. Everything's gonna be OK." he smiled wrapping his arms around her holding her close.

"Somehow I don't doubt that." she said leaning in to him.

* * *

"A kid? April, you can't be serious. You and Roger can't handle a kid. Hell, you can't even handle Roger. He's like a kid himself." Maureen said pacing around April's bedroom.

"He loves me 'Reeny. He wants to be a father to our child. You should hear him. He's so excited." she said looking up from the bed where she was with her legs folded in front of her and holding a pillow to her flat belly.

"Of course he's excited. He's not the one who's gonna be getting up in the middle of the night to feed the kid or change diapers." she said looking down at her.

"Yes he will. He's really excited 'Reen. So am I." she smiled looking down at her belly.

"I hope you two know what you're doing." she said sitting on the foot of the bed.

"We do. 'Reeny, I'm gonna have a baby." she smiled at her.

"I know honey. Congratulations." she smiled leaning over to hug her best friend.

"Congratulations to you too. You're gonna be the baby's godmother. Probably you and Collins if I know Roger." she laughed looking over at her.

"I can't wait sweetie. Are you two gonna get married?" she asked sweeping a stray hair out of April's face.

"I don't know. He didn't ask me, but it doesn't matter. We're gonna have a baby. This little person who's gonna be a mix of me and Roger." she smiled looking over at her.

"I'm happy for you sweetie. I really am." she smiled sitting on the bed with her.

* * *

"April's what? You can't be serious Roger. How did that happen?" Collins asked sitting on the couch in the loft.

"I don't know, but I'm kind of glad it did. I mean, Collins, I'm gonna be a dad. Can you picture that? It's gonna be so cool." he smiled looking over at him.

"No Roger, it's not gonna be cool. It's gonna be a lot of hard work. Babies need love and diapers and food and clothes and shit. How are you and April gonna be able to provide all of that. You're working as a bartender and she's a college student." he said looking over at him.

"I make like tons in tips a night and when I perform, me and the Hungarians make like 400 bucks a gig. We work twice a week, that's 200 bucks from that. Dude, it's gonna be OK." he told him as his smiled faded.

"And when are you gonna have time to perform? You're gonna be a dad. Kids need people to take care of them. You sure as hell can't expect April to do it by herself all the time." he told him getting up from the couch.

"I'm gonna be there for my kid Collins. I'm not gonna abandon him." he said looking up at him.

"Yeah and you expect to be able to continue being a rock star and support a kid. This is gonna fuck up everything you worked so hard for." he told him standing in front of him.

"Collins, you're the first person I wanted to tell about the baby because you're my best friend. Why can't you just be happy for me?" he asked getting up from the couch.

"Because I don't think you really know what you're in for. If I pretended to be happy for you, I wouldn't be much of a best friend, would I?" he asked looking down on him.

"Why would you have to pretend? Collins, I'm gonna have a kid. You're gonna be a godfather." he asked looking up at him.

"I wanna be happy for you Roger, but I just don't think you and April are ready for this." he told him putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"Forget it Collins. I'm sorry I even told you. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." he told him clearly hurt.

"I'm sorry Roger, I just don't think you're thinking clearly right now." he said watching Roger walk away from him.

"Forget it, man. It's cool. I'll call you later." he said looking over at him before leaving the loft.

"Hey Rog." he called out as Roger stopped in his tracks, but didn't turn around. "Congratulations." he said as Roger lowered his head then continued to leave the loft.

* * *

"Can you believe Collins? We know what we're in for. What does he think we are, stupid kids?" he asked sitting on the couch with his arm around April as she laid her head on his chest.

"We can handle it, can't we?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course we can. Baby, we're gonna do it together. Don't worry, we can handle it." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"I hope you're right." she said quietly as they lay on the couch watching tv.


	6. Chapter 6

"OK, Miss Erikson, everything looks good. You're 8 weeks pregnant and it looks like you're due on July 29." The doctor told her as she and Roger smiled at each other.

"But everything's OK? I mean, April and the baby are both fine?" Roger asked looking over at the doctor.

"Yes, Mr. Davis. Both Miss Erikson and the baby are fine. Just take these prenatal vitamins and I'll see you next month." he smiled looking over at Roger.

"Thank you doctor. Thank you so much." he smiled looking over at him as the doctor left the room.

"July 29th? I'm gonna be huge for the summer." April said looking up at Roger.

"I know Baby, I'm sorry. I guess next time we're just gonna have to plan it better." he smiled looking over at her.

"Next time? Roger can I please get this kid into the world before we start planning our next one?" she laughed looking over at him.

"What's wrong with planning our next kid? At least I know what I want and I want to be a family with you." he smiled looking over at her.

"What are you saying Roger?" she asked looking over at him.

"Do you wanna maybe get married?" he asked smiling at her.

"Maybe get married?" she asked looking over at him.

"Get married. I wanna be with you and raise our kids with you April." he smiled looking over at her.

"We don't have to get married for us to do that Roger. I'm not going anywhere and I know you're not either." she smiled looking over at him.

"I wanna marry you April. I want to be there for you and our kid." he said taking her face in his hand.

"Can I think about it Roger? Please?" she asked looking over at him.

"Sure Baby. I love you." he smiled leaning in to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled hugging him.

* * *

"How stupid could they be? A kid. Neither one of them is ready to be tied down to a kid. What the hell are they thinking?" Benny asked as he, Allison, Mark, Maureen and Collins sat in the loft talking.

"You should have seen Roger. I swear, I've never seen him more excited about anything in my life." Collins said sitting back on the couch with his feet up on the makeshift coffee table. A big wooden spindle.

"Roger's in a damn fantasy world if he thinks he and April are not gonna fuck this kid up. I mean, can you picture it? April's gonna be a college drop out and Roger's a bartender and a wannabe rock star. Which he'll have to quit to get another job to support this kid and April." he ranted as he paced around the living room and everyone sat quietly. Mainly because they knew he had a point.

"Benny, I understand where you're coming from, but they're our friends and we should support their decision. And they've decided to become parents. Who are we to question that? It's their life." Allison said looking up at him.

"Because Roger and April are stupid kids if they think they're gonna be able to live happily ever after." he yelled looking down at her.

"Don't yell at her because you're frustrated. If you want to yell at anyone, yell at Roger and April. If not, then sit down and shut up." Maureen yelled getting up from the couch and stomping into hers and Mark's room.

"What the hell is her problem? April's her best friend. You would think she'd have a little more to say about this." he asked looking over at the door.

"I'll go talk to her." Allison said getting up from the couch.

"Benny, she's right. If you want to yell at anyone, try yelling at Roger and April. But it's not like they'll listen. I tried talking to Roger, but now he's pissed at me." Collins said getting up and leaving the loft.

"I don't get this. I thought Roger was smarter than this. Getting a girl knocked up? Where the hell is his head?" he asked looking down at Mark, who was the only one who remained.

"'Reen, can I come in sweetie?" Allison asked entering the bedroom.

"I'm sorry I yelled at Benny, he just gets me so mad when he talks to you like that, when he should be yelling at someone else." she said looking up from her lap as she sat on the bed with her legs folded in front of her.

"It's OK. He was being a jerk. He deserved it. Thanks for coming to my rescue." she smiled sitting next to her on the bed.

"I didn't mean to make it seem like you can't take care of yourself. It's just, I needed him to stop talking." Maureen said looking up at her.

"I understand. Especially since it's your best friend who's gonna have a baby." she said looking at Maureen who was looking down at her lap again.

"I'm scared for her Allie. I mean, what if something happens to her. Like what happened to my mom." she said looking up with tears in her eyes.

"Not all women die in child birth Maureen." she said putting her hand on Maureen's shoulder.

"I know, but look at her Allie. She's so little, like my mom was. What if she starts to hemorrhage after she has the baby? Roger can't take care of this baby on his own. No matter how much he wants to." She asked looking over at her.

"And you're afraid you're gonna lose your best friend. It's OK to admit it Maureen." she said looking over at her.

"I am afraid of losing her. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her." she cried as Allison put her arms around her to comfort her.

"We'll just have to pray that she's gonna be OK." she told her rocking her back and forth as she continued to cry.

"OK." she cried holding on to her tight.

* * *

"What do you think of the name Erik if it's a boy?" Roger asked looking down at her as he laid his head on April's flat belly.

"Erik? I was thinking Roger if it's a boy?" she smiled looking down at him as she played with his hair.

"Well I was thinking Erik after his mom." he smiled looking up at her.

"Erik Davis, huh?" she smiled looking down into his green eyes.

"Yeah." he smiled looking up at her.

"OK. I like it." she smiled as he leaned up to kiss her. "And what about if it's a girl?" she asked as she caressed his face.

"Erika." he smiled leaning in to kiss her nose.

"Of course." she laughed looking into his eyes.

"Hey Erik or Erika." he smiled leaning down to talk to her belly. "I'm your daddy." he continued as he kissed her belly.

"You're gonna be a great daddy Roger." she smiled tilting her head to the side as she watched him caress her belly.

"I'm gonna be the best dad in the world. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you or our baby." he smiled looking up at her.

"I know you won't Roger." she smiled playing with his hair again as he directed his attention back to her belly.


	7. Chapter 7

"April, come on. I gotta get ready." Roger asked knocking on the bathroom door.

"Gimme a minute, dammit. I'm kind of throwing up my guts here." April yelled kneeling in front of the toilet.

"I'm sorry Baby, but I gotta get ready. I have a show tonight." he answered standing outside the door.

"Nice to be sympathetic Roger. I swear you can be so self centered sometimes." she yelled as she opened the door.

"Yeah well, I'm making 100 dollars tonight. We need the money for the doctor and to get the things that baby's need. To get that, I have to go." he told her going into the bathroom and starting the shower.

"Yeah well, this isn't fun for me. I'm throwing up everything I'm eating and sometimes things I'm not. This morning sickness sucks." she complained leaning against the wall.

"I'm sorry April. I know this is hard on you, but I gotta work to pay for stuff Baby. I don't want our baby not to have everything he needs." he told her walking towards her.

"He, huh?" she smiled looking down at her tiny belly.

"Just a hunch, but I'll be happy no matter what we have. I just want to be able to give our baby everything in the world." he told her quietly reaching down to take her hand in his.

"I know. I'm sorry I keep snapping at you. My hormones are making me crazy. I know I'm hard to live with these days." she said standing up straighter.

"It's OK Baby. I hear I have 6 more months of this." he laughed looking down into her blue eyes.

"Oh God, I hope not." she laughed looking up at him.

"Come on Baby. Get ready. I want you to come to see me play. I wrote a song for you and the baby." he smiled lifting his hand up to her face.

"You wrote me and the baby a song?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah I did. I write from the heart, right? You guys are in my heart." he smiled kissing her head.

"Don't take too long in the shower, OK? I have to get ready to hear the song my baby's father wrote for us." she smiled looking up at him before leaving the bathroom so Roger could go in the shower.

"OK Baby." he smiled as she closed the bathroom door.

* * *

"April, what are you doing here?" Mark asked looking down at April as she walked into the bar.

"Um... my boyfriend plays here." she laughed looking up at him as she took her jacket off.

"You know what I mean. You're pregnant and your starting to show. Should you be out in a bar?" he said as Maureen approached them.

"Thanks for the tip Marky. I'll be fine." she laughed looking down at her belly as Maureen hugged her.

"April, you're here?" she smiled hugging her tight.

"Yeah, I'm here 'Reeny. You look great. Is that my top?" she laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, I borrowed it. It's not like you can wear it anytime soon." she smiled reaching down to caress her little belly.

"Gee thanks." she smiled looking up at her.

"Sorry sweetie. So what are you doing here?" she asked looking down at her.

"Roger said he wrote me and the baby a song, and he wanted me to hear it." she smiled looking up at Roger as she watched him set up the equiptment with the other Well Hungarians.

"That's sweet. I'm sure it's a beautiful song." Maureen smiled looking over at her.

"I know it is. Roger wrote it for us." she smiled caressing her little belly as they took their seats. As the Well Hungarians started their first set, Roger smiled at April the whole time. She was watching him and laughing as Maureen leaned over every once in a while to tell her something in her ear. The way her head went flipped back as she laughed made Roger smile even more. He loved the way April was so full of life. And now she had the life of his child growing inside of her.

"I'll be right back.." Maureen told her getting up and rushing to the front of the bar.

"Where's Benny, Collins and Allie?" April asked leaning over to Mark.

"Collins has an early class tomorrow and Benny and Allie have been spending a lot of time at her apartment lately." he answered yelling over the crowd so she could hear him.

"They don't approve of me and Roger having this baby, do they?" she asked looking over at him. Her smile fading.

"They'll come around. They're just worried about you guys." he said lowering his camera.

"There's nothing to worry about Marky. We love each other and we're gonna love the baby too. I just hate that Roger's losing his friends over something that should be celebrated." she said looking up at Roger again.

"Don't worry April. Everything is gonna be OK. You'll see." Mark smiled as Roger finished his first set.

"We're gonna take a short break, but we'll be back in 15." he smiled taking his guitar off and putting it on the stand behind him before getting off of the stage. "How did we sound Baby?" he asked wrapping his arms around April.

"Amazing Baby. As usual." she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"I'll be right back Baby." he smiled as he saw someone at the front door.

"OK Baby." she smiled kissing him again before watching him make his way to the front of the bar. When she saw Collins standing there she smiled. "Collins is here." she smiled looking up at Mark.

"I'm glad you could come?" Roger asked looking up at Collins.

"Can we talk outside?" Collins asked looking down at the younger man.

"Sure." he smiled as they went outside.

"Roger listen, I feel like shit. The way I've been acting this past month was stupid." he said looking down at him.

"I understand why? I mean, yeah, me and April are barely 21 and here we are having a kid. But it's a good thing Collins. I mean, I love April and she loves me. We're gonna love this baby so much. I'm pulling doubles at the bar and I've been performing a lot so I'll be able to afford to give this baby everything it deserves." he said looking up at him.

"I know Roger. But this baby is gonna have the greatest thing in the world. Two parents who love him." he smiled looking down at him.

"He is, man. I mean, this kid isn't even born yet and I love it more than I've ever loved anything in the is world. I wrote him and April a song." he smiled looking up at him.

"That's great Roger. You're gonna be a great dad." he smiled putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"I'm gonna try my best. I just want you to be in my kid's life." he smiled as Collins pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry man." he said holding him tight.

"Forget it man. You're here now. Do you wanna go inside? April's in there." he asked looking up at him.

"Sure man. I'd really like that." he smiled as he let him go and they went inside.

"Hi Collins. I'm glad you came." April smiled looking up at him.

"Look at you, girl. You got a little Davis growing inside you." he laughed looking down at April's little belly.

"Looks like." she laughed looking down at her belly as Roger wrapped one arm around her back and put his hand on her belly.

"You look ravishing Babygirl." he smiled looking down at her.

"Thanks Collins." she smiled looking up at Roger.

"I gotta go Baby, I'm on. I love you." Roger smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled watching him go back to the stage and start playing.

"Babygirl, I'm sorry I've been such a jerk lately. You guys are having a baby and I should have been happy for you from the beginning." Collins apologized before the music started.

"That's OK sweetie. You're here now." she smiled putting her arm around his waist.

"Yeah I am." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head as they directed their attention to Roger.

* * *

"It was great to see Collins tonight, huh?" she asked looking up at him as they walked home.

"Yeah, I'm really glad he came." he smiled looking down at her.

"And I loved the song you wrote for me and the baby. It's beautiful." she smiled holding his hand tight.

"I'm glad Baby. I love you April." he smiled looking down at her.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled as they approached their apartment building.

"I wanna start looking at cribs and stuff for the baby. Oh, and cleaning out Maureen's room. I don't think the baby is gonna appreciate having punk rock posters all over his bedroom walls." she laughed looking up at him.

"Oh come on, you don't know that he won't like Johnny Rotten." he laughed as they began climbing the stairs to their apartment.

"No way. I want the baby to like rock. Like his daddy." she smiled leaning up to kiss him as they stood outside the door.

"OK. I'll help you tomorrow. But I don't want you to go through her room by yourself. You need to take it easy." he smiled as he opened the door to the apartment.

"I'll be fine Roger. I won't do any heavy lifting. I promise." she smiled taking her coat off.


	8. Chapter 8

"April, are you here?" Roger called out as he entered the apartment. He didn't get an answer, but there was a message on the answering machine, so he pressed the button.

"Roger, it's... um, it's Maureen. You better get to the hospital. It's... it's April. Just hurry, OK?" Maureen said as Roger stood there paralyzed. Maureen sounded nasal from crying. He rushed out of the apartment, going to the hospital as instructed. When he arrived at the hospital, Collins and Mark were standing outside the emergency room.

"What happened? Where's April?" he asked out of breath.

"Inside. Maureen's in with her." Collins said not looking at him.

"What happened?" he asked looking up at him as tears stung his eyes.

"She was cleaning out Maureen's room and she started feeling funny, so she called Maureen. By the time Maureen got there... she was in the bathroom... she was bleeding pretty bad and her stomach was cramping. She... she lost the baby Rog. I'm so sorry." Mark stuttered looking up at him.

"No. No, she couldn't have." he insisted as tears fell from his eyes.

"I'm sorry Rog." Collins cried grabbing Roger's leather jacket, pulling him to him.

"How?" he asked crying into Collins chest.

"I don't know man. Why don't you go in there? She's been asking for you." he suggested regaining his composure.

"I can't let her see me like this." he said pulling back to wipe his face with his hands.

"Why don't you go wash your face man? We'll cover for you." Collins suggested looking over at him.

"Thanks man." he said going into the hospital and heading straight to the restrooms. He stood at the sink staring at himself in the mirror. When he woke up, he was gonna be a father. Not he wasn't. He wanted to punch that stupid kid in the mirror. He had so many plans with April. They were gonna have their baby, get married and live happily ever after. How could he be so stupid to think that he would be able to have a normal life? He'd never had a normal life. His parents split up when he was young and he lived with his mother until she got remarried. His step father hated him, so he went to live with his grandmother. She loved him and even sent him to college. But he dropped out because he wanted to be a rock star. He started playing guitar when he was 12, to escape the world. The music became like a safe haven for him. He washed his face and felt ready to go in to April.

"Are you OK Rog?" Collins asked as Roger exited the bathroom.

"Yeah, I'm OK. Thanks man." he said looking up at him before continuing back to the exam rooms. When he got to April's room, she was sleeping. Maureen was sitting in the chair next to her bed. "Maureen." he called out quietly as he stood in the doorway.

"Roger." she whispered getting up from the chair, rushing out into the hallway.

"What happened?" he asked quietly staring at April in the bed.

"I'm so sorry Roger. She lost the baby. She said she was going through my closet and her stomach started bothering her. By the time I got there, she was in the bathroom miscarrying." she cried as he pulled her to him.

"Is she OK? I mean... physically?" he asked looking into the room.

"Yeah, the doctor said she needs to recover, but you guys can try again if you want." she told him wiping her eyes.

"I told her not to do it without me. How did this happen?" he asked leaning against the wall outside April's room.

"They don't know. All the doctor would say was, sometimes these things happen." she said looking up at him.

"I should have been there. Had I helped her like I said I was instead of trying to get more gigs, I could have..." he started when she interrupted him.

"No Roger. There was nothing you could have done. She was just going through stuff. She swore to me that she wasn't picking anything up." she insisted looking up at him.

"But I promised that I would protect them and I fucked up. I wasn't there when they needed me." he said looking over at her wiping the tears from his face.

"You couldn't protect them Roger. You can't control everything that goes on. Especially inside a woman's body. You can't blame yourself." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, I should have." he told her as he went into April's room.

"Roger?" April called out quietly opening her eyes.

"Yeah Baby. I'm here." He whispered taking her hand and kissing it.

"I lost the baby Roger. I'm sorry." She cried looking over at him.

"Shh, April it's not your fault. You should rest." He said leaning his elbows on the bed to caress her head.

"I don't know what happened Roger. I was sitting on the floor putting clothes in a box in Maureen's room and then all of a sudden I was feeling pain in my stomach and then blood. I swear I wasn't picking anything up." She cried looking over at him.

"It's OK Baby. I know. Everything is gonna be OK." He said leaning over to kiss her head. He didn't believe himself for a minute, but he wanted to make everything OK for April's sake. He waited until she fell back to sleep to go outside. He walked right through the waiting room and went outside without saying a word to anyone.

"Roger, is she OK? What happened?" Maureen asked rushing after him.

"She's asleep now. I should be able to take her home later." He said looking through his pockets. He quit smoking when he found out that April was pregnant because he knew it wasn't good for the baby, but right now he needed one.

"What are you doing?" Collins asked standing behind Maureen.

"Looking for a cigarette. I fucking need one." He told him still searching the pockets.

"I gotcha covered man." Collins told him taking one out of his pocket.

"Roger, you quit months ago. Why would you start up now?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"My girlfriend just lost my kid Mark. Can you just give me a break, please?" he yelled taking the cigarette and lighter from Collins.

"Sorry Rog." Mark said looking over at him.

"Did she say anything to you?" Maureen asked looking over at him.

"She said she was sorry Maureen, OK? Not that it's her fault. It's mine. I never should have left her to do that shit alone. But I was too damn busy trying to get more gigs." He said taking drags off of the cigarette.

"It's no one's fault Roger. The doctor said sometimes these things happen." Maureen said putting her hand on Roger's arm.

"Yeah well, it sucks." He said throwing the cigarette out to go back in to April.

"I can't believe this happened to them. They were so excited. Even Roger." Collins said looking down at Maureen.

"Yeah, color me surprised. I figured he would have freaked out when he found out, but when April told me how excited he was…I was shocked." She told him fighting back tears.

"They're not gonna have to go through this alone Maureen. We're gonna help them." Mark said putting his arm around her waist.

"I know, but if I know April, she's gonna hide out in the apartment with Roger for a while before she lets anyone help her." Maureen said holding on to him.

"It'll be OK Maureen. We won't let them shut down." Collins said looking down at her as they all stared at the hospital.

"I can't imagine what they're going through right now." she cried looking up at him.

"They'll get past this Maureen. It's gonna be hard, but they will." Mark told her holding her in his arms.

A/N: Sorry so short. I wanted to jump ahead to the aftermath and how Roger and April dealt with the loss of their baby. I hope you're enjoying it so far. I look forward to all the reviews. This story is far from over. There's still more Rent drama to come.

Renthead621


	9. Chapter 9

_2 Months Later_

It had been 2 months since they lost their baby, but Roger and April remained together. April had been trying to stay positive for Roger's sake and Roger was doing the same for April. They didn't deal with it, but they weren't letting it get them down. April had been spending a lot of time at school and Roger was spending a lot of time trying to find more gigs to make more money. He wanted to save up to get April an engagement ring. He had 800. dollars so far, but he needed a lot more. He didn't want to get her a crappy ring. The one he had in mind for her was heart shaped and beautiful. It was also 3000. dollars.

They hadn't seen Maureen, Mark, Collins, Benny or Allison for quite some time. Maureen would call and leave messages, but April wouldn't return the phone calls. She threw herself into her school work. April was usually gone in the morning when Roger got up and by the time he got home from work, she was sound asleep. They'd meet up at the bar every once in a while and their relationship seemed to be surviving the loss. Roger had off from the bar and didn't have a gig, so he wanted to spend the night with April. Just the two of them. He took the candles out of the bathroom, where April liked to keep them when she took long, relaxing baths and scattered them around the bedroom. They didn't have much food in the house, so he ordered Italian dinners for the two of them from the pizzeria around the corner and put them in the oven to keep them warm. He lit the two taper candles that were on the small breakfast table in the corner of the living room and opened up a bottle of white zinfandel. April's favorite wine. He sat on the couch and just waited for her to get home. He knew she usually got home around 6:30 from the library, so he only had 10 minutes to wait. As he waited, Roger kept his eyes glued to the VCR clock. He watched the time pass. It was 10:30 when April finally walked through the door. The candles had long since burned out and the wine was warm.

"April, where were you? I've been waiting for hours for you." he asked getting up quickly from the couch.

"Roger. What are you doing home?" she slurred surprised to see he was home.

"Answer me April. Where were you?" he asked looking down at her.

"I um… I didn't know you were gonna be home so went out with a couple of girls from class." she slurred looking up at him. She could barely keep her eyes open.

"Are you drunk?" he asked looking down at her.

"No, I'm not drunk. I may be a little stoned though." she told him stumbling further into the apartment.

"Stoned? On what?" he asked watching her try to keep her balance.

"A little heroin. I only did a little bit, but this is some good shit." she told him plopping down onto the couch.

"Heroin? You shot heroin? April, what the hell is going on with you? You don't do heroin." he asked looking down at her.

"Like you care. You've barely paid any attention to me these last couple of months." She slurred lying down on the couch.

"April, how long has this been going on?" he asked looking over at her.

"A month or so." she told him trying to go to sleep.

"A month? April, you've been shooting heroin for a month? What are you thinking?" he asked looking down at her.

"I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to think about anything Roger. Just leave me alone." she yelled trying to get comfortable on the couch.

"April, talk to me. What would make you do heroin?" he asked sitting on the coffee table.

"I don't know. I just needed an escape." she told him with her eyes closed.

"An escape from what, Baby? Is our life that hard on you?" he asked leaning in closer to her.

"Everything Roger." she whispered before falling asleep on the couch. He got up from the coffee table and covered her with a blanket. The next morning she stood in the doorway of the bedroom staring at Roger. He was holding her pillow in his arms and he was covered only as far as his waist. She could see his naked chest, back and arms. She folded her arms across her chest and smiled at him. She lost track of how long she was watching him, but before long he began to stir.

"Baby, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be at school by now?" he asked as he opened his eyes and saw her staring at him.

"I'm playing hookey today." she told him walking towards him. "Roger, about what happened last night…" she started as she sat down on the bed.

"Baby, I understand why you did what you did, but I wish you would talk to me instead of turnng to that stuff to try to escape from everything." he said sitting up in the bed.

"I know. I'm sorry Roger. I shouldn't have done that. I've just been feeling really lost lately and I wanted to feel better. Even if it was only for a little while, I was willing to try anything. Roger, ever since we lost the baby, we haven't been us. I miss us. I miss when we used to be carefree." she said looking over at him.

"I do too baby, but you have to talk to me. You don't have to go through it by yourself. I lost the baby too." he said moving closer to her.

"I've been feeling so lost since we lost him. Everything reminds me of him." she cried looking over at him.

"Him?" he asked looking over at her.

"The doctor told me that he was a boy. I wanted to know." she cried as he took her into his arms.

"How come you never told me Baby?" he asked holding her as she cried into his bare chest.

"I didn't want to hurt you." she cried holding him tighter.

"You don't need to protect me April. It's my job to protect you. You shouldn't have had to keep that inside these last 2 months." he told her kissing the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry Roger. For everything. Shooting the heroin was a huge mistake. I won't do it again. I promise." she said looking up at him.

"I love you April. There's nothing I won't do for you. If you need me, I don't care what I'm doing. I'll drop it to take care of you." he promised taking her wet face into his hands.

"I know Roger. I'm sorry." she said looking into his green eyes.

"It's OK Baby. I'm not going anywhere." he whispered leaning in to kiss her soft lips before holding her to him again.

* * *

"Roger, can we go over to the loft today?" April asked lying in Roger's arms.

"I think Maureen would really like that." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I miss hanging out with everyone. I've been so busy trying to move on, I forgot about my friends." she said looking up at him.

"I know Baby. But they understand." he told her caressing her bare back.

"I'm sorry for everything Roger. The last thing I ever wanted to do was push you away." she said leaning up onto her elbow.

"April, we lost our baby. There's no right way to handle it. I've been pushing you away too in a way. I've been trying so hard to get more gigs so I could save up money, I haven't been there for you as much I should have. I'm sorry for that." he said caressing her face.

"What are you saving money for?" she asked looking into his green eyes.

"Something for my girl." he smiled being vague.

"Roger, what did you do?" she asked smiling at him.

"Nothing. I just want to get my girl something really special. And what I want to get you costs money." he told her as he played with her shoulder length red hair.

"Roger, you don't have to get me anything. As long as I have you, I have everything I could ever want." she smiled leaning up to kiss him. He pulled her on top of him and they kissed more passionately and they began to make love again.


	10. Chapter 10

"April, where the hell were you tonight? You were supposed to meet me at the bar and we were gonna go out for a late dinner?" Roger asked as April stumbled into the apartment.

"Sorry Baby. Me and Denise were hanging out. We lost track of time." she slurred looking up at him as he rushed to the door to catch her.

"You were doing that shit again, weren't you? April, I thought we talked about that." he asked picking her up to carry her to the couch.

"I'm sorry Roger. I couldn't help myself." she cried inaudibly holding on to him tight.

"It's OK Baby, go to sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow." he whispered as he put her down on the couch.

"I love you Erik." she slurred getting comfortable on the couch.

"Erik loves you too Baby." he whispered kissing her head before going into the bedroom. The next morning, he got up and made coffee. April was still passed out on the couch. As he waited for the coffee to be done, he stared over at April. He couldn't stop thinking about what April said before she went to sleep. He knew that her using had to do with her thinking about the baby. But he didn't know how to help her. He went back into the kitchen to pour a couple of cups of coffee before he woke up April. "April Baby. It's time to get up." he said sitting on the coffee table.

"What time is it?" she asked opening her eyes slowly.

"7:30. Baby, we have to talk." he said handing her her cup of coffee.

"What do you mean?" she asked playing stupid.

"April, I know you got high last night. We need to talk about it." he said as she sat up on the couch.

"I was just hanging out with Denise and she had some left over from the other night..." she said looking up at him.

"I thought you weren't gonna do that anymore. I thought we talked about this and decided that you weren't gonna try to escape anymore." he asked looking down at her.

"I was, but I was walking through the park and I saw all the mother's with their babies and I got to thinking about Erik and... I don't know. I couldn't help it. When I'm doing that, I don't miss him so much." she said leaning over to put her coffee on the coffee table.

"Baby, you can't keep doing this. You're hurting yourself." he said leaning over to her.

"I know, but Roger it's like nothing I ever experienced. I mean, I'm not in pain when I'm high." she said as he got up from the table.

"Is living here in the real world with me so painful?" he asked looking down at her.

"Roger, I'm just saying, it's not that bad. You should try it. You'll see what I mean." she said swinging her legs over the side of the couch.

"Is that what you want? Both of us being junkies?" he yelled looking over at her.

"Not junkies Roger. Just try it once. If you don't like it, you don't have to do it again. And I won't do it again either. I swear." she said looking up at him.

"I can't believe you're actually suggesting this." he told her as he paced around the living room.

"I'm only asking you to try it once. Who's it gonna hurt?" she asked looking up at him.

"There are so many people it could hurt April. Us for starters." he told her running his fingers through his hair.

"Only if we let it. Roger, you don't have to do it again if you don't want to." she said going over to him.

"I don't know April. I just don't know anymore." he told her as he opened the door and left the apartment. She rolled up her sleeve and stared down at the track marks she had on her lower arm. As she ran her fingers over them, she pulled her sleeve back down and went into the shower.

* * *

"Roger's gonna do it with you?" Denise asked looking over at April as they sat in Denise's living room drinking beer.

"He's thinking about it. I don't know if I want him though." she said putting her beer down at her lap.

"Why not? I thought you wanted him to feel as good as you do?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah but, I don't want it to change who he is." she said looking up at her.

"April, it hasn't changed you, right?" she asked reaching over to prepare the needle.

"I guess not." she said picking up the beer before wrapping her belt around her upper arm to get ready to take the shot. As she slid the needle into her vein, images of Roger playing with a little boy in the park flashed through her mind. She had been thinking about that a lot lately. The boy looked like Roger and was laughing as Roger picked him up in the air and spun him around. She was glad when the drug took affect. The image disappeared into a wonderful fog. "It's OK Erik. Daddy's got you." she slurred as Denise looked over at her.

"It's OK April. Let it go honey." she said playing with her hair as April tilted her head back against the back of the couch enjoying her haze.

* * *

April stood outside the bar, staring into the window. She watched Roger serve drinks and wipe down the counter. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she held the baggie of heroin in her right hand. She bought it to share with Roger. She let go of the baggie and zippered her right pocket before opening the door to enter the bar.

"Hey Baby." he said looking up as he watched April saunter into the bar.

"Hey Baby. Can we um... can we talk? In private?" she asked leaning over the bar.

"Um... sure. Is everything OK?" he asked curious.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just have something I want to show you." she said backing away from the bar as Roger came around the bar going to her. "Can we go out back?" she asked looking up at him.

"Sure. I'll be right back. Can you cover for me?" he asked looking over at the other bartender.

"Yeah Rog. Sure." he smiled looking over at him as Roger and April went out the back door.

"What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Now, don't be mad at me, OK? I just got something for us." she said unzipping her pocket to take the baggie of heroin out.

"What the hell are you doing? I never said I would do that with you." he asked taking the baggie from her and shoving it in his pocket so no one would see it.

"I know you didn't say you would, but I just thought..." she started when he interrupted her.

"You thought that if you already had it, I couldn't say no, is that it?" he asked looking down at her.

"Sort of... yeah." she said looking up at him.

"I can't believe you April. I'm at work." he told her angrily.

"I just thought we could do it when you got off work. We could do it together." she said looking up at him.

"I can't deal with this right now. Go home April. I'll be there when I get off work." he said looking down at her.

"What about...?" she started when he interrupted her again.

"I'm holding on to this. I don't want you to get wasted before I get a chance to talk to you." he said looking down at her.

"Fair enough. I'll see you at home." she said leaning in to kiss him, but he turned his back to go back inside. He was angry at her for buying the smack without asking him. She knew he needed time to think about her proposition.


	11. Chapter 11

April sat on the couch looking through pictures that had just came in the mail. She and Roger had been taking pictures to document her pregnancy. She found a bunch of rolls of film in a night table drawer a couple of weeks earlier. She knew there were pictures of Roger performing that she took, so she sent them in to be developed. But one of the rolls were of just Roger and April. She was crying as she flipped through the pictures. Roger had entered the apartment without April even realizing it. "April, what happened?" he asked rushing over to the couch.

"These came in the mail today. I thought they were of you performing, but these were in there too." she told him as he took the picture that was on top out of her hand. It was of April and Roger. Roger was standing behind her holding her shirt up to expose her 3 months pregnant belly smiling as April leaned her head against his chest. Maureen had taken it.

"I remember this day. You had just started showing and I was so excited. It was the first time I really realized that my kid was growing inside you." he said looking down at it.

"And now he's not." she cried looking over at him as he continued to stare at the picture.

"One could be again, you know?" he said putting the picture down before turning towards her.

"No. I don't want to be pregnant again. Never again." she cried dropping the pile of pictures onto the table before getting up from the couch.

"Baby, the doctor said we could try again when we're ready." he said looking up at her.

"Well, I'm not ready. I'm not sure if I ever will be." she cried looking down at him.

"April, I want to marry you and have a family with you." he said getting up to go to her.

"I don't want to get pregnant again Roger. I don't want to risk losing another baby. I couldn't handle it." she cried as he brought her into his arms.

"It's gonna be OK April." he whispered holding her in his arms.

"How do you know that Roger? You promised everything was gonna be OK before, but it wasn't, was it?" she yelled shoving him away from her and running into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"April. April, I'm sorry." he called out trying to open the door, but it was locked. "April, open the door." he yelled knocking on the door.

"Go away Roger." she yelled as she cried on the bed.

"April Baby, open the door and talk to me." he said leaning against the door frame.

"Roger, you always promise that you're gonna take care of everything, but there are some things that not even the great Roger Davis can control." she yelled at him as she opened the door.

"I'm not trying to control everything Baby. I'm just want to protect you. Why is that so bad?" he asked looking down at her.

"Because you can't protect me from everything. You couldn't protect me from losing the baby or how much it hurts." she cried walking back to the bed.

"Don't you think I know that April? How do you think that makes me feel? I can't make the woman I love most in the world feel safe." he yelled looking down at her.

"I wish you could Roger, but there's no way for you to protect me from everything in the world." she yelled crying harder as he dropped to his knees in front of her.

"I want to. Doesn't that count for something?" he asked quietly taking her hands in his before lifting them to his lips to kiss them.

"I wish it did Roger. I really do but it's not enough." she cried quietly as he knelt up to take her into his arms.

"I miss him April." he cried caressing her hair.

"Me too Roger. I want my baby Roger. I was pregnant and I'm supposed to have a baby. We're supposed to have our baby." she cried grabbing the back of his shirt as if she needed to hold on to him for dear life.

"Sometimes it hurts so bad, I don't want to get out of bed. But I've been trying to go on for you." he cried pulling back to look at her.

"And I was trying to be strong for you. Great job, huh?" she asked looking down at her arms.

"You were only doing what you had to do because I was too busy avoiding everything." he told her wiping his tear stained face.

"I was just sick of feeling the pain inside of me. I feel so empty." she cried looking up at him.

"I know Baby." he said leaning in to kiss her head.

"It makes the pain go away Baby. I feel so free." she said looking up at him.

"I want the pain to go away April. For both of us." he said caressing her face.

"It can Baby. It can all go away." she said looking up at him.

"Is it gonna hurt?" he asked looking over at her.

"Only long enough for the needle to go into your arm. It's just a pinch and it's just for a second. Then there's this wonderful high." she told him wiping her wet face dry.

"OK Baby. How do we do it?" he asked reaching into his pocket for the baggie. April got up to get the works that Denise gave her out of her purse and they did their first hit of heroin together. It was their first, but certainly not their last. From that day on, she and Roger used nearly everyday. Roger blew through his savings in no time buying smack. He lost his job, got kicked out of the band and April got kicked out of school as a result. They went from seeing their friends occasionally to not at all. They had become consumed with using.

* * *

"April, answer the phone. It's Denise. April, where are you? OK, I wanted to tell you this in person, but I can't seem to find you these days. You need to go to the doctor. I just got back from the doctor and I got the disease and you and Roger need to get tested. I'm sorry girlfriend. Call me if you need anything, OK? Bye." the voice on the answering machine said as April stood over it in shock.

"The disease." she thought to herself. "She couldn't mean AIDS, right? I mean, only gay guys and junkies got it. She and Roger weren't junkies. They just used when they wanted to. They could stop any time, right?" She looked down at the track marks on her arms and realized that she was a junkie. They both were. She decided to get tested. She didn't want to tell Roger until she knew for sure. No need in worrying him over nothing, right.

* * *

_3 Months Later_

"Where are you going Baby?" Roger asked rolling over in the bed, seeing April getting dressed.

"Um... I gotta go meet Denise. I'll be back later. Go back to sleep Baby." she lied looking down at him.

"OK Baby. Hurry home." he mumbled before going back to sleep.

"OK Baby. I love you." she whispered leaning down to kiss his head.

"I love you too." he mumbled grabbing her pillow and got comfortable.

* * *

"How can we help you today Miss Erickson?" the nurse asked as April entered the free clinic a few blocks away from her apartment.

"I'm here for an HIV test, please." she whispered so no one would hear her.

"Fill this out and have a seat. A nurse will be with you shortly." the receptionist told her barely looking up .

"Thank you." she said taking a seat and starting to fill out the form. "Name: April Marie Erickson. Date of Birth: 05-04-71. Sex: Female. Are you sexually active: Yes. Do you engage in any illegal drug use?: Yes. If yes, what drug(s) do you abuse?: Heroin. Do you believe you could be HIV positive: Yes." she filled out taking a deep breath before filling out the rest of the form.

"Have a seat Miss Erikson." the nurse said as they entered the lab. "Roll up your sleeve, please." she requested as April embarrassingly did as she asked. "Is there a reason you would think you've contracted the HIV virus?" she asked before looking down and seeing April's track marks. "Oh. Never mind." she said before tying off her arm and taking blood. "There. All done. You can expect your test results in in about a week. We'll call you when you can pick them up." she said putting the bandaid on her arm.

"Thank you." she said looking over at her before leaving the clinic. That was all done, now all she had to do was wait.


	12. Chapter 12

"April, are you here?" Roger called out as he entered the apartment. He had just gone out to get more smack and he was hoping April would be home, so he wouldn't have to wait for her to do it. He looked around and didn't see anyone. He checked the bedrooms and she wasn't in either one of them. When he approached the bathroom he noticed reddish water coming from under the door. "April?" he called out before opening the door. "April. No." he yelled rushing over to the bathtub. "Oh Baby, what did you do?" he asked beginning to cry. "What did you do?" he repeated looking down at her. The love of his life was lying in the bathtub naked as water mixed with her blood over flowed onto the floor. As he stood ankle deep in water, he reached into the tub to scoop her into his arms and take her out. There were self inflicted cuts on her wrists and her body was lifeless. He held her in his arms and cried. "April, why? Why would you leave me?" he cried as he rocked her back and forth in his arms as he sat in the water and blood mixture on the floor. As he looked up, he noticed something scrawled on the mirror in red lipstick. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand to focus on the words on the mirror. "We've Got AIDS!!!!" it ready as he looked down at her. "Oh my God April. No. No." he called out holding her closer to him before kissing her forehead. His worst nightmares were being realized. The love of his life was dead and he had AIDS.

He sat in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity, holding his beautiful April in his arms. Finally, he kissed her lips one last time before placing her onto the wet floor before getting up and stumbling into the living room. He picked up the phone to call 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked.

"Um... my girlfriend slit her wrists in our bathroom. She's... she's dead." he told her quietly holding back more tears.

"Sir, is she breathing?" she asked.

"No, she's um... she's dead. I came home, but I couldn't save her. I'm sorry. I couldn't protect her." he cried dropping the phone and walking into the bedroom. He sat on the bed and prepared a large shot before tying his arm off and injecting it into his vein. He fell backwards on the bed and drifted off into a very familiar fog.

* * *

"Roger, wake up. Dammit, I'm gonna dump ice water on his damn face if he doesn't wake his ass up right now." Collins threatened as he stood over Roger's hospital bed. 

"Collins, calm down sweetie. He's been through enough right now. He needs to rest." Allison told him standing on the other side of the bed.

"He hasn't been through enough. The drugs didn't kill him, but I might. How could he be so stupid? No wonder him and April have been avoiding us. Dumbasses are junkies." he said starting to pace around the hospital room.

"Well April's not a junkie anymore because she's dead." Maureen snapped at him before running out of the room.

"I'll get her." Allison said looking over at Mark.

"No, let me. Stay here with Roger and Collins. Make sure Collins doesn't finish the job." Mark told her as he chased after Maureen.

"Roger honey, you have to wake up now, OK? We need you to wake up." Allison said quietly as she took Roger's hand in hers.

"If the dumbass knows what's good for him, he'll stay asleep. Because I'm liable to kill him." Collins snarled before leaving the room.

"Roger honey, it's OK. Everyone's here. Collins doesn't mean what he says. He's just scared honey. Please wake up for me, OK?" she pleaded kissing his hand as she held it to her cheek. She watched him sleep wondering how they got there. One friend was dead, another nearly died himself and was HIV positive along with another friend. This was not the world she was brought up in. She was brought up in affluence. Her parents owned homes in Upstate, NY and in Florida, and they owned the apartment she lived in as well as the building on Avenue A where her boyfriend and his friends lived.

"Allie?" Roger called out quietly in a hoarse voice.

"You're awake. Are you OK honey? We were so worried about you." she told him standing up but never letting go of his hand.

"Am I dead?" he asked looking around the hospital room.

"No, thank God. The paramedics found you just in time. You're gonna be OK." she said as Collins re entered the room.

"April's dead and I wanted to be too." he told her as tears rose to his eyes.

"You're awake, good. Now I can kill you myself. What the hell were you two thinking? Heroin? I thought you two were smarter than that." Collins said standing at Roger's bedside.

"April's dead Collins and I have AIDS. I might as well be dead." he cried turning away from him as Allison swept the sweaty hair off of his forehead.

"It's OK honey. We're gonna take care of you now. We're all here. Aren't we Collins?" she asked looking up at him.

"He's gotta stop doing that shit. That's a deal breaker. I'm not gonna watch him be a dumbass. I'll tell you that right now Babygirl. So you better make sure he knows that." he said putting his hands on his hips.

"Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone? All I wanted to do was die and now I'm stuck here. Without April." he cried as Allison caressed his stubbled face.

"I'm so sorry sweetie. But we'll get you into a good rehab and on good meds, so her death wasn't for nothing." she said looking down at him.

"Allie, I lost the only woman I ever really loved. The only woman I ever wanted to marry. How am I supposed to go on?" he asked looking up at her. The look in his eyes broke her heart. He looked like a lost puppy. She had never seen him look so hurt.

"I'm gonna go get the doctor. Don't shoot anymore shit into yourself while I'm gone, OK?" Collins snapped before he left.

"I just want to die Allie. Please, let me die." he wept looking away from her.

"I'm not gonna let you die Roger." she told him holding back tears.

"April's dead. What the hell am I living for now?" he yelled looking towards her.

"How about your friends? Aren't we worth living for?" she asked looking down at him as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Why live now? So you guys can watch me die later? It's not fucking worth it Allie. Just let me go. Forget about me." he cried turning his back as he clutched his pillow crying.

"We're not gonna forget about you Roger. We love you and we're gonna help you." she cried leaning over to touch his back but he pulled away from her.

"I said go." he yelled burying his face into his pillow more. Allison pulled away, before obeying Roger's wishes and rushing out of the room. She ran into Collins on her way out.

"What happened Babygirl? I heard Roger yelling." he asked looking down at her.

"I have to go Collins. He doesn't want me here. He doesn't want any of us here. He just wants to die alone. I can't watch him kill himself." she cried burying her face in his chest.

"Babygirl, he just lost the love of his life. He doesn't know what he's saying." he said holding her tight.

"I just have to go. Please, just let me go." he pleaded breaking away from him, rushing down the hall to leave. He watched her go before going into Roger's hospital room. When he entered the room, he heard Roger weeping into his pillow.

"Now that Allie's gone, it's just you and me. What the hell were you two thinking? What would make you turn to smack rather than your friends?" he asked sitting on the side of the bed Roger was facing.

"It was my fault. I failed her. I wasn't there, so she turned to smack. She said that it made all the pain go away and I wanted it to go away too. So I did it." he cried holding his pillow.

"I'm sorry about April and I'm sorry you're positive, but you're not alone now. We're not gonna let anything happen to you anymore. We're all here for you." Collins told him leaning over to caress his head.

"Why did she leave me Collins? Didn't she think I would take care of her?" he cried looking over at him.

"I don't know, man. I'm sure she was scared and wasn't thinking straight." he said moving closer to him.

"I loved her Collins. I wanted to marry her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life taking care of her and our kids. She didn't want to try to have another baby and I was fine with that. Losing the baby was hard for both of us. All I ever wanted to do was take care of her." he cried looking over at him.

"I know Roger, but you have to go on. For April. She wouldn't want this for you. She wouldn't want you to kill yourself. She loves you." he said looking over at him.

"I loved her too Collins, but she didn't care. She killed herself anyway." he cried harder into the pillow.

"I'm gonna take care of you Roger. I swear." he told him, getting up to sit on the bed and hold his friend in his arms as he wept.


	13. Chapter 13

"Is he going?" Maureen asked as Collins came out of Roger's room at the loft. He moved back in after being released from the hospital, so everyone could take care of him.

"I don't know. He's just sitting on his bed crying into his hands." he told her quietly before going into the kitchen. He reached up for a bottle of Stoli and took the cap off.

"What are you doing? We have to go to a funeral." Mark asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'm going to the funeral of a 23 year old girl who committed suicide. The girlfriend of my best friend who has HIV. I think I deserve a damn drink Mark." he told him before drinking from the bottle.

"I'm gonna go in and talk to him. We need to go." Maureen said as she walked towards Roger's room. "Roger honey, I'm coming in." she called out as she opened the door.

"Go away Maureen. I'm not going." he cried not looking up at her.

"You have to go sweetie. You need closure." she said sitting on the bed next to him.

"She was gonna be the mother of my child Maureen. Then she lost the baby and then she started using heroin to forget and I let her talk me into it and everything got all fucked up. She's dead because of me. I couldn't get her to stop and now she's dead and I'm dying. How am I supposed to say goodbye to her? I loved her but that wasn't enough." he yelled getting up from the bed to pace around his room.

"She's not dead because of you. She's dead because losing the baby was so hard for her, she needed to forget. She didn't see any other way out of it. I don't blame you Roger. And you shouldn't blame yourself. She couldn't handle it. She felt like she was alone, but you don't have to be. We're all here for you. We're gonna help you. I swear." she said looking up at him holding back tears.

"She was your best friend Maureen. How do you not hate me?" he asked looking down at her.

"Because I fucked up too Roger. She needed me and I let her shut me out. I figured she wasn't calling me because you guys needed time alone to get over the baby, but it was more. I should have seen it, but I didn't. I'm sorry Roger." she cried as he sat next to her.

"We both fucked up." he cried putting his arms around her.

"We loved her Roger and we need to say we're sorry for not being there when she needed us. We need to say goodbye to her." she said looking up at him.

"I'm so sorry Maureen." she cried as they held each other.

"Me too Roger." she cried as Collins and Mark stood outside the door wiping their tears.

* * *

"Get the fuck out of my way Benny." Roger yelled standing toe to toe with Benny at the loft.

"You think I can't take you? Try me." Benny yelled back as getting in Roger's face.

"I gotta get out of here. I don't understand why you won't let me go." he yelled back as Collins came out of his room.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked walking towards them.

"He thinks he's gonna go out and I'm just telling him he's not." he said looking over at him.

"Roger, get back into your room please. I'll get you some water. It's almost time for your meds." he told him very matter of factly.

"I don't want it. It makes me nauseous and I feel like shit as it is because I need a hit. Get the fuck out of my way Benny." he yelled looking over at Benny.

"Well, you have to take it Roger, so get the hell back in your room." Collins yelled going over to him.

"I need to get the hell out of here Collins. I can't stay here." he yelled looking over at him.

"You have to stay here Roger. I just went to a friends funeral last week, I don't plan on going to another one for a long time. So get back in your damn room and I'll get your meds." he yelled looking over at him.

"Fine. But you can't hold me hostage forever." he yelled rushing off to his room before slamming the door.

"How much longer are we gonna have to do this? He's getting more aggressive. I swore he was gonna go through me tonight." Benny asked looking over at Collins as he got the pills and water.

"The withdrawal shouldn't be too much longer. Then he'll be detoxed and we can get him into rehab. He'll be OK." he reassured before going into Roger's bedroom. He was laying on the bed clutching his stomach crying. "Roger, are you OK?" he asked rushing over to him, putting the glass and the pill bottle on the floor next to the bed.

"I just want to go out and forget Collins. Why won't you let me forget? If you really care about me you'll let me." he cried into his pillow.

"We do care about you Roger. That's why we want you alive. We love you. And April loved you. She wouldn't want you to give up like this." he said rubbing his back.

"Well, she gave up, so why shouldn't I?" he yelled at him sitting up.

"I'm sure she regrets it now." he said taking him into his arms.

"I miss her so much Collins. I need April back Collins. I would have taken care of her, if she would have only let me." he cried holding him tight.

"I know man. I'm sure she knew that too. But she probably didn't want you to have to. She knew you loved her man." he said holding him tight.

"I did love her. I loved her more than anything. How am I gonna go on without her?" he cried as Collins caressed his head.

"I don't know man, you just do." he whispered looking down at him.

* * *

"How is he?" Allison asked looking over at Collins as he came out of the bedroom.

"He's sleeping now. He took his meds and cried himself to sleep. He wants to die." he said looking over at him.

"Well, that's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna let my best friends boyfriend kill himself." Maureen said looking up at him fighting back tears.

"No, we're not Maureen. I promise. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure he's gonna be OK." Allison said going over to her.

"How Allie? You see him. He's a train wreck. All he cares about is dying and being with April again." she cried looking over at her.

"I know honey, but he'll be OK. You'll see." she said putting her arm around her.

"How is it gonna be OK Allie? Not even your money can make everything OK." Roger yelled leaning in his bedroom doorway clutching his stomach.

"I'm gonna make sure you get into the best rehab there is and I'll make sure you get the best meds too. Honey, you're gonna be OK. I promise you." she said getting up to walk over to him.

"Nothing you can do can make any of this OK. I lost the woman I woman I wanted to marry because she didn't think I could take care of her. Why don't you go back to Westport and marry Benny and be a Muffy like your father wants you to be and leave me the hell alone." he yelled going back into his room slamming the door.

"What did I do? I'm just trying to help him." she asked looking over at Collins with tears in her eyes.

"He just needs time Allie. You have to understand. None of this is easy for him." he said looking over at her.

"But I just want to take care of him. I have the means, I might as well use it to help a friend." she said as tears fell from her eyes.

"I know Allie, but maybe you should go. He's being pretty abusive to everyone." he said looking over at her.

"I'm not afraid of Roger Davis. But I am afraid of what Roger Davis is capable of doing to himself." she cried rushing into Benny's bedroom and shutting the door.

"She's right, you know?" Maureen cried looking up at him.

"Yeah Maureen. I know." Collins said rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at the floor walking into his room leaving Maureen alone in the living room crying into her hands.


	14. Chapter 14

"This place looks like a prison." Roger complained as Collins, Mark and Benny pulled up to a large building.

"It's the best rehab Allie could get you into on short notice. It'll only be for like a month or so and then you can come home again and start your life clean." Benny said looking over at him as he drove the Range Rover up the driveway.

"Listen, um... tell Allie I said thanks. I appreciate her doing this." he said quietly looking over at him.

"Don't mention it Roger. Just get clean so you can come to mine and Allie's wedding." Benny smiled looking over at him.

"You still want me to go?" he asked surprised.

"Of course we do. Roger, you're one of my best friends. I was hoping you could stand up for me." he said as he parked in front of the rehab clinic.

"Be your best man?" Roger asked looking over at him as tears came to his eyes.

"One of them. Allie thinks I should have 3 since I have 3 best friends. I hope you don't mind being best man number 2." he smiled looking over at him.

"I'm gonna get clean Benny and after I get out. I'll be honored to stand up for you at yours and Allie's wedding." he said as tears escaped his eyes.

"Just get better Roger, OK? We'll be here when you get out." Benny told him leaning over to hug him.

"Thanks man." he smiled wiping his eyes before the men got out of the SUV.

"Listen to me Roger. Don't shut down, OK? Just do what you need to do to get better, OK? That includes talking about April and the baby. Do you hear me?" Collins asked looking over at him before taking him in his arms for a hug.

"I will. I wanna get better." he said looking up at him.

"You will man. I love you, you know that, right?" he asked looking down at him.

"Yeah, I love you too Collins." he said looking up at him.

"Forget it man. You're not my type." Collins laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"I caught you looking at my ass." Roger joked looking up at him as Collins stepped back so Mark could say his goodbye.

"You wish." Collins smiled as Mark stepped towards Roger.

"You can do this Roger. You're the strongest guy I know." Mark said looking down at his feet as he walked towards Roger.

"I love you too Mark." Roger said reaching out to hug Mark. "I'm sorry for everything, man. I never meant to hurt anyone."

"I know Roger. Just get well, OK?" Mark said holding on to Roger's leather jacket tightly.

"I will. Tell Maureen... just tell her I love her, OK? And I'm sorry for everything I put her through." he said looking down at him.

"She love you too Roger. She just wants you to get well." he said looking up at him.

"I will. I swear. I'm gonna be just like I was. I promise." he said looking down at him.

"Don't worry about that Roger. Just worry about getting better, OK?" Benny said looking over at him.

"Thanks man. For everything." he said hugging him again before Roger went into the front doors of the rehab clinic to begin his healing.

* * *

"Now that everyone's here, we can start group." a young woman smiled addressing a room full of people. The chairs were set up in a circle. "We have a new member to our group. Why don't we all welcome Roger to our group." she continued holding a notebook before sitting back in her chair.

"Welcome Roger." the group announced in unison.

"Roger, why don't you introduce yourself and tell us why you're here?" the young woman asked looking over at Roger. Everyone was looking at him and he was very uncomfortable. He couldn't help thinking about when he used to perform. He had a bar full of people staring at him on a regular basis, but this made him very uncomfortable. A room full of people he didn't know, expecting him to open up and tell them every detail of his life. The good and the bad.

"I'm um... I'm Roger. I'm an addict." he started looking around the room.

"Why don't you tell us about yourself? What was your drug of choice? Why did you start using?" the young woman asked leaning forward on her legs.

"Well, my drug was smack. My girlfriend April and I used to do it together." he said looking over at her.

"What happened to your girlfriend?" she asked looking up at him.

"She um... she killed herself when she found out we were positive." he told her, keeping his answers short and to the point.

"That must have been hard for you to deal with." she said writing in her book.

"I tried to shoot as much shit into my veins as possible. The medics found me and brought me to the hospital. They saved my life." he said leaning forward folding his hands.

"What made you start using?" an older gentleman asked breaking the silence of the group.

"My girlfriend... she um... she lost our baby. She started using with a friend of hers to forget and she made it sound so appealing, I felt like I needed to do it too. I wanted to stop the pain. So I shot it into my veins. It felt so good, I kept going." he told the group before standing up to walk around the room.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend and your baby. I understand how getting high would be better than dealing with that head on." a young woman said looking up at Roger. She was blond and she was playing with the sleeves of her sweater nervously.

"It was the worst time of my life. Literally. I mean, one minute we were celebrating our baby, the next she's laying in a hospital bed crying that it was her fault that he was gone. I didn't know how to help her. If I knew how to help her, she'd be alive today and I wouldn't be sick." he told her as tears rose to his eyes.

"You couldn't stop her from losing the baby Roger. Sometimes these things happen. But you can't blame yourself for how she chose to deal with it. You did the best you could. No one could blame you for wanting the pain to go away. That must be a very difficult thing to deal with at your age." the counselor said looking up at him as he looked down at his hands. He knew she was right. Everyone had been telling him the same thing for months. He wiped his eyes to wipe the tears and begin his healing.

A/N: Sorry it's so short. I didn't want to drag on Pre Rent anymore than I had to. The next chapter starts Rent. I hope you're liking my epic so far. I'm working really hard on this and it means a lot to me that I made it to 50 stories and no one's bored of reading my stuff yet. Thanks.

Renthead621


	15. Chapter 15

I'm starting on during Rent right now. I hope you like it. You may notice that it's the play. In later chapters I plan on doing stuff from Roger's point of view, so until I get to it please be patient with me. Thanks. Enjoy.

"Are you ever gonna leave the house?" Mark asked standing in Roger's bedroom doorway.

"Maybe." He muttered not looking up from his guitar.

"You've been home from rehab for 6 months and the only time you left the house was for Benny and Allison's wedding and Collins' going away party. You gotta start living again." He argued looking down at him.

"And when was the last time you talked to a girl? Maureen dumped you 2 months ago and you just told your parents." He teased looking up at him.

"I'm concentrating my film making now. I'm not ready for another relationship." He said looking over at him.

"Yeah right. You just don't want to turn another girl lesbo." Roger said before looking back down to his guitar.

"I'm going to the park. I'll be back later." Mark told him before leaving the loft.

"Yeah, whatever." He said strumming on his guitar. As he sat on his bed, he reached over to the pile of pictures on the nightstand. They were of him and April from before she got pregnant. She was sticking her tongue out at Mark, who was taking the picture as Roger looked up at her smiling. He put the picture down and continued to strum his guitar. "I'm writing one great song before I…" he sung as he strummed Musetta's Waltz.

* * *

"_Speak," _the answering machine demanded as Roger started at it from the window seat as he sat smoking a cigarette. 

"Yeah Roger, Mark… Listen, my investor really would like for that building to be evacuated before the first of the year. We have big plans. It's not too late to get in on it. You know what to do. I'll be by tomorrow to talk more about it. Later." Benny said as Roger rolled his eyes before directing his attention outside again. Benny had been trying to get them and everyone in the building to leave for months. He wanted to build an art studio. It would be the biggest one in the city. It would house, film makers, musicians, artists, and actors. He had the right idea, but he was going about it the wrong way. He was letting his father in law dictate how it was to be done. Benny and Allison hadn't been coming around much lately because of Benny's plan to get Mark and Roger out of the building. Allison had been staying close to Westport due to her mother being sick. With Benny and her father scheming to get people thrown out into the streets, she decided the best thing was to steer clear of the fireworks.

After a while, Roger got up and stepped out onto the fire escape. When he did, he noticed smoke rising from the fire escape below. He looked down and noticed an attractive latina woman. She looked no older than he did when he moved into the building with Benny and Collins. After looking down at her, he turned around and went back into the loft, closing the window behind him.

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and Roger was sitting on the metal table playing his guitar. "Why the hell is this so damn hard?" he asked as he tuned his guitar and played some, tuned and played some more. 

"December 24, 9 PM, eastern standard time. From here on in I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it. Instead of my old shit." Mark said focusing the camera on Roger. "First shot Roger, with the fender guitar he hasn't played in a year."

"This won't tune." Roger complained looking over at him.

"So we hear." Mark joked as Roger gave him a dirty look. "He's just coming back from half a year withdrawal." Mark narrated filming Roger with the guitar.

"Are you talking to me?" Roger asked looking up at him.

"Not at all." he covered moving around the living room. "Are you ready? Hold that focus steady." he told himself stopping himself from shivering. "Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger." he solicited.

"I'm writing one great song before I..." he started as the phone rang.

"The phone rings." Mark said looking at the ringing phone.

"Saved." Roger smiled looking up from the guitar to look at the answering machine.

"We screen. Zoom in on the answering machine." Mark commented looking at the answering machine with Roger.

"That was a very loud beep. I don't even know if this is working Mark. Mark, are you screening your calls? It's mom. We just wanted to call and say we love you and we'll miss you tomorrow. Cindy and the kids are here, send their love. Oh, I hope you like the hot plate. Just don't leave it on dear, when you leave the house. Oh and Mark, we're sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you. I say C'est La Vie. Let her be a lesbian. There are other fishes in the sea. Love mom." the voice said as Roger laughed and Mark buried his face in his hands in embarrassment.

"Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger." he asked taking the heat off of himself.

"I'm writing one great song..." he started again before being interrupted by the phone again.

"We screen." Mark commented again as Roger smiled.

"Speak." the outgoing message commanded as it picked up the phone.

"Yesss." he smiled looking over at the answering machine.

"Chestnuts roasting..." the voice on the phone sang as Mark rushed to the phone.

"Collins." he and Roger called out as Mark picked up the phone.

"I'm downstairs." Collins said as he stood at the phone booth on the corner.

"Hey." Mark said into the phone.

"Roger picked up the phone?" Collins asked surprised.

"No, it's me." Mark smiled holding the phone to his ear.

"Throw down the key." Collins said into the phone.

"A wild night is now pre-ordained." Mark smiled looking over at Roger.

"I may be detained." Collins said looking up at three men approached him.

"What does he mean...?" Mark asked hanging up the phone. The phone rang again and Mark rushed to answer it. "What do you mean... detained?" Mark asked answering the phone.

"Ho ho ho." the voice said as Mark's smiled faded.

"Benny?" he said into the phone. "Shit." he and Roger called out as Mark walked over to Roger who was sitting on the metal table.

"Dudes, I'm on my way." Benny said as he drove towards the loft in his Range Rover.

"Great! Fuck." Mark and Roger said.

"I need the rent." Benny told them as Mark and Roger looked at each other.

"What rent?" Mark asked as Roger gave him a look.

"This past years rent which I let slide." Benny reminded them.

"Let slide? You said we were golden." Mark argued looking over at Roger.

"When you bought the building." Roger yelled into the phone.

"When we were roommates." Mark reminded him.

"Remember, you lived here?" Roger asked into the phone.

"How could I forget? You, me, Collins and Maureen. How is the drama queen?" he asked stopped at a light.

"She's performing tonight." Mark remembered.

"I know. Still her production manager?" Benny asekd curiously.

"Two days ago I was bumped." Mark told him timidly.

"You still dating her?"

"Last month I was dumped." Mark said embarrassed.

"She's in love." Roger joked as Mark gave him a look.

"She's got a new man?" Benny asked.

"Well... no." Mark said as a smiled crossed Roger's face.

"What's his name?" Benny asked probing.

"Joanne." Mark and Roger told him as Roger tried to keep from laughing.

"Rent, my amigos is due. Or I will have to evict you. Be there in a few." Benny told them as Mark hung up the phone. Roger looked down at his guitar and began to play his favorite warm up tune. Musetta's Waltz from La Boheme. Suddenly the power went out.

"The power blows." Mark said looking over at Roger as he played with the lamp to try to turn it on to no avail.


	16. Chapter 16

I know it's taking me a while to post each chapter, but even though they're already written, it's really hard to do. Especially since I'm trying to stick to the material and be original. Please be patient with me. I promise you won't be disappointed. I already have a bunch of the post Rent chapters written up and I'm pretty proud of them. I'm sure you all have heard already that our beloved show is closing on June 1, 2008. I am sad too, but the message can live on if we all just continue living ours the way the show has inspired us to. No day but today. Seeing the show is just the beginning, the rest is up to us. Rent will live in our hearts forever.

Renthead621

A young hispanic man sat on the stoop of a building on Avenue A. He was banging on a pickle tub with a pair of drum sticks. He heard coughing from the alley next to the building. He got up, putting a small christmas tree into his pickle tub and starting towards the alley. "Are you OK honey?" he asked walking down towards the man lying on the cold concrete.

"I'm afraid so." Collins told him as the young hispanic man helped him up.

"They get any money?" the hispanic man asked sitting Collins down on a milk crate.

"No, had none to get. But they purloined my coat. Well you missed a sleeve!" he yelled down the aisle. "Thanks." he smiled looking over at the good samaritan.

"Hell, it's Christmas eve." he smiled looking over at him. "I'm Angel." he smiled holding his hand out to help Collins up.

"Angel...? Indeed. An Angel of the first degree. Friends call me Collins. Tom Collins. Nice tree." he smiled looking over at the small tree Angel had in his pickle tub.

"Let's get a band aid for your knee. I'll change. There's a Life Support meeting at 9:30." he said as Collins looked down at him. "Yes this body provides a comfortable home for the Acquired immune deficiancy syndrome." he said looking over at him.

"As does mine." Collins told him looking down at the ground.

"We'll get along fine. Get you a coat, have a bite, make a night. I'm flush." Angel flirted looking up at him.

"My friends are waiting." Collins laughed looking down at him blushing.

"You're cute when you blush. The more the merry... ho ho ho. And I don't take no." Angel smiled linking his arm with Collins as they left the alley.

* * *

"I don't suppose you'd like to see Maureen's show in the lot tonight? Or come to dinner?" Mark asked standing by the door of the loft which had candles lit all over for light.

"Zoom in on my empty wallet." Roger told him looking up.

"Touche. Take you're AZT." Mark said looking over at him. "Close on Roger. His girlfriend April left a note saying "We've got AIDS. Before slitting her wrists in the bathroom." Mark narrated into his camera as Roger gave him a dirty look. "I'll check up on you later. Change your mind. You gotta get out of the house." Mark told him before leaving the loft.

"I'm writing one great song before I..." he started before playing Musetta's Waltz on his guitar. _"One song Glory. One song before I go. Glory, one song to leave behind. Find, one song, one last refrain. Glory, from the pretty boy front man. Who wasted opportunity. One song, he had the world at his feet. Glory, in the eyes of a young girl, a young girl. Find Glory, beyond the cheap colored lights. One song, before the sunsets. Glory, on another empty life. Time flies, time dies. Glory, one blaze of Glory. One blaze of Glory. Glory. Find Glory in a song that rings true. Truth like a blazing fire. An eternal flame. Find, one song. A song about love. Glory, from the soul of a young man. A young man. Find the one song, before the virus takes hold. Glory, like a sunset. One song, to redeem this empty life. Time flies, and then no need to endure anymore. Time dies." _Roger sang strumming on his guitar when there was a knock at the door. "The door." he moaned before getting up to answer it. "What'd you forget?" he asked thinking it was Mark before seeing the small, attractive hispanic woman in front of him.

"Got a light?" she asked holding a taper candle in her hands.

"I know you? You're... shivering." he noticed taking his jacket off and starting to put it across her shoulders.

"It's nothing. They turned off my heat and I'm just a little weak on my feet. Would you light my candle?" she asked looking up at him. "What are you staring at?" she asked noticing that he was staring at her.

"Nothing. Your hair in the moonlight. You look familiar." he covered lighting the match. "Can you make it?" he asked noticing her stumble a bit.

"Just haven't eaten much today. At least the room stopped spinning anyway." she covered looking up at him. "What?"

"Nothing. Your smile reminded me of..." he started when she interrupted him.

"I always remind people of... Who is she?" she asked looking up at him as she entered the loft.

"She died. Her name was April." he said looking down at his feet.

"It's out again." she said blowing the candle out casually. "Sorry about your friend. Would you light my candle?" she asked walking up to him again as he lit another match.

"Well..." he said uncomfortably.

"Yeah." she flirted before the wax dripped on her hand. "Ow." she cried out as he looked down at her hand.

"Oh, the wax. It's..." he noticed touching her hand.

"Dripping. Like it between my..." she started as she caressed his hand.

"Fingers. I figured..." he said snatching his hand away quickly. "Oh well. Goodnight." he said stepping away from her before pointing at the door. The small hispanic woman began exiting the loft, blowing the candle out again before reaching into her pocket and noticing that something fell out so she knocked again. "It blew out again?" Roger asked taking his matches out of his back pocket again.

"No, I think I dropped my stash." she said looking around on the floor that was lit with nothing but candles.

"I know I've seen you out and about, when I used to go out. Your candle's out." he told her as she kept looking around on the floor.

"I'm illin'. I had it when I walked in the door. It was pure." she said looking up at him. "Is it on the floor?" she asked before kneeling down to look on the floor.

"The floor?" he asked looking down at her.

"They say I have the best ass below 14th Street. Is it true?" she asked still flirting but looking for her package.

"What?" Roger asked caught off guard.

"You're staring again." she smiled looking up at him.

"Oh no... I mean, you do... have a nice..." he said embarrassed. "I mean, you look familiar." he told her, his voice squeaking as he spoke.

"Like your dead girlfriend?" she asked looking up at him.

"Only when you smile. But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else." he said looking down at her as she continued to look on the floor.

"Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work. I dance. Help me look." she said looking up at him.

"Yes! They used to tie you up." he smiled looking down at her.

"It's a living." she said defensively.

"I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs." he smiled looking on the floor for her stash.

"We could light the candle." she suggested, but it didn't appear he was paying attention. "Won't you light the candle?" she asked approaching him so he could light the candle.

"Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're 16." he said looking down at her.

"I'm 19, but I'm old for my age. I'm just born to be bad." she commented looking up at him.

"I once as born to be bad. I used to shiver like that." he said crossing his arms.

"I have no heat I told you." she said looking away from him.

"I used to sweat." he called out to her.

"I got a cold." she lied looking on the floor.

"Uh huh, I used to be a junkie." he said before she turned to look at him.

"But now and then I like to..." she started as Roger interrupted her.

"Uh huh." he smirked looking over at her.

"Feel good." she smiled putting her hands on her hips.

"Her it...um..." he said bending down to pick something up off of the floor, but quickly putting it in his back pocket.

"What's that?" she asked rushing over to him.

"Candy bar wrapper." he shrugged as she looked up at him.

"We could light the candle." she suggested looking up at him as he leaned down to blow out the candle. "What'd you do to my candle?" she asked looking up at him.

"That was my last match." he smirked looking down at her.

"Our eyes will adjust. Thank God for the moon." she observed putting the candle down on the table before sitting down.

"Maybe it's not the moon at all. I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street." he said sitting next to her.

"Bah humbug. Bah humbug." she said reaching out for his hand.

"Cold hands." he told her uncomfortably.

"Yours too." she smiled tracing the lines in his palm. "Big. Like my fathers. Do you wanna dance?" she asked getting up.

"With you?" he asked looking up at her.

"No, with my father." she answered sarcastically helping him up.

"I'm Roger." he smiled looking down at her.

"They call me. They call me, Mimi." she smiled reaching around his back to his back pocket. She took out the baggie and waved it in his face before turning on her heels and leaving the loft.


	17. Chapter 17

"Hi, you have reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget Over the Moon, my performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless, and artists from the Eleventh Street lot. Tonight in the lot between A and B. Party at the Life Cafe to follow. Beep." said the outgoing message that sat in a large apartment. There were cow trikets all over the apartment with a picture of a young interracial female couple sitting on the end table.

"Well Joanne, we're off. I tried you at the office and they said you were stage managing or something." an older man spoke into the telephone.

"Remind her that those unwed mothers in Harlem need her legal help too." and older woman called out from a distance.

"Call Daisy for out itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge. Or Eileen at the State Department in a pinch. We'll be at the spa for new year's. Unless the senator changes his mind." the older man continued as the older woman looked up from her packing.

"The hearings." she called out looking over at him.

"Oh yes Kitten. Mummy's confirmation hearings begin on the tenth. We'll need you alone by the sixth." he said looking up at the older woman.

"Harold." she called out putting a folded blouse in a suit case.

"You hear that? It's three weeks away and she's already nervous." he laughed looking up at her.

"I am not." she protested looking over at him.

"For Mummy's sake Kitten. No Doc Martens this time and wear a dress... Oh and Kitten, have a Merry..." he said before being interrupted by the older woman.

"And a bra." she yelled out before the answering machine cut him off.

* * *

The loft door slid open to reveal Mark and Collins. "Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who ran naked through the Parthenon.." Mark laughed looking up at Collins who was making a grand entrance.

"Bustelo, Marlboro. Banana by the bunch. A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good." Mark and Collins smiled as they unpacked grocery bags at the metal counter.

"And firewood." Collins added looking over at him.

"Look, it's Santa Claus." Mark smiled looking up at Collins.

"Hold your applause." Collins said looking down at Roger.

"Oh, hi." he moaned looking up at him.

"Oh hi? After seven months?" he asked looking over at him.

"Sorry." Roger apologized looking up at him.

"This boy could use some stoli." he smiled taking the liquor bottle out of the bag before putting his arm around Roger's shoulders.

"_Oh holy night."_Collins, Mark and Roger sung happily.

"Struck gold at MIT?" Roger asked looking up at him.

"They expelled me for my theory on actual reality. Which I'll soon impart to the couch potatoes at New York University. Still haven't left the house." he smiled flipping Roger's grown out hair.

"I was waiting for you, don't you know?" he answered sarcastically as he ran his fingers through his hair to fix it.

"Well tonight's the night. Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show." Collins smiled looking over at him.

"No flow." Mark and Roger told him simultaneously.

"Gentleman, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve. Whose charity if only matched by talent. I believe. A new member of the alphabet city avant garde. Angel Dumott Schunard." Collins announced as a young man dressed as a woman pranced into the loft.

"Today for you, tomorrow for me." he smiled twirling around the loft. Dancing and singing.

* * *

"Hey you bum. Yeah you, move over. Get your ass off that Range Rover." someone yelled as the boys got off of the couch to go to the window to see who it was.

"That attitude towards the homeless is just what Maureen is protesting tonight." Mark yelled out from the fire escape.

"Maureen is protesting losing her performance space. Not my attitude." Benny yelled up to him.

"What happened to Benny? What happened to his heart and the ideals he once pursued." Roger yelled looking down at him.

"The owner of that lot next door has a right to do with it as he pleases." Benny yelled back at him from the street.

"Happy birthday, Jesus." Collins yelled down from the fire escape.

"The rent." Benny yelled up.

"We're broke." Roger yelled looking down at him.

"And you broke your work. This is absurd." Mark said waving his hand at him.

"There is one way you won't have to pay." Benny teased looking up at them.

"I knew it." Roger groaned folding his arms across his chest.

"Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see. And now that the block is re zoned our dream can become a reality. You'll see boys." he smirked looking up at them.

"What?" Mark asked.

"Convince Maureen to cancel her protest." Benny said looking up at him.

"Why not just get an injunction, or call the cops?" Mark asked folding his arms across his chest.

"I did and their on stand by. But my investors would rather I handle this quietly." he explained looking up at him.

'You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city then watch It's a Wonderful Life on tv." Roger yelled looking down at him angrily.

"You want to produce films and write songs, you need somewhere to do it. It's what we used to dream about, so think twice before you pooh pooh it. You'll see, the beauty of a studio that let's us do our work and get paid. With condos on the top whose rent keeps open our shop. Just stop the protest and you'll have it made. You'll see, or you'll pack." he threatened looking up at them.

"That boy could use some Prozac." Angel smiled looking down at him.

"Or heavy drugs." Roger smirked looking down at him.

"Or group hugs." Mark added looking over at them.

"Which reminds me. We have a detour to make tonight. Anyone who wants to can come along." Collins smiled looking over at Roger.

"Life Support's a group for people coping with life. You don't have to stay too long." Angel said looking over at Mark.

"First I've got a protest to save." Mark smiled looking over at him.

"Roger." Angel smiled looking over at Roger.

"I'm not much company you'll find." Roger groaned at him going back inside.

"Behave." Mark urged following him in.

"He'll catch up later, he's just got other things on his mind." Angel smiled putting his hands on his hips before they left the loft. Leaving Roger alone in the loft. Again.

* * *

Mark walked into the performance space at the Eleventh Street lot to find an attractive african woman was standing fiddling around with the switches on a control board.

"Mark?" she asked noticing him enter the building.

"Hi." he said giving her a weak smiled.

"I told her not to call you." she said putting her hand on her hips.

"That's Maureen. But can I help since I'm here?" he asked looking up at him.

"I hired an engineer..." she interrupted.

"Great. Well, nice to have met you." he said starting to leave.

"Wait." she called after him. She's three hours late. The samples won't delay. But the cable..." she told him as he went to the control board.

"There's another way. Say something. Anything." he said looking over at her.

"Test, one, two three." she said standing in front of the microphones.

"Anything but that." he cringed looking over at her.

"This is weird." she said looking over at him.

"It's weird." he confirmed looking over at her.

"Very weird." she said turning to him.

"Fuckin' weird." he said looking over at her.

"I'm so mad that I don't know what to do. Fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones and to top it all off, I'm with you." she said walking away from him

"Feel like you're going insane? Got a fire in your brain? And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?" he asked looking over at her.

"As a matter of fact..." she started as Mark interrupted her.

"Honey, I know this act. It's called the Tango Maureen. The Tango Maureen, it's like a dark dizzy merry go round. As she keeps you dangling." he smiled looking over at her.

"You're wrong." she said looking up at him.

"Your heart she is mangling." he said walking to her.

"It's different with me." she countered looking up at him.

"And you toss and you turn 'cause her cold eyes can burn. Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound." he smiled looking over at her.

"I think I know what you mean." she conceded. "The Tango Maureen." they both said as Mark smiled.

"Has she ever pouted her lips and called you Pookie?" he asked looking over at her.

"Never." she said turning from him.

"Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?" he asked walking over at her.

"This is spooky. Did you swoon when she walked through the door?" she asked looking over at him.

"Every time. So be cautious." he warned looking over at her.

"Did she moon over other boys?" she asked walking to him.

"More than moon." he said looking over at her.

"I'm getting nauseous." she said looking down at the ground.

"She cheated." Joanne confessed looking over at him.

"She cheated." he said looking over at her.

"Maureen cheated." she confirmed looking over at him.m

"Fuckin' cheated." he said looking over at her.

"I'm defeated. I should give up right now." she said looking over at him.

"Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might." he encouraged looking overat her.

"I'd fall for her still anyhow." she told him with her hands on her hips.

"When you're dancing her dance you don't stand a chance. Her grip of romance makes you fall." they sang as they began dancing a tango.

"So you think might as well..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Dance a tango to hell." she sang dancing with him.

"At least I'll have tangoed at all. The Tango Maureen. Gotta dance til your diva is through. You pretend to believe her cause in the end, you can't leave her. But the end it will come. Still you have to play dumb til you're glum and you bum and you're blue." they danced around the performance space.

"Why do we love when she's mean?" he asked as they stopped dancing.

"And she can be so obscene." Joanne smiled looking over at him.

"Try the mike." he suggested going over to the stage.

"My Maureen (een, een, een...)" she said as the mike echoed through the performance space.

"Patched." he smiled looking down at the control board.

"Thanks." Joanne smiled looking over at him.

"You know? I feel great now." Mark smiled looking over at her.

"I feel lousy." she groaned looking over at him.

"The Tango Maureen." they said simultaneously.

I know, 2 chapters posted in one day. Will miracles never cease. I found this chapter easier than the other ones. But I don't anticipate the future ones to be this easy. I hope you're enjoying it so far.

Renthead621


	18. Chapter 18

Mark walked into the small room located in a community center. He tried to enter quietly as the group were making their introductions.

"Steve"

"Gordon."

"Ali."

"Pam."

"Sue."

"Hi, I'm Angel."

"Tom. Collins."

"I'm Paul. Let's begin." the leader said looking around to everyone.

"There's only us. There's only this..." the group started reciting when they were interrupted.

"Sorry... Excuse me... Oops." Mark said as he stumbled and they all looked up at him.

"And you are?" Paul asked looking over at him.

"Oh... I'm not... I'm just here to... I don't have... I'm here with... Um, Mark. Mark, I'm Mark." he answered looking around the room. "Well, this is quite an operation." he smiled looking at his surroundings.

"Sit down Mark. We'll continue the affirmation." Paul said smiling up at him.

"Forget regret or life is yours to miss." they all continued before Gordon raised his hand.

"Excuse me Paul. I'm having a problem with this... this credo. My T-cells are low. I regret that news, OK?" he said looking over at him.

"Alright. But Gordon, how do you feel today?" Paul asked looking over at him.

"What do you mean?" Gordon asked confused.

"How do you feel today?" Paul asked again.

"OK." Gordon answered plainly.

"Is that all?" Paul asked trying to get more of an answer.

"Best I've felt all year." Gordon smiled looking over at him.

"Then why choose fear?" Paul asked leaning forward.

"I'm a New Yorker. Fear's my life." he smiled looking over at him. "Look, I find some of what you teach suspect. Because I'm used to relying on intellect. But I try to open up to what I don't know." he said looking over at him. Simultaneously, Roger's looking down at an old picture of him and April. "Because reason says I should have died three years ago." Roger whispered to himself as Gordon echoed the same thoughts.

"No other road. No other way. No day but today." the group recited looking over at Gordon who smirked.

Meanwhile, Mimi stood in her apartment in front of a full length mirror. She was dressed to kill. Ever since she encountered Roger earlier in the evening, she wanted to make him hers. She knew he wouldn't be able to resist her dressed the way she was. "What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to midnight. My body's talking to me. It says, 'Time for danger.'" she started singing looking in the mirror making grinding motions with her body.

"It says 'I wanna commmit a crime. Wanna be the cause of a fight. Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt with a stranger.'" she giggled running her hands up and down her slender body. She began prancing around her apartment as if she was dancing around the club. "I've had a knack from way back at breaking the rules once I learned the games. Get up, life's too quick. I know someplace sick where this chick'll dance in the flames. We don't need any money. I always get in for free. You can get in too if you get in with me." she sang as if she was practicing what she wanted to say to Roger.

"Let's go out tonight. I have to go out tonight. You wanna play? Let's run away. We won't be back before it's Christmas day. Take me out tonight. Meow." she giggled looking in the mirror again prancing around her apartment. When I get a wink from the doorman, do you know how lucky you'll be that you're on line with the feline of Avenue B?" she asked smiling as she primped some more. "Let's go out tonight. I have to go out tonight. You wanna prowl, be my night owl? Well take my hand we're gonna howl. Out tonight." she smiled satisfied that she was almost ready to approach Roger.

"In the evening I've got to roam. Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome. Feels too damn much like home when the spanish babies cry. So let's find a bar so dark we forget who we are and all the scars from the nevers and maybes die." she sang as she climbed out of her fire escape. "Let's go out tonight. Have to go out tonight. You're sweet wanna hit the street?" she asked climbing up the fire escape. "Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat? Just take me out tonight. Please take me out tonight. Don't frsake me. Out tonight. I'll let you make me... out tonight. Tonight, tonight, tonight." she urged dancing on the metal table in the middle of the kitchen before reaching over and planting a fierce, seductive kiss on his lips.

"Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and my guitar. Little girl, hey. The door is that way. You better go you know the fire's out anyway." he yelled looking over at her "Take your powder, take your candle, your sweet whisper. I just can't handle." he yelled taking her arm and shoving her towards the door. "Well take your hair in the moonlight, your brown eyes. Goodbye, goodnight." he said as they stood at the door. "I should tell you, I should tell you, I should tell you, I should..." he thought to himself before thinking clearly. "No, another time, another place. Our temperature would climb. There'd be a long embrace. We'd do another dance, it's be another play. Looking for romance? Come back another day. Another day." he yelled as she broke free from him.

"The heart my freeze or it can burn. The pain will ease if I can learn. There is no future, there is no past. I live this moment as my last. There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way. No day but today." she told him entering the loft again.

"Excuse me, if I'm off track. But if you're so wise, then tell me, why do you need smack? Take your needle. Take your fancy prayer and don't forget get the moonlight out of your hair. Long ago, you might've lit up my heart. But the fire's dead. Aint never ever gonna start. Another time another place the words would oly rhyme we'd be in outer space. It'd be another song, we'd sing another way. You wanna prove me wrong? Come back another day. Another day." he yelled trying to avoid her.

"There's only us. Only tonight. We must let go to know what's right. No other course, no other way. No day but today." she yelled looking over at him. "I can't control." she started when he interrupted her.

"Control your temper." he stressed to himself.

"My destiny." she continued standing up to him.

"She doesn't see." he argued walking away from her.

"I trust my soul." she yelled looking over at him.

"Who says that there's a soul?" he yelled turning towards her.

"My only goal is just to be." she said looking up at him pointing to her chest.

"Who do you think you are?" he yelled at her.

"There's only now."

"Barging in on me and my guitar."

"There's only here. Give in to love or live in fear."

"Little girl, hey. The door is that way."

"No other path. No other way. No day but today."

"The fire's out anyway."

"No day but today." she repeated looking up at him.

"Take your powder. Take your candle." he yelled at her.

"No day but today." she yelled again.

"Take your brown eyes. Your pretty smile, your silhouette."

"No day but today."

"Another time, another place another rhyme, another warm embrace."

"No day but today." she repeated.

"Another dance, another way, another chance. Another day."

"No day but today." she concluded looking over at him before leaving his loft feeling defeated.

At the community center

"Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?" someone asked sitting in a Life Support meeting. Roger sat in the loft wondering the same thing. He got up, picked up his leather jacket and walked out the door.

A/N: I know this is taking me a while, but this is very frustrating. I'm trying to take apart every scene, every song, ever lyric to get into Jonathan's head. I know the play like the back of my hand, but I've never discected it before and it's proving to be very difficult and very frustrating. Trying to figure out where Jonathan was coming from and leading to is not an easy task for this mere mortal to achieve. But I am trying and I hope none of you think less of me if it seems uneven or confusing. Thank you for sticking with me through this. I have been working a lot and just doing the mom thing.

Renthead621


	19. Chapter 19

Christmas bells are ringing.

Christmas bells are ringing.

Christmas bells are ringing.

Christmas bells are ringing.

Out of town

Santa Fe.

"Honest living man. Feliz Navidad." a squeegie man smiled as he cleaned someones windshield.

"Evening officers." A homeless man greeted as two officers approached him.

"Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin." Mark smiled holding his camera up to the officers.

"And a Merry Christmas to your family." the homeless man smiled at the officers.

"Right." the officer answered looking over at them.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't need no goddamn help from some bleeding heart cameraman. My life's not for you to make a name for yourself on." a blanket person asked looking over at Mark as he dropped the camera to his side.

"Easy sugar, easy. He's just trying to..." Angel intervened before the blanket person interrupted him.

"Just trying to use me to kill his guilt. It's not that kind of movie honey. Let's go. This lot is full of motherfucking artists. Hey artist. You got a dollar?" the blanket person asked looking over at them as they looked down at their feet. "I thought not." she smiled before walking away.

"New York City." Angel smiled as they walked off. He put his hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Uh huh." Mark smiled looking back at him.

"Center of the universe." Angel smiled as Colling followed closely ybehind.

"Sing it girl." he smiled looking over at them.

"Times are shitty. But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse." Angel sang looking up at him.

"I hear you." Mark smirked looking over at them.

"It's a comfort to know, when you're singing the hit the road blues. That anywhere else you could possibly go. After New York would be a pleasure cruise." Angel smlied as they walked through the park.

"Now you're talking. Well I'm twarted by a metaphysic puzzle. And I'm sick of grading papers, that I know. And I'm shouting in my sleep I need a muzzle. All this misery pays no salary, so let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe and leave this to the roaches and mice. Oh-oh" Collins started singing dancing around them in the park.

"You teach?" Angel asked smiling up at him.

"I teach, computer age philosophy. But my students would rather watch TV." he answered looking over at him.

"America." Angel and Mark smiled looking over at him.

"You're a sensitive aesthete. Brush the sauce onto the meat. You could make the menu sparkle with rythme. You could drum a gentle drum. I could seat guests as they come. Chatting not about heidegger but wine. Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. Our labors would reap financial gains." Collins smiled looking over at them.

"Gain, gain, gain." Mark and Angel smiled at him.

"We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe and save from devastation our brains." he smiled putting his arms around both of their shoulders.

"We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away. Devote ourselves to profects that sell. We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. Forget his cold bohemian hell." they smiled looking up at him.

"Do you know the way to Santa Fe? You know, tumble weeds, prairie dogs." Collins asked playfully as they continued to walk through the park.

"I'll meet you at the show. I'll try to convince Roger to go." Mark smiled looking up at them before heading off towards the loft.

"Alone at last." Angel smiled looking up at Collins.

"He'll be back. I guarantee." Collins smiled looking down at him.

"I've been hearing violins all night." Angel smiled swooning at Collins.

"Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?" he asked confused.

"Darling, we're everything." he smiled looking up at him. "Live in my house. I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. Be my lover. I'll cover you." he smiled looking over at him.

"Open your door. I'll be your tenant. Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet. But sweet kisses I've go to spare. I'll be there, I'll cover you." Collins smiled taking his hand.

"I think they meant it, when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it. A new lease you are, my love. On life, be my life." they laughed singing before doing a short dance. "Just slip me on. I'll be your blanket. Wherever, whatever, I'll be your coat."

"You'll be my king and I'll be your castle." Angel smiled looking into his dark brown eyes.

"No, you'll be my queen and I'll be your moat." Collins laughed taking Angel into his arms.

"I think they meant it when they said they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are, my love. On life. All my life. I've longed to discover. Something as true as this is." they smiled looking into one anothers eyes.

"So with a thousand sweet kisses." Collins smiled looking down at him.

"If you're cold and your lonely." Angel smiled looking up at him.

"I'll cover you." Collins said holding Angel close to him.

"With a thousand sweet kisses." he smiled caressing Angel's face.

"You've got one nickel only." he smiled with his arm around Collins.

"I'll cover you." Collins repeated smiling down at him.

"With a thousand sweet kisses." Angel told him.

"When you're worn out and tired." Collins smiled.

"With a thousand sweet kisses. I'll cover you." Angel said.

"When your heart has expired." Collins said holding Angel.

"Oh lover I'll cover you. Oh lover I'll cover you." they smiled looking at each other.

* * *

Joanne is sitting in her office shuffling through papers as she spoke on her cell phone. "Steve, Joanne... the Muget case?... A dismissal? Good work counselor." she smiled happy with the news she just received.

Her phone rings and she answers it. "We're okay. Honeybear... wait. I'm on the other phone... yes, I have the cowbell. We're okay." she tells her before speaking into the cell phone.

"So tell them we'll sue. But a settlement will do... Sexual harassment, and civil rights too... Steve, you're great. No you cut the paper plate. Didja cheat on Mark a lot would you say? We're Okay." she asks Maureen who was still on the other phone. "Honey hold on." she said after hearing a beep on her cell phone. "Steve, hole on." he says pressing the call waiting button on the cell phone.

"Hello?... Dad, yes I beeped you. Maureen is coming to Mother's hearing. We're okay." she said directing her attention back to the other phone. "Honeybear, what?... Newts lesbian sister? I'll tell them." she says into the phone. "You heard?" she asks into the cell phone. "They heard. We're Okay." she says into the other phone. "And to you dad." she laughs confused as she juggled two phone calls. Joanne presses the call waiting button and speaks into the phone Maureen is on.

"Oh, Jill is there?" she asked before speaking to Steve again. "Steve, gotta go. Jill with the short black hair? The Calvin Klein model. Steve gotta go. The model who lives in penthouse A? We're... We're okay. I'm on my way." she concluded hanging up all of her phones.

* * *

St. Mark's Place

Five homeless people stood in the lot singing Christmas carols. "Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are ringing on TV at Saks."

"Honest living. Honest living. Honest living. Honest living. Honest Living. Honest Living." a squeege man sung looking on at them wielding a squeegie.

"Can't you spare a dine or two. Here but for the grace of god go you. You'll be merry. I'll be merry. Tho' merry ain't in my vocabulary. No sleighbells. No Santa Clause. No yule log. No tinsel. No holly. No hearth. No..." the five homeless people sung.

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer." a man sang as he walked past the singers.

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no." the five singers started as snow began falling. "And it's beginning to snow."

"Hats, bats, shoes, booze, Mountain bikes, potpourri, leather bags. Girlie mags, forty fives, AZT." A vendor called out as people

"No one's buying. Feel like crying?" another vendor asked looking around.

"No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no. And it's beginning to snow." the carolers sung.

"How about a fur, in perfect shape. Owned by an MBA from uptown. I got a tweed, broken in by a greedy broker who went broke and then broke down." a female vendor asked as Collins and Angel walked through St. Mark's Place.

"You don't have to do this." Collins said as Angel looked through a rack.

"Hush your mouth. It's Christmas." Angel said looking over at him.

"I do not deserve you Angel." he said looking over at him. "Give, give. All you do is give. Give me some way to show how you've touched me so." Collins said as Angel continued to look through the rack.

"Wait, what's on the floor. Let's see some more. No, no, no. Kiss me, it's beginning to snow." Angel said looking at the coats.

Roger and Mark start walking through St. Mark's Place on their way to Maureen's performance. "She said would you light my candle and you put on a pout and she wanted you to take her out tonight?" Mark asked looking up at Roger.

"Right." Roger confirmed looking over at him.

"She got you out!" Mark pointed out looking up at him.

"She was more than okay, but I pushed her away. It was bad, I got mad and I had to get her out of my sight." Roger told him looking away.

"Wait, wait, wait, you said she was sweet." Mark pointed out looking over at him.

"Let's go eat. I'll just get fat. It's the one vice left when you're dead meat." Roger told him before seeing Mimi looking furtively for the drug dealer. "There, that's her." he said swatting Mark's arm.

"Maureen?" he asked looking around for his former flame.

"Mimi." Roger told him.

"Whoa." he smiled catching a glimpse of Mimi,

"I should go." he said staring at Mimi.

"Hey, it's beginning to snow." they both said noticing the falling snow.

As police in riot gear entered St. Mark's Place, they begin to sing Christmas carol's. "I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas."

"Follow the man, follow the man with his pocket's full of the jam. Follow the man, follow the man. Help me out daddy if you can." Mimi thought to herself looking for the drug dealer.

"Hey." Roger said taking Mimi aside.

"Hey." she answered still looking around for the drug dealer.

"I just wanted say... I'm sorry for the way..." he started to apologize when she interrupted him.

"Forget it." she told him as he continued to apologize.

"I blew up. Let me make it up to you." he said looking down at her.

"How?" she asked looking up at him.

"Dinner party?" he suggested beginning to smile.

"That'll do." she smiled as the drug dealer approached them.

"Hey lover boy, cutie pie. You steal my client, you die." the drug dealer threatened looking over at Roger.

"You didn't miss me, you won't miss her. You'll never lack for customers." Roger yelled as he dragged Mimi away. She looked up at him stunned.

"Wish me luck Allison. The protest is on." Benny said into a cell phone as he entered St. Mark's Place.

"Mark, this is Mimi." he smiled introducing the young woman to his roommate.

"Hi." they smlied uncomfortably to one another.

"She'll be dining with us." Roger smiled looking down at Mimi.

"I think we've met." Mark smiled looking down at Mimi.

"That's what he said." she smiled looking up at him.

"Let's go to the lot. Maureen's performance." Roger and Mark smiled looking down at her.

"Who's Maureen?" she asked confused.

"His ex." Roger smiled pointing at Mark.

"But I am over her." Mark insisted as Roger looked at him before they began walking to the performance space.

"Let's... not... hold hands yet." Roger said uncomfortably looking down at Mimi.

"Is that a warning?" she asked looking up at him.

"I just need to take it slow." he said to her. "I should tell you. I should tell you." he thought to himself as the three of them entered the performance space. As they entered the lights black out and a blinding headlight comes through the door. As it reaches downstage the lights come up and reveal Maureen. She smiles at the crowd before leaning in to Joanne.

"Joanne, which way to the stage?" she asks before turning to the stage.

A/N: I know I just updated, but I've had a surge of creativity, so I decided to tackle one of my favorite parts in the play. Christmas Bells. I have always loved it and when I saw it live this past summer, there was so much energy, it reminded me of when I used to live in the city. I'm kind of happy with how it came out. I know We're Okay is a little clumped, but it's just one big conversation that Joanne is having with three people. Topped off with her jealousy over Maureen's flirting. I didn't know any other way to do it. I'm almost done with act one. I hope you're liking it so far. It's gonna get very emotional, very quickly doing act two. Then I have the post Rent stuff. Which I am very anxious to begin publishing because I'm working very hard on it and I'm very happy with how it's coming out.

Renthead621


	20. Chapter 20

The crowd silences as Maureen stands in front of a microphone.

"Last night, I had this dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland. It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty. Out of the abyss walked a cow. Elsie. I asked if she had anything to drink. She said "I'm forbidden to produce milk. In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke." She said. "Only thing to do is jump over the moon. They've closed everything real down, like barns, troughs, perfomance spaces, and replaced it all with lies and rules and vurtual life. But there is a way out." she started before turning to her equiptment and pressing a button.

"Leap of faith, leap of faith. Leap of faith, leap of faith." singing came from the speakers. It was in Maureen's voice.

"Only thing to do is jump over the moon. I gotta get out of here. It's like I"m being tied to the hood of a yellow rental truck, packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse! I've gotta find a way, to jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the moon." she continued as singing came out of the speakers again.

"Leap of faith, leap of faith. Leap of faith, leap of faith." the singing from the speakers sung once again.

"Then a little bulldog entered. His name we have learned was Benny. And though he once had principles, he abandoned them to live as a lapdog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution. 'That's bull." he said. 'Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpy. And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table and eloped... she's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since. Maybe it's a female thing. 'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway? ... Walls ain't so bad. The dish and the spoon for instance. They were down on their luck, knocked on my doghouse door. I said, 'Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China! 'The only way out is up.' Elsie whispered to me. 'A leap of faith. Still thirsty?' she asked. Parched. 'Have some milk.' I lowered myself beneath the swollen udder and sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted." Maureen chanted before making a slurping, sucking sound.

"'Climb on board.' she said. And as the harvest moon rose over Cyberland,. We reared back and sprang into a gallop. Leap out of orbit!" she continued addressing to audience.

"I awoke singing, only thing to do, only thing to do is jump, only thiing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Over the moon. Over the Mooooo. Mooooo. Mooooo. Moo with me." she urged the audience mooing like a cow.

"Come on sir, moo with me." she smiled looking down at her audience. When the moo's reach a crescendo, she cuts them off with a big sweep of her arm beofre bowing to the audience. "Thank you." she smiled as the lights cut off.

* * *

The Life Cafe. Everyone enters the cafe. Benny and Mr. Grey are seated at a smaller table. The restaurant man tries to shoo the bohos out.

"No please, No. Not tonight, please, no. Mister, can't you go. Not tonight, can't have a scene." he complained giving them a hard time.

"What?" Roger asked frustrated.

"Go please. You, ello sir. I said no. Important customer." he told them ushering a well dressed man into the cafe.

"What am I? Just a blur?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"You sit all night. You never buy!" the man complained looking over at him.

"That's a lie. That's a lie. I had a tea the other day." he corrected looking over at him.

"You couldn't pay." he added putting his hand on his hips.

"Oh yeah." Mark smiled looking down at his feet.

"Benjamin Coffin the third, here?" Collins sneered walking over at his former roommate and friend.

"Oh no." the restaurant man exclaimed as everyone entered the cafe.

"Wine and Beer." a crowd of people called out entering the cafe.

"The enemy of Avenue A. We'll stay." Maureen smirked looking over at Benny before everyone sat down at a large table inn the middle of the cafe.

"Oy vey!" the restaurant man complained folding his arms in frustration.

"What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?" Collins asked looking over at Benny and Mr. Grey.

"I would like to propose a toast to Maureen's noble try. It went well." Benny smirked raising his wine glass.

"Go to hell." Maureen snarled looking up at him.

"Was the yuppie scum stomped. Not counting the homeless, how many tickets weren't comped?" he asked sarcastically.

"Why did Muffy...?" Roger began when Benny corrected him.

"Allison."

"Miss the show?" he smiled looking up at him.

"There was a death in the family if you must know." he said looking down at him.

"Who died?" Angel asked non chalantly.

"Our Akita..." Benny told him as Mark, Angel and Collins joined him. "Evita."

"Mimi, I'm surprised. A bright and charming girl like you hangs out with these slackers. Who do't adhere to deals. They make fun, yet I'm the one attempting to do some good. Or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop every night?" he asked circling the table. "Bohemia, bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta. Bohemia is dead." he smirked walking back over to Mr. Grey.

"Dearly Bloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes." Mark sang stalking behind Benny.

"Dies irae – Dies illa. Kyrie Eleison. Yitgadal V'Yitkadash..." Collins and Roger laughed standing up to join hands. Bowing their heads.

"Here she lies. No one knew her worth. The late great daughter of mother earth. On these nights when we celebrate the birth. In that little town of Bethlehem. We raise our glass - you bet your ass to. La vie Boheme." Mark sung as Maureen stood before Benny and Mr Grey and moons them.

"La Vie Boheme. La Vie Boheme. La Vie Boheme. La Vie Boheme." everyone sung along with him.

"To days of inspiration, playing hooky, making somehting out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate. To going against the grain, going insane, going mad. To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hatinug convention, hating pretension. Not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad. To riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes. To Absolut, to choice, the the Village Voice. To any passing fad, to being an us for once, instead of a them." he sung as everyone watched in glee.

"La vie Boheme, La Vie Boheme." they sung smiling up at him as Joanne entered the cafe.

"Is the equiptment in a pyramid?" Maureen asked rushing towards Joanne.

"It is Maureen." she smiled looking over at her.

"The mixer doesn't have a case. Don't give me that face." she said looking over at Joanne who she could see was rolling her eyes at her. With that Maureen smacks Joanne's ass as she exites.

"Ahhemm!" Mr. Grey cleared his throat rather loudly.

"Hey mister. She's my sister." she smiled looking over at him before sitting down.

"So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter and one pasta with meatless balls." the waiter recited walking around the table.

"Ugh." one of the guys at the table anounced as Collins looked over at him.

"It tastes the same." he defended looking over at him.

"If you close your eyes." Mimi joked as everyone laughed.

"And thirteen orders of fries. Is that it here?" the waiter asked looking down at his order pad.

"Wine and beer." everyone yelled as he went off to put the orders in.

"To handcrafterd beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou." Angel and Mimi sang as they climbed up on the table.

"Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation vacation..." Maureen and Collins started when Mark interrupted him.

"Mucho masturbation." he smiled looking over at Benny and Mr. Grey.

"Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new." Collins and Maureen continued looking over at them.

"To Sontag." Collins smiled looking over at Angel.

"To Sondheim." Angel smiled looking up at him.

"To anything taboo." a few people joined in as everyone danced around the cafe.

"Ginsberg, Dylan, cunningham and Cage." Collins and Roger sung.

"Lenny Bruce." Collins said pointing to Roger.

"Langston Hughes." Roger said pointing to Collins.

"To the stage." Maureen chimed in.

"To Uta."

"To Buddha."

"Pablo Neruda, too."

"Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em." Mark and Mimi sung looking over at each other.

"La Vie Boheme." everyone sung as Joanne returned to the cafe.

"And wipe the speakers off before you pack." Maureen said rushing over to her.

"Yes Maureen." Joanne grunted looking over at her.

"Well, hurry back." Maureen said kissing Joanne.

"Sisters?" Mr. Grey asked looking over at them shocked.

"We're close." Maureen smiled looking over at him. At that moment Angel jumps on top of Collins who on the table and they kiss.

"Brothers." Angel, Collins, Maureen, Mark and Mr. Grey say in unison.

"Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens. Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee-wee Herman. German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antonio, Bertolucci, Kurosawa. Carmina Burana." Mark, Angel, Mimi and three other patrons sung.

"To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy. Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC. To no shame, never playing the fame game." everyone sung dancing around the cafe.

"To marijuana." Collins sung smoking a joint.

"To sodomy. It's between God and me. To S & M." everyone sung as Mr. Grey and Benny got up to leave.

"Waiter... waiter... waiter." Benny called out rushing towards the front of the cafe.

"La Vie Boheme." everyone sung.

"In honor of the death of Bhemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner... Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn-chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred." Collins announced as Mimi danced on the table.

"Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days." Roger said before picking up an electric guitar and starting to tune it.

"And Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the 11th Street lot, will sinug Native American tribal chants backward through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied." Mark smiled looking up at Maureen. At this point, Joanne has entered and sees Maureen playfully kiss Mark. Joanne exits. Benny pulls Mimi aside.

"Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?" he asked looking down at her.

"There's nothing to know." she answers looking up at him.

"Don't you think we should discuss...?" he started when she interrupted him.

"It was three months ago." she interrupted looking up at him.

"He doesn't act like he's with you." Benny said looking down at her.

"We're taking it slow." she told him defensively.

"Where is he now?" he asked looking around.

"He's right...Hmmm" she said looking around for Roger.

"Uh- huh." Benny gloated looking down at her.

"Where'd he go?" she asked still looking around.

"Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song." Mark announced looking over at Roger who was holding a guitar and had started playing Musetta's Waltz. "That doesn't remind us of Musetta's Waltz." Mark continued.

"Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the ten gallon plastic pickle-tub." Collins smiled pointing up to Angel who was doing her best impression of a runway model.

"And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist, including the tale of his successful programming of the MIT virtual- reality equipment to self destruct as it broadcast the words..." Angel started as everyone else joined in.

"Actual reality – act up – fight AIDS."

"Check!" Benny called out rushing away from the mob.

"Excuse me – did I do something wrong? I get invited and then ignored all night long." Mimi asked looking up at Roger.

"I've been trying, I'm not lying. No one's perfect. I've got baggage." he said looking down at her.

"Life's too short babe. Time is flying. I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine." she said looking up at him.

"I should tell you..." he started when she interrupted him.

"I've got baggage too." she said looking up at him.

"I should tell you..." he started again when everyone interrupted him.

"Baggage, wine and beer." they shouted as Roger and Mimi directed their attention to them. At that time, several beepers sound. Each turns his or hers off.

"AZT break." Mimi said looking up at Roger, who was taking his pill out.

"You?" he asked holding the pill in his hand.

"Me. You?" she asked before putting her pill in her mouth.

"Mimi." he whispered before holding her hand and staring into her eyes. "I should tell you I'm disaster. I forget how to begin it." he said looking down at her.

"Let's just make this part go faster. I have yet to be in it. I should tell you." he said looking up at him.

"I should tell you." he said looking down at her.

"I should tell you." Mimi smiled looking up at him.

"I should tell you." he said looking down at her.

"I should tell you I blew the candle out just to get back in." she smiled looking up at him.

"I'd forgotten how to smile until your candle burned my skin." he smiled looking down at her.

"I should tell you." she whispered looking down.

"I should tell you." he thought to himself before taking her hand in his.

"I should tell you." she said looking up into his green eyes.

"I should tell you. Well, here we go. Now we." he smiled nervously looking down at her.

"Oh no." she told him looking up.

"I know this something is. Here goes..." he said looking down at her.

"Here goes." she said as they looked nervously at each other.

"Guess so, it's starting to. Who knows." he smiled looking up as it started to snow again.

"Who knows."

"Who knows where, who goes where. Who knows, here goes. Trusting desire starting to learn. Walking through fire without a burn. Coinging a shoulder, a leap begins. Stinging and older, asleep on pins. So here we go. Now we..." they both said as Roger squeezed Mimi's hand.

"Oh no." he said looking oiver at her.

"I know." she told him reassuringly.

"Oh no."

"Who knows where, who goes there. Here goes, here goes. Here goes, here goes. Here goes, here goes."

Roger and Mimi exit and Joanne reenters, obviously pissed.

"Are we packed?" Maureen asked rushing over to her.

"Yes and by next week. I want you to be." she told her angrily.

"Pookie?" Maureen asked confused.

"And you should see. They've padlocked your building and they're rioting on Avenue B. Benny called the cops." Joanne said directing her attention to everyone else.

"That fuck." Maureen said putting her hands on her hips.

"They don't know what they're doing. The cops are sweeping the lot. But no one's leaving. Th're sitting there mooing!" Joanne smiled looking around the cafe.

"Yea!!" everyone cheered. "To dance."

"No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection. Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders." a young woman chanted jumping up onto a table.

"Film" everyone yelled out.

"Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations. Darkrooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze." Mark sang joining her on the table.

"Music." everyone yelled.

"Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation, rhythm. Power, feeling, harmony and heavy competition." Angel called out dancing with everyone else.

"Anarchy." everyone cheered.

"Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions. Forcing changes, risk and danger, making noise and making pleas." Maureen and Collins called out dancing with one another.

"To faggots, lezzies, dykes, crossdressers too." everyone yelled dancing around the cafe.

"To me." Maureen yelled dancing around the cafe.

"To me." Mark called out pointing to himself.

"To me." Collins and Angel called out holding one another.

"To you and you and you, you and you. To people living with, living with, living with. Not dying from disease. Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn. La Vie Boheme. La Vie Boheme. La Vie Boheme." everyone chanted.

"Anyone out of the mainstream. Is anyone in the mainstream. Anyone alive with a sex drive, tesr down the walls. Aren't we all? The opposite of war isn't peace. It's creation." Mark preached looking around.

"La Vie Boheme." everyone called out.

"The riot continues. The Christmas tree goes in frames. The snow dances. Oblivious, Mimi and Roger, share a small, lovely kiss." Mark smiled peaking out the window of the Life Cafe.

"Viva la Vie Boheme." everyone calls out before jumping off of the tables and sitting down.

A/N: Well, that's the end of Act One. I know it's taking me just about as long as it took Jonathan to write this over, but it is really hard to get this all re written to sound logical and realistic. Plus on top of that, I just moved and I'm working a lot, so that's taking a lot out of me. But I'm not giving up on this, I promise. My mom saw Rent for the first time on FX a couple of weeks ago and she complained the same thing my brother did when his girlfriend made him watch it. That there was too much damn singing. I told them that it's a musical and that there is supposed to be singing, duh. But my mother pointed out that Grease was a musical also and there was a lot more dialogue in that than there was in Rent. And although I find Rent perfect the way it is. The play. The movie had it's flaws, which every Renthead out there can agree on, I know how difficult Stephen Chbosky had it writing the screenplay that was to become the movie version of this Broadway icon. I'm gonna start on Act Two now and I promise that it is gonna be shorter then Act One and I'm gonna narrow stuff down. I don't want to have a bunch of tear jerker chapters that we already know about. I'm also very, very, very excited about posting the Post Rent stuff I've written. I have quite a few chapters written and they are very long. I'm attempting to cut them down and break them up, but it's hard to. In my opinion, it's some of my best stuff yet. But that's just me. Thanks again for sticking with me through this.

Renthead621


	21. Chapter 21

New Year's Eve. The scene opens on the street outside the apartment. Roger, Mimi and Mark are standing outside the building. There is a padlock on the door, which Roger and Mimi try to open to no avail.

"How long til next year?" Mimi asks looking up at Roger.

"Three and a half minutes." he answers looking down at his watch as he walks away from the door.

"I'm giving up my vices and going back to school." she tells him sitting on the stoop of the building. "Eviction or not, this week's been so hot. That long as I've got you, I know I'll be cool. I couldn't crack the love code, dear til you made the lock on my heart explode. It's gonna be a happy new year." she smiled looking up at him before taking a swig from a bottle of champagne.

"Coast is clear. You're supposed to be working. That's for midnight. Where are they? There isn't much time." Mark ranted taking the bottle of champagne away from Mimi before looking up and down the block for Maureen, Joanne, Collins and Angel.

"Maybe they're dressing. I mean, what does one wear that;s apropos for a party that's also a crime?" Mimi asked looking up at him as Roger wrapped his arms around her.

"Chips anyone?" Maureen asked as she waltzed down the street. She was wearing a skin tight cat burglar suit and a bag of chips.

"You can take the girl out of Hicksville, but you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl." Mark laughed looking over at her.

"My riot got you on TV. I deserve a royalty." she said digging into the bag for a chip.

"Be nice you two. Or no God awful champagne." Mimi warned taking the bottle back from Mark.

"Don't mind if I do. No luck?" she asked holding a cellular phone.

"Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain. A total dead end." Roger answered looking over at the door.

"Just like my ex girlfriend.Honey...? I know you're there... Please pick up the phone. Are you OK? It's not funny, it's not fair. How can I atone? Are you OK? I lose control. But I can learn to behave. Give me one more chance. Let me be your slave. I'll kiss your Doc Martens. Let me kiss your Doc Martens. Your every wish I will obey." she pleaded into the phone as Roger, Mark and Mimi watched amused.

"That might be OK. Down girl. Heel... stay. I did a bit of research with my friends at legal aid. Technically your squatters. Therw's hope. But just in case..." she started before taking a bunch of rope out from behind her back.

"Rope." she and Mark smiled looking down at the rope.

"We can hoist a line..." Mark started when Joanne interrupted him.

"To the fire escape." she said looking up at the fire escape.

"And tie off at..." he said as she cut in.

"That bench." they said in unison.

"I can't take them as chums." Maureen compained looking over at Mark and Joanne.

"Start hoisting wench." Joanne smirked tossing the rope to Maureen. As she, Mark and Joanne attempt to throw the length of the rope over a plank, Roger and Mimi laugh holding each other.

"I think I should be laughing, yet I forget... forget how to begin. I'm feeling something inside and yet I still can't decide if I should hide or make a wide open grin, last week I wanted just to disappear. My life was dust but now it just may be a happy new year." Roger smiled looking down at Mimi as Collins and Angel walked up the block.

"Bond. James Bond." Collins smiled looking over at them with his arm slung over Angel's shoulder.

And Pussy Galore. In person." Angel smiled dressed to the nines in a blond wig, a coat made out of a shower curtain, complete with rings hanging from the bottoms and hi heeled knee high boots. She was carrying a small blow torch.

"Pussy, you came prepared." Mimi smiled looking over at Angel.

"I was a Boy Scout once. And a Brownie. But some brat got scared." Angel announced to everyone's amusement.

"Aha! Moneypenny, my martini." Collins smiled reaching out for the champagne bottle from Mimi.

"Will bad champagne do?" she asked handing it to him.

"That's shake, not stirred." Roger laughed in his worst English accent.

"Pussy, the bolts." Collins smiled before taking a long swig from the champagne bottle looking over at Angel as he grabbed the blowtorch.

"Just say the word." she smiled turning the blowtorch on.

"Two minutes left to execute our plan." Mimi smiled looking at Roger's watch.

"Where's everyone else?" Collins asked looking down at the tiny latina woman.

"Playing Spiderman." Roger answered pointing to Mark, Joanne and Maureen who were attempting to gain access into the loft.

"Ironic close-up, tight on the phone machine's red light. Once the Boho boys are gone, the power mysteriously comes on." Mark smiled looking over at the answering machine upon gaining access to the loft.

Mark pressed play and listened to the messages that were on the machine. One was from his mother wishing him and Happy New Year and the other was from an Alexi Darling of the television news show Buzzline. She left her numbers and her email address.

"I think we need an agent!" Maureen called out as she and Joanne entered the loft.

"We?" Mark asked looking over at her confused.

"That's selling out." Joanne said with her hands on her hips.

"But it's nice to dream." Mark said walking away from the answering machine.

"Yeah, it's network tv. And it's all thanks to me." Maureen boasted looking over at them.

"Somehow I think I smell the whiff of a scheme." Mark said looking at Joanne as she nodded.

"Me too." Joanne said looking over at him.

"We can plan another protest." Maureen said looking over at them.

"We?!" Joanne smirked looking over at Mark.

"This time you can shoot from the start." she said looking over at Mark. "You'll direct." she smiled looking over at Joanne. "Starring me." she smiled pointing at herself.

Back downstairs, Roger, Mimi, Collins and Angel counted down to midnight. "5, 4, 3... open sesame. Happy New Year." they called out welcoming in the new year. The door opens with Mark, Joanne and Maureen standing on the other side.

"Happy New Year!" they called out looking down at the others.

"I see you've beaten me to the punch." Benny said coming around the block.

"How did you know we'd be here?" Roger asked looking over at him as Mimi stood behind him.

"I had a hunch." he smiled looking over at the others.

"You're not mad?" Mark asked looking over at Benny.

"I'm here to put an end to this war. It's a shame you went and destroyed the door." he said noticing the door.

"Why all of a sudden the big about face?" Mimi asked stepping out from behind Roger.

"The credit is yours. You made a good case." he said looking over at her.

"What case?" Roger asked looking down at Mimi, hurt.

"Mimi came to see me. And she had much to say." Benny taunted noticing Roger's reaction.

"That's not how you put it all yesterday." Mimi argued stepping towards Benny.

"I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess. Mark, you might want to get this on film." Benny smiled looking over at Mark as he got his camera out of his bag.

"I guess." he said winding his camera and pointing it at Benny.

"I regret the unlucky circumstances of the past seven days." Benny started as Roger interrupted him.

"Circumstance? You padlocked our door." he argued obviously angry at his former friend.

"And it's with great pleasure on behalf of Cyberarts that I hand you this key." Benny said handing Roger the key.

"Golf claps." Angel smiled sarcastically as he lightly clapped his hands.

"I had no juice in my battery." Mark announces looking down at his camera.

"Reshoot." Benny calls out fixing his tie.

"I see, this is a photo opportunity." Roger snarled at him before looking down at Mimi who was clearly uncomfortable.

"The benevolent God ushers the poor artists back to their flat. Were you planning to take down the barbed wire from the lot too?" Maureen asked looking over at him.

"Anything but that!" Roger answered glaring at Benny.

"Clearing the lot was a safety concern. We break ground this month. But you can return." he smiled looking over at her.

"That's why you're here with people you hate instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate." Maureen asked sarcastically.

"I'd honestly rather be with you tonight, then in Westport." he said looking over at them.

"Spare us, old sporet, the soundbyte." Roger snapped walking away.

"Mimi, since your ways were so seductive." he started when Mimi cut him off.

"You came on to me!" she argued defensively.

"Persuade him not to be counterproductive." he requested pointing at Roger.

"Liar!" he yelled at Benny.

"Why not tell them what you wore to my place?" he suggested looking down at Mimi.

"I was on my way to work." Mimi defended looking up at Roger, who was clearly upset.

"Black leather and lace!" Benny announced looking over at Mimi. "My desk was a mess. I think I'm still sore." he continued to taunt.

"'Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore." she yelled.

"Does your boyfriend know who your last boyfriend was?" he asked looking down at Mimi.

"I'm not her boyfriend. I don't care what she does." Roger yelled clearly hurting Mimi.

"People! Is this any way to start a new year? Have compassion. Benny just lost his cat." Angel intervened trying to calm the situation.

"My dog, but I appreciate that." Benny said looking over at Angel.

"My cat had a fall and I went through hell." Angel said looking over at Benny.

"It's like losing a... how did you know she fell?" he asked confused looking over at Angel.

"Champagne?" Collins offered handing a glass to Benny, taking the heat off of Angel.

"Don't mind if I do. To dogs." he toasted as the others rolled their eyes.

"No Benny to you." they said raising their own glasses.

"Let's make resolution." Angel suggested.

"I'll drink to that." Mimi agreed bitterly before downing her glass of champagne.

"Let's always stay friends." Collins offered looking around at his friends.

"Tho' we may have our disputes." Joanne said looking over at Mimi and Roger.

"This family tree's got deep roots." Maureen said looking over at Joanne.

"Friendship is thicker than blood." Mark said looking over at Roger.

"That depends." Roger snapped looking down at Mimi.

"Depends on trust." Mimi said looking up at Roger.

"Depends on true devotion." Roger countered looking down at her.

"Depends on love." Joanne said wrapping her arms around Maureen.

"Depends on not denying emotion." Mark said looking up at Roger.

"Perhaps." he reluctantly agreed.

"It's gonna be a happy new year." everyone smiled looking around at one another.

"I guess." Roger agreed.

"It's gonna be a happy new year." everyone repeated.

"You're right." Roger said smiling down at Mimi.

"It's gonna be a happy new year." Angel said bringing Roger and Mimi together.

"I'm sorry." they said in unison.

"Coming?" he asked as everyone started inside the building.

"In a minute." she said as he gave her a look. "I'm fine. Go." she said wrapping her arm around his waist. Roger leans down and kisses Mimi before going into the building. She walks around the block where the friendly neighborhood drug dealer is waiting.

A/N: OK, I know I've been gone a while and I should be brought out and shot for leaving this story so long. I'm hoping to get the Rent chapters done by the end of the week, so I can start posting my many chapters of the post Rent that I have. I've been really busy with work and I've been really tired from that. A lot's been going on and I'm sorry for neglecting this. I really am. But I'm all alone this week, since my daughter is in Florida with her grandmother, aunt and cousins, so I have plenty of time to myself. I hope this chapter has me forgiven for now. Hope you like it.

Renthead621


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I'm skipping over TMOLM because to me it's kind of awkward being put in the middle of everything. I decided to sum that up and go right to I'll Cover You Reprise. There was no way I could skip that. I also decided to skip Contact. The whole context of that song does not translate well into dialogue. I'm gonna take what makes sense from that song and move onto what I need for Angel's death. As I've said before, I am trying to move this along so I can get to the good stuff. I hope no one minds. If so, I'm sorry but everyone knows what happened in Rent, so it makes no sense to hash up anymore than I need to. Or to mess up anymore than I already have. LOL I'm feeilng uncomfortably with re writing Rent, but I wanted to make an epic story so I had no choice but to do with it.

Renthead621

Valentine's Day. Roger's been down at Mimi's apartment for the most of the last 2 months. Although he keeps talking about selling his guitar and heading out of town. He's still jealous of Benny. God knows where Collins and Angel are. Could be that new shantytown near the river or a suite at the Plaza. Maureen and Joanne have been fighting on and off. This week, they're on. Joanne is sick of Maureen's constant flirting and Maureen is sick of Joanne's control issues. They break up for the umpteenth time this year. Mark has been getting calls from Alexi Darling from the television news show Buzzline.

Meanwhile, in Mimi's apartment. Roger sits on the bed waiting for Mimi to come home. When she finally arrives home, she is in a rush.

"Where were you?" he asked clearly angry.

"I'm sorry, I'm late..." she started before Roger interrupted her.

"I know. You lost your keys. No, you went for a walk, you had to help your mother." he yelled as he picked up his guitar. "And how's Benny? I'm gonna work upstairs tonight." he told her as he started to leave the apartment.

"Wait..." she started as he stopped just short of the door. "Nevermind." she whispered looking away from him.

"Happy spring." he spat before walking out the door. As the door shuts behind him, Mimi pulls out a just purchased stash and angrily flings it across the room before plopping on the bed and burying her face in her hands. Meanwhile Collins is taking care of an ailing Angel.

* * *

October

In a church. Angel's memorial is taking place. Everyone is gathered. Roger and Mark are sitting with Collins. Maureen is behind them, across the aisle from Joanne who is silently sobbing in the back row. Mimi is sitting opposite Roger with Benny. The memorial is beginning as Mimi stands up and approaches the podium.

"Angel was one of my closest friens. It's right that is's Halloween, because it was her favorite holiday. I knew we'd hit it off the moment we met. That skinhead was bothering her and she said she was more of a man then he'd ever be and more of a woman that he's ever get..." she said before breaking down, unable to finish her eulogy.

"And then there was the time he walked up to this group of tourists. And they were petrified because, A, they were obviously lost and B, had probably never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives... and he... she just offered to escort them out of Alphabet City... And then she let them take a picture with her... and then she said she'd help them find the Circle Line." Mark said standing up and addressing the mourners. As he sat down, Maureen stood up to say a few words.

"So much more original then any of us. You'd find an old table cloth on the street and make a dress, and next year, sure enough they'd be mass producing them at the Gap!" Maureen smiled briefly walking up to Angel's coffin as if she was speaking to the drag queen herself. "You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends, but it was us baby, who were the lucky ones." she said quietly caressing the coffin before sitting down silently.

"Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. Be my lover, and I'll cover you. Open your door, I'll be your tenant. Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet. But sweet kisses I've got to spare. I'll be there, I'll cover you. I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it. A new lease you were my love, on life. All my life, I've longed to discover something as true as this is." he whispered looking down at his lover's coffin. Reciting words they exchanged when they first started dating. The other mourners observed his grief, their hearts breaking with his.

Outside the church. Mark is standing at the pay phone talking to Alexi Darling's office regarding his appointment.

"Hi, it's Mark Cohen. Is Alexi there?... No, don't bother her. Just tell her I'm running a little late for our appointment... Yes, I'm still coming... Yes, I signed the contract...?" he hangs up the phone and walks away reflecting on his life and what brought him to this point. "How did we get here?" he asked himself looking up at the church. "How the hell... pan left, close on the steeple of the church." he said looking away to cover his tears. "How did I get here? How the hell... Christmas. Christmas Eve last year. How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot? How can a morning this mild be so raw? Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memory. When single frames from one magic night forever flicher in close up. On the 3D Imax of my mind. That's poetic. That's pathetic. Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door? And Collins choose that phone booth back where Angel sets up his drums? Why did Maureen's equiptment break down? Why am I the witness? And when I capture it on film, whill it mean that it's the end, and I'm alone." he wondered to himself pacing back and forth in front of the church.

In the mean time, everyone emerges somberly from the church.

"It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?" Mimi asked looking over at Roger as she walked with Benny.

"It's true. I'm leaving now for Santa Fe. It's true you're with this yuppy scum?" he asked bitterly looking over at Benny.

"You said you'd never speak to him again." Benny said holding Mimi's arm.

"Not now." Mimi said looking up at Benny.

Who said that you havec any say in who she says things to at all?" Maureen interrupted looking over at Benny.

"Yeah!" Roger said looking over at Benny angry and hurt.

"Who said that you should stick your nose in other people's..." Joanne started when Maureen cut in.

"Who said I was talking to you?" she yelled looking over at Joanne.

"We used to have this fight each night." Joanne said looking over at Maureen.

"Calm down." Mark said trying to calm the situation down.

"She'd never admit I existed." she said looking over at Mark.

"Everyone please." Mark said walking in between Roger and Maureen and Benny, Mimi and Joanne.

"He was the same way." Mimi said looking over at Roger.

"Mimi." Benny said taking her arm.

"He was always run away, hit the road. Don't commit. You're full of shit." she yelled walking closer to Roger pushing him back roughly.

"She's in denial." Joanne said pointing at Maureen.

"He's in denial." Mimi said accusing Roger.

"Didn't give an inch when I gave a mile." Joane continued as Mark raised his arm.

"Come on."

"I gave a mile." Mimi said as Roger quickly interrupted her.

"Gave a mile to who?" he asked looking over at Mimi.

"Come on guys. Chill." Mark and Benny said in unison.

"I'd be happy to die for a tast of what Angel had. Someone to live for. Unafraid to say I love you." Mimi and Joanne said together.

"All your words are nice Mimi. But love's not a three-way street. You'll never share real love until you love yourself. I should know." Roger yelled as Collins came rushing over to the group from inside the church.

"You all said you'd be cool today. So please for my sake... I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe you're going. I can't believe this family must die. Angel helped us believe in love. I can't believe you disagree." he yelled pushing Roger back before addressing the others.

"I can't believe this is goodbye." everyone said as they looked around at one another. Maureen and Joanne reconcile. Collins returns to the church. Mimi and Benny begin to leave together and Roger and Mark are left alone. Maureen and Joanne kiss and exit. The Pastor from the church emerges.

"Thomas B. Collins?" he calls out.

"Coming." Collins answered walking towards him. The Pastor exits, Collins follows. Benny stans off to the side as Mimi approaches Roger, who turns away. She hesitates before leaving with Benny.

A/N: OK, I know it's very incomplete, but I wanted to make this as realistic and put together as possible under the circumstances. The next chapter should be the end of the Rent chapters and I can begin posting the Post Rent ones, which are very complete and very long. I'm working on editing and making it a bit easier to read. I'm off tomorrow and half of friday, so I'll have plenty of time to devote to this. See you later.

Renthead621


	23. Chapter 23

"I hear there are great restaurants out West." Mark said standing by Roger's car around the corner from the church.

"Some of the best. How could she?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"How could you let her go?" Mark asked looking up at Roger.

"You just don't know... how could we lose Angel?" he asked leaning on the car.

"Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain. At least now if you try... Angel's death won't be in vain." he said looking down at his feet.

"His death is in vain." Roger retorted looking over at him.

"Are you insane? There's so much to care about. There's me, there's Mimi." he asked looking over at him.

"Mimi's got her baggage too." he said shoving his hands in his jeans pocket.

"So do you." Mark yelled looking over at him.

"Who are you to tell me what I know? What to do?" he asked standing up straighter.

"A friend." he answered.

"But who Mark are you? Mark has got his work. They say Mark lives for his work. And Mark's in love with his work. Mark hides in his work." Roger accused looking down at him.

"From what?" Mark asked looking up at him confused.

"Facing your failure. Facing your loneliness. Facing the fact you live lie. Yes you live a lie. Tell you why. You're always preaching not to be numb. When that's how you thrive. You pretent to creat and observe when you really detach from feeling alive." Roger said reaching out for Mark's jacket to prevent him from walking away.

"Perhaps, it's because I'm the one of us to survive." Mark yelled swatting his hand away.

"Poor baby." Roger spat.

"Mimi still loves Roger. Is Roger really jealous, or afraid that Mimi's weak?" he asked looking over at him.

"Mimi did look pale." Roger agreed.

"Mim's gotten thin. Mimi's running out of time. Roger's running out the door." Mark argued.

"No more! Oh no! I gotta go." he said.

"Hey, for somebody who's always been let down. Who's heading out of town?" Mark retorted looking over at him.

"For someone who longs for a community of his own. Who's with his camera, alone?" Roger said stepping closer to the car then stopping. "I'll call. I hate the fall." he said before turning around and seeing Mimi. "You heard?" he said looking over at Mimi.

"Every word." she said stepping towards him. "You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees. You don't want to watch me die. I just came to say, goodbye love." she said looking up at him. Roger gets in his car and Benny returns. Mimi steps away from him. "Please don't touch me, understand I'm scared. I need to go away." she said starting to leave.

"I know a place. A clinic." Mark said looking over at her.

"A rehab?" Benny asked looking over at him.

"Maybe... could you?" Mimi asked looking back at him.

"I'll pay." Benny agreed looking over at her.

"Goodbye love. Hello disease." she whispered before running off. After a moment Collins quickly approaches them. The Pastor trailing behind him.

"Off the premises now. We don't give hand outs here!" the Pastor yelled looking over at Collins.

"What happened to rest in peace?" he asked looking over at the Pastor.

"Off the premises, queer!" he repeated looking over at them before he starts to leave.

"That's no way to send a boy to meet his maker. They had to know we couldn't pay the undertaker." Collins said looking over at the Pastor.

"Don't you worry 'bout him. Hey, I'll take care of it." Benny said looking over at the Pastor. The Pastor obviously heard what Benny said before walking away.

"Must be nice to have money." Mark said looking over at Benny.

"No shit." the three of them smiled looking at one another.

"I think it's only fair to tell you, you just paid for the funeral of the person who killed your dog." Collins smiled looking over at him.

"I know. I always hated that dog. Let's pay him off and then get drunk." he suggested looking over at Collins and Mark.

"I can't. I have a meeting." Mark answered.

"Punk. Let's go." Benny and Collins said looking down at him before leaving.

* * *

In Santa Fe, Roger is unhappy. He's lonely and still thinking about Mimi and how sick she looked before he left. He sat in a little coffee shop pen in hand jotting down lyrics to his song. Pictures of Mimi flash in his mind and it comes together. His song is Mimi. He just couldn't see it before. He pays for his coffee before leaving and getting into his car. He drives until he's on his way back to New York. Meanwhile, Mark is himself unhappy. He takes the job at Buzz line and imagines himself selling his soul.

Roger returns to the loft and it appears empty, but he hears Mark in his room editing furiously. He goes downstairs to Mimi's apartment, which appears unvacated.

* * *

Christmas Eve

Roger and Mark are sitting in the loft. A small projector is set up on a milk crate, which is on a dolly.

"December 24th 10 pm. Eastern Standard time. I can't believe a year went by so fast. Time to see what we have time to see. Turn the projector on." Mark says to himself playing with the projector. A rough title credit."Today 4 U: Proof Positive," appears, followed by a shot from last Christmas of Roger tuning his guitar. "First shot Roger. With the Fender guitar he just got out of hock. When he sold the car that took him away and back." he said looking over at Roger who was sitting in the corner of the cluttered couch. Blankets and film reels stewn everywhere.

"I found my song." Roger said looking up at him.

"He found his song. If he could just find Mimi." Mark said looking over at him.

"I tried. You know I tried." Roger said looking defeated. Mark's image appears on the screen.

"Fade in on Mark. Who's still in the dark." Mark said looking up at the screen.

"But he's got great footage." Roger told him pointing to the screen.

"Which he's cut together." Mark said before Roger cut him off.

"To screen tonight." he smiled looking up at the screen. Benny's image appears on the screen.

"In honor of Benny's wife."

"Muffy." Roger said looking up at the screen.

"Alison. Pulling Benny out of the East Village location." Mark said as the power blows.

"Then again. Maybe we won't screen it tonight." Roger said looking around.

"I wonder how Alison found out about Mimi?" Mark asked looking over at Roger.

"Maybe a little bird told her." Roger smirked looking over at Mark.

"Or an Angel." Collins smiled standing in the loft clutching twenty dollar bills in each hand. "I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow."

"Tutoring again?" Roger asked looking over at him.

"Negative." Collins said shaking his head.

"Back at NYU?" Mark asked.

"No, no, no. I rewired the ATM at the Food Emporium to provide an honorarium to anyone with the code." he smiled handing out the twenties.

"The code. Well...?" Roger and Mark asked looking over at him.

"A N G E L. Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution. The powers that be must be undermined where they well. In a small, exclusive gourmet institution where we overcharge the wealthy clientele." he smiled looking over at them.

"Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. With a private corner banquette, in the back. We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe." they all sung remembering the previous year.

"But you'd miss New York before you could unpack." Roger said looking over at him.Before anyone could say anything, they heard Maureen shouting for them from the street.

"Mark! Roger! Anyone, help!"

"Maureen?" Mark said looking out the window.

"It's Mimi. I can't get her up the stairs." she yelled looking up at them.

"No!" Roger shrieked seeing Mimi limp in Joanne's arms. They rushed downstairs to help get Mimi inside.

"She was huddled in the park, in the dark. And she was freezing. And begged to come here." Maureen said as they carried her into the loft.

"Over here. Oh God." Roger said leading them to the table.

"Got a light? I know you, you're shivering..." Mimi muttered looking over at Roger.

"She's been living on the street." Joanne said looking on.

"We need some heat." Roger said looking over at Collins and Mark.

"I'm shivering." Mimi said looking over at Roger.

"We can buy some wood and something to eat." Mark said looking over at Roger.

"I'm afraid she needs more than heat." Collins told them quietly standing by the phone.

"I heard that." Mimi said looking over at Collins.

"Collins will call for a doctor, honey." Maureen said leaning over to speak to Mimi.

"Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me." Mimi told them losing consciousness.

"Hello... 911? I'm on hold." Collins called out frustrated.

"Cold... cold... would you light me candle?" Mimi chattered looking over at Roger who was holding her hand.

"Yes, we'll... Oh God... find a candle." Roger pleaded looking over at Mark.

"I should tell you... I should tell you." Mimi said looking over at Roger.

"I should tell you... I should tell you." Roger repeated looking over at her.

"I should tell you... Benny wasn't any..." she tried to explain obviously weak.

"Shhh... I know. I should tell you why I left. It wasn't 'cause I didn't..." he confessed looking into her brown eyes.

"I know. I should tell you." she smiled weakly looking over at him.

"I should tell you.." he started as she interrupted him.

"I should tell you. I love you." she whispered closing her eyes.

"Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone with my guitar? Hold on there's something you should hear. It isn't much but it took all year." he choked grabbing his guitar as Mimi began to stir.

_Your eyes_

_As we said our goodbyes_

_Can't get them out of my mind_

_And I find I can't hide_

_From your eyes_

_The ones that took me by surprise_

_The night you came into my life_

_Where there's moonlight_

_I see your eyes_

_How'd I let you slip away_

_When I'm longing so to hold you_

_Now I'd die for one more day_

_'Cause there's something I should have told you_

_Yes there's something I should have told you_

_When I looked into your eyes_

_Why does distance make us wise?_

_You were the song all along_

_And before the song dies_

_I should tell you I should tell you_

_I have always loved you_

_You can see it in my eyes_

With this, Mimi's head falls to the side and her arm drops limply off the edge of the table.

"Mimi!" Roger wailed taking her into his arms one last time before laying her down gently on the table.

Suddenly, Mimi's hand twitches. Incredibly she is still alive. "I jumped over the moon!" she calls out coming to.

"What?" Roger asked confused.

"A leap of... Moooooooooo"

"She's back." Joanne calls out happily.

"I was in a tunnel. Heading for this warm white light..." she said as everyone smiled.

"Oh, my God!" Maureen laughed looking over at her.

"And I swear Angel was there... and she looked good. And she said, turn around girlfriend... and listen to that boy's song..." she smiled looking over at Collins.

"She's drenched." he said feeling her head.

"Her fever's breaking." Maureen said looking over at her.

"There is no future. There is no past." Mark smiled looking over at them.

"Thank God this moment's not the last." Roger smiled taking Mimi into his arms.

"There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret or life is yours to miss." Roger and Mimi smiled looking into each other's eyes.

"No other road, no other way. No day but today." they all smiled looking around at one another as the power comes back on and Mark's film resumes.

The End of Rent

A/N: Finally, I'm done. I am so excited right now. It was tough and I now have a new relationship with the late, great Jonathan Larson. It's love hate as well as respect and admiration. I do not recommend anyone try to do this. It's extremely exhausting, not only physically, but emotionally and intellectually as well. I hope you all enjoyed this different look into Rent. Now the real fun starts. Post Rent. Have fun.

Renthead621


	24. Chapter 24

6 months Post Rent finally. I have been waiting since February to unveil these chapters. I hope you like them.

Renthead621

It's June 1997, Mimi has been clean for the last 6 months. Ever since Maureen and Joanne found her in the park close to death. Roger's been taking care of her and letting her sleep in his room while he slept in Benny's old room.

After withdrawal, Mimi started going to Narcotics Anonymous meeting and working her steps. Making ammends is part of the program. She apologized to Roger and the other bohos for all of the bad decisions she has made. Calling Allison to make amends with her for sleeping with Benny was inevitable. Mimi thought it was best to meet on neutral ground. The Life Cafe.

"Thanks for meeting me Allison." Mimi smiled as Allison entered the Life Cafe.

"Well you said it was important." she smiled sitting down in the chair across from Mimi.

"I um... I've been going to NA and I'm on the step where I have to make ammends to the people I hurt. And aside from Roger, you're the one I hurt the most. So, here I am. Um... that thing with Benny. At first I didn't know he was married. But when I found out, I should have ended it." she said looking over at her.

"Mimi, I have to say, I wanted to hate you for a long time. I tried to, but the fact of the matter is, Benny was the one who was married, not you. I can't blame you." she said looking over at her.

"Yeah, but I should have ended it when I found out, but I didn't. I believed everything that Benny told me about you." she said looking over at her.

"Mimi, it's OK. I know how Benny could be." she said looking down at the table.

"Please tell me he wasn't always like that." she said looking over at her.

"He wasn't, you know? He used to be so different. But things changed. I mean, after the wedding he got with my father and he changed. Roger and everyone didn't like who he was becoming so we stopped hanging out with them." she said looking over at her.

"Roger told me that you paid for his rehab and helped get him clean." she smiled looking over at her.

"I love him Mimi. I always will. He was one of my best friends once upon a time. But after April lost their son, it became really hard on them. They secluded themselves from all of us, then April killed herself. When he found her, he wanted to die too. I couldn't stand to see my friend like that. I had to do something." she said looking over at her.

"They had a son? Um... I didn't know that. He doesn't like to talk about it." she said looking over at her.

"Yeah. They wanted to name him Erik, with a K after April. It's um... it _was_ her last name, Erikson. It was a really tough time for the two of them. And all of us." she told her before looking down at the table.

"Thank you for helping him." she smiled.

"And now he's helping you." she smiled reaching out for her hand.

"Yeah, he is." she said looking down.

"What's wrong Mimi?" Allison asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, I mean he's using up all of his time to take care of me and I feel like I'm keeping him from living his own life." she said looking over at her.

"I know I don't have the right to ask you this, but do you love him? I mean really love him." she asked looking over at her.

"Yes, I do." Mimi whispered giving her a faint smile.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked looking over at her.

"Let him go. It's the only way he's gonna be able to get back on stage again. He's gonna die too soon too. He should be able to fulfill his dreams." she said looking into her blue eyes.

"It's not gonna be easy, you do realize that, right?" Allison told her leaning forward on the table.

"Yeah I know. But I love him Allison. I can't hold him back from doing what he wants to do. What he was meant to do." she told her looking down at the table.

"That's very brave of you Mimi, but what are _you_ gonna do?" she asked looking over at her.

"Well now that I'm clean, I want to maybe go back to school and do something with my life. I can't be a stripper forever." she said looking over at her.

"Good for you sweetie. You've really come a long way, haven't you?" she smiled looking at her new friend.

"Yeah, I think I have. I owe it all to Roger. He had faith in me when I lost it in myself." she said looking over at her.

"He's quite a guy, isn't he?" she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, he really is." she smiled as the women ordered coffee and continued to talk.

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask." she smiled looking over at her.

"No. I think I need to do it on my own. But I appreciate the offer." she smiled looking over at her.

* * *

A few days later, Mimi was standing in the doorway of Roger's room watching him. He was lounging on the couch in the loft strumming his guitar. Ever since the song he wrote for Mimi, he hadn't been able to write another one. She watched him strum a couple of notes before sweeping his over grown hair out of his face, only to go back to strumming a couple of more notes. He was starting to get frustrated. She took a deep breath before coming out of his bedroom. "Roger, can we talk?"

"Sure. What's up?" he asked looking over at her setting his guitar to the side of the couch.

"Um... I um... I called Allison, you know, because I was working my steps and I couldn't avoid that one forever." she said looking up at him.

"What did she say?" he asked quietly turning to her.

"She was really great about it. I thought she would hate me for everything, but she didn't. She doesn't blame me for anything that happened with Benny. She's a great lady. Um... she really misses you guys. She misses you." she said looking up at him.

"I miss her too. She believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself." he said looking down at the floor.

"Um… Roger, I've been thinking. I wanna move back into my own place. Allie said she would run interference with Benny and her dad." she said looking up at him.

"What do you mean move back into your own place? Where is all this coming from?" he asked looking over at her.

"I was thinking that we need to get on with our lives Roger. You know that as well as I do." she said getting up from the couch.

"Wait a minute. What are you talking about? What do you mean get on with our lives? I thought this was our life. You and me. We're in this together." Roger said looking into Mimi's brown eyes.

"No Roger, it's not. This is no life for you. And it's no life for me either. I'm giving you your life back. I hate that I'm taking over your room, your life..." she said looking over at him.

"So, I'll move back into my room with you. I was only sleeping in there so you could be more comfortable. Get your rest." he interrupted looking over at her.

"Listen Roger, I'm trying to do the noble thing for once. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be, OK?" she said looking up at him.

"Mimi... I don't... I don't understand..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Roger, you know as well as I do that we're better off friends. And I'm OK with that. Do you think I like seeing you the way you are? You've been taking care of me for so long that you forgot how to take care of yourself." she said looking up at him.

"Mimi, I don't understand what you're talking about. I love you." he said taking her face in his hands.

"I love you too Roger, but we both know it hasn't been the kind of love we both deserve for a while. You need to get out there and find your glory again. And you can't do that strapped to me." she said taking his hands off of her face.

"I don't look at it as being strapped to you Mimi. I want to take care of you." he told her dropping his hands into his lap.

"But you don't have to anymore Roger. I'm fine. You helped me so much and I feel like I have to help you now so I'm letting you go." she said smiling up at him.

"What am I gonna do now? I mean, this last year and a half has changed me. I'm out of the loft and that's because of you." he said looking over at her. He looked so helpless. As if he didn't know what his life meant now.

"You changed me too Roger. But it's time for us to get on with our lives. You're meant for so much more. So am I. I can't stay here in this loft forever." she said looking up at him.

"Are you gonna be OK? I mean, really OK?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah I really am and that's because of you. I could have never gotten clean and gotten a real job if it wasn't for you. You did a lot for me. I'm going back to school and I actually have a future now. I'll always owe you for that." she smiled leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"I guess this is goodbye, huh?" he asked looking over at her.

"Not goodbye. I mean, we're still friends right?" she asked looking over at him.

"Of course Mimi. We'll always be friends." he smiled putting his arms around her and kissing her head.

"Good. Because I don't know what I would do if we couldn't be friends." she said holding on to him.

"Me neither." he said looking down at her.

"OK, now that you have your life back. I need you to promise me that you're gonna get out there and do something with it. And for God sakes Roger, get a haircut and shave. It's summer time. You can't go around looking like a bum anymore." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yes ma'am." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

A/N: First chapter Post Rent. I hope you like it. I'm gonna be posting a lot more in the next few days, so hang on to your eye balls.

Renthead621


	25. Chapter 25

Later that evening in Mimi's apartment

"Mimi, why would you break up with Roger? I thought you loved him." Maureen asked as Mimi set things up in her old apartment.

"I do love him Maureen, but I know he doesn't love me. Not the way he's supposed to." she said looking over at her at she unpacked her bags.

"But Sweetie, he wrote you that song and he took care of you until you were better." she said looking up at her.

"Yeah and I can't let him keep doing it. I had to let him go, so he could do something with his life other than take care of me. He's positive too. He deserves to be happy and I knew he wasn't happy taking care of me." she said looking over at her.

"What are you gonna do now sweetie?" she asked looking up at her as Mimi sat on the couch next to her.

"I'm gonna make sure Roger lives his life and finds someone to love for the rest of his days the way he deserves to love. I owe him that much." she said looking over at her.

"How are you gonna feel about that? Seeing him with someone else?" Maureen asked turning to her.

"As long as he's happy, I'll be happy. He deserves it." she smiled before getting up to go to the dresser to finish unpacking.

* * *

A week later

Roger began walking around New York City. He walked past the bar he used to work in and peeked through the window. There were a few patrons sitting at the bar drinking their beer and a young woman up on the stage singing. He could hear her voice and it made him smile. He used to perform on that very stage, but that was a long time ago. He looked down at his feet before shoving his hands in his pockets and continuing on his walk. A little while later he found himself standing outside a large apartment building. He looked up before walking into the lobby and taking the elevator upstairs. When he got out of the elevator, he walked down the hallway to a familiar apartment. He knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer.

"Roger, what are you doing here?" Allison smiled as she opened the door of hers and Benny's New York apartment.

"I uh... heard you talked to Mimi and let her off the hook for what happened between her and Benny. I just wanted to say thank you. It means a lot to her." he said quietly looking down at her with his hands shoved in his front pockets.

"Yeah well, it wasn't her fault. She's not the one who married me and then cheated on me." she said looking up at him.

"Um... can I come in? Please?" he asked looking down at her.

"Of course. Yes, come in." she smiled opening the door more to let him in. "What brings you up here? I know you hate leaving bohemia." she smiled closing the door behind him.

"I um... I missed you Allie." he said quietly looking over at her.

"I missed you so much Roger." she smiled reaching out to hug him.

"I'm sorry for everything. We were pissed at Benny and we took it out on you too. After everything you did for me after April... I was an ass to treat you the way I did." he said holding her tightly in his arms.

"I understand, I didn't make things easy for you. I should have said something to Benny, but I just chickened out. It was him and my father against just me and I didn't have the guts to stand up to them. I'm so sorry honey." she rambled as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Me too Allie. I love you so much and I treated you like crap after everything." he said kissing her head.

"Forget it Roger. It's done now. I forgive you. If you forgive me for not doing anything." she smiled looking up at him.

"Of course Allie. I could never stay mad at you. I love you." he smiled kissing her head again.

"I love you too Roger. I never stopped." she smiled looking up at him.

"So what are we gonna do now?" he asked looking down at her before letting her go.

"We forget the whole thing ever happened and become friends again. That is... if you want me." she smiled looking up at him.

"Of course I do Allie. You've always been one of my best friends." he smiled looking down at her.

"So how's Mimi?" she smiled leading him over to the couch to catch up.

"She broke up with me." he said looking over at her.

"I'm sorry Roger, but you do know it's for the best. For you and her." she smiled looking over at her.

"She said she wants me to get on with my life. I'm thinking of trying to get my old job at the bar back." he smiled sitting next to her.

"That's great Roger. How long until you're performing again?" she asked looking over at him.

"Allie, I just decided to get a job. One step at a time, OK?" he laughed looking over at her.

"OK, but you better get onstage again. I miss hearing you perform." she smiled reaching over to his hand. "Promise me you're gonna perform again." she pleaded looking into his green eyes.

"I'll try. It looks like they have a new band playing. I looked through the window and saw them practicing." he said looking over at her.

"I bet their not as good as you were." she smiled looking over at him.

"I don't know. She was great. Um... the lead singer. She was really good." he said looking over at her.

"The lead singer is a woman? Really? That sounds interesting." she laughed looking over at him.

"Don't start Allie. I'm nowhere near ready for a relationship yet." he warned looking over at her.

"OK, I hear you." she smiled looking over at him as they continued talking.

* * *

"You went to Allie's? What brought that on?" Mark asked looking over at him.

"Mimi called her to make amends for sleeping with Benny and one thing led to another and they're friends now." he smiled looking over at him.

"So now you're talking to her too?" he asked drinking his tea.

"Mark, she's done a lot for me and I treated her like crap just because of Benny and her father. I wasn't fair to her." he said looking over at him.

"How is she?" he asked looking over at him.

"She looks good. She seems unhappy with her life. I wish there was something we can do for her." he said looking down.

"What do you mean?" he asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. I wanna ask her to start spending more time with us again. Maybe get some of the old times back. They weren't all bad." he said looking over at him.

"I think that would be a good idea Rog. What about Benny? Do you want to let him back in too?" he asked looking over at him.

"I think that should be up to Allie. But if it makes her happy, I'm up for it." he said looking over at him.

"Mimi really changed you, didn't she?" Mark asked smiling at him.

"Yeah she did. Um... I'm also thinking about making some other changes around here too." he smiled over at him.

"OK so, what's the plan?" Mark asked looking over at him.

"I'm gonna go to the bar and talk to Tommy about getting my old job back." he smiled looking over at him.

"You're getting a job? You? Roger Davis? Getting a job?" Mark asked looking over at Roger in disbelief.

"Yes Mark, I'm getting a job. Why is it so hard for you to believe? I have worked before. I was working when we met." he said putting his leather jacket on.

"Yeah, but you haven't worked since..." he said looking over at him.

"I know, since me and April got into drugs and I got fired. Yeah, I'm well aware of the past. I was there." he said looking over at him. "Mimi wants me to get on with my life and I owe it to her to do it." he said looking over at him.

"Good for you Roger. I'm glad you're taking what Mimi said to heart." he said looking over at him.

"I have to man. She's right. I've been putting my life on hold for too long. If I'm gonna do anything with my life, I gotta do it now." he said looking over at him.

"Well good luck Roger. Are you gonna start a new band?" he asked looking over at him.

"I'm gonna take it one step at a time." he said as he left the loft. He walked around the corner to the bar he worked in years earlier. He opened the door and walked in.

"Can I help you kid?" the older gentleman asked as Roger sat on a stool.

"Tommy, it's me. Roger. Roger Davis." he smiled looking over at him.

"Roger. I haven't seen you since... how's that girl of yours? April, right? Are you two still together?" he asked looking over at him.

"She um... she died." he said looking down at the bar.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Are you OK? Is there anything I can do?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, no, um... I'm OK. It was a long time ago. I mean, I'm clean and I'm just looking for a job. I was hoping that my old job was available?" he asked looking over at him.

"Of course. You were always the best bartender I ever had. The girls loved coming in when you were here. When can you start?" he smiled looking over at him.

"Whenever you need me. I really appreciate this Tommy. I won't let you down this time. I swear." he smiled looking over at him.

"I know you won't Roger. Do you want a beer to celebrate? I can tell you what's been going on around here since you left." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'd really like that." he smiled looking over at him as he poured him a beer.

"Man, I can't believe I'm looking at you after all this time. I have so much I have to tell you. We have a new house band. They're not as good as you guys were, but the lead singer is incredible." he smiled setting the beer in front of him on the bar.

"I can't wait to hear him." he smiled picking up the glass and taking a sip.

"She's great. Her name is Keely. I'm telling you, the first time she came in, I thought about you. She's perfect for you." he laughed drinking his water.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm sorry to break this to you but I just got out of a relationship and I'm really not ready for another one." he said drinking more of his beer.

"You should see her Roger. I swear she's your type. She's real pretty and she's got this kick ass voice. A real rock chick. You two would sound great together." he smiled leaning on the bar.

"Well like I told you, I just got out of a relationship and I don't think I'm ready to get back on stage. At least not yet anyway." he said setting his beer back on the bar.

"If you say so Roger." Tommy smiled looking over at him as they continued to drink and talk.

* * *

"You got a job? Roger, that's great. I'm so proud of you." Mimi smiled as she and Roger sat in her apartment.

"Yeah, it's my old job. My boss is already trying to set me up with the lead singer of the house band." he laughed looking over at her.

"He realizes you're not gay, right?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Of course he does Mimi. The lead singer is a girl." he smiled looking over at her.

"Well is she hot?" she asked looking up at him.

"She's pretty, I guess. I saw her through the window yesterday when they were rehearsing. But I'm not ready for another relationship. We just broke up." he said looking over at her.

"Roger, you don't know how much longer you have. You can't waste anymore of your life then you already have." she told him getting up to walk around the apartment.

"Mimi, one step at a time. I just got a job. You can't expect me to rush into everything all at once." he argued looking up at her.

"Roger, don't freeze yourself off like you did with me. If you like her, don't fuck it up. Ask her out." she said looking over at him.

"Fine Mimi. If I like her after I meet her, I'll ask her out." he said looking up at her.

"You need to be open to another relationship. It sounds like this woman is perfect for you. She's a rock chick." she smiled looking down at him.

"I said fine Mimi. I'll give her a chance. Now, come on. I'll take you out for lunch. I'm working now, so I think I owe my friend a meal." he smiled looking up at her.

"I'd love that. I'm starving. You can tell me about your lead singer. What's her name?" she asked as she slipped her boots on and they left the apartment.

"Mimi, she's not my lead singer. All I know is her name is Keely and she's a real rock chick. She's really pretty. She has long blond hair and her voice is incredible. Tommy said as soon as he heard her sing, he thought of me." he told her as they walked down the stairs.

"A rock chick, huh? Sounds like she's your type." she smiled leaving the building with Roger and walking towards the Life Cafe.

* * *

2 days later

Roger was standing at the bar talking to an elderly customer. The door opened and a beautiful young woman came rushing in. She was dressed in a pink body suit and pair of gray sweatpants. Her hair was in a tight braided bum. She had a pink duffel bag slung over her shoulder. She rushed towards the back room where Roger watched her struggle with the door.

"Come on you son of a bitch. Why are you always fucking with me? Open already you bastard." the young woman yelled at the door before kicking it with her sneakered foot. Roger rushed out from behind the bar to save the door from certain damage.

"Um... can I help you with something?" Roger asked approaching the young woman mildly amused.

"No, it's OK. I get it eventually, but it likes to make me fight for it." she said looking up into his green eyes.

"Um... I'm um... I'm Roger. Roger Davis. You must be Keely." he said looking down at her.

"Yeah... um, how did you know?" she asked looking up at him.

"Tommy told me about you. You sing with the band, right?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, that's me. I'm supposed to meet my band here, but obviously they're later than I am." she said before the door finally opened. "Got it. See, I told you I get it eventually."

"Tommy told me you're really good." he said looking over at her.

"Wait a minute. You're that Roger Davis? The same Roger Davis who used to play with the Well Hungarians? Wow. Tommy told me so much about you too. He said you were really good too." she smiled standing in the doorway.

"Um... that was a long time ago." he smiled looking down at her.

"I'm sure you're still good. I'd love to hear you some time." she smiled going into the back room.

"Maybe some other time. Um... I gotta get back to work." he said looking down at her in the doorway.

"Thanks for offering to help. Um... if the guys come in, can you just tell them that I'm getting changed in here?" she asked looking over at him.

"No problem." he smiled looking down at her as she went into the room and closed the door.

A/N: I hope you're all excited about Keely. I am. I'm gonna be updating pretty frequently now. I hope you can keep up. Enjoy.

Renthead621


	26. Chapter 26

"You're talking to Roger and Mimi? When did this happen?" Benny asked as he paced around their apartment.

"Just Mimi at first. She called me. She's in a program and she's working her steps and she wanted to make amends and she said that Roger missed me. And he came by to see me." she smiled as she reached into the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure he missed you so much." he snorted sarcastically.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that my friend misses me? You know, he wasn't just your friend. He was mine too." she yelled looking over at him.

"In case you forgot, he called you Muffy not too long ago." he said looking over at her.

"That's water under the bridge now." she said looking over at him.

"What does he want?" he asked skeptical.

"He wants me in his life again. Despite what an ass you've been to everyone." she said walking away from him.

"He wants something from you, you know that, don't you?" he called out as she reached their bedroom door.

"You know what Benny? Screw you. I lost him once because of you, I'm not gonna lose him again because of you too. Stay away from him. And stay away from Mimi too." she yelled looking over at him before slamming the bedroom door behind her.

"Since when are you defending the hooker and the junkie?" he yelled standing outside the bedroom door.

"Since it pisses you off." she yelled sitting on her bed.

* * *

"Oliver, come on. I'm not gonna keep fighting you on this one. We've been playing this song for 3 weeks already. When are you gonna stop bitching about it?" Keely asked from the stage as she and the bend rehearsed.

"Keel, I just hate that damn song. You know I do." he argued looking over at her.

"Oh come on Oli. Why? I love that song and everyone else seems to like it too." she whined looking back at him.

"Keel, you know I've never been crazy about that song. Why do we have to keep playing it?" he asked looking over at her.

"Because I like it and it sounds great." she said looking up at him.

"But I'm sick of playing it. And god knows I'm sick of hearing it." he whined looking over at her.

"Let's just practice it. Please." she pouted looking over at him.

"Keel, you are impossible." he laughed looking down at her.

"I know, but you love me anyway, don't you Oli?" she smiled looking back at him as she approached the microphone and the band started playing. It was a slow song and Roger couldn't wait to hear her sing.

_All this time  
I knew someday you'd need to find  
Something that you left behind  
Something I can't give you_

_All these tears  
And like alight love disappears  
But hearts are good for souvenirs  
And memories are forever_

_All this time  
All in all I've no regrets  
The sun still shines the sun still sets  
The heart forgives the heart forgets  
But what will I do now with all this time_

_One more kiss  
Even though it's come to this  
I'll close my eyes and make a wish  
Hoping you remember_

_All this time  
All in all I've no regrets  
The sun still shines the sun still sets  
The heart forgives the heart forgets  
But what will I do now with all this time_

_Say goodbye  
Apart we'll make another try  
But don't be sorry if you cry  
I'll be crying too_

_All this time  
All in all I've no regrets  
The sun still shines the sun still sets  
The heart forgives the heart forgets  
But what will I do now with all this time _

"OK, now you can't say that you didn't like the way that song sounds." she smiled looking over at him.

"Eh, you were great, but I'm not crazy about that damn song." he said looking over at her.

"Oh come on, it's a great song.." she argued looking over at him.

"Yeah Keel, you played it out when we were kids." he complained looking over at her.

"But I like singing it. Please Oli. I'll be your best friend." she pleaded looking up at him.

"But it's a damn Tiffany song Keel. I hate Tiffany. I hated her when we were 16." he said leaning his elbow on the guitar.

"Oh come on Oliver. It came out really good." she whined looking over at him.

"OK, how about we ask for another opinion. Um... you, what did you think of that song?" Oliver asked looking over at the bar at Roger from the stage.

"Uh... me?" he stuttered pointing to himself.

"Yeah, what did you think of that song? And be honest." he asked looking over at him.

"Uh... I um... I don't like Tiffany either, but Keely was great... good. I mean, Keely was good." he stammered before clearing his throat. "Um... you should do that song." he said looking up at her. He was speechless from hearing Keely sing but didn't want to sound like an idiot by not answering her. Tommy told him that she had an awesome rock chick voice, but in his opinion, she had a great voice in general. So great, she could make 80's pop sound great.

"Thank you Roger. See, I told you. I think we should keep it." she said looking over at Oliver.

"Fine. But this is gonna be the last week we do it. I wanna put Little Liar back in the first set." he submitted as she smiled.

"Deal. Thank you Oliver. You are awesome." she smiled looking over at Roger before they continued to practice.

"I told you she was great." Tommy smiled standing behind Roger who was still staring up at her.

"Yeah, um... she's really good." Roger smiled before looking away to do some work.

"I'm gonna get some water." Keely smiled looking over at them as they shook their heads before stepping off of the stage to approach the bar. "Can I um... can I get a bottle of water please?" she asked leaning on the bar.

"Sure. You guys were really um... you were really good." he smiled looking down at her handing her a bottle of water.

"Um... thanks. He fights me tooth and nail whenever I decide to do anything that's not from Lita Ford, Patti Smythe, Pat Benatar or Joan Jett." she laughed looking over at him.

"It looks like you could hold your own with him. How long have you guys been together?" he asked looking over at her.

"Me and Oli? Oh no, we're not together. We're cousins actually. He moved to the city to be a rock star and I wanted to be a dancer on Broadway and since Broadway is in New York, I came here." she said looking up at him.

"Really? That's cool. How did you become the lead singer of a rock band?" he asked cleaning some glasses.

"Oliver and I had a band when we were in high school, but I quit to concentrate on my dancing. Then the original lead singer got married and moved away, Oliver asked me to fill in until they could find a replacement. 3 years later, here I am." she smiled before taking a sip of her water.

"That's cool. Have you been in any Broadway shows?" he asked turning the water off in the sink under the counter.

"No. I've auditioned a lot, but I'm either too short, too tall, too plain. You know how it is." she said putting the cap on the bottle.

"I don't think you're plain at all." he smiled drying his hands off on a towel.

"Thanks. Um... I gotta get back to practice, but it was nice talking to you." she smiled nervously before getting up and going back to the stage to finish rehearsal.

"Um... yeah. It was nice talking to you too." he smiled watching her talking to the guys in the band.

"You like her, don't you?" Tommy said smiling over at Roger.

"She's cool." Roger mumbled before going towards the back of the bar. Tommy just simply smiled at him.

"Um... Roger, I'd like you to meet the guys. This is Drew, he plays the drums. This is Oliver, my cousin and our lead guitarist. Seth plays bass, Danny plays keyboard and Cody plays rhythm guitar. Guys, this is the famous Roger Davis." she smiled looking up at Roger coming up to the bar with the rest of the band.

"I wouldn't say that I'm famous." Roger laughed nervously looking down at Keely.

"Dude, it's cool. You were great. I saw you play here." Drew smiled looking over at him.

"Thanks man." he smiled looking over at him.

"Why don't you sing with us? Dude, you and Keely would sound awesome together." Oliver smiled looking up at him.

"I couldn't." he said looking over at them.

"You should go for it Roger. I miss hearing you sing." Tommy smiled looking up at him.

"I don't think it's a good idea." he told him walking away as the band continued practicing..

A/N: The song I used for Keely was All This Time by Tiffany. She's an 80's pop singer who I used to love. I wanted her to do a song that wouldn't normally get Roger's attention, but because of Keely's voice, he took notice. I hope you're liking Keely so far. It's taken me a very long time to get her just right for Roger.

Renthead621


	27. Chapter 27

Saturday Night

"How's everyone doing tonight?" Keely asked standing on the stage as the crowd erupted. "Awesome. For those of you who don't already know, we're Alienated and we're glad you all came out tonight, so let's get rocking." she smiled as the music started behind her. The music began and Keely started dancing around the stage. Roger was hypnotized. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

_Livin' with my eyes closed, goin' day to day  
I never knew the difference, I never cared either way  
Lookin' for a reason, searchin' for a sign  
Reachin' out with both hands, I gotta feel the kick inside_

_  
All Fired Up  
Now I believe there comes a time  
All Fired Up  
When everything just falls in line  
All Fired Up  
We live an' learn from our mistakes  
All Fired Up, Fired Up, Fired Up - Hey_

_Ain't nobody livin', in a perfect world  
Everybody's out there, cryin' to be heard  
Now I got a new fire, burnin' in my eyes  
Lightin' up the darkness, movin' like a meteorite_

_All Fired Up  
Now I believe there comes a time  
All Fired Up  
When everything just falls in line  
All Fired Up  
We live an' learn from our mistakes  
All Fired Up, Fired Up, Fired Up_

_Now I believe there comes a time  
When everything just falls in line  
We live an' learn from our mistakes  
The deepest cuts are healed by faith  
Now I believe there comes a time  
When everything just falls in line  
We live an' learn from our mistakes  
The deepest cuts are healed by faith  
Now I believe there comes a time  
When everything just falls in line  
We live an' learn from our mistakes  
The deepest cuts are healed by faith_

"Roger, are you OK?" Tommy asked looking over at Roger as he continued staring up at Keely.

"Yeah... um yeah, I'm fine." he smiled briefly looking away from Keely to attend to some customers only to look back at her again.

"Hey, who do I have to know to get a drink around here?" a woman asked standing at the bar in front of Roger.

"Allie, what are you doing here?" he asked looking down at her.

"Benny and my father are working late, as usual so I decided to take a night out for myself. Mimi's studying and she told me you would be here. So I figured I'd come by to see you." she smiled looking up at him.

"Well um... I'm glad you came. What'll you have?" he asked looking down at her.

"I'll take a beer. Um... she's really good. Is that the famous Keely Mimi told me about?" she asked looking up on the stage.

"I should have known that woman couldn't keep anything to herself." he half laughed looking down at his old friend.

"Yeah well, she's excited. From what you told her it sounds like she's the perfect girl for you." she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"Um.. yeah that's um... that's Keely." he smiled looking up at her as Allison directed her attention to Keely as well.

"Thank you." Keely smiled at the crowd as the music started for another song. Keely rocked out as she began singing the next song. Her hair swung as she bobbed her head to the music. She looked towards the bar and noticed Roger staring up at her.

"Are you OK Roger?" Allison asked touching his arm before looking up at her friend who was looking up at the stage smiling.

"Um... yeah. I'm um... I'm fine." he said looking down at her before looking back up at Keely. As their eyes met, Roger looked away quickly to cover the fact that he was staring at her. After a few more songs, the music started again and Roger knew it was the Tiffany song she practiced a couple of days earlier. He watched Keely as she stood in front of the microphone.

"Oooh, I love this song." Allison smiled looking up at Keely.

"Yeah, so does she. And she does it really great. She makes it sound like rock." he smiled looking up at Keely. There was a spotlight on her and she caught a glimpse of Roger looking up at her. As she started singing the song, she stared down at him He was mesmerized. She was so into the song, it came out perfect. He felt like they were the only two people in the room.

"What did I tell you? She's got a presence that someone I used to know had." Tommy smiled looking over at him with his arms folded.

"Look at her. The crowd loves her. They can't take their eyes off of her." he smiled leaning towards Tommy but never taking his eyes off of Keely.

"Looks like it's more than the crowd." Tommy smiled putting his hand on his shoulder before walking away as Roger continued to stare up at her.

"We're gonna take a short break. We'll be back in 20." she smiled setting the microphone back on it's stand and stepping off of the stage, going to the bar for a drink.

"Um... you guys sounded great." he smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks. I'd like to do some duets, but even though my guys are pretty good at harmonizing with each other, but they suck at singing on their own. And I'd like to do some originals, but I suck at song writing." she laughed looking up at him as Tommy came over and gave her a bottle of water.

"Roger sings." Allison smiled looking over at Keely.

"And did I ever tell you that he writes songs too?" he intervened listening to the conversation before putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"Yeah, I think you nonchalantly mentioned something about that. A half a million times." she laughed looking up as Roger looked over at him as the other band members came to the bar.

"You'll have to excuse Tommy. He's not very subtle." Roger laughed looking back at Tommy.

"I can tell. Come on. You so should. I'm not gonna take no for an answer." she smiled looking up at him.

"I agree. I miss hearing you sing." Allison smiled looking up at Roger.

"Maybe another time. I haven't sung in a while and my voice is probably more than a bit rusty." he said as Tommy walked away.

"Hi I'm Keely. Are you Roger's girlfriend?" Keely smiled turning to Allison.

"Girlfriend? Um... no, I'm just a really good friend. My name is Allison Coffin. You were really great up there." she smiled looking over at Keely.

"Thank you. Maybe you can get Roger to get up on stage with me. It'll be fun." she smiled looking up at Roger.

"I don't know. I'm not really much of a singer anymore. I'm strictly a bartender now." he said lookng down at the girls.

"I'm sure that's not true. We could do a duet. How do you feel about Ozzy Osbourne?" she asked taking the cap off of the water bottle before downing half of the bottle.

"Oh my God, I love that song." Allison smiled looking over at Keely.

"I know the song you're talking about. That's a good song, but I don't know if I remember the words." he said looking down at her.

"Come on Roger. I'm sure you do. You'll do fine. I really want to hear you sing. Tommy's been raving about you since I walked in here and auditioned. You have to do it. If not for Tommy, then for me. I've been hearing how great you sing since before I met you." she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"You're not gonna get off of this, are you?" he laughed looking down in to her blue eyes.

"Nope. I'm a diva and I'm used to getting my way. Please." she pleaded looking up at him.

"OK fine. I'll do one song. But if I get boo'd off the stage, it's on your head." he smiled looking down at her.

"I have a feeling you're not gonna get boo'd off the stage. You'll see." she smiled excitedly.

"Get ready Roger Davis. You're about to make a comeback. I'm so excited." Allison smiled excitedly looking up at him.

"Great." he smirked looking back at Tommy who looked thrilled.

"You're gonna be great Roger. I can't wait to hear you sing again." Allison said looking up at him.

* * *

"I must be fucking crazy. What the hell am I thinking?" Roger muttered to himself as he paced around in front of the bar smoking a cigarette nervously.

"Roger, what are you doing out here? Tommy's been looking for you." Keely asked coming out of the bar.

"I needed some air. Keely, I gotta be crazy to even be considering this. I'm not a singer anymore. I'm a bartender. I haven't been on that stage in years and the last time I was… well, let's just say, it's a good thing I was too high to remember it, because from what my friends tell me, it was a disaster." he told her taking another drag off of his cigarette.

"You know Roger, I have been hearing about how great Roger Davis was from the minute I walked in the door of this place. Literally. Tommy, Drew, Oliver. All they kept telling me about was the guy who used to play here. They've been raving about how talented that guy was. And now that you're here right in front of me, I'm not about to let this opportunity pass me by. Do you mean to tell me the you're not that guy anymore?" she said looking up at him. Hearing her go off on him took him by surprise. When he first met her, he got the feeling that she was shy and here she was yelling at him. It lit a fire in his chest. A fire he hasn't felt in a very long time.

"I screwed up so bad… I don't know if I can be that guy again." he said looking down at her.

"Yeah well, you don't lose a talent like yours over night. Tommy has faith in you Roger, and so do I. So get your butt in there and get ready to go on. And give me that. You're a singer. You shouldn't be smoking. It'll fuck up your voice." she yelled at him before grabbing the cigarette from in between his fingers and throwing it out before opening the door and going into the bar.

"Here goes nothing." he whispered to himself before going inside too.

"Everything OK?" Tommy asked looking up at Roger as he went back behind the bar and Keely walked to the stage.

"Um... yeah. Everything's great." he said looking up at Keely as she started her second set. As she sung, the butterflies in his stomach started to grow. He couldn't believe that he was gonna get back up on that stage and sing. He stared at Keely as she smiled at him throughout the set.

"OK, we've got a real treat for you all tonight. I've been hearing about this guy since I walked through those doors and I'm really excited to be singing with him tonight. It is my honor to introduce the former lead singer of the Well Hungarians. Give it up for Roger Davis. Roger, come on up here." she called out pointing to him as he stood behind the bar.

"You're gonna be great Roger." Allison smiled looking up at him.

"Go Roger. Knock 'em dead.." Tommy smiled as Roger reluctantly stepped out from behind the bar and approached the stage. The crowd cheered. Many of them had seen Roger perform in his hay day and were looking forward to seeing him perform again.

"Are you ready Roger?" Keely asked quietly looking up at him as he stepped onto the stage taking the microphone she was handing him.

"Yeah, I think so." he smiled as the music started. Roger began swallowing very hard and clearing his throat. The last thing he wanted to do was make a fool of himself in front of Keely and the rest of the bar.

" _Baby I get so scared inside and I don't really understand. Is it love that is on my mind or is it fantasy." _Keely sung looking up at Roger. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. When she started singing to him, she looked up into his green eyes. He almost forgot that there were hundreds of other people in the room.

_  
"Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you. What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy. If I close my eyes forever. Would it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Would it all remain the same? Sometimes it's hard to hold on so hard to hold on to my dreams. It's not always what it seems when your face to face to me." _ Roger sang looking down at her. He was nervous at first because he hadn't sung in a long time. But as he continued singing his voice cleared up blowing Keely away.

_  
"Like a dagger you stick me in the heart then taste the blood from my blade. And when we're asleep would you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave. If I close my eyes forever. Would it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Would it all remain the same? Will you ever take me?"_ she sang looking into his eyes. The rest of the band just watched and smiled at them.

_  
"No I just can't take the pain." _he sang back. She started to look away, but he reached out and took her hand.

_  
"Would you ever trust me?" _she smiled looking down at their joined hands and then up at him.

_  
"No I'll never feel the same. Oh." _he wailed as the guitar solo started. He looked down at their joined hands and quickly looked away, letting go of her hand.

_"I know I've been so hard on you. I know I've told you lies. If I could have just one more wish. I would wipe the cobwebs from my eyes. If I close my eyes forever. Would it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever. Would it all remain the same?" _Keely asked looking into the crowd.

_"Close your eyes. Close your eyes. You gotta close your eyes for me..." _he concluded as the crowd erupted in screams and applause. Roger's heart was pumping out of his chest. He had never felt so alive, yet so scared at the same time.

"Um... that was great Roger. Roger Davis everyone." she smiled gazing up at him nervously.

"Thank you." Roger said timidly before smiling down at Keely then stepping off the stage.

"Um... what was that?" Tommy asked looking up at him as he got back to the bar.

"I uh... I don't know what you're talking about." he said going over to the other side of the bar to serve a customer.

"Between you and Keely. We all saw it." Allison smiled looking up at him.

"There was nothing to see. It was nothing. Uh... I gotta get back to work." he said continuing his work and Keely continued her set.

"Yeah, right." Tommy smiled looking down at Allison and then at Keely who was staring at Roger as started the next song.

* * *

"Oh my God Roger. That was amazing. You are not rusty at all. No wonder why Tommy's been raving about you all this time." Keely yelled excitedly approaching the bar as the rest of the band packed up their equipment.

"Yeah, um... thanks. Can I buy you a beer?" he asked looking down at her.

"No thanks. I don't drink. But you can buy me a water." she smiled looking up at him.

"You're on." she smiled reaching into the cooler for a bottle of water.

"You were really good up there tonight Roger." she smiled sitting on the barstool.

"Listen Keely, um... about up there..." he started looking down at her.

"You were great Roger. Really." she smiled as he put the water bottle in front of her.

"Thanks. But uh... about what happened up there. Between us." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, it's OK. It was pretty intense up there." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah I know. Um... it's just... I just got out of a relationship and I mean I didn't mean to..." he started when she cut him off.

"Roger, it's cool. It was nothing." she said looking down at the bar.

"Yeah right. Um... I gotta go back to work." he said looking down. He felt like crap. He had feelings for Keely, but he just chickened out of doing something about it.

"Well you were really amazing though. Anytime you want to sing with me... I'd be honored." she smiled drinking her water.

"Thanks for understanding. Um... I'll talk to you later." he smiled before going over to another customer.

"Um... OK Roger." she said quietly looking down at her water bottle. "Um… Tommy, can I talk to you?" Keely asked waving Tommy over to her.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked leaning on the bar.

"What's Roger's deal?" she asked looking over at Roger who was laughing with another customer.

"He's had a rough time of it these last few years. And he mentioned that he just got out of a relationship, so I think he's still a little gun shy." he said looking down at her.

"Oh OK." she said looking down at the bar before taking another sip of her water. She looked up at Roger, who was sneaking glances at her.

A/N: For the first song she performed, it was All Fired Up by the great rock chick of the 80's Pat Benatar. She was my idol back then and I still listen to her music quite frequently. I have used a lot of her stuff in my previous stories because well, she's the embodiment of what a rock chick was and in my opinion still is. And I know I always use Close My Eyes Forever by Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne as the duet Roger sings with the object of his affection, but it's the ultimate rock ballad. I would love to hear Adam sing it, but the only person I want to hear him singing it with is me and I suck at singing, but oh well. LOL It's my favorite one and has been for 20 years. I hope you have all downloaded it out of curiosity and love it as much as I do.

Renthead621


	28. Chapter 28

3 days later

"So I was thinking, when I finally get my GED, maybe I can take some courses at NYU. Collins said he could help me get financial aid. What do you think about that?" Mimi asked looking up at him.

"Mhm." he groaned staring into space. She could tell that he wasn't paying attention.

"And um... me and Collins decided to have a baby together. If it's a boy we're gonna name him Dracula." she added looking more intently at him.

"Cool." he mumbled playing with the ring on his pointer finger.

"Roger, are you even listening to me?" Mimi asked looking over at him.

"What? Yeah. Oh... sorry. I was just thinking about something. I didn't mean to ignore you. Go ahead, I swear, I'll listen this time." he said looking over at her as he sat up straighter on the couch.

"OK, spill it." Mimi said looking over at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked being evasive.

"You know what I'm talking about. You've been acting all loco for days now talk. Did something happen the other night?" she asked leaning over to him.

"Yeah like Allie didn't already tell you." he said looking over at her.

"Tell me what? All she said was that she went by the bar for a drink and she saw you. What's going on?" she asked looking over at him.

"Um... I sang with Keely." he said trying to play it off.

"Oh my God, she got you on stage? I'm liking her already. I'm so proud of you. So tell me, how was it?" Mimi smiled looking over at him excitedly.

"It was great. You know, being up there again? And Keely was amazing, but I got up there and I started singing and… things got weird." he said getting up to make coffee.

"Weird? What do you mean weird? Roger, what did you do?" she asked looking over at him.

"I didn't do anything. It's just... we started singing and... I don't know. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. And then I guess I sort of took her hand and I thought my heart was gonna jump out of chest." he told her walking over to the window thinking about being on stage with Keely that night.

"You took your hand? Roger, that's great. But how did it get weird?" she asked looking up at him.

"After her set, she came up to the bar to talk to me and I kind of fucked it up and now I think she thought I thought it was a mistake." he said looking over at her.

"Why would she think that? You didn't do your stammering, brooding, I just got out of a relationship act, did you?" she asked walking over to him.

"Kind of. What the hell am I gonna do? I like her and I totally fucked it up." he said sitting down on the window seat.

"I can't believe you. You had your chance to ask her out and you totally fucking chickened out." she said looking over at him.

"I know. I wanted to ask her out right there, but you know me." he said looking over at her.

"Ay dios mio! Roger. What the hell am I gonna do with you? You take one step forward and two steps back. Just when I think there's hope for you, you go back to being... being you. OK, you did not totally fuck it up. Listen to me. Call her and ask her out for a cup of coffee or something. You can go to the Life Café. It's a public place so she'll know you're not a serial killer preying on young women. And you guys can talk and you can take that foot of yours out of your mouth. Don't worry sweetie, it'll be OK." she said sitting next to him.

"I don't have her number." he said looking over at her.

"OK, so maybe you can't call her, but next time you see her in the club, you better ask her out." she said pointing at him.

"What am I gonna say to her?" he asked looking down at her.

"You'll figure it out. You're not an idiot Roger." she laughed looking up at him.

"Guess what. When it comes to women I am." he said looking over at her.

"Roger, you're a songwriter. You wrote me the most beautiful song I have ever heard. How do you not know what to say to a girl?" she laughed getting up from the window seat.

"I don't know. It's different when I'm talking to Keely. I can't describe it. I'm like a total dork and I really like her Mimi. I don't want to screw it up with her." he said looking up at her.

"God, I never realized what a high school boy you really are around women." she laughed looking down at him.

"Well now you know." he smiled looking up at her.

"Just stick with me. I'll handle everything." she smiled looking down at him as they drank their coffee.

* * *

2 days later

"Hi Roger." Keely smiled as she entered the bar. She was wearing a pink body suit and a pair of tight jeans with her dance bag slung over her right shoulder.

"Keely, um... hey." Roger smiled looking down at her. He was taken by surprise at how beautiful she looked. As she rushed to the back of the bar, he called out for her. "Keely. Can I um... can I talk to you a minute?"

"Yeah Roger. What's up?" she asked turning around. As she did her hair swung and was laying on her shoulder.

"I just wanted to um... I just wanted to say... um, what was going on between us on stage the other night when we were singing, it... um... it was real. I felt it too. I like you." he blurted out before losing his nerve as he looked deep into her piercing blue eyes.

"I know. I um... I like you too." she smiled looking up at him.

"But I made it sound like..." he started when she interrupted him.

"I know what you made it sound like Roger. But Tommy told me everything." she said looking over at him.

"What did Tommy tell you exactly?" he asked looking down at her.

"Well, he told me that you were just getting out of a relationship and you might be a little gun shy. I um... I understand that. I mean... I don't want to um..." she started looking up at him before he cut her off.

"It's not that. I mean, yeah I just got out of a relationship, but it's cool. I mean, we're friends now. Actually she's the one who told me that I should stop being so scared and talk to you." he smiled leaning towards her.

"Roger, I saw the look in your eyes when we were singing together. I knew you felt it too." she smiled looking over the bar at him.

"I did. I do... it's just I didn't know how handle it. Plus I'm not good at this talking to women stuff." he said looking over at her taking her hand.

"I think you're doing fine." she smiled looking down at his hand.

"No, I'm not Keel. I mean, when you looked at me and I took your hand on stage the other night, I thought my heart was gonna jump out of my chest. I don't know why I did it. It's just... I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't know what to say." he said squeezing her hand tightly.

"As soon as you looked into my eyes, I couldn't get rid of the butterflies in my stomach." she said looking up at him.

"I wanted to ask you out that night, but it's just... it's been a while since a girl made me feel like that. And I got scared. But I liked it. A lot." he smiled leaning closer to her as he put his other hand on hers.

"Me too." she smiled looking up at him. "Um... I have to get ready for rehearsal, but afterwards, do you wanna go for a cup of coffee or something? We can talk some more." she asked looking up at him.

"Um... actually I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out with me. I mean... like out on a date? Dinner and maybe a movie?" he asked smiling over at her.

"Yeah, I'd like that. But um... can we um... can we just take things slow for a little while?" she asked looking up at him as the rest of the band came into the bar. She quickly let go of his hand. "Um... we can talk about it after rehearsal, OK?" she smiled looking up at him.

"I'd um... I think that's a good idea too. And can we keep things quiet for now?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I think that's best. Between Tommy and the band, there's no telling what hell they'll put us through." she laughed looking up at him.

"Keel, are you ready for rehearsal? I have a new song I want to do." Oliver asked looking over at her.

"Um... yeah. I'm ready. Talk to you later Roger." Keely smiled looking up at him before going back to the stage with the rest of the band.


	29. Chapter 29

The next day

"That was a great movie Roger. Thank you for taking me." Keely smiled looking up at Roger as they held hands walking through the park.

"Well thanks for coming with me. I have a tendency to come off really pathetic when I like a girl." he smiled looking down at her.

"I think it's cute. I mean, when people look at you, they think that you're this suave, smooth guy when it comes to women. I like knowing that you're not." she smiled stopping as they faced one another.

"I'm glad you think it's cute because I'm probably gonna be doing it a lot." he smiled looking down into her blue eyes before her cell phone rang.

"I'm sorry Roger. I have to get this. Hello." she said into the phone turning away from him. "Julia, I'm sorry, but I can't come in right now... Because I'm kind of busy... Well it's your school too. Why am I the one who has to take all of the responsibility for everything?... No, I'm not coming in right now... because I'm on a date for a change and I think after all this time, I am entitled to a social life... none of your business... I'm not talking about this with you right now... Good bye Julia... Yeah, yeah good bye." she laughed before closing the phone and turning back to Roger. "Sorry. My um... my business partner. I own part of a dance studio." she smiled looking up at him.

"That's OK. I understand. Do you have to go?" he asked looking down at her.

"No, it'll keep." she smiled looking up at him.

"OK, now where were we?" he smiled lifting his hand to her face before leaning down towards her.

"Um... Roger, there's something I need to tell you before we go any further. It um... it might change the way you feel about me." she said lowering her head before backing away from him.

"What's the matter Keel?" he said looking down at her.

"I'm um... I'm HIV positive." she said looking up at him. 

"No. Oh my God, I'm so sorry Keel." he said looking down at her in disbelief. He couldn't believe this beautiful creature, so full of life was positive.

"No... um...I'm sorry I should have told you earlier, it's just... I don't date much. Actually, not at all since my diagnosis and I'm not used to telling people." she said looking up at him. "Does it change the way you feel about me?" she asked taking the front of his shirt in her hands. Her eyes glistening with tears.

"No, oh God, no Keel. Of course not. I'm um... I'm positive too." he said looking down into her eyes. Holding her shoulders.

"You're what?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm positive too." he said looking down at her.

"Oh my God. I'm so... I'm so sorry." she said letting go of his shirt and backing up more. She was clearly upset.

"No I'm sorry Keely. I wanted to you earlier too. So many times, but I didn't know how." he said reaching out for her hand.

"So, what do we do now?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't know. All I know is that I like you and I don't want this to stand in the way of what's happening between us." he said looking down at her.

"But it is in the way. Normal people don't have to worry about this when they first start dating someone." she said looking up at him.

"We are normal Keel. We're young and we like each other. Why should we let it stop us from having what everyone else in this city has?" he asked looking down at her.

"Because we can't do things everyone else in the city does." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah we can Keel. We just need to be careful when we do." he said lifting his hand to caress her face.

"Can we just take things slow? Please." she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"Sure Keel. I understand. How about I walk you home?" he smiled looking down at her.

"Thanks. Um... I'd like that." she smiled looking up at him as he held her hand tight and they started towards her apartment. "Um.. I heard you used to work with Tommy a few years back." she smiled looking up at him as they started walking to her apartment.

"Is there anything Tommy didn't tell you about me?" he laughed looking down at her.

"He didn't tell me why you quit your band or the bar." she said looking up at him.

"That's a long story. I'm not ready to talk about. Not yet anyway." he said looking down at her.

"OK, but when you are ready. I'll be ready to listen, OK?" she told him as they approached her apartment.

"OK." he smiled looking down at her.

"Do you um… do you wanna come up? We can talk some more." she asked smiling up at him.

"Sure." he said looking down at her as they entered her apartment.

"So what do you do other than play in the band and fight with inanimate objects?" he laughed looking down at her.

"Well, you know I own a dance studio, so I'm a ballet dancer. But right now I mainly teach little girls how to be prima ballerinas too." she said getting up on her tippy toes and doing a double p**irouette**.

"That must be fun." he smiled looking over at her as she danced to the kitchen.

"It is. I mean, I love being around my girls. They're so cute. You should see them in their little tutu's dancing around. " she gushed handing him a beer from the refrigerator.

"That's cool." he asked looking over at her.

"They remind me of myself when I was a little girl. All I ever wanted to be was a dancer. Ever since I was 4 when my parents put me in ballet class, I was hooked." she said opening her water bottle.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Ever since I got my first guitar when I was 13, all I ever wanted to be was a rock star. You know, playing huge stadiums, groupies, roadies touring, all that fun shit. But the sex, drugs and rock and roll isn't all it's cracked up to be." he said looking down at her.

"I know what you mean. I came to the city and figured that this was gonna be the best time of my life. That I'd look back on it when I was older and have fond memories." she said as she led him into the living room.

"How did you get... you know?" he asked sitting on the couch.

"It's complicated." she smiled sitting next to him.

"Well if you ever want to tell me, I know a little bit about complicated." he said looking over at her.

"Thanks Roger. I appreciate that." she said looking down as she curled her legs underneath herself.

"So, it must be nice living here all by yourself. You don't have anyone breathing down your neck knowing your business all the time." he said looking over at her changing the subject.

"It's not so great, trust me. I don't have that many friends." she said looking over at him as they smiled at each other uncomfortably.

"Having a lot of friends around all the time does have it's moments. I mean, we're there for me when I was diagnosed and they really stuck by me." he said looking over at her.

"I wish I had friends like that." she said looking down.

"What's the matter Keel?" he asked reaching out for her.

"Just thinking about how screwed up my life became after I got here." she said looking up at him.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm a bartender. We've been known to be great listeners." he smiled looking over at her.

"Well the cliff notes version is that I blew my knee out at a performance and I was told I would never dance professionally again. I um... I'm an alcoholic. I started to drink a lot when I first found out. I met this guy in a bar and I was really stupid. I had a one night stand and he was drunk and I was drunk so I guess we didn't remember to use protection. Stupid, huh? Especially in this day and age." she told him quietly looking up at him as tears stung her eyes. "I saw a poster on the subway about HIV and unprotected sex, so I figured I'd get tested. I um... I went on a bender after I was diagnosed. Danny found me and took me to the hospital. He saved my life. I quit drinking after that. I used my inheritance from my grandparents to buy the dance school and I started teaching. That was 4 years ago." she said wiping the tear that escaped her eyes from her face.

"I'm sorry Keel." he whispered reaching over to wipe her tears from her face.

"Hey, it's OK. I mean, you play, you pay, right? I'm OK. I mean I'm healthy, I'm sober and I'm not dead yet, so I must be doing something right." she said looking up at him.

"You're not alone, you know? Not anymore." he said pulling her into his arms.

"It's hard not to feel alone in this, you know?" she said holding on to the back of his shirt burying her face into his chest. "I mean, of course the guys in the band know, but we don't talk about it. I don't usually tell people right off. Actually, you're the first guy I've dated since I found out and... I don't know the protocol, you know?" she said looking up at him.

"Well you're not alone anymore Keely. And I'm glad you did tell me. I like you Keely." he said caressing her face.

"I like you too Roger. That's probably why I told you. I don't want you going into this blind." she said looking up at him.

"I understand." he smiled caressing her face.

"Do you want another beer? I could use some more water." she asked wiping her eyes before getting up from the couch and going into the kitchen again for more water.

"No thanks. Um... these are great pictures Keel. Who took them? And why aren't there any of you here?" Roger asked looking around her apartment as he got up from the couch. Pictures were hung up all over. They were of the guys in the band and people in the city.

"I took them. Photography is my hobby. I've been doing it since I was 14 years old. I like taking pictures of different things. I have a dark room in the walk in closet in my room. New York has so many interesting people and things to photograph." she smiled looking over at him.

"Wow. A singer, dancer, and a photographer? Is there anything you don't do?" he asked looking over at her.

"And I play a little guitar too." she smiled looking over at him.

"Oh man, Keel, you have no idea how hot that is." he laughed throwing his head back before looking over at her.

"You liked Joan Jett and Lita Ford when you were younger, didn't you?" she laughed walking back into the living room.

"Uh... yeah. You can say that." he laughed wrapping his arms around her.

"I was thinking that maybe I can do some newer rock chick stuff, like Melissa Ethreridge or something and I could play my guitar." she smiled looking up at him.

"That would be awesome. I would love to hear you play." he smiled looking down into her eyes. "But I'm serious Keel. These pictures are amazing. You're really talented. I love the black and white." he smiled as he looked up at the pictures again.

"It's my favorite film to use. I find it more dramatic then color. Maybe I'll even take some pictures of you one day. If you'll let me." she smiled looking up at him.

"You would get along great with my roommate Mark. He's a film maker and he likes taking pictures too." he smiled looking over at her.

"I'd love to meet your friends." she smiled looking over at him.

"I'd like that too." he smiled looking down at her. "You really are a great photographer Keel."

"I just dabble. My real passion is being on stage. Whether it's singing or dancing. There's nothing like having a room full of people watch you. It makes you feel like you're exposed for the world to see." she smiled as they sat on the couch again.

"I know what you mean. I used to feel like that when I was performing. I didn't think I missed it that much until you got me up there." he said looking down at her.

"We could do that every week you know." she smiled taking a swig of her water.

"I... um... I don't know Keel." he said looking over at her.

"Oh come on. You're amazing Roger. I've never heard anyone like you. You're really talented" she said smiled playing with his hair.

"I had my time up there. I like watching you." he confessed looking into her piercing blue eyes.

"But you're better than me Roger. Don't you see? I'm a dancer who happens to sing. But you... you belong up there. When I was singing with you, I felt it. Everyone in that bar felt it. It's where you belong." she said looking over at him.

"No Keel, you belong up there. You've got this presence that makes me feel like you're singing to me." he smiled looking over at her.

"Well um... I have been. I saw you staring up at me the other night." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah well, I've been up there. My time is over." he told her quietly.

"It doesn't have to be Roger. You can be up there again. I want you up there again. With me." she said reaching up to caress his face.

"I been there, done that and I screwed it up Keely. I don't want to screw it up again." he said looking over at her.

"Roger, you're not gonna screw it up again. I won't let you." she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"Oh you won't, huh?" he laughed looking over at her.

"No, I won't. I'm not gonna let you throw away your talent." she told him before shifting on the couch.

"I'll think about it, OK Keel?" he said lifting his hand to her face.

"OK. Good enough." she smiled looking up at him. "So, tell me about yourself. Something no one else knows." she smiled looking over at him.

"Um... I'm a... I'm a twin. Well I was, but my older brother died in a car accident with his friends when we were 16." he said looking over at her.

"I'm um... I'm sorry Roger. What was his name?" she asked looking over at him.

"Randall. Everyone just called him Randy. He was really cool. Popular too. He was a jock. He played basketball. One night, he went to a party and the kid he went to the party with got drunk and high and he hit into a telephone pole. Randy died instantly." he said looking down into his lap.

"I'm so sorry Roger." she said reaching out to take his hand.

"I um... I never told anyone about Randy. He's not someone I like to talk about, you know? I mean, my friend Collins knows, but no one else does. I don't know why I told you, it's just... I don't know. I feel comfortable with you." he smiled looking over at her.

"I'm glad. I feel comfortable with you too." she smiled squeezing his hand.

"So, tell me something else about yourself." he smiled playing with her hair.

"I'm scared of you. I mean, not scared of you as a person, but I'm scared of where this is gonna lead. I come off as this tough rocker chic, but on the inside I'm scared to death. I don't want to get hurt. But I still want to experience things that normal girls my age get to experience, you know?" she confessed looking up at him as tears brimmed her blue eyes again.

"I know what you mean. I'm scared too. But a couple of really close friends taught me something." he said taking her face in his hands.

"What's that?" she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"Life is too short. Especially ours. If we live our lives in fear, we won't be living our lives at all. It's because of them I'm here with you now." he said looking down at her.

"How do we go about living our lives despite our fear?" she asked looking up at him.

"Well that's the hard part, isn't it? Um... maybe we can do it together. If you want to." he said looking down at her.

"OK. I'd um... I'd really like that. Thanks Roger." she smiled looking up at him as a tear escaped from the corner of her eye.

"No, thank you Keel." he whispered looking down at her before reaching his thumb up to catch her fallen tear.

"For what?" she asked looking up at him.

"Trusting me." he smiled before kissing her forehead.

"Well you're easy to talk to." she smiled looking up at him as they continued to talk. It was sunrise by the time Roger got home to the loft. Mark and Collins were sitting up drinking coffee.

"And where have you been all night?" Collins taunted smiling over at him.

.

"I was at Keely's place. We went on a date and then we were talking all night." he smiled looking over at him.

"Keely, huh? So tell us about this Keely girl. What are her intentions?" Mark teased as Collins laughed.

"You two think you're hilarious, don't you?" he smirked before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I don't know. Are we hilarious Marky?" Collins laughed looking over at Mark.

"I think so." he laughed looking up at him.

"You two are such dorks." Roger laughed looking over at them.

"So, tell us about her." Collins pushed looking over at him.

"Well her name is Keely O'Reilly, she's irish. Obviously. Incredibly talented and she's really great. She has the most awesome hair and her eyes knock me on my ass whenever I look into them. And she's a great photographer. You should see her pictures Mark. They're great. And she got me on stage for the first time in years the other night and she wants me to do it again." he smiled sitting on the stool at the metal counter.

"You're singing again? That's awesome Roger." Collins smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah. I'm pretty excited about it too." he smiled looking over at him.

"And she's a photographer? Wow. She should fit right in with this bunch." Mark smiled looking over at him.

"She's a dancer and an actress too. She owns part of a little dance school here in the Village. She teaches ballet. Oh and she plays guitar. She's incredible." he smiled excitedly looking over at him.

"Oh really? Your fantasy girl." Collins laughed looking over at him.

"And you're falling for her?" Mark asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I've only known her like a week and we haven't even kissed yet, but I can see myself falling for her." he smiled looking over at them.

"You haven't kissed her yet?" Collins asked looking over at him.

"She's scared and she wants to take things slow." he said looking over at them.

"Did you tell her about...?" Mark asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I did. Um guys... she is too." he said looking down.

"Oh man, I'm really sorry Roger." Mark said looking over at him.

"Yeah, she's been positive for 4 years. That's why she's scared." he said looking over at them.

"We're really sorry Roger." Collins said looking over at him.

"Don't be. I'm not. She's great. I like her a lot and I like being with her." he smiled looking down at his feet.

"When do we meet her?" Collins asked putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Well she's supposed to call me when she's done with her class so we can hook up. Do you guys wanna come?" he asked putting his coffee cup in the sink.

"That sounds great Roger. We'd love to meet your girl." Collins said smiling at him.

"Cool. I'm gonna go get some sleep. Me and Keely were up all night taking and I'm really tired. I'll call Keely later and we'll hook up at the Life Cafe. Just call the girls, OK?" he smiled looking over at him.

"Up all night talking? Are you sure that's all you were doing?" Collins asked looking over at him.

"Yeah. We um... we want to take things slow. I mean, with both of us positive, it makes sense." he said looking over at him. "I'm gonna go to bed now. See you guys in a few hours."

"Sure Rog. We understand." Mark smiled as Roger went into his room, shutting the door behind him. "Did you hear that? He's singing again and he's got a new girl." he smiled looking over at Collins.

"Yeah Mark, I heard. Let's call the girls and make a party of it. This deserves a celebration." Collins smiled going into his room.

"Yeah it does." Mark smiled looking over at Roger's bedroom door.


	30. Chapter 30

Later that day

"Are you ready Keel?" Roger asked looking down at Keely as they stood outside the cafe.

"Yeah, I think so. I just hope they're not gonna look at me as the girl who's about to take their friend away." she said looking up at him.

"They would never think that Keel. Just give them a chance. You guys are gonna really like each other." he smiled looking down at her.

"I hope so." she said nervously before they entered the cafe.

"Everybody, this is Keely. Keely, this is… well everybody." Roger laughed introducing Keely to the bohemians.

"Hi everyone. It's really nice to meet you. Roger told me all about you guys last night." she smiled looking over at them.

"It's very nice to meet you Keely. Anyone who can get Roger back on stage is a friend to us." Mimi smiled standing up to shake her hand.

"I'm hoping to get him back on stage for good. I mean, for more than a one night engagement." she smiled looking up at him.

"I told you I'd think about it Baby." he smiled with his arm around her.

"Baby, huh?" she smiled turning around to look up at him.

"Yeah, um... I hope you don't mind me calling you that." he smiled looking down at her.

"No, I um... I like it coming from you." she smiled looking up at him nervously as the others happily watched them.

"Good, because I like having you be my baby." he smiled reaching out to caress her cheek.

"Ahem, excuse me you two, remember us? Hi Collins. Tom Collins." Collins teased leaning over to shake Keely's hand.

"Um... yeah, sorry." Keely laughed looking over at him. "It's really nice to meet you Tom. Um... so, what's everyone's deal." she smiled directing her attention to the others.

"Well, we're Roger's roommates. That's Mark and you can just call me Collins. Everyone else does. Mark's our resident film maker and token lonely guy. I'm a professor at NYU and the token gay guy. Those two are our token lesbians. That's Mark's ex Maureen and her current flame Joanne. Maureen's a performance artist and Joanne's our lawyer. And..." Collins started when Mimi interrupted him.

"And I'm Roger's ex girlfriend Mimi. I'm a dancer and a student at NYU. I'm really happy to meet you." she smiled looking up at him.

"I hear you convinced Roger to ask me out. I guess I owe you a big thank you Mimi." Keely smiled looking over at her as Roger held her in his arms.

"No thanks is necessary. It's my pleasure to see Roger happy like this. I hear you're a dancer too. Maybe we can get together sometime and burn up some floor." Mimi smiled as Roger smiled down at Keely.

"I'd like that." she smiled as the women talked. Roger smiled at them as the door opened. It was Allison.

"Allie, I'm glad you came." Roger smiled getting up to hug and kiss on the cheek.

"How could I not come? You called and said you wanted me to have lunch with you and your new girlfriend. How could I say no? Hi Keely. It's nice to see you again." she smiled hugging him.

"It's really nice to see you again too Allie." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Hey Allie." Collins smiled looking over at her.

"Hi guys. I um... I hope you don't mind me coming. It's just... Roger called me and said he wanted me to..." she started when Mimi stood up and went to her.

"It's OK Allie. You belong here. We're all friends here. We're glad you could come. Why don't you come sit next to me?" she smiled as Allison sat down and everyone talked and laughed.

"So, Maureen and Joanne find me on Christmas Eve and I ask them to bring me to the loft to see Roger. They do and he sings the most beautiful song to me. I literally almost died that night, but he saved me. From everything. Most of all from myself. He nursed me back to health for the next 6 months. I would probably be dead without him." Mimi smiled looking over at Roger and Keely.

"You did as much as I did Mimi. More even." Roger smiled looking over at Mimi.

"Um... I'm gonna go play some songs on the juke box. I'll be right back." Keely smiled faintly looking up at Roger.

"Are you OK Keel?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm um... I'm fine. I just um... I want to play some music." she smiled before getting up and going towards the juke box.

"Is she OK? I didn't mean to say anything to upset her." Mimi said looking over at Roger.

"It's OK. I'll be right back." Roger told everyone before following her across the room. "Keely, what's the matter?" he asked standing next to her.

"Nothing. I'm um... I'm fine. I just thought it would be fun to um... to hear some music. So what do you want to hear?" she asked putting on a brave face.

"Listen, I know they can be a lot to handle. I should have prepared you better. But they seem to like you." he said looking down at her as she scrolled through the collection of music on the juke box.

"No, it's not that. They're great. Really. It's just... you really took care of Mimi when she needed you, didn't you?" she asked looking up at him.

"I had to. I mean, Angel had just died and I didn't want to lose her too. I was in love with her." he said turning around to lean against the juke box.

"Do you still love her?" she asked looking up at him.

"No. Keel, you have to believe me. I still care about her, but as a friend." he insisted standing up straight.

"How do I know that Roger? How do I know that I'm not the rebound girl for you? What if she decides she wants you back? Where is that gonna leave me? Where is that gonna leave us?" she asked looking up at him.

"I like you Keely. I have feelings for you. I thought you felt it too." he said reaching out to take her by her shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

"I do, but I don't want to get hurt Roger? I mean, the way she talks about you and what you did for her..." she asked before her sentence was shortened. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips taking her by surprise. "Um... Roger...I..." she whispered unable to finish. She looked into his eyes.

"I have feelings for you Keely. I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." he whispered looking into her blue eyes.

"I have feelings for you too Roger." she smiled looking into his green eyes. She clutched the front of his tank top and pulled him into another kiss. This one was deeper and more intense.

"Do you see what I see?" Mark asked looking over at Roger and Keely kissing at the juke box.

"Yep. It's gonna be a long summer." Collins smiled looking over at them as the group continued hanging out.

"A good one, from the looks of it." Mimi smiled looking over at them.


	31. Chapter 31

A few days later

"So, I talked to Oliver and guess what?" she called out rushing into the bar carrying her guitar case.

"What?" he asked smiling down at her.

"We decided that it would be awesome if I did that Melissa Ethridge song. Isn't that amazing? And he said if I wanted to, I could play my guitar more." she smiled looking up at him excitedly.

"That's awesome Keel." he smiled looking down at her. "Tommy's in the office." he whispered leaning towards her.

"Oh OK." she mouthed. "Um... Roger, can you do me a favor? I don't know how to tune my guitar and you do. Can you help me?" she asked looking up at him seeing Tommy come out of the office just off the bar.

"Sure. I'll be right back Tommy. I gotta help Keely with her guitar." he said looking over at him trying to act casual.

"Yeah, sure thing Rog. Hey Keely." Tommy smiled looking down at her.

"Hey Tommy. Oliver wants me to do that Melissa Etheridge song you like. And I'm gonna play guitar too. Isn't that awesome?" she asked excitedly as Roger brought the guitar to the back room to plug it into one of the tuners he knew were back there.

"That's great Keel." he smiled wiping his hands on a towel.

"I'm gonna see if Roger can teach me how to tune the damn thing. I'll see you later." she smiled before bouncing to the back room.

"Yeah, sure Keel." he laughed as she disappeared into the back room.

"Oh my God. I'm so excited." Keely called out quietly as she jumped into Roger's arms.

"I'm so proud of you Babe." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Hey." she smiled seductively looking into Roger's green eyes.

"Baby, I gotta get this thing tuned for you." he smiled before leaning down to kiss her.

"What do I look like, a helpless female? I know how to tune a damn guitar. Oliver taught me when I was like 14. I was just using that as an excuse to get you alone so we can do this." she laughed pulling him into another passionate kiss. He tightened his grip around her waist her and picked her up deepening their kiss.

"You are a very evil woman." he laughed looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"But if I wasn't evil, you wouldn't be doing this with your girlfriend right now." she laughed between kisses.

"You are an evil genius." he smiled holding her in his arms.

"I know." she smiled looking up at him.

"I'm really proud of you Baby. I can't wait to see you up there." he smiled looking down at her.

"It'll be a real turn on for you, huh?" she teased looking up at him.

"Mmm, evil." he whispered leaning down to kiss her.

"Mhm." she giggled kissing him again.

"I gotta get back out there. Tommy's gonna get suspicious if we spend too much time back here alone. Don't come out right after me, OK?" he told her lifting his hand to caress her soft cheek.

"OK Baby. Oh, one more thing before you go." she smiled leaning up to kiss him again. It was slow and deep. "Mmm, That's gonna have to hold you big boy. My place later. There's a lot more where that came from." she smiled seductively again before kissing him again.

"Evil. Evil woman." he laughed straightening his shirt and getting ready to go back out to the bar.

"Yep." she whispered laughing to herself.

"So did you get Keely's guitar tuned?" Tommy asked looking over at Roger, who was smiling

"Uh... yeah. It was just the standard tuning. It um... it wasn't that difficult." he answered as he continued with his work.

"Right." Tommy smiled looking over at him as they continued their work.

* * *

4 days later

"Hi Roger. Hi Tommy." Keely smiled as she bounced into the bar a few days later.

"Hi Keel." he smiled as she walked past him. "I missed you." he mouthed looking down at her as she smiled back at him before going to the back of the bar.

"What was that?" Tommy asked looking up at Roger.

"What was what?" he asked looking over at him acting innocent.

"Is there something going on between you and Keely?" he asked looking over at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Roger said looking at Keely out of the corner of his eye so Tommy wouldn't notice.

"I saw that. There is something going on between you two, isn't there?" he asked looking over at him.

"You're delusional old man." he laughed shrugging off his bosses accusation.

"Come on Roger, I'm an old man. Throw me a friggin' bone here." he pleaded looking over at him.

"Fine. If you must know yes, we are. Are you happy now, you nosey old bastard?" he laughed looking over at him.

"I knew it. You guys were a little too chummy to be just 'friends'. Why didn't you tell me?" he asked looking over at him.

"We're taking things slow and wanted to keep things low key for now. We didn't want to make a big deal about it." he smiled looking over sat him.

"But it is a big deal Roger. You guys are meant for each other. I'm really happy for you." he smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty happy too." he smiled watching Keely walked briskly towards the bar.

"Roger, can I talk to you for a minute? Um… about my guitar." Keely asked standing behind the bar trying to play it cool in front of Tommy.

"It's OK Baby. He knows." he smiled leaning down to kiss her in front of everyone.

"Hi Keely." Tommy teased as Roger wrapped his arms around her.

"Um... hi." she laughed looking up at him as she held on to Roger's arms. "We're in trouble, aren't we?"

"Yeah Baby. I think that's a safe bet." he laughed looking down at her.

"I'm happy for you guys, really. I always knew you should be together. Didn't I tell you Roger?" he smiled looking over at them.

"Yeah, you told me Tommy. Um... listen, the gang's coming tonight, I was thinking maybe we could hang out after the show. If that's OK with you." he smiled looking down at her.

"Of course it's OK Roger. You know I always have fun with them." she smiled up at him.

"Yeah I know. You and Mimi are gonna be trouble, aren't you?" he asked leaning down to kiss her again.

"We're both dancers, so I think that's a given." she laughed looking up into his green eyes.

"Hey Davis. Do you think you could let go of your girl and serve some drinks tonight?" Tommy teased smiling over at them.

"Ugh, he's gonna be a bigger pain in the ass now, isn't he?" he laughed looking down into her eyes.

"I'm afraid so Baby." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, sure anything for you Tommy. I gotta go Baby. I'll see you later." he laughed kissing her again.

"Do you think you're up to singing with me again tonight?" she asked looking up at him.

"Anything for my girl." he smiled reaching up to caress her face.

"Are you serious? Tell me you're serious." she asked in disbelief.

"I couldn't be more serious. I'd love to sing with my girl again." he smiled staring into her blue eyes.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh Baby, this is gonna be so awesome. I'm gonna tell the guys. I'll see you later." she smiled before leaning up to kiss him before rushing to the back of the bar to set up the stage.

"So, you and Keel, huh?" Tommy teased looking over at Roger.

"Oh shut up. I thought you'd be happy. You've been wanting it to happen since I walked back in here." he smiled taking a bottle of beer out of the fridge before taking the cap off and giving it to the customer at the bar.

"Longer actually. You look happy. Happier than I've ever seen you." he smiled looking over at him as Roger wiped the bar.

"I am. I mean, I like her a lot." he smiled watching Keely.

"I can tell. Good for you. So what have you two been doing?" Tommy asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, we've been doing the whole dinner and a movie thing. And then we go back to her place and talk all night. We're just getting to know each other. It's really nice." he smiled as Keely ran up to the bar.

"Baby, the guys wanted me to come over and make sure you're really you're up for singing tonight? I don't want to push you." she smiled looking up at him.

"Like I said, anything for my girl." he smiled leaning over the bar to kiss her.

"Yay. I'll go tell them. I can't wait." she cheered leaning up to kiss him before rushing back to the stage.

"You're really back, aren't you?" Tommy asked looking over at him.

"Yeah Tommy, thanks to Keely, I'm really back." he smiled looking up to watch Keely set up.

"That's really cool Rog. It's good to have you back. I missed you man." he smiled as he walked away to serve some drinks as the door opened.

"Me too Tommy." he smiled looking down.

"Who do I have to sleep with to get a drink around here?" Mimi asked walking into the bar with Maureen and Joanne in tow.

"Hey Mimi. I'm glad you can make it." he asked smiling down at her.

"Is Keely here yet?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, she's right by the stage. She talked me into singing again." he smiled looking down at her.

"That's my girl. I'm gonna go over and say hi. Stay out of trouble while I'm gone Davis." she smiled leaning up to hug him.

"I have a feeling you two are the ones I should be saying that to." he laughed as Mimi bounced to the back of the bar to see Keely.

"They really like each other, huh?" Maureen smiled looking up at Roger.

"Well Keel has that affect on people. Plus they're both dancers, so then there's that." he smiled watching them.

"Hi Mimi. I'm really glad you guys could make it." Keely smiled stepping off of the stage to hug her.

"So I hear you got him to perform with you again." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah well, he would do anything for his girl and I just took advantage of it." she laughed looking over at her.

"Good girl. Anything that gets Roger back onstage, I'm all for." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"He's too talented not to be up there, you know?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know what you mean Keel." she smiled looking over at her.

"Hey Keel. Who's your friend?" Oliver asked looking over at her.

"Oh um… Mimi, I would like to introduce you to my band. This is my cousin Oliver, and that's Drew, Seth, Danny and Cody. Guys, this is Mimi. She's one of Roger's friends and now she's my friend too." Keely asked looking over at Mimi.

"Hi Mimi, it's really um… really nice to meet you." Oliver smiled holding his hand out to her.

"It's really nice to meet you too." she smiled looking up at him.

"Hey, what is my girl doing?" Roger asked running up behind her, before easily picking her up by her waist as the rest of the bohemians followed behind him.

"Roger, you're gonna mess up my hair. I have to be on stage in a half an hour." she squealed as Roger held her close.

"You two are so cute. Aren't they cute Pookie?" Maureen asked smiling at Joanne taking her hand in hers.

"Very cute." Joanne laughed looking back at her.

"OK you guys. Enough play. I have to go back to work and Keely has to get ready to go on. See you later Baby." he smiled leaning down to kiss Keely before going back to the bar.

"We can't wait to see you perform Keely. Roger seems really smitten with you." Joanne smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, the feeling is mutual." she told her quietly before looking down at her sandaled feet. "Um... I gotta get ready to go on. I'll see you after my first set." she smiled looking over at Roger before turning to get back on the stage.

"OK Keely. We'll see you later." Joanne smiled looking over at her before turning towards Mimi who was smiling at Oliver. "Are you OK Mimi?"

"Yeah, I've never been more OK. It's nice to see Roger like this." she smiled looking over at her.

"Don't worry sweetie. We'll find you someone too." Maureen smiled putting her arm around Mimi's shoulder as Oliver smiled at her as she walked away.

"I already had my someone. Now it's his turn." she smiled watching Roger watch Keely.

"Hey everyone. As you know we're Alienated and we have an amazing show in store for you tonight. I have some special friends here, so let's get rockin'." Keely smiled addressing the crowded bar. As the music started she took the microphone off of it's stand and smiled at Roger, who was standing behind the bar beaming with pride.

"Hey stranger." Allison smiled as she stood in front of the bar watching Roger watch Keely.

"Allie, I'm so glad you could make it. Where's Benny?" he asked looking over at her.

"Stayed home. I didn't want him to come anyway. He's such an ass hole these days." she said looking over at him.

"I'm sorry. I hope it's not because of us." he said leaning on the bar in front of her.

"No, it's because of him. Um… it's complicated." she told him vaguely.

"I'm really sorry Allie. I hope talking to us again isn't messing things up with you and Benny." he said taking her hand in his.

"Don't worry about it Roger. If he can't take the fact that I'm friends with you guys again, he can screw off. I deserve a life too." she said looking over at him.

"You know, if there's anything you need, I'm here for you. We all are. We love you Allie." he smiled lifting his hand to caress her cheek.

"Thanks Roger, I know. You guys were always the best friends I ever had. You never wanted anything from me. Just to be my friends. That meant a lot to me. Benny doesn't understand. He just thinks you guys want something from me." she said leaning towards him on the bar.

"We do. We want you to be happy and to know that you're not alone." he smiled leaning over to kiss her head.

"Thanks sweetie. That means a lot to me." she smiled as they directed their attention to Keely who had been singing. "Um… Keely is really amazing. You must be in your glory right now." she smiled looking up at him.

"I am." he smiled as they watched Keely up there singing.

_Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
That's O.K., lets see how you do it  
Put up your dukes, let's get down to it!  
_

_Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!_

_You come on with your come-ons, you don't fight fair  
That's O.K., see if I care!  
Knock me down, it's all in vain  
I'll get right back on my feet again!_

_Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!_

_Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case  
You better make sure you put me in my place_

_Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Come On, Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!_

_Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away! _

"Allie's here." Mimi smiled looking over at Maureen.

"Good. I missed her." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, she's not as bad as Benny made her out to be." she said looking over at her as she and Roger watched Keely.

"Benny's an ass. She always deserved better than him." Maureen smiled looking over at her as Keely finished her song.

"Keely really is perfect for Roger, isn't she?" Mimi asked looking up at Maureen.

"See for yourself. Check out the way he looks at her." Maureen pointed out as they looked back towards the bar and smiled seeing how Roger was looking at Keely.

"Good." Mimi smiled cheering for Keely.

"Roger wasn't kidding, she's incredible." Collins yelled over the cheering crowd to Mark.

"Yeah, no wonder why he's drawn to her. She's the female version of him." Mark laughed looking up at him.

"Now I'm gonna do something a bit different. All the credit goes to my boyfriend. Without him, I would have never had the courage to do this. I hope you like it." she smiled flipping her hair back and leaning back for her guitar. As she put it on, Roger's smiled got wider. He folded his arms across his chest and looked on with pride. She strummed the guitar to the as she approached the microphone.

"You're girl is something else." Allison smiled looking over at him.

"You're telling me." he smiled watching her.

_Please baby can't you see_

_My minds a burnin' hell  
_

_I got razors a rippin' and tearin' and strippin'  
_

_My heart apart as well  
_

_Tonight you told me__That you ache for something new  
_

_And some other woman is lookin' like something  
_

_That might be good for you_

_Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone  
_

_Go on believe her when she tells you  
_

_Nothing's wrong  
_

_But I'm the only one  
_

_Who'll walk across the fire for you  
_

_And I'm the only one  
_

_Who'll drown in my desire for you  
_

_It's only fear that makes you run  
_

_The demons that you're hiding from  
_

_When all your promises are gone  
_

_I'm the only one_

_Please baby can't you see  
_

_I'm trying to explain  
_

_I've been here before and I'm locking the door  
_

_And I'm not going back again  
_

_Her eyes and arms and skin won't make  
_

_It go away  
_

_You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow  
_

_That holds you down today_

_Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone  
_

_Go on believe her when she tells you  
_

_Nothing's wrong  
_

_But I'm the only one  
_

_Who'll walk across the fire for you  
_

_And I'm the only one  
_

_Who'll drown in my desire for you  
_

_It's only fear that makes you run  
_

_The demons that youre hiding from  
_

_When all your promises are gone  
_

_I'm the only one _

_Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone  
_

_Go on believe her when she tells you  
_

_Nothing's wrong  
_

_But I'm the only one  
_

_Who'll walk across the fire for you  
_

_And I'm the only one  
_

_Who'll drown in my desire for you  
_

_It's only fear that makes you run  
_

_The demons that youre hiding from  
_

_When all your promises are gone  
_

_I'm the only one _

_I'm the only one babe_

_I'm the only one_

_Ain't nobody else gonna love you like I do._

"Yeah Baby." Roger yelled raising his arms above his head clapping as loud as he could.

"Wow." Alison laughed clapping for Keely.

"Wow." Collins smiled looking up at Keely.

"Yeah." Mark laughed looking back at Roger who was still cheering.

"She is his perfect girl, isn't she?" Mimi asked looking over at Maureen.

"Yeah Honey, I think she is." she smiled putting her arm around Mimi's shoulder.

"Good. I'd hate to think I let him go for someone who wasn't meant for him." she smiled looking over at Roger who was smiling from ear to ear, cheering on his girl.

"Baby that was incredible." Roger called out running out from behind the bar to pick her up into his arms spinning her around.

"Well, I owe it all to you. Without you, I never would have had the guts to try it." she smiled holding on to him.

"No way Baby. That was all you." he smiled leaning into kiss her. "Wasn't my girl amazing?" Roger asked putting her down as everyone came up to them.

"You were incredible Keely. No wonder why Roger's drawn to you." Mark laughed looking up at her.

"Yeah, he's always had a soft spot for a chick who can rock out and play a mean axe." Collins laughed looking over at her.

"Well thanks guys, but get ready for my man to blow this place apart." she smiled looking up at Roger with pride as they hung out waiting for the next set to start.

"I have no doubt about that." Alison smiled watching them as she stood next to Mimi.

* * *

"Roger, you really were amazing tonight. I think you were better than last week. Tonight was your night." Keely smiled sitting on the other side of the bar as Roger cleaned up.

"No way. Tonight was definitely your night Baby. That song came out amazing." he smiled looking over at her.

"That's only because I was playing guitar. You like chicks who play guitar." she laughed looking up at him.

"That's not the only thing I like." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Oh yeah? Maybe you can tell me more about what you like later at my place." she laughed looking up at him inches from his face.

"Oh, I plan on it." he whispered leaning on the bar in front of her

"Mmm, sounds like a plan to me." she giggled looking into his green eyes. "Um… I'm sorry everyone had to leave so early. I was looking forward to spending more time with everyone." she said looking up into his eyes.

"I'm not. It gives me time alone with my girl." he smiled reaching over to caress her face with his hand.

"Is everything OK with Allie? She looked like something was bothering her tonight." she said looking over at him.

"It's just her husband. He used to be one of my best friends, but he changed. He's not happy with her hanging out with us again." he said looking down at her.

"I'm sorry Roger. Is there anyway you can talk to him and maybe bury the hatchet? For Allie's sake?" she asked looking up at him.

"I've been thinking about it. I miss all of us being together, you know? Hanging out like we used to." he said looking over at her.

"Maybe you should. I hate seeing her like that." she said running her fingers through her hair.

"Me too Baby." he smiled looking down at her.

"Did you see how Oliver was looking at Mimi tonight?" she smiled.

"Yeah, what was going on there?" he asked smiling at her.

"I don't know, but I think Oliver likes her." she smiled looking over at him.

"Maybe." he said wiping down the bar.

"Would that bother you? Oliver dating your ex girlfriend?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course not Baby. I'm over Mimi. I mean, yeah I still love her, but she's more like a sister to me now. And besides, I'm with you. I just want Mimi to be happy." he said stopping to look down at her. "Listen, why don't you let me finish cleaning up here and I can walk you home, OK?" he smiled looking over at her.

"OK Baby." she smiled sitting on the stool waiting for Roger to finish up. "Um... Roger, the guys wanted me to ask you something." Keely asked looking up at him as she finished her beer.

"What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Well, the guys and I have been talking about this and we all agreed to this, and you know me and Oliver. We never agree on anything, so it's got to be big, right? Well they want you to join the band. Full time. You and me sing really good together and maybe when you're up to it, you could sing alone. I'd love to sing back up for you." she asked looking up at him.

"I don't know Keely. I mean, we've talked about this. I don't think it's a good idea." he said looking down at her.

"But Roger, you're so good. I hate to see you just singing one song with me." she said looking up at him.

"But it's your band. And anyway I happen to like singing with my girlfriend. I've been the lead singer in a band and I screwed it up. I don't want to make that mistake again." he told her leaning on the bar.

"You won't. Roger, a lot happened back then. You're older and wiser and more importantly, you got me. I would be honored to sing back up for you." she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"Ugh. You are an evil woman. Whenever you tell me I can do something, I feel like I can?" he groaned throwing his head back.

"Because you can. You just need a little extra push." she smiled before getting off of the bar stool to go towards the back room.

"You know, no one likes a woman who thinks she knows everything." he called after her as she walked away from him.

"Apparently you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't be need me in your life." she yelled back laughing as he watched her.

A/N: I know I've been spelling Alison wrong. Jonathan Larson spells it with one L and I've been spelling it with two. Well I type really fast, so I tend to spell things the way I know how to spell them. The conventional way to spell Allison is with two L's. I'm trying to edit them all of my Allison's to take out the second L, but if I miss a few, don't persecute me. Also, Roger and Alison never had a thing. They love each other as friends. That's it. Just clearing that up. Also, if you watch the OSG flashback in the movie, April's last name is indeed spelled Erikson, not Ericcson. I've seen the movie nearly 400 times. I should know. As you probably know Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar was the first song Keely sung and the second one is I'm The Only One by Melissa Etheridge. It's one of my favorite songs. Melissa Etheridge is an amazing artist. I'm probably gonna be slowing down my updates because I still have some editing to do. I realized that my chapters were really long and I'm trying to cut them down. I know I've been updating a lot today, so I hope that holds you over til tomorrow or something.

Renthead621


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: This is a goofy chapter. I like showing Roger's goofy side. Especially since Adam Pascal is goofy and he will always be my vision of Roger. I hope you like it.

Renthead621

A few weeks later

"Hey Keel, I was wondering if you wanted to come over and maybe hang out. You know, just us girls. Allie, Maureen and Joanne are coming too." Mimi asked sitting on the chair by the phone in her apartment.

"You want me to hang out? With you, Allie, Maureen, and Joanne? Like I'm one of the girls?" she asked surprised sitting on the couch with her guitar on her lap.

"Yeah, I mean, you are one of the girls, you know? You're dating Roger which makes you one of us." she smiled as Maureen smiled at her.

"I would really like that. Thanks. Um... I have to teach a class in a little while, but I'll be over right after. Say in like 2 hours?" Keely smiled into her cell phone.

"Great. We'll see you then." Mimi smiled excitedly looking over at Maureen and Joanne.

"OK, I'll see you guys then. Bye." she smiled before closing her phone. She opened the phone again and called the loft.

"Hello." Mark answered standing by the desk.

"Hey Mark, it's me, is Roger there?" she asked folding her legs under her.

"Yeah sure Keel. Hang on." he smiled putting the phone to his chest. She could hear him yell for him. "Rog, phone. It's Keel." he yelled as she heard Roger run across the loft.

"Hey Baby. What's up?" he asked putting the phone to his ear.

"Hi Baby. Um... Mimi just called me. She asked if I wanted to come over to her place and hang out with her, Allie, Maureen and Joanne." she smiled.

"Are you gonna go?" he asked sitting down on the chair.

"Um... I was thinking I would, yeah. Why? You don't think I should?" she asked concerned.

"No, you should definitely go. The girls have been complaining about wanting to get to know you better without me hanging around all the time. It should be fun." he smiled as Mark smiled at him making tea.

"OK. Um... maybe afterwards I can meet you at the bar and we can hang out." she smiled looking down.

"Tonight's usually our slow night so I'm gonna try getting off early, maybe I can stop by Mimi's and pick you up? We can go out for a late dinner or something." he suggested smiling.

"That sounds great Baby. Um... I have to start getting ready for class so I'll see you later." she smiled getting up from the couch.

"OK Baby, I'll see you later. Bye." he smiled.

"Bye Roger." she smiled closing her phone to get ready.

* * *

"Keely, you're here. OK, now, you need to be sworn to secrecy." Mimi smiled dragging Keely into the apartment to the couch as Alison, Maureen and Joanne nodded.

"Um... OK, what are you talking about?" Keely laughed as they sat on the couch.

"We always have one night a week when we like to watch lame movies. The guys don't know what we do. All they know is that we fall off the radar for one night when they can't get in touch with us. They cannot know that we watch lame movies. We'd never hear the end of it." Mimi said looking over at her.

"Are you kidding? I love lame movies. Especially from the 80's." she laughed looking up at her. "I swear, I won't tell a soul. Not even Roger." she smiled looking over at her. "Oh, I hope it won't be a problem, but Roger's gonna come by to pick me up later. We have a date." she smiled looking over at them.

"No, it's cool. The movie should be over by then." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"I hope so. You know how taunting Roger could be." Allison laughed looking over at them.

"I never noticed that. At least not with me." Keely smiled kicking her shoes off and putting them under the coffee table.

"So, you guys are getting along really good, huh?" Mimi smiled curling her feet under her legs.

"Yeah, I like being with him. He's funny, sweet, and an amazing kisser." she laughed looking over at them.

"You're telling me." Mimi laughed looking over at her.

"I love that thing he does with his..." Keely smiled looking over at Mimi.

"I know and when he puts one hand..." Mimi giggled when Keely interrupted her.

"Oh my God, I feel like I'm gonna melt." Keely smiled sinking down into the couch.

"This is nauseating." Maureen smiled looking over at them.

"What? Is it our fault we dated the sexiest man alive? And the most amazing kisser on the planet." Keely laughed looking over at her.

"Oh yeah, she fits in perfectly." Mimi laughed raising her hand to slap Keely five.

"He always struck me as a very passionate lover." Allson smiled sitting back in the chair as Maureen, Joanne, Mimi and Keely stared at her. "What? He did." she smiled as everyone laughed.

"Yeah well, he's all Keely's now." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah well, I wouldn't know what kind of lover he is." Keely told them as her smile faded..

"Really?" Allison asked looking over at her.

"Um... no, we haven't um... we haven't yet." she said looking over at her.

"Chica, take as much time as you guys need." Mimi said looking over at her.

"I just want to take things slow with him. I mean... with our HIV and the way I feel about him... it's complicated." she said looking up at them.

"It's OK Chica. It's a valid concern." Mimi said looking over at her.

"I just don't want to hurt him." she said looking over at her.

"You won't Keely. You and Roger are not stupid." Alison smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah I know. But I'm just scared, you know? Oh um... I'm sorry. You invited me over here to hang out and have fun, and I'm here dragging you down." she said looking around the room at them.

"You're not dragging us down Keely. I mean, we're gonna lose you, Roger, Collins and Mimi before all of this is over. We 're all just trying to make the best of the time we have with you guys." Maureen said looking over at her.

"I've never really had friends before like you before. This is all pretty new to me." she said looking over at her.

"Trust me. It's pretty damn cool." Alison smiled looking over at Mimi, Maureen and Joanne.

"I'm noticing that." Keely smiled looking around at everyone.

"We understand, but you can't say that anymore because we're your friends too Keely. We're a package deal. You start dating Roger and you get us. I hope that doesn't scare you too much." Joanne laughed looking over at her.

"No, actually I like it. I appreciate you guys wanting to get to know me. I was afraid that you would look at me as the woman who's gonna take Roger away from you and... I don't know. I didn't think you'd want to hang out with me without Roger." she said looking over at her.

"We could never think that chica. Roger's happiness is our happiness. He deserves to be happy and you do that for him. That's all we ever wanted for him." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"I know I've never seen him as happy as he is with you." Alison smiled looking over at her.

"He makes me happy too. I've never been with anyone like him." she smiled looking over at Mimi.

"And we've never known anyone like you either. You're pretty great too Keel." Joanne smiled squeezing Keely hand.

"Thank you Joanne." she smiled looking over at her new friends. "OK, enough of this. how about we watch that movie now?" she laughed looking over at them.

"OK, just press play on the VCR. I want the movie to be over by the time Roger gets here. I don't want to catch any shit from him." Joanne laughed sinking into the couch too.

"OK, here goes." Maureen smiled pressing play on the remote control.

"Oh my God, is this what I think it is?" Keely laughed as the movie started. It opened with the waves crashing into rocks and the intro to Love Is A Many Splendored Thing played.

"If you're thinking it's Grease, you're right." Maureen smiled folding her legs underneath her.

"Oh my God, this is one of my favorite movies of all time. Benny hates it." Alison laughed looking over at Mimi.

"Yeah well, no offense, but Benny is an ass." Mimi said looking over at her.

"You don't have to tell me. I married that ass." she said looking down into her lap.

"Hey Allie, it's gonna be OK. You're not alone anymore either." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks Mimi. Strangely, that means a lot coming from you." she smiled as they settled in to watch the movie.

"I totally love this movie. I haven't seen it in so long. I wore out my copy years ago and have been too lazy to get another one." Keely smiled sitting on the couch in Mimi's apartment as the movie started.

"Yeah, it's my guilty pleasure. No one but Maureen, Joanne and now you and Allie know I like this movie. I've seen it like a million times." Mimi laughed sitting on the couch next to her.

"Oh my God, if I start singing just nudge me. I have a tendency to do it unconsciously." Keely laughed looking over at her.

"Don't worry sweetie. We sing, recite the dialogue and do the dances. Let loose." Mimi smiled looking over at her as they watched the movie.

"Awesome." she laughed before leaning back into the couch.

* * *

"Y_ou better shape up. 'Cause I need a man. And my heart is set on you. You better shape up. You better understand._" Keely, Allie, Mimi, Maureen and Joanne sung as they danced around the apartment. Roger could hear them through the door. He arched his eyebrow before opening the door. They were dancing around and singing to Grease. They didn't seem to notice him enter the apartment.

"You have got to be kidding." Roger laughed leaning in the doorway with his arms folded across his muscular chest.

"Oh my God." Alison called out looking back at Roger surprised.

"Hi... um hi, Baby. How long have you been standing there?" Keely asked looking over at him as they all stopped dancing.

"Long enough to be able to blackmail each and every one of you if I had to." he laughed looking over at her.

"Come on Roger, it's Grease. Sing it with us. It's a classic." Keely laughed getting up to go to him.

"Yeah, um... I don't think so Keel." he laughed looking down at her.

"I know you know the words. Everyone knows the words. It's fun." she laughed rushing over to drag him into the apartment.

"I'm not singing this Keel." he insisted as he wrapped his arms around her waist as she threw her arms around his neck shaking her hips, dancing to the music singing.

"Don't be a party pooper Roger." Alison laughed looking up at him.

"_You're the one that I want. You are the one I want. Oooo Oooo Oooo. Honey the one that I want._ _ You are the one that I want. Oooo Ooooo. The one that I want. The one I need. Oh yes indeed." _she laughed as the other girls laughed along singing with her. "Come on Baby. You know you want to sing with us. I can see it boiling up inside you. Let it out. It'll make you feel really good. I promise." she coaxed looking up at him before slipping her hands out from around his neck and taking the front of his shirt in her hands and began singing seductively to him. "_If you're filled with affection. You are too shy to convey. Meditate my direction. Feel your way."_

"_I better shape up because you need a man." _Roger finally broke down starting to sing as he walked towards her.

"Oh lord." she laughed looking up at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist seeing that she was starting to stumble backwards. She was surprised that he was showing this side of himself to her, but it was all in fun. At first it was only because he knew the song, but then he really got into it. Mimi, Alison, Maureen and Joanne watched stunned. _"I need a man who can keep me satisfied." _she sang walking backward pulling him by the front of his shirt.

"_I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove." _ he laughed singing along following her.

"_You better prove, that my faith is justified." _she twirled taking both of his hands in hers and swiveling her hips.

"_Are you sure?" _he asked watching her beautiful long hair swirl in the air.

"_Yes I'm sure down deep inside." _she laughed dancing with him before he pulled her into his arms to kiss her.

"Yay!! Roger, we never knew you had it in you." Maureen laughed clapping for them as the movie played in the background.

"Yeah, and you still don't. Anyone hears about this, I'll deny it and then you're all dead." he laughed pointing his fingers at them as Keely laughed into his chest with her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I didn't know you were a Grease fan Baby. I was just teasing you." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah well, when I was a kid my mom liked to go to the movies to get away from my dad. She took me like 100 times. I can even do the hand jive if anyone's interested." he laughed looking down into her blue eyes.

"Oooh I wanna see. I wanna see." she laughed jumping up and down.

"Me too." Alison laughed looking over at them.

"I wanna see you do the Greased Lightening dance. That must be hilarious." Mimi called jumping on the couch on her knees.

"Maybe some other time. We gotta go Baby. I'm starving and I want to take the one that I want out on a date." he laughed looking down at her.

"OK Baby. Let me just get my shoes on." she laughed as he let her go so she could get her shoes from under the table in front of the couch.

"We had so much fun. Oh my God. We have to do this again." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah we do. Thank you so much for inviting me. Maybe next week we can watch Grease 2." she laughed looking up at Roger.

"Oh yeah, I love that movie." Alison laughed looking over at them.

"That movie sucked." he laughed looking over at her.

"Oh come on. It's just stupid enough to be awesome." Keely laughed looking over at him.

"Gimme a break. The T-birds wouldn't be caught dead bowling. And they would never be afraid of Crater face. Please. Who ever heard of that?" he said as the girls looked at him in disbelief before looking at each other and breaking into laughter.

"Um... OK on that note. I'll see you guys later. Thanks again." Keely laughed before getting up to hug everyone goodbye.

"Bye Keely. This was so awesome." Alison smiled hugging Keely good bye.

"Yeah, it was. I'll see you guys later." she smiled hugging Allison back.

"Bye Keel. Remember, lunch at the Life Cafe tomorrow. Just us girls." Joanne smiled looking up at her.

"I got it Jo. Thanks. See you guys tomorrow. Bye." she smiled before picking up her pocket book as Roger took her dance bag before leaving the apartment with Roger.

"What was that all about?" Roger asked looking down at her.

"What was what?" she asked looking up at him.

"Lunch tomorrow? Just you girls?" she asked looking down at her.

"Oh, that. Um.. they invited me to their once a week movie night and girls lunch. I mean, since the only time we're all together, you and me are all over each other, the girls and me just think that we should have one night in and one lunch out where we can just be girls. You know, watch lame movies and laugh like girls. I think it's a great idea. I like them. And they like me. They accept me for who I am. Not just because I'm your girlfriend." she smiled wrapping her arms around his waist.

"And why shouldn't they. You're awesome." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"That's what I'm saying." she laughed looking up into his green eyes.

"Good. I'm glad you guys are becoming friends. It means a lot to me that you guys want to get to know each other." he smiled holding her in his arms.

"Yeah, me too. You're really lucky. I've never had friends before. At least not friends like them. They accept me for who I am. The real me." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah, they are pretty great, huh?" he smiled looking down at her.

"Yeah, they really are. I really like Allie. She is really protective of you." she smiled.

"Yeah well, Allie saw me though a lot. She paid for my rehab and helped take care of me after I tried to OD. She means a lot to me." he smiled before leaning down to kiss her.

"She thinks a lot of you too." she smiled looking up at him.

"Oh yeah. I bet." he laughed looking down at her.

"You were really great in there. I love when you show that side of you." she laughed looking up at him.

"I've um... I've never shown that side of myself before. I don't know... there's something about you that makes me want to be silly with you." he smiled looking down at her.

"I like when you're silly." she laughed looking up into his green eyes.

"I mean it Keel, there's just something about you that makes me want to be myself. No bull shit. No games. Just me." he said looking down at her.

"I'm glad Roger. Because I want to know every part of you." she smiled kissing him before they went down the stairs to go to dinner.


	33. Chapter 33

Later that night

"It's getting late. I gotta go..." Roger started before she interrupted him.

"You don't have to go Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah I do. If I don't go now, I'll only wind up..." he said looking over at her.

"Wind up what?" she asked looking up at him.

"Going too far and hurting you." he said sitting up.

"I'm ready Roger." she said looking up at him as he played with her hair.

"Keel, I don't know if I am." he started as she leaned forward covering his lips with hers.

"Roger, I know we wanted to take things slow, but we've been dating for a while and things have been going really great between us. I'm ready to be with you." she said looking into his eyes.

"I just don't know if I am. Not yet." he said looking into her blue eyes.

"Roger, don't you want to be with me?" she asked looking into his green eyes as tears filled hers.

"Keely, you have no idea how much I wanna make love with you. It's just... I don't know. Um... I gotta go." he told her getting up from the couch.

"Roger, please don't go. Not like this." she said looking up at him.

"I have to Keel." he said looking down at her.

"You don't have to go Roger. Please don't go. Talk to me." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah I do. It's late and If I don't go now, I'll only... I'm sorry. I can't... I just can't. I'm um... I'm really sorry." he told her before leaving the apartment. As he entered the apartment building he stomped up the stairs towards the loft. Mimi was sitting up studying, so she got up and opened the door figuring it was Roger.

"Roger, are you just getting home? It's like 4 in the morning." she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah. Goodnight." he muttered starting up the stairs without looking down at her.

"Roger, what's the matter? What happened?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't want to talk about it." he told her as he continued up the stairs.

"Did something happen between you and Keely?" she asked concerned.

"No, but she'll probably break up with me anyway. I'm such an asshole. I can't believe how stupid I am." he told her stopping on the stairs.

"Roger, you're not making any sense. Why would Keely break up with you? What happened?" she asked looking up at him confused.

"Nothing happened Mimi. That's the problem Nothing ever happens because I'm a scared fucking asshole." he said turning around before walking past her into her apartment

"Roger Matthew Davis, I wish you would cut it out with talking in your damn code all the time and tell me what the hell happened between you and Keely. God, you are the most frustrating man on the planet." she yelled looking up at him.

"She wanted to... you know. But I was afraid. I left her in her damn apartment so I could fucking run away, as usual." he said looking over at her.

"You left her sitting in her apartment waiting for you to make a move and you walked out? Are you a moron?" Mimi asked pacing around her apartment.

"Yeah, thank you Mimi, I already know I fucked up. I don't need the color commentary." he said looking over at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you were gonna stop your running scared routine with her." she asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. Things are different with her. I mean, I'm falling in love with her and... I don't want to hurt her." he said looking over a her.

"Wait a minute. You're falling in love with her? Already?" she asked surprised looking down at him as he nodded. "More than with me?" she asked as he nodded again. "Then Roger, you get off of your ass and get back to Keely's and tell her or so help me God…" she ranted running her fingers through her thick curls.

"I can't. Not now. She probably hates me and never wants to see me again." he said looking up at her.

"Oh trust me Roger. She doesn't hate you. She's waiting for you to come to your damn senses and go back over there and make love to her." she said looking down at him.

"Why the hell do things have to be so complicated?" he asked looking up at her.

"What the hell is so complicated? Roger, you're falling in love with her, she's falling in love with you. You guys have so much in common, I swear she's the female version of you. She is more like you than any other woman on the planet. It couldn't be simpler. You're just running scared as usual." she yelled looking down at him.

"Hang on, she's falling in love with me? Did she say something to you?" he asked looking over at her.

"Apparently, you haven't been paying attention. Of course she's falling in love with you. It's written all over her face. Why the hell do you think she wants to give herself to you? I swear to God, you are so stupid sometimes." she yelled looking over at him.

"OK, so I'm stupid. But I'm afraid it's too late." he said looking over at her.

"Do you want a future with her?" she asked looking over.

"Yeah, I do." he started looking over at her.

"Then it's not too late. You should tell her how you feel." she smiled looking over at him.

"I want to, but I'm scared." he whispered looking over at her.

"What the hell are you so afraid of? I don't get it." she asked looking over at him.

"I'm afraid of losing her the way Collins lost Angel, OK? Are you happy now? I said it. Dammit." he yelled looking down at her. The tone in his voice set her back a little. She had never seen him so scared and frustrated before.

"Roger, she has feelings for you, you have feelings for her. Don't use the fact that you're both positive as an excuse to keep her at arms length. If you keep running away from her, you're definitely gonna lose her and then what? I know neither one of you could take it if that happened." she said walking over to him.

"Mimi, I've never been this scared in my life. Seriously." he confessed quietly looking over at her.

"I know Honey. That's because she's your someone Roger. She's the reason why I broke up with you. Don't you get it? I knew there was someone out there for you and she's that someone. I see how you are with her. You were never like that with me and from what Collins and them tell me, you weren't like that with April either. And do you know what? That's OK. I'm happy for the both of you. Roger, you're almost 30 years old. You weren't supposed to make it to 30, yet here you are. You better get off your ass and start doing something with your life or your gonna die alone and then all of this is for nothing." she said holding back tears.

"Wow. I never… I never looked at it that way." he said sitting heavily on the couch.

"Well maybe you should start. Now get off of your ass and go to Keely's place and apologize to her. If something happens, let it. Otherwise, just hold her in your arms. Just don't blow it Davis. She's your second chance. Don't let her go. You better take it before it's too late. For both of you." she said taking his hand to help him up.

"Thanks Mimi. I swear, I don't know what I would do without you." he smiled leaning down to hug her.

"Yeah, me neither. Heaven knows you're helpless on your own." she laughed looking up at him.

"I'll call you later." he smiled before heading towards the door.

"You better not. I want you to give Keely your undivided attention." she smiled looking over at him as he left the apartment.

Thanks Mimi. Really." he smiled before closing the door behind him.

"Go to her Roger." she whispered before walking to the window to watch him run around the corner towards Keely's place as the sun rose over the East Village. "It's OK Angel chica, I'm trying my best with him." she smiled looking up to the sky.

When Roger arrived at Keely's apartment, he leaned against the doorway. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door lightly. He was hoping she was still awake but if she wasn't, he didn't want to wake her up. When she opened the door, she was wearing a pair of cut off sweat pants and a short t shirt. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she had taken all of her make up off. It was evident that she had been crying. She looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. "You came back." she said quietly looking up at him.

"I never should have left earlier. I'm sorry." he whispered breathlessly looking into her bright blue eyes before taking her into his arms and kissing her.

"I knew you would come back Roger." she laughed quietly as tears filled her eyes again.

"I had to. I realized that I don't want to run away from you. I need you Keely." he whispered kissing her again. This time it was like no other kiss they had ever shared.

"Roger, are you sure?" she asked looking into his green eyes.

"If I wasn't sure before, I am now. I can't believe I almost let you go." he told her before closing the door behind him and carrying her to the bedroom. They furiously removed one another's clothes before lying on the bed.

"Um... Roger, condoms." she asked taking deep breaths to regain her composure.

"I got it covered. I don't ever want to hurt you." he whispered looking down into her bright blue eyes before taking out the condoms.

"I was about to say the same thing." she whispered reaching up to caress his face before their lips touched again. Soon they made love. As they lay in one another's arms, Keel looked up at Roger.

"So, you never answered my question. What did take you so long? I've been waiting on the couch for almost an hour." she asked leaning up on his muscular chest playing with the few strands of chest hair he had.

"Um…I was talking to Mimi. Actually, I was getting yelled at by Mimi. She heard me come in and I told her what happened." he said playing with her hair.

"I knew Mimi was my favorite for a reason." she laughed looking up at him.

"She knows you make me happy Keel." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Well you make me happy too. I've never known anyone like you." she said quietly as he caressed her bare shoulders. Every touch from him sent jolts of electricity through her body. "I mean, you have this charm that I can't resist."

"You think I'm charming?" he asked starting to sit up.

"Of course I think you're charming. You're sexy too." she smiled leaning up to kiss him again.

"What is it about me do you find charming?" he asked curiously.

"Everything." she smiled reaching up to caress his stubbled cheek.

"Like what?" he asked looking down at her.

"You are not gonna stop until I tell you, are you?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Nope." he laughed leaning down to kiss her.

"Fine, well you've got the most amazing eyes I have ever seen on a man. When you look at me, I feel like I'm the only woman in the world. When you sing to me, oh my God, I get shivers up my spine and your kisses are like little pieces of heaven." she smiled sitting up in the bed to face him.

"Wow, I do all that to you?" he asked sitting up next to her.

"Mhm. And when you hold me I feel like nothing can hurt me. You're my man Roger. My someone." she said looking up at him.

"You're my someone too Keel and I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure nothing ever hurts you. I swear." he said looking down at her. She could tell by the look in his eyes, he was serious.

"I know Roger." she whispered leaning over to kiss him before he wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him.

"I mean it Keel. I'm gonna fight like hell to make sure no one and nothing hurts you." he whispered leaning down to kiss her head.

"I believe you Roger. I have never believed anyone more in my life." she smiled looking up into his green eyes before laying her head back down and falling asleep happily in his arms.


	34. Chapter 34

The next morning Roger opened his eyes and looked around. He looked at the digital clock next to the bed and the numbers indicated that it was 12:24. He quickly realized that it wasn't his clock. It was pink. He also knew he wasn't in his own bed. The stuffed animals sitting on the book case on the other side of the room reminded him that he was in Keely's bed. She had told him where she had gotten each stuffed animal, what she named them and how old they were. He turned his head to see Keely lying on her stomach. Her tattoos were clearly visible to him. The one on her right shoulder blade was two pink ballet slippers and the other was a celtic symbol on her lower back. Her face was turned towards him as her hair lay strewn across the pillow on the other side. She looked so beautiful. Platinum blond on top of dark hair. Her breathing was steady as her lips formed a small, content smile. He smiled down at her lying next to him. He swept the hair that was lying across her face before slowly getting up and going into the bathroom to take a shower.

He smiled at all of the girly toiletries that lined the bathroom sink and the tub. There were off white candles all around that weren't lit, but the French Vanilla smell in the room indicated that they had been on more than one occasion. He started the shower and went in. When he was done, he grabbed a pink bath towel that hung on the hook just next to the tub and wrapped it around his waist. When he opened the bathroom door, he was surprised to see Keely up. She was in the kitchen making coffee. Anyone who knew Roger knew that he was useless without his coffee. Even at 1 in the afternoon. "Good morning Baby. Do you want coffee?" Keely smiled looking over at him wearing his tank top and a pair of panties.

"You read my mind." he smiled looking over at her.

"I'm glad you're still here. When I woke up alone, I was afraid last night was just a dream." she said smiling over at him as she poured the coffee.

"Nope, it wasn't a dream Baby. I'm really here." he smiled walking over to her.

"How long have you been up?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Long enough to realize how lucky I am." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" she asked looking up at him.

"I can't believe I almost lost you last night." he said leaning down to kiss her good morning.

"You were never gonna lose me Roger. I've been right here the whole time waiting until you were ready for what comes next. So, are you ready?" she smiled throwing her arms around his neck.

"I'm all in Keel. I'm not going anywhere this time." he smiled holding her close to him.

"Are you sure? You're not still scared, are you?" she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"I'm done running Keel. I'm done being scared. I swear." he smiled kissing her again.

"Good, because now that I have you, I never want to let you go." she smiled leaning her forehead into his.

"Do you have to teach a class today?" he asked looking down into her blue eyes.

"Later, but it's only one class. Why?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Because I wanna take my girl out for lunch since it's way too late for breakfast." he laughed looking down at her.

"That's a great idea. But how about we call everyone and have them meet us at the Life Cafe?" she suggested smiling at him.

"You really like my friends, don't you?" he asked shifting to lean against the headboard.

"Yeah I do. They're amazing. I've never had friends like them before." she smiled slipping her arms from around his neck.

"Yeah, we're more like a family." he smiled looking down at her.

"Well, being an only child, I missed out on having brothers and sisters. I mean, I had Oliver, but it's not the same, you know? I especially like Mimi. She's really great. Plus, I owe her big for sending you back to me last night." she smiled looking up at him.

"To think, I almost missed this." he smiled looking down at her.

"Missed what Baby?" she asked looking up at him confused.

"Waking up with you lying next to me. Looking so beautiful. And coming out of the bathroom to you making coffee in the kitchen." he said looking down at her.

"Yeah, wrapped in a pink towel. Pink is definitely your color by the way." she laughed looking down at the towel.

"It was the only color you had. You have this strange obsession with pink." he laughed looking down at her.

"I'm a ballerina. What do you expect?" she laughed looking up at him.

"I like it." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the back of her head. "How about we forget the coffee and I show you what I have under my towel for you?" he suggested seductively as she turned around to face him.

"Mmm, I like how you think Mr. Davis?" she laughed looking up at him.

"I thought you would Miss O'Reilly." he laughed caressing her face before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom.

* * *

"If you don't hurry up, you know they're gonna torture me. You're still new blood. They're not gonna torture you at least for another couple of weeks or so." Roger called out as Keely stood in the bathroom fixing her hair.

"Yeah, and? I have a feeling you can hold your own. Especially with Collins." she laughed coming out of the bathroom putting her earrings in her ears.

"And I have a feeling you're gonna be trouble." he laughed looking over at her.

"Oh yeah, like you and Collins are for everyone else. When you two get together, the rest of us have to run for cover." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, me and Collins go back a long way." he smiled looking down at her.

"Trust me Baby, it shows. But I like it. You two are so cute together. Like brothers." she smiled wrapping her arms around his waist to hold him close.

"Are you ready now my diva?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yes Baby, I'm ready. How do I look?" she laughed leaning up to kiss him.

"Gorgeous." he smiled taking her hand.

"Roger, you always say that." she laughed looking up at him.

"Well you always do look gorgeous. Can we go now?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yes Baby." she laughed dragging him out of the apartment to go to the cafe.

"There they are. The rock super couple of the East Village." Collins smiled looking over at the as they entered the café.

"Rock super couple, huh? That would require Roger to actually say yes to my offer to join the band. Which he has yet to do." Keely smiled looking up at him as they held hands.

"Yeah well, at least he's pretty, huh Babygirl?" Collins laughed as Keely buried her face in Roger's chest laughing.

"That he is." she laughed as Roger looked down at her before directing his attention towards Collins.

"Hey, time out. Isn't it too early to be screwing with me? I mean, I seem to remember setting a time limit with you about 5 years ago. Not before noon." Roger laughed pointing at Collins.

"Dude, it's quarter to 2, that's number one. B, your girl threw the pass, I just caught it and I'm running with it." he laughed looking up at him.

"See what you did." he smiled looking down at Keely as she laughed.

"Sorry Baby." she laughed leaning up to kiss him as he held her tightly in his arms.

"Oh yeah. She's definitely one of us." Mimi smiled looking over at them.

"Mimi, um... can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Keely asked looking up at her.

"Sure sweetie." she smiled getting up as Roger leaned forward on the table watching his girlfriend and his ex girlfriend leave the cafe.

"Dude, do you think that's a good idea?" Collins asked over at Roger.

"It's cool. Don't worry so much man." Roger smiled looking over at him before turning his head to watch Keely and Mimi again.

"What's up Keely?" Mimi asked looking over at her as they stepped outside the cafe.

"Thank you for talking to Roger. He told me that you yelled at him last night and made him come back to me." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah well, he belongs with you. He knew it, he just needed someone else to confirm it." she said looking at Roger through the window of the cafe.

"Why did you send Roger back to me?" she asked looking over at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked looking over at her. "I sent him back because he has to stop running from you." she answered looking up at her.

"But you still love him, don't you?" Keely asked looking over at her.

"Um..." she started before looking down at the ground.

"It's OK Mimi. I understand." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Please don't tell him, OK?" she pleaded looking through the window at Roger and the others laughing.

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. But can I ask you something?" she asked as Mimi turned around to look at her nodding. "If you're still in love with him, why did you break up with him?" she asked looking over at her.

"Because he could never be happy with me. Not the way he is with you. I needed to know he would have true happiness before he left this earth. He has very strong feelings for you. It wouldn't have been fair to keep him from meeting you." she said looking over at her.

"I have strong feelings for him too." she smiled looking over at her.

"He just has to get over his fear of losing you." she said looking over at her.

"I think he's on his way. Um... thanks for sending him back to me." Keely said watching Roger with everyone.

"I had to Keel. He belongs with you. I can tell by the way he is with you." Mimi smiled watching her watch Roger.

"Why are you being so nice to me? The girlfriend of the man you love?" she asked looking up at him.

"Because we're friends. I never looked at you as the girlfriend of the man I love. You're like a sister to me Keely. I like you and you're good for each other. You both deserve to be happy." she smiled looking over at her.

"I'm not gonna hurt him Mimi. I promise you that." she said looking over at her.

"I know you won't Keel. You're each other's someone." she smiled looking over at her.

"Hey, what are you girls doing out here? I would have thought you and your boyfriend would be attached at the lips. Or the hips." Alison laughed walking up to the cafe.

"Allie." Mimi laughed looking over at her.

"Well I just needed to thank Mimi for helping get Roger back to me last night. She's a great friend." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, she really is." Alison smiled looking over at Mimi.

"Enough of this. Everyone's waiting for us and I can tell your boyfriend misses you." Mimi smiled as Keely smiled at Roger who was staring back at her.

"Yeah, he is kind of pathetic, huh?" Keely laughed as Roger stared at her through the window.

"Not pathetic. Sweet. I never thought I'd ever see him like that." Mimi smiled looking over at Allison who was looking down at her feet. "Allie, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked as Keely went back into the cafe.

"Sure. What's up?" she asked looking over at her.

"Is everything OK? You don't look so good." Mimi asked looking over at Alison.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just... Benny hates it that I'm hanging out with you guys. He would prefer it if I just hung on his arm while he gallivanted around with my dad." she said looking over at her.

"I'm sorry Allie. Is there anything I can do? I mean, do you want me to talk to him and maybe see if he wants to hang out too? That might make things easier, right?" she asked looking over at her.

"The thing is... I don't want him hanging out with us. We're having such a good time, you know? You and me are actually friends, despite our history and Keely... well, let's just say, I'm probably her biggest fan other than you. I love how happy she makes Roger. And she brought the old Roger back. I don't want Benny to mess that up." she said looking over at her.

"What are you saying Allie?" Mimi asked confused.

"I'm saying that... I've been thinking about divorcing Benny for a while. I think I'm ready to take the first step." she said looking her in the eyes.

"Allie, I hope this doesn't have anything to do with me. I mean, with my history with Benny and..." she started when Alison cut her off.

"No. Mimi, it has nothing to do with you and Benny. It has to do with me and Benny. I wanted to hate you for a long time, but the more time I spend with you the more I like you. You're probably one of the best friends I've ever had. Does that sound sick?" she asked smiling at her.

"Actually no, it doesn't." she smiled looking at Roger and Keely through the window.

"You're still in love with Roger, aren't you?" she smiled looking over her shoulder.

"Do you blame me?" she asked watching Roger feed Keely french fries.

"I guess not. Look how happy he is." she smiled as they both watched them.

"That's all I ever wanted for him." she smiled before they went into the cafe.

"Come on. Let's go celebrate life with our friends. We'll deal with real life later." Alison smiled putting her arm around Mimi's shoulder and going into the cafe to join the others.


	35. Chapter 35

"Where were you? Your father and I went to the club. Your mom was looking for you." Benny asked as Allison entered the apartment.

"If you must know, I was at the Life Cafe. Roger and his girlfriend called to ask me to lunch with them and we were just hanging out." she smiled taking her purse off of her shoulder.

"You're becoming quite chummy with them all again, huh?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes Benny, I am. Are you jealous?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah right. Me jealous of them? They're all still living in their dream world. They have no idea what success really is. If you want to hang out with those losers, knock yourself out. I prefer to go to the club with your father anyway." he laughed taking a sip of his scotch.

"You know what Benny? I want a divorce. You and my father can have your beautiful life together because I want no part of it. Not anymore." she yelled before storming off to her room and slamming the door.

"Allison, you can't be serious." he called out rushing to the bedroom. When he opened the door Allison was throwing some clothes into a huge suitcase. "What are you doing?" he asked looking over at her.

"I'm leaving you Benny. I'm sick and tired of being treated like garbage by you. The women, the late night meetings. The business trips with my father. I'm done. Done with all of it." she yelled tossing her clothes in without folding them.

"You are not leaving me Allison. You're just pissed. You're not thinking clearly right now. Let's talk about this." he said looking over at her.

"I've been pissed for a long time Benny. I've turned a blind eye to your shit long enough. I can't take it anymore. I just stayed because I didn't have the courage to leave you. I didn't want to be alone." she told him walking to the walk in closet.

"And where are you gonna go? Bohemia?" he laughed looking at her.

"None of your business Benny. I just need to get away from you." she yelled closing her suitcase and walking out the door with it.

* * *

"OK girls, now stretch 2, 3, 4 and breathe 2, 3, 4. Good. Tamara, you're doing great sweetie. Now plie 2, 3, 4. Candace keep your back straight sweetie. Chin up. Good girl." she smiled as she walked around the dance studio in her pink body suit and leotards. The door opening got her attention. She looked up and noticed Roger standing in the doorway smiling at her. "OK girls. That's all for today. I'll see you girls on Thursday." she smiled before rushing over to Roger. "Hi Baby. This is a surprise." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Yeah, I was nowhere near the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop in and watch my girl work." he laughed holding her around her waist.

"Well I'm glad you came by and got to see me in action." she laughed looking up at him.

"Keely." a young 7 year old African American girl called out standing next to them.

"What's the matter Tamara?" she smiled looking down at the girl.

"My mom said I can't come on Thursday. I have to go to the doctor and get shots." she said looking up at her and Roger.

"That's OK sweetie. But remember, I expect you to keep practicing, OK? You're doing really good." she smiled looking down at her.

"OK. Thanks Keely. I will." she smiled before running off to her older sister who was standing on the other side of the room.

"You are so good with them." he smiled looking down at her.

"Yeah well, they remind me of myself when I was a little girl. They love to dance." she smiled looking up at him. "So, what do I owe this little surprise visit to?" she asked looking up at him.

"I missed my girl." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Aww, I missed you too." she smiled leaning up to kiss him. "OK, um... well I was gonna try to get some solo dance time in after the girls left. Do you have anywhere else to be for a while?" she asked looking up at him.

"Nope. I'm all yours for the rest of the evening." he smiled looking down at her.

"Great. Maybe I can teach you a few moves." she laughed looking up at him.

"I don't think so Keel. I'm not exactly the dancer type. But I can't wait to see your moves." he laughed looking down into her blue eyes.

"Mark my words Roger Davis, I will get you on the dance floor." she smiled pointing up at him.

"A girl can dream." he laughed sitting on the chair by the door.

"We'll see." she laughed walking over to the stereo in the other corner of the room and putting on some Donna Summer song from the 70s and starting to dance around the studio.

"Oh geez." he laughed watching her as she turned to him.

"_Last dance. Last chance, for love. Yes, it's my last chance, for romance, tonight_." she sang prowling towards him.

"I'm not dancing Keel." he protested looking up at her.

"_I need you, by me. Beside me, to guide me. To hold me, to scold me. 'Cause when I'm bad I'm so' so bad._" she sang taking his hands.

"You are a wicked, wicked woman." he laughed as she pulled him up from the chair.

"_So let's dance, the last dance. Let's dance, the last dance. Let's dance, this last dance tonight._" she continued dragging him around the room as the music paced up. He started to move with the music with her dancing around him.

"Keel, this is disco. I don't do disco." he laughed as she danced with him.

"I thought you said you don't dance at all." she laughed as he pulled her to him holding her by her waist.

"I don't. You know the kind of dancing I'm good at. No music required." he smiled leaning down to kiss her. His hands roamed her body as she fell into his kiss.

"Mmm, I love dancing with you." she whispered breathlessly as she broke their kiss.

"Wanna go to the loft? It's closer than your place and Mark and Collins are out with the girls. No one's home." he asked looking deep into her blue eyes.

"Mmm the possibilities." she smiled breaking away from him to turn off the stereo and as he grabbed her dance bag before they left the studio._  
_

* * *

As Alison stood outside the loft, she put her suitcase down. Before knocking on the door, she took a deep breath. "Go away, we're busy." she heard Roger call out as Keely giggled.

"Roger, don't be so rude. I'm answering the door. Just get some pants on." she laughed before opening the door. She was wearing one of Roger's button down shirts and it covered her panties, only showing her from the mid thigh down. "Allie. Sweetie, are you OK?" she asked looking over at her.

"I left Benny." she said looking over at her.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Come on in." she told her opening the door.

"No, I should go. I'm interrupting you guys." she said looking over at her.

"Allie, would you come in. Please." Roger said coming out of his bedroom wearing a pair of jeans and a tank top.

"Are you sure? I mean, you guys sounded like you were in the middle of something." she asked looking over at him.

"Forget it Baby, get in here. Tell us what happened." he said putting his arm around her before taking her bag from him and leading her into the loft.

"He started giving me shit about hanging out with you guys again, so I left him. It was the last straw. I haven't been happy for a really long time." she said looking up at him.

"I'm so sorry Allie." Keely said looking down at her as they sat on the couch.

"Don't be. I feel better than I've felt in a long time. Now I have to look for an apartment." she said looking over at her as Roger went to the kitchen.

"Do you want a drink Al?" he asked looking over at her.

"A stoli would be amazing right now. I know Collins has a stash somewhere around here." she said looking back at him.

"Gotcha. Is it OK Baby?" he asked looking over at Keel.

"Of course it is." she smiled looking back at him. "You know Allie, I may be able to help you. With your apartment situation, anyway. My roommate moved out a few months ago. Her room is still empty. If you wanna move in with me. I would love to have you. I can cover the bills until you get a job." she smiled as Roger smiled at her.

"Keel, the money is mine. Benny only has it because of me. But I couldn't. You and Roger need your privacy and I'd hate to be in the way." she said looking over at her.

"Allie, you're one of our best friends and you need need somewhere to live. Keely has a room. Would you just take it please?" he smiled handing her a coffee mug that was filled half way with stoli.

"Are you sure? I don't want to get in the way." she said looking over at Keely.

"I'm positive. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you there. Plus it'll be you and me against Roger. Think of all the fun we could have." she laughed as Roger plopped next to Keely.

"Yeah Al, think of all the fun you two could have at my expense." he laughed putting his arm around Keely.

"Are you sure Keely? I mean, really sure." she asked looking over at her.

"Of course I am." she smiled leaning against Roger.

"OK. I guess you got yourself a new roommate. And I insist on paying all of the bills. It's the least I can do." she smiled looking over at her.

"Allie, I don't need you to pay my bills for me." Keely said leaning over to hug Allison.

"Don't argue with me Keel. I won't take no for an answer." she smiled looking over at her.

"OK, but just for a little while." she said looking over at her.

"Deal." she smiled looking over at Roger.

"What does Benny say about all this?" Roger asked looking over at her.

"He thinks the fact that he's an ass couldn't possibly be the reason why I'm leaving him. He blames you guys. But it's not because of you guys. You just gave me the strength to finally do it." she said looking over at him.

"You know we'll always be here for you Allie. You're our friend." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"I know Keel. You have no idea how much that means to me." she smiled looking over at her.

* * *

"Allie, where's my blue skirt? You know, the long one." Keely yelled from her bedroom closet.

"Um... it's in my room. I'm sorry, I borrowed it the other day. I'll bring it out." Allison called out from her room.

"Did you have a hot date?" Keely asked walking out into the living room.

"No, I kind of went for a job interview. I want to make it on my own for once. Without daddy's money to fall back on. I'm gonna need a job for that." she said bringing the skirt to her.

"Allie, that's great. But are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, the money was yours, not Benny's." she asked sitting on the couch.

"I'm totally sure. I mean, I've always had my parent's money. Sure, it allowed me to help my friends when they needed it and I'm still gonna use it for that, but I don't want to use it to sit around and do nothing. I wanna make my own way in life. Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked plopping down on the chair next to the couch.

"You are definitely crazy. But not for that reason. I understand why you need to do this. But why make things harder on yourself. It's hard enough living on your own." she asked looking over at her.

"I know, and that's what I wanted. I mean, I've been friends with Roger and everyone for years, but I've always been the odd one out. I never had dreams of doing something that makes me happy and I certainly never had to eat and Ramen, yet I was never really happy. I only pretended to be. Having everyone back in my life and meeting you made me take a look at what's really important in life and that's loving and being loved. I didn't have that with Benny. At least not after we got married. He's been running around with all these women since Mimi. She wasn't the only one and she definitely wasn't the last one. But I had money and stuff, so I pretended to be happy. But I um... I wasn't. At least not until now." she said looking over at her.

"You know what Allie? I understand completely. I respect you for standing up to Benny and your father." she smiled looking over at her roommate.

"Thanks Keel. That means a lot coming from you." she smiled before getting up from the chair.

"You're still coming to my show tonight, right?" Keely asked from the couch.

"Of course I am Keel. I wouldn't miss it for anything." she smiled before going into her room.

* * *

"So, you've been spending a lot of time at Keely's lately. Does that mean things are going well?" Mimi asked Roger as he smiled over at Keely by the stage.

"I guess you can say that, yeah." he laughed winking at Keely as she looked up at him.

"Good. I'm glad that you finally got over your fear." she smiled looking up at him watching him stare at Keely.

"Mhm." he smiled before looking down at what he was doing.

"Roger, are you listening to me?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Oh um... yeah, sorry. She's gorgeous, isn't she?" he smiled looking up at Keely again.

"Yeah Roger, she is." she smiled looking back at Keely who was standing in front of the microphone singing.

_I can't believe I could've been so blind, but love is strange  
I thought about it for a long long time, but the truth remains  
I don't need another lonely night to dry my tears_

_The answer's plain as black and white, and I can see the picture very clear_

_I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna crawl  
I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
Don't you wonder why I gotta say goodbye_

_It isn't like you never had the chance to change your tune  
Did you think that I'm a dime a dance, well the dance is through  
I been doing things your way too long, but baby that's over (baby that's over)  
It won't be easy, but I gotta be strong  
And if I wanna cry I don't need your shoulder_

_I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna crawl  
I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
Don't you wonder why I gotta say goodbye_

_I'll find someone else who's nothing like you  
And who can play the game as well  
And you're gonna be sorry baby - when it's over_

_I been doing things your way too long, baby that's over (baby that's over)  
It won't be easy, but I've got to be strong  
And if I wanna cry I don't need your shoulder_

_I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna crawl  
I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
Don't you wonder why I gotta say goodbye_

_  
I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
I been living on the edge of a broken heart  
Don't you wonder why I gotta say goodbye  
I been living on the edge of a broken heart_

Keely sung and it was mesmerizing. Roger cheered as she sung the 80's female hairband Vixen classic. She rocked out and he loved it. He wished he was up there with her, but he was still apprehensive about it. When she was done with the song, she winked at him from on stage before the next song started..

* * *

"OK, I need an answer right now. Are you gonna join the band or what?" Keely asked looking up at Roger as they washed the dinner dishes.

"Are you still on this?" he laughed looking down at her.

"If by this, you mean wanting to be in a band with my boyfriend? Then yes. I'm still on this." she smiled looking up at him.

"You are one relentless woman." he laughed looking down at her.

"You should know Keely by now Roger. She doesn't give up that easily." Allison laughed wiping the table.

"Yeah, yeah, well I'm a diva. I can't help it. Now would you quit being so evasive and answer the question?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Are you sure you want to be in a band with your boyfriend? I mean, look at all the famous bands that have gone down the tubes because two members were dating." he said looking over at her.

"Name one?" she asked looking up at him.

"Fleetwood Mac. HA!" he smiled putting his hands on his sides.

"Roger." Alison called out laughing.

"Oh please, they still come out with stuff every now and then Roger. Besides, the reason why Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks broke up was because of drugs. Not because they were in the same band. So that hardly counts." she laughed looking up at him.

"Aha but it still counts." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her close to him as the phone rang. "Ahh, saved by the bell." he laughed letting her go so she could answer the phone.

"We're not done with this yet." she laughed looking up at him before answering the phone. "Hello?" she said into the phone. "Daddy, um... hey. Is everything OK with you and mom?... you're coming here? When?... next week?... aha... OK... I guess I'll see you guys then... OK, I love you and mom too... OK bye." she said hanging up the phone.

"Daddy?" he smiled looking over at her.

"Daddy?" Alison smiled watching them.

"Yeah Daddy. Did you think I was hatched or something?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Of course not, it's just... I don't know, I never heard you talk like that." he smiled looking down at her.

"Yeah well, get ready, him and my mom are coming for a visit next week." she groaned sitting on the couch.

"What's the matter Baby?" he asked sitting next to her.

"Nothing's the matter, it's just... my parents don't know a lot about my life here. I haven't told them about you yet, they don't know about the band and they still don't know that I'm positive." she said looking over at him.

"Your parents don't know that you're positive? Keely, how could that be?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah I was kind of hoping you were gonna focus on the fact that I haven't told them about you yet." she said getting up from the couch.

"Baby, how could they not know that their daughter is HIV positive? Don't you talk to them?" he asked looking up at her.

"Of course I talk to them, but I was afraid that if I told them, they'd want me to move back home to take care of me and as you can see, I don't need anyone to take care of me." she said looking down at him.

"But Baby, don't you think they should know?" he asked looking up at him.

"For what reason? So they could get worried and drag me home to Minnesota and lock me in my bedroom because they know what's best for me? No thank you. They were against me moving here to begin with. The only reason why they didn't give me such a hard time is because I went to dance school here and because Oliver was here and they made him swear to take care of me." she said looking down at him.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked looking up at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked sitting next to him.

"When they come? You're gonna have to tell them, right? I mean, it's gonna be pretty hard for you to hide the fact that your taking antiretrovirals. They're gonna figure it out." he said looking over at her.

"Baby, all I have to do is carry my meds with me and take them when they're not around. They'll never be the wiser." she told him sitting back on the couch.

"Baby, I think you should tell them. They should know that their daughter is HIV positive." he told her getting up from the couch.

"He's right Keel. You need to tell them." Allison said looking over at her.

"OK you guys, say I do tell them. What do you think they're gonna do? Wrap their arms around me and tell me that they can see that I can take care of myself and just leave quietly? No, they're gonna try to get me to go back to Minnesota with them and then that's it. The end of our relationship, the end of my career, the end of my life. I'm not gonna give them that satisfaction." she said looking up at him.

"Keely, you're 28 years old, you have a life here and you have me. They can't make you go with them." Alison said looking over at her.

"And you have me. You're hardly alone." Roger smiled looking down at her.

"You guys don't know my parents. That's not gonna make any difference. Trust me. They're overbearing, and very, very, very, overprotective. They make Roger look relaxed." she said looking up at him.

"Then we're just gonna have to show them that we can take care of each other. All of us." he smiled sitting down next to her.

"Are you sure you want to do this Baby?" she asked looking over at him.

"Positive. I wanna meet your parents and show them that we're not helpless." he smiled putting his arms around her.

"Fine, I'll introduce you to them and I'll tell them about our HIV, but I don't think it's a good idea if you stay over while they're here. They would freak. Even if it is my apartment." she smiled looking up at him.

"Deal. You'll see Baby. We'll show them that you don't need them to take care of you. You got me." he smiled looking into her eyes.

"Yeah yeah. You just don't play fair." she laughed holding him in her arms.

"I'll take it anyway I can get it." he laughed leaning down to kiss her.

"OK, now what?" she asked looking over at him.

"We start getting things ready for when your parents come." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"This is not gonna be as fun as you think it is. You do realize that, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"It'll be fine. You'll see Baby." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"As long as you'll be with me, I'm sure it will be." she smiled into his green eyes. "Now, about the band." she laughed looking up at him.

"Fine woman. You win." he laughed submitting to her.

"Really? Are you serious?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah Baby, really. I'll do it. I'd love to share the stage with my Baby." he smiled caressing her face with his thumb.

"Thank you Roger. This is gonna be awesome. I can't wait." she cheered wrapping her arms around his neck knocking him down on the couch before kissing him long and deep.

* * *

A few days later

Danny was playing around on the keyboard on the stage while Roger was wiping down the bar. Keely and Alison went over the books for the dance school while Oliver, Seth, Drew and Cody sat in the corner drinking beer talking about their set list. Danny was playing a melody that sounded familiar to Roger.

"_She's got a way about her. Mmmm, I don't know what it is. But I know that I can't live without her. She s got a way of pleasin'. Mmmm, I don't know what it is. But there doesn't have to be a reason anyway. She's got a smile that heals me. Mmmm I don't know why it is. But I have to laugh when she reveals me. She's got a way of talkin'. I don't know why it is. But it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere." _Roger started as Keely and Allison smiled up at him.

"Baby, that was really good. What made you start singing that song?" Keely asked looking up at him.

"I don't know. It just came to me. It reminds me of you." he smiled looking down at her.

"You should sing that to me on Saturday night." Keely smiled looking up at him.

"No. I was just messing around." he said looking down at her.

"Why not? That sounded really good." Keely smiled looking up at him.

"Because it has no part for you to sing. I wanna sing with my girl." he smiled looking over at her.

"Come on Rog. Get up here. We can work out a couple of songs that you sing on your own. Keel would love to just stand in the audience watching you for a change, right Keel?" Danny smiled looking down at him.

"I would love that." she smiled looking up at him.

"I don't know..." he started when Keely interrupted him.

"Come on Roger. Do it." Alison encouraged looking over at them.

"Yeah Baby, get up there. I wanna hear the rest of it. For me." she smiled taking his arm and leading him up on stage. Danny started the song again as Roger stood in front of the microphone smiling down at Keely.

_She's got a way about her _

_I don't know what it is _

_But I know that I can't live without her_

_She s got a way of pleasin' _

_I don't know what it is _

_But there doesn't have to be a reason anyway _

_She's got a smile that heals me _

_I don't know why it is_

_But I have to laugh when she reveals me _

_She's got a way of talkin' _

_I don't know why it is_

_But it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere_

_She comes to me when I'm feelin' down  
Inspires me without a sound She touches me  
and I get turned around  
She's got a way of showin'  
How I make her feel  
And I find the strength to keep on goin'  
She's got a light around her  
And ev'rywhere she goes  
A million dreams of love surround her  
ev'rywhere_

_She comes to me when I'm feelin' down  
Inspires me without a sound  
She touches me and I get turned around_

_She's got a smile that heals me  
I don't know why it is  
But I have to laugh when she reveals me  
She's got a way about her  
I don't know what it is  
But I know that I can't live without her anyway_

"Baby, that was amazing. You are definitely doing that. And I am definitely standing right there when you do." she smiled rushing onto the stage before pointing down at the front row.

"I don't know Keel. It's not really me." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, it's perfectly you. I can't wait to hear you sing it to me." she smiled looking up at him. As the other band members smiled at them.

"They really do bring out the best in each other, don't they?" Allison asked smiling at Drew.

"Yeah, they really do." he smiled looking down at her.

* * *

A week later.

"Are you ready for Lynn and Martin O'Reilly?" Keely asked looking up at him.

"I'm totally ready Baby. Don't worry, it'll be OK." he smiled reaching around her waist watching for Keely's parents.

"Maybe we should have brought Oliver as a buffer. He's really good with them." she said rubbing her hands together.

"Keel, it's gonna be fine. Stop worrying." he insisted looking down at her before Keely's eyes opened wide.

"There they are. Oh my God, I'm so nervous." she said looking over at them.

"Don't be Baby, it'll be fine. You'll see." he smiled as her parents walked towards them.

"Hi mom, dad. How was your flight?" she asked standing in the airport with Roger as her parents approached them.

"It was long and uncomfortable. I'm so glad to be out of that sardine can." Mrs. O'Reilly answered leaning down to hug her daughter.

"Well you're here now. You guys can stay in my roommate Allison's room. She's staying at a friend's loft while you guys are here. There's plenty of room in there for you guys." she smiled looking up at her.

"Oh, we couldn't possibly take her room." Mrs. O'Reilly said looking down at her.

"Forget it mom. Allie's glad to do it. She wants you guys to be comfortable." she smiled looking over at her.

"Keely Lynn, we've been standing here for at least five minutes, do you plan on introducing us to this young man you brought with you?" Mr. O'Reilly smiled looking down at his daughter.

"Oh, I'm sorry daddy. Mom, dad, this is Roger Davis. Roger, and I have been dating for a little over a month." she smiled reaching down to take Roger's hand.

"It's nice to meet you Mr and Mrs O'Reilly. I've heard so much about you." Roger smiled extending his right hand out to Mr O'Reilly.

"It's nice to meet you too Roger. My daughter neglected to tell us anything about you. What do you do?" he asked looking up at him.

"I'm a bartender at a bar in the East Village and I'm also a musician. I play in this really great band." he smiled looking over at him as Keely looked down at her feet.

"That sounds nice dear. Doesn't that sound nice Martin?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked smiling at her husband.

"Yes Lynn, very nice. Do you and Keely live together?" he asked looking down at his daughter.

"No daddy. He lives in a loft a few blocks from my place." Keely snapped looking up at her father.

"Why don't we get your bags and get you back to Keely's place. I'm sure you both need to rest from your flight." Roger interjected trying to calm Keely down.

"Good idea. Keely and I will hail a cab." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled taking her daughter's arm as Roger and Mr. O'Reilly went to the baggage claim area. "So how come you never told us that you were seeing someone?" she asked looking down at her daughter.

"I don't know mom. We really like each other and I guess I was waiting to see how things went first." she said looking up at her.

"Well he's not very mysterious about his feelings for you." she laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah, he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve. He's a song writer, and he's really great." she laughed looking up at her.

"Are you two sleeping together?" she asked as Keely stopped in her tracks.

"Mother, I really don't think..." she started when Mrs. O'Reilly interrupted her.

"You're not a teenager anymore Keely. You can tell me." she smiled looking down at her.

"If you must know, yes. Yes we are. Am I gonna get the lecture about not buying the cow because he's getting the milk for free?" she asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Of course not Keely. You are using protection, aren't you? There are diseases out there and you wouldn't want to get pregnant yet, would you?" she asked looking down at her.

"Of course we're using protection mother." she said looking over at her.

"I know how difficult it is sometimes. You have your hormones raging and the last thing on your mind is safe sex..." she started as Keely interrupted her.

"Mom, I'm not talking about my sex life with you. At least not here in the middle of the airport. Can we just get a cab? Daddy and Roger will be out with the bags any minute now." she told her feeling not only guilty for not telling her about her HIV, but stupid for contracting HIV to begin with.

"OK sweetie. It's so nice to see you. You look really great. I love your hair, but what's with all the piercing?" she asked looking down at her.

"Wait until you see my tattoos." she mumbled raising her arm in the air to a cab.

"What?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked looking down at her.

"We can talk more when we get back to my apartment." she said walking towards a cab as Roger and her father came out of the terminal carrying the bags.

A/N: The song I had Keely sing was Edge of a Broken Heart by Vixen and the song Roger sung was She's Got a Way by Billy Joel. I've heard Adam's versions of Vienna and New York State of Mind and I love hearing him sing Billy Joel. And since Billy Joel is one of Adam's favorite singers, it's fitting. I hope you're liking this story so far. I don't know how far I'm gonna take it, but I'd like to just play it by ear.

Renthead621


	36. Chapter 36

"Are you sure you're gonna be OK here alone with them? I can stay for moral support if you want. Or I can send Allie home to check on you so you won't be alone." Roger offered as they stood outside Keely's apartment.

"Roger, they're my parents. Not serial killing axe murderers." she laughed looking up at him.

"You know what I mean Keel." he said looking down at her.

"Baby I'll be fine. I just think it's better that I tell them alone. As soon as they find out that you're positive too... there's no telling how they'll feel about you. I mean, even though you had nothing to do with it, they might think you gave it to me and I'm protecting you. I need to make sure they understand that you didn't. It'll be easier if you're not here. They won't be so worked up." she told him leaning against the wall as she played with the front of his shirt.

"It'll be OK Keel. I promise. They're your parents. They love you no matter what." he said looking down at her playing with her hair.

"I know. It's just... you don't know how they are. They're more protective of me than you are. And we both know how you can be." she smiled slightly looking up at him.

"I'm sure they're not as bad as me." he smiled looking down at her.

"Oh, you don't know my parents." she laughed looking up at him.

"Just call me if you need me Baby, OK? I'll come running to your rescue. I promise." he told her leaning down to kiss her.

"My knight in shining leather, huh?" she laughed pulling him by his leather jacket towards her.

"That's right." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I'll be fine. I promise. But it's nice to know that I have a hero if I ever need one." she smiled reaching up to caress his face.

"You're my girl Keel. I'll always be your hero. It's my job." he whispered caressing her face before leaning down to kiss her again.

"Thank you Roger." she whispered looking up into his green eyes. "I'll call you later. I promise." she smiled looking up at him.

"You better." he smiled down at her.

"Bye." she smiled before opening the apartment door and went back inside as Roger left.

"Roger didn't have to go home. We were enjoying his company. He seems like a nice boy." Mr. O'Reilly smiled looking over at Keely as he looked around the apartment at the pictures she had up on the walls. One was of Roger on stage playing his guitar and singing. It was during one of the bands rehearsals.

"It's OK daddy, he had a couple of things to do at his place. Um... I have to talk to you guys about some things and I really need you to sit down." she said looking over at them.

"What is it sweetie? Are you and Roger getting married? Moving in together? Are you pregnant? Honey you can tell us anything." Mrs. O'Reilly asked looking over at her.

"Mom, please... just sit down, OK? And please, don't interrupt me until I'm done. It's gonna be hard enough saying it and I really need to get this out." she told her sitting on the couch.

"You're scaring us Keely. What's wrong?" Mr. O'Reilly asked sitting next to his wife on the love seat.

"Mom, dad. Um... a few years ago, I met this guy in a bar. It was before Roger. Way before I met Roger. We were drinking and I brought him home and... um… we... we slept together. We didn't use anything... you know, like protection or anything. A few months later I saw a poster in the subway and thought it might be a good idea if I got tested... and that's when I found out I was positive for HIV. It's um... it's the virus that causes AIDS." she told them holding back tears unable to make eye contact.

"Oh honey, we're so... we don't know what to say." Mrs. O'Reilly said reaching over to her daughter taking her hand in hers.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so… so reckless. I was so stupid. I know that now." she choked looking up at them.

"Does Roger know?" Mr. O'Reilly asked quietly looking over at his daughter.

"Yeah, um... yeah daddy. Roger knows. I told him on our first date. Um… mom, dad, Roger's positive too. But he didn't give it to me. I swear. I just met Roger like a month ago. So don't blame him, OK? He would never hurt me. You have to believe me. He takes care of me. We um… we take care of each other. He would die before... before he'd let... before he'd... I'm so sorry." she started before lifting her hands to her face breaking down into tears.

"Oh sweetie, we're right here. It's OK. You're gonna be OK." Mrs. O'Reilly told her as she quickly moved over to the couch to comfort her daughter.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner Keely? We could have helped you somehow. We could have been there for you. You didn't have to go through this alone." Mr. O'Reilly asked moving over to the coffee table.

"Um... I don't know... I was scared daddy. I thought you guys were gonna make me move back home with you guys so you could take care of me and I couldn't do it. I had to stay and finish what I started here. I had to do it, so me getting sick wasn't for nothing." she answered wiping her wet face.

"Oh honey, we know you can take care of yourself. You've been doing that since you were a little girl. And we know how much dancing means to you. When you got hurt, we were worried about how you would handle it, but you picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, you bought the school and you seemed really happy again. We know how much your school means to you. Honey, we would never want to jeopardize what you built for yourself here. We love you and want to see you fulfill your dreams. Everyone deserves to have a chance to fulfill their dreams." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled holding her daughter in her arms.

"Really?" she asked looking up at her wiping her tear stained face.

"Of course. Sweetheart, you're a grown woman. It's not our place to insist that you live anywhere. Just like it's not our job to tell you that you could do better than singing in a bar band with your cousin." Mr. O'Reilly smirked looking over at her.

"Um… you guys know about that?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course. You know what a dumb ass your cousin is. He let it slip to your aunt and uncle a few years ago. We've known this whole time. We're very proud of you Keely." he smiled looking over at her.

"You are?" she asked looking up at him surprised by her parents open mindedness.

"Of course we are. You are an incredibly talented woman, who can do anything she sets her mind to. We've known that since you were a little girl." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking over at her daughter.

"OK, who are you and what did you do with my real parents?" she joked looking over at them.

"Keely, we have always tried to respect you and what you wanted to do with you life. Maybe we were a little over protective for a few years, but we trust you. We love you Keely. The only thing we have ever wanted was for you to be happy and from what we see, you are very happy." Mr. O'Reilly smiled taking his daughters hand in his.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys myself. I thought you would think I sold out or something. I mean, I came here to pursue my dancing and then I hurt myself. Now I'm teaching dance at a school and singing in a bar band." she said looking up at him.

"But it's your school Keely. And if it wasn't for singing in that bar band, you never would have met Roger. He seems like a very nice man sweetie." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking over at her daughter.

"Yeah, Roger is pretty amazing, mom." she smiled looking up at them.

"He's very lucky to have you in his life. As long as he knows that, he and I will get along fine." Mr. O'Reilly smiled lifting his hand to his daughter's tear stained face.

"Don't worry daddy. He knows, But I'm pretty lucky to have him in my life too." she smiled looking over at him.

"And it's obvious he's crazy about you." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking over at her daughter.

"Yeah, he's not too shy about that, is he?" she laughed looking over at him. "He sings with me in the band too. He's really amazing."

"You two must sound great on stage together." Mr. O'Reilly smiled looking over at his daughter.

"And absolutely nauseating around your friends." Mrs. O'Reilly laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, I guess you can say that." she laughed looking over at her.

"Good. You deserve to be happy. It looks like Roger makes you happy." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled leaning over at hug her daughter again.

"He does mom. I promise you. He really does." she smiled hugging her mother.

"And he better take care of you." Mr. O'Reilly smiled looking over at her.

"We take care of each other daddy. He would never let anything happen to me. And I would never let anything happen to him." she smiled looking over at him.

"Why don't you call Roger and we can get to know him better?" Mrs. O'Reilly suggested looking over at her daughter.

"Thanks mom." she smiled hugging her before going into her room.

* * *

"So they were OK? I mean, they didn't threaten to tie you up and take you back to Minnesota or anything?" Roger asked as he spoke to Keely on the phone.

"No, surprisingly they were actually really great. They understand that I need to stay here for my school, my career and for you." she told him quietly as she spoke to him on her cell phone in her room.

"That's great Baby." he smiled sitting on the chair by the phone.

"Well they like you." she smiled excitedly.

"Oh yeah?" he smiled looking down.

"Well what's not to like? You are the most charming man I've ever met." she laughed.

"Listen, I was thinking, maybe we could hang out with them at the Life Cafe tonight." he suggested.

"My parents actually want to get to know you better, But I don't think they can handle you, Maureen, Mimi and Collins together. Hell Baby, I can barely handle Maureen by herself." Keely laughed trying to keep her voice down.

"Oh come on. We're not that bad. Anyway, I wanna show them that even though their little girl can take care of herself, you don't have to. You have a family here too, who loves you and will never let anything happen to you." he smiled sitting in the loft.

"I think they know. Oh, by the way, you happen to be a very lucky man to have a woman like me in your life. At least that's what my dad says." she laughed lying down on her bed.

"I already knew that Baby." he smiled.

"You better." she laughed loudly as there was a knock at the door. "Hang on Baby. Come on in." she called out sitting up.

"Is that Roger? Your dad and I want to take you kids out for a nice dinner so tell him to dress nice for your date tonight." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled standing in the doorway.

"We don't go on dates anymore mom. We're grown ups. We just hang out." she laughed looking over at her.

"Tell them about my plan." Roger chimed in on the other end of the phone.

"Yes Baby. Mom, Roger wants me to invite you and dad out to have dinner with us and our other friends tonight." she smiled looking over at her.

"That's a great idea. We'd love to meet your friends. I'll go tell your father." she smiled starting to close the door but pausing. "Oh, do we need to dress a certain way?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, jeans and leather jackets." she laughed as Roger laughed on the other end.

"What?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked looking over at her.

"Nothing mom. Just casual is fine. It's a small cafe a couple of blocks away. It's around the corner from Roger's place." she laughed looking up at her.

"OK sweetie." she smiled closing the door behind her.

"Baby, why do you have to torture your mother like that?" Roger asked still laughing.

"I don't know. I guess because it's fun and I can." she answered smiling from ear to ear.

"You are an evil woman." he laughed looking towards the loft door as it opened and Mark and Collins entered.

"That's what you tell me." she laughed looking over at the picture of her and Roger which was on her nightstand. Mark had taken it at the bar. They were on stage singing together.

"I'm gonna start getting ready Baby, OK? I'll see you at the cafe at like 7?" he asked standing up from the chair next to the phone.

"Like 7 or 7? You forget how to tell time sometimes." she laughed swinging her legs onto her bed and leaning against the pillows.

"At 7. I'll see you definitely at 7. Unless you want me to come and pick you up?" he asked as Mark and Collins tried to keep quiet seeing that Roger was on the phone.

"I would love that Baby. We could walk with my parents together." she smiled.

"OK, I'll be at your place at 7." he smiled turning away from Mark and Collins.

"OK Baby. See you at 7. Bye." she smiled before closing the phone.

* * *

"They're cool." Mimi smiled looking over at Mr. and Mrs. O'Reilly as she and Keely stood by the juke box in the Life Cafe.

"Cool? My parents? Boy, do they have you fooled." she laughed folding her arms across her chest watching them as they laughed with Roger and Collins.

"No, they're very cool. Cooler than any of our parents are. We would never be able to bring our parents around here. They're too... I don't know, too uptight for this place, but look at them. They can even handle Roger and Collins together. And frankly, I don't even think I can handle the two of them together. And I have many more years experience then they do." Allison laughed looking over at them as Roger and Collins gestured towards one another as if to blame the each other for something as everyone laughed.

"Your parents really like Roger, huh?" Mimi asked watching Roger smile.

"Yeah, they really do. My dad didn't want him to leave this afternoon." she smiled admiring the smile on Roger's face.

"Did you tell them that you're positive yet?" Mimi asked looking up at her.

"Yeah. And they know about Roger too. They took it better than I thought." she smiled as Roger looked up at her and winked.

"They love you Keel. They just want what's best for you." Allison smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, I know. I guess they realize that Roger is what's best for me. My dad actually told me that Roger is a very lucky man to have someone like me in his life." she smiled looking down at her.

"He is, you know?" Allison smiled as Roger got up from the table making his way to Keely.

"I'm the lucky one." she smiled before Roger rushed over to wrap his arms around her.

"Hey Baby. Are you gonna come hang out with your parents any time soon?" he asked smiling down at her.

"I'm enjoying the view from here." she smiled leaning up to kiss him as everyone looked on happily.

* * *

"Roger, can I speak to you for a minute?" Mr. O'Reilly asked ushering Roger towards the door of Keely's apartment as she and Mrs. O'Reilly cooked dinner in the kitchen.

"Sure." Roger smiled getting up from the couch and following the older man out.

"Roger, I'd like to thank you for taking care of Keely for us." he smiled looking up at the younger man.

"Sir, with all due respect, Keely can take care of herself. I mean, she takes care of me just as much as I take care of her. More so even. She's an amazing woman." he smiled thinking about Keely.

"You have very strong feelings for her, don't you son?" he asked looking up at Roger. He didn't need Roger to answer, it was written all over his face.

"Um… yes. Yes sir, I do. I would never hurt her and I would never let anything happen to her." he insisted looking into the older mans blue eyes.

"I know that Roger. It's nice to see she's in such good hands." Mr. O'Reilly smiled putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.


	37. Chapter 37

"It is so damn hot. Why are we sitting around a hot, stinky loft? We should be at the beach or something." Keely complained lounging on the couch.

"I have an idea. My parents have a beach house on the island. We should so go for the weekend." Joanne smiled looking over at everyone.

"Your parents have a beach house? Now that is so cool. How come we're not spending every weekend there?" Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Are you serious Baby?" Roger asked looking over at her as he sat at the window with the window wide open wearing a tank top.

"Very. Roger, we should totally go. We have the week off from performing and what else are we gonna do? Stay in the stinky, hot city? It'll be fun. We'll leave today and we'll have a few days." she smiled looking over at him as she sat on the couch.

"I haven't been to the beach since I was a kid." he said getting up from the window ledge walking towards her.

"Oh come on Baby, the beach is so much fun. We could play on the beach all day. Build a fire at night." she smiled getting up to go to him.

"Oooh that sounds like so much fun. I'm game." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"But we don't have wheels." Oliver complained as he and Mark played war at the metal counter.

"I can borrow my parents truck. It'll fit all of us. Semi comfortably." Joanne suggested looking up at him.

"See. We can so do this. Why should the stupid teenagers be the only ones who enjoy summer? We should too. Please Baby." she pleaded looking up at Roger.

"But I hate the beach." he complained as he looked down at her.

"Oh yeah, fun in the sun, splashing in the ocean with your favorite girl, sitting around a fire with your friends, maybe a friendly little game of beach football. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Come on Roger. It'll be fun." she laughed wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You are not gonna let this go, are you?" he asked looking down at her.

"When have you ever known me to let things go? You'll get to see me in my suit. It's a two piece." she teased looking up at him.

"A two piece, huh?" he asked lifting his eyebrow up in interest.

"That got him." Alison laughed looking over at them.

"You are so good with him." Mimi laughed looking over at them.

"Yeah I know. It's a gift." she laughed looking over at her.

"I'll give you it's a gift." Roger laughed picking her up into his arms.

"Mmm, what are you gonna do about it Davis?" she asked leaning in to kiss him.

"Continue to be wrapped around your little finger I guess." he laughed kissing her again.

"That's what I thought." she laughed as he let her down.

"We can all meet back here in like a half an hour." Maureen smiled looking over at them.

"Yeah, I gotta go back to my place and get a few things together." Keely smiled standing next to Mimi.

"Your suit is a two piece, right?" Roger smiled looking down at Keely as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Yes Baby. It's a two piece. Why?" she laughed looking up at him.

"You better make it 45 minutes. I have to inspect it. Make sure it's not worn out or anything." he laughed picking Keely up into his arms again.

"Don't you guys ever give it a rest? You have all weekend at the beach." Alison laughed looking over at them.

"Yeah, you guys are so gross." Mimi laughed looking over at them.

"You're just jealous." he teased sticking his tongue out at her.

"As if." she laughed as everyone went their separate ways to get ready for their weekend away.

* * *

"Why don't I have a signal? Where are you guys taking me that I don't have a signal on my phone?" Keely complained looking down at her phone.

"Keel, you don't need your phone. We're here to get away from everything, remember?" Alison asked looking down at her,

"But, I left Julia to run the school by herself. You know how she is. I was under the impression that we were still going to be somewhere near civilization. I need my phone. I need to be able to keep in touch with her and make sure she doesn't let the place fall down." she said looking up at him.

"No way Keel. You are not gonna worry about the school, the girls or Julia this weekend. You're gonna have fun splashing in the ocean with your favorite guy, sit around a beach fire with your friends, maybe play a friendly game of football." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"I hate when you do that." she sneered looking up at him.

"Do what? What am I doing?" he whined as everyone in the truck laughed.

"Use my own words against me." she laughed leaning into his chest.

"Yeah well, you happen to be a very smart woman." he smiled holding her closer to him as they continued to drive to Joanne's family's beach house.

* * *

"This place is great Pookie. It's huge." Maureen gushed as they entered the beach house.

"Yeah, my parents have had it for years. It started out 2 bedrooms, but they keep adding to it. The bedrooms are upstairs. Why doesn't everyone go up, find rooms and get changed into their suits and we can go down to the beach. We can get settled later." Joanne suggested looking over at everyone.

"Cool. Come on Baby." Keely smiled looking up at Roger as they carried their bags upstairs and picked a room. "I guess this is our room." she smiled as she opened the door and saw a queen sized bed in the room.

"I can't wait to take this baby out for a spin." he smiled leaning down to take her into his arms carrying her to the bed.

"Roger, everyone's waiting for us." she squealed as he laid her gently on the bed.

"I know, but I want to be with my girl." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I want to be with you too Roger, but our friends are waiting for us." she laughed leaning up to kiss him again.

"OK Keel, you win. But tonight, we're spending time alone together. Just you and me." he smiled caressing her face.

"I promise." she smiled kissing him again before they got up to get their bathing suits on.

* * *

"OK, Oliver and Keely are gonna be the captains, so all we have to do is pick teams." Mimi smiled looking over at the as they all stood on the beach. It was sunset and they had been swimming all afternoon.

"I can't believe I'm actually playing football. I haven't played since I was like 15." Roger complained holding Keely in his arms.

"Oh, stop your bitching Davis. It'll be fun." Oliver laughed looking over at him.

"OK, you pick first, Oliver since you won the coin toss." Joanne smiled looking up at Oliver.

"OK, I pick Roger. HA!" he smirked folding his arms across his chest looking down at Keely.

"Oh no." Alison said looking up at Collins.

"You son of a bitch. OK fine. You wanna play it that way huh? Well I pick Mimi." she taunted stepping away from Roger before putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh shit. This is not gonna be a friendly game, is it?" Collins asked looking down at Mark as they continued to pick their teams.

"I have a feeling we're gonna get caught in the cross fire of a family rivalry." Mark said looking up at him. When it was all over, Oliver had Roger, Mark, and Maureen while Keely had Mimi, Collins and Joanne. Alison sat the game out. As soon as they started playing, the bohemians learned that Oliver and Keely were very competitive.

"Keely's really good at this Rog." Collins smiled looking over at Roger.

"Tell me about it. She's killing me here." he laughed trying to catch his breath after running to catch Keely, who was running with the ball. He was stunned at how good Keely was. When she threw the ball to Mimi, he was surprised that Mimi actually caught it. It seemed like the ball was drawn to her.

"Makes you wish you quit smoking sooner, huh?" Maureen laughed walking away from him.

"Jesus, she's amazing." he laughed looking over at her before walking over to Keely. "You're not getting past me this time, O'Reilly." Roger growled standing in front of Keely in his bathing suit and no shirt.

"Wanna watch me pretty boy rock star? No one's sacks me. Just ask Oli." she laughed before Collins snapped the ball to her as Roger rushed towards her. She threw it just as Roger reached her. "Mimi, it's all you chica." she yelled as the ball left her hand. He wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. Mimi caught the ball and Keely kept her eyes on her. "Go. Go. Go. Go chica, run." she yelled as Roger lost his balance and fell, pulling her on top of him. She was standing on her knees on either side of his body, with her arms raised high. "Yeah touchdown. And that's how you play football rock star." she laughed looking down at him before he put his hands on her hips.

"I never knew you were so competitive. And a great football player." he laughed as he put his head down onto the sand to catch his breath.

"Yeah well, every family holiday all the guys in my family used to play football at my aunt and uncles house and I was always the only girl, so I learned that I had to be a shark if I was gonna hold my own against my cousins." she smiled looking down at him before getting up and extending her hand to help him up.

"We won chica." Mimi laughed running over to her.

"Was there ever any doubt? My team never loses. Right Oli?" she laughed hugging her as she looked over at Oliver.

"Babygirl, you should have played for the NFL. You're an awesome player." Collins smiled running over to Keely.

"Yeah well, it helps to grow up being the only girl with a whole bunch of guy cousins." she laughed as Roger wrapped his arms around her waist holding her tight.

"That's my girl." Roger laughed leaning down to kiss Keely's head.

"Come on. I need to clean all this icky sand off of me." she laughed grabbing Roger's hand and dragging him into the ocean to play.

"Mmm, you gotta love icky sand." Roger laughed following her.

"I can't believe we got beat by Mimi and Keely." Oliver complained looking over at Mark dusting the sand off of his legs.

"Don't worry man. It doesn't look like Roger minds." he laughed watching him and Keely play in the ocean.

"You are so beautiful." Roger smiled holding Keely in his arms in the ocean.

"Oh yeah?" she asked laughing before leaning in to kiss him.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone look more beautiful than you look right now." he smiled caressing her hair.

"You're just saying that because I beat your ass in football." she laughed looking into his green eyes.

"No, I'm not Keel. I'm saying it because it's true. You are probably the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. The way the sun reflects off of your hair and skin. You look like an angel." he told her looking into her bright blue eyes. He had a serious look on his face.

"I never knew it could be like this." she said as the smile faded from her face.

"What?" he asked caressing her wet skin.

"I don't know... this. Being with someone. No one's ever made me feel the way you do. It scares me and makes me feel safe at the same time. Does that make any sense?" she asked looking into his eyes.

"Yeah Baby. It makes perfect sense." he whispered leaning in to kiss her.

* * *

"So Mimi comes prancing into the loft trying to convince me to go out with her." Roger started when Mimi interrupted him as they sat around a fire drinking beer and listening to the radio.

"I wish you wouldn't tell that story. It was not one of my finer moments." she told him sitting in Collins arms.

"You got me out of the loft, didn't you?" he smiled holding Keely in his arms.

"Yeah, but I brought you a bag of smack. I knew you were clean, but I brought you a bag of smack anyway. It was stupid. I was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking." he said looking down at her beer bottle.

"Mimi, you were a different person back then. It doesn't matter now." he said looking over at her.

"You're right, it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you and Keely found each other. You are with the one you're meant to be with. I'm glad I had something to do with that." she smiled faintly looking up at Roger and Keely.

"You had a lot to do with it Mimi, thank you." Keely smiled looking over at her as Roger leaned down to kiss her head.

"Don't mention it chica." she smiled looking over at her.

"Come on. I wanna go for a moon lit walk on the beach with my girl." Roger smiled getting up before taking Keely's hand to help her up.

"Oooh, sounds like fun." she smiled getting up and walking off with him.

"It is every girl's dream date, right?" Roger smiled looking down at her.

"And there they go. Don't get lost lovebirds." Mark called out drinking his beer.

"Oh Mark, leave them alone. They deserve some time alone together." Allison smiled looking over at him as she watched them walk along then beach.

"Now this is better." Roger smiled holding Keely in his arms as they walked down the beach. "I've been wanting to get you alone all day."

"Roger, we are not having sex on the beach. I'm not getting sand up my ass when we have a perfectly good bed up at the house." she laughed looking up at him.

"That's not why I wanted to get you alone." he smiled looking down at her.

"Oh yeah? Why is it that you wanted to get me alone Mr. Davis?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Um... I just wanted to..." he started when Mimi yelled to them.

"Chica, come on. The radio is playing some awesome tunes." she yelled as Keely looked over at her.

"Oh my God, I love this song." Keely smiled looking up at him before running back towards the others.

"Yeah, me too." he mumbled following her.

"Come on Roger." she yelled looking back at him.

"_Pour some sugar on me. Oooh in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me. Come on fire me up._" everyone sang as Roger moped back to the fire.

"This is such an amazing song." Keely laughed singing with Mimi and Alison as Roger sat back down.

"It's the only hairband song I like. It's such a party song." Mimi laughed as she and Keely sang and danced to the Def Leppard classic.

"Everything OK Rog?" Collins asked noticing that Roger was quieter then he was then before he and Keely went for their walk.

"Yeah, um... yeah, everything's fine." he answered looking up at Keely. "Isn't she perfect?" he asked looking over at him. Even though his plans to get her alone were thwarted, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked. Her face lit by nothing but the glow of the fire, her hair swinging as she sang and danced with Mimi. He smiled at his beautiful girlfriend dancing to the music.

"Yeah Rog. The most perfect girl I've ever seen you with." he smiled looking over at him as Roger smiled up at Keely.

* * *

"Is everything OK Baby? You seem really quiet." Keely asked as she slipped on one of Roger's t-shirts to wear to bed.

"Yeah, um... yeah, I'm fine." he answered not facing her.

"Today was great, wasn't it?" she asked smiling down at him. "All of us just having fun on the beach."

"Yeah, really great." he told her emotionless as he took his chain necklace off and set it on the nightstand.

"Roger, did I do something wrong?" she asked crawling on her knees towards him on the bed.

"No. Keel, you didn't do anything wrong. You could never do anything wrong." he said turning around to look at her.

"So what's the matter? We had fun all day and then before we came up here you got really quiet." she said sitting in the middle of the bed.

"It's nothing Keel. I'm just a little tired. I think the combination of being in the sun all day and drinking is draining me. I just need to lay down and get some sleep." he said looking up at her feigning a smile.

"OK Baby. Get some sleep. Good night. We'll talk in the morning." she said leaning over to kiss him.

"Thanks. Good night Keel." he said kissing her tenderly before they lay down with her in his arms.


	38. Chapter 38

A few days later

"So, I was thinking. Maybe we can write a song together to perform on stage. What do you think?" Keely asked as Roger played with her hair.

"Mhm?" he agreed seeming not to pay attention.

"Roger. Earth the Roger, come in Roger." she said bringing her hand up caressing his face.

"Sorry Baby. I didn't hear you." he said looking down at her.

"Are you OK Baby?" she asked leaning up onto his chest to look at him. he looked like he was deep in thought.

"Yeah I'm fine, what's up?" he smiled playing with her hair.

"You look like you're a million miles away. First, that night at the beach house, and now. You've been acting really weird lately." she said sitting up next to him.

"I'm fine Baby, it's just… I've been thinking about things that's all." he said looking up into her blue eyes.

"Good things, or bad things." she asked looking up at him.

"Depends on how you look at it." he said playing with her hair.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked looking over at him.

"You don't want to hear about it Keel. Trust me." he said turning away from her.

"Is it about April?" she asked as he nodded at her. "Then yes I do Roger. You haven't told me much. All you told me was that you guys were gonna have a baby, and she had a miscarriage and then killed herself. I want to know what happened in between." she said looking down at him.

"It's not really something I like talking about Keel. It took a long time to put it behind me." he told her getting out of bed and putting his boxers on.

"Roger, I need to know. You never talk about it, you just sit there zoning off. I want to know what you went through. I need to know what you went through." she told him pulling the sheet up to cover her chest.

"Please Keel. Don't make me go back there." he pleaded sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Roger, it can't hurt you anymore. It's in the past." she said crawling down to him.

"You don't know that Keely. Talking about it brings it all back." he said getting up from the bed.

"You're not alone this time Roger. I'm right here. I won't let it hurt you. I promise." she said looking up at him.

"But you don't belong back there Keel. A lot happened that I'm not proud of. I just don't want you to hear all the details and feel differently about me." he said leaning against the dresser.

"Roger, I have feelings for you, and I know you have feelings for me. But something is holding you back. This. Your past. Letting it go is gonna help you. What makes you think what happened in the past is gonna change that?" she asked getting out of bed, putting a t-shirt on before going over to him.

"I was a junkie Keel. I'm not proud of that." he yelled looking down at her.

"But you're not anymore Roger, you have a second chance with me. You shouldn't regret what you did in the past. Embrace it. Had it not been for what happened back then, you wouldn't be who you are for me now." she yelled back at him.

"It's not gonna be pretty Keel. Going back there." he told her quietly.

"I know. But I'm here no matter what. Nothing you tell me could change how I feel about you. Why can't you see that?" she asked fighting back tears.

"I just can't Keely. I can't bring you back there." he said walking away from her.

"What the hell are you so afraid of?" she asked looking up at him.

"Everything." he yelled looking down at her.

"Well, when you're ready to stop being afraid, I'll be at the loft." she told him putting her shorts on before slipping into her flip flops.

"Keely, what you doing?" he asked watching her.

"I can't be here with you right now Roger." she said rushing out of her bedroom.

"Keely, it's your apartment. You can't leave like this." he said looking over at her.

"Well, I can't stay here with you right now." she yelled opening the door to rush out. When she got to the loft, she used her key to open the door. Collins was sitting on the couch grading papers.

"Hey Babygirl. Where's your man?" he asked looking up from his work.

"At my place still running from his past." she told him quietly as tears fell from her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" he asked putting his papers on the coffee table.

"Tell me about April, Collins." she asked looking up at him.

"I can't Keel. It really should be Roger to tell you about that. It was his past." he said looking over at her.

"Collins, he's been distant lately and I know it has to do with April and the baby. I need to know... I need to know what he went through. I need to know everything." she cried looking up at him.

"Babygirl, he just doesn't want you back there. It wasn't a time in his life that he's proud of." he whispered as he took her into his arms to comfort her.

"But I'm proud of who he is now. Isn't that because of what happened back then?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course it is. But he's just not ready." he said kissing the top of her head as she cried into his strong chest.

* * *

"Roger, are you OK?" Alison asked coming out of her room. Roger was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

"Keely left. She went to the loft." he told her quietly.

"You need to tell her about them. If you're ever gonna have a future with her, you need to let go of your past. That means telling Keely everything." she said sitting next to him.

"She doesn't belong there Allie. You were there. It wasn't pretty. She's innocent in all of this." he yelled getting up from the couch.

"Yeah, but you love her and you need to give her everything you have. That includes giving her your past." she yelled looking up at him.

"I... how do you...?" he asked taken by surprise.

"Roger, I've known you a long time. I see it in everything you do. Tell her Roger. It's the only way you will ever be able to have a future with her." she said looking up at him.

"What if I tell her and she looks at me differently? I don't think I'd be able to handle losing her." he asked looking down at her.

"You won't lose her. She loves you too." she smiled getting up to go to him.

"Thanks Allie. I'm sorry we woke you up." he said looking down at her.

"It's OK. I just hope I was able to help." she smiled leaning up to kiss his cheek before going into her bedroom. Roger looked up at the pictures of him and Keely on the wall. He was in love with her, but hadn't told her yet. He wanted to, but everytime he tried to tell her, he lost his nerve. He went into Keely's bedroom to finish getting dressed before going to the loft to tell Keely everything about April and Erik. When he walked into the loft, he saw Collins and Keely curled up on the couch. Keely had her head on Collins' chest and he had his arms wrapped around her protectively. They were sleeping. He smiled for a second before going over to quietly wake Keely up.

"Keel. Keel Baby, wake up." he whispered caressing her face.

"Roger, what are you doing here?" she asked as her eyes crept open.

"I need to talk to you Baby. I want to tell you everything. I want a future with you and I know I can't have that unless I let go of my past. And that means I have to tell you everything about April and Erik." he said as Collins began to smirk, but kept his eyes closed, feigning sleep.

"Are you sure Roger? I mean, really sure?" she asked looking into his eyes.

"I'm positive Keel." he said before taking her hand and leading her into his bedroom at the loft.

"Roger, I'm right here, OK? I'm not going anywhere and I won't let anything hurt you. I promise." she said looking over at him as they sat on the bed.

"I know Keel, but it's not gonna be pretty. I was a junkie and I wasn't a nice person back then. I never wanted you to meet the person I was back then." he said sitting next to her.

"I know you could never be that person again. You're a good man Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Here goes..." he started before telling her everything that happened in his past. How he and April got together, when they found out she was pregnant, when she lost the baby, everything. She just sat next to him and listened intently. "And then I found her in the bathroom. There was so much blood... I couldn't believe it. I um... I tried to kill myself too by shooting all the shit I had in me, but the medics found me and saved my life." he told her as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Roger." she whispered wiping her tears from her own face.

"It's OK. It's in the past, right? I'm here with you now and that's all that matters." he said holding her tight.

"I'm not gonna let anything hurt you anymore. I promise." she whispered caressing his hair as she held him. "You're safe with me Roger."

"I trust you Keel. I've tried not to ever trusted anyone in my life, but for some reason, I trust you Keel." he whispered looking up at her before reaching up to kiss her.

"And I'm gonna make sure you never regret it." she said holding him to her again.

"I could never regret anything about us Keel." he said looking down at her.


	39. Chapter 39

"Are you OK Keel?" Mimi asked as they sat at a corner table in the Life Cafe. Keely was quieter than usual.

"Huh? Oh... yeah. Um... yeah, I'm fine." she said holding her coffee mug in her hands.

"No you're not. You've been quiet all day. Talk to me chica." she said reaching over to touch her arm.

"I'm just a little tired... thinking about stuff, that's all." she said looking up at her.

"Is it Roger?" Mimi asked looking over at her as she nodded. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I mean... I asked him to tell me about April last night. We got into a little fight, but then he told me and I guess it hit me harder than I wanted it to." she asked looking up at her.

"You asked him to tell you about her?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah. I mean... he warned me that it wouldn't be pretty. But I made him tell me anyway. I just never imagined that it would have this affect on me." she said staring down into her coffee cup.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to hear about him with April, but at least he opened up to you. I've known him over a year and a half and I still don't know the whole story from him." she said reaching over to touch her hand.

"That's not it Mimi. I mean, I knew he had a life before me. The fact that he loved her and had a child with her isn't what bothers me." she said looking into her eyes. "It's what it did to him. I mean, you should have seen him. He was hurting so bad." she started as she fought tears.

"You love him, don't you?" Mimi asked smiling as Keely nodded quietly as a tear escaped her eye. "That's a good thing sweetie. Isn't it?"

"Normally it would be, but Mimi, we're positive. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I've never felt like this about anyone and when I do, he's dying just like me. Smart, huh?" she asked looking back down into her coffee mug to hide the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"Keely, I know what you're going through. You know I do. But you have to realize that if you and Roger make each other happy, isn't any time you have together better than none?" Mimi asked looking over at her.

"This is stupid. I mean, who am I to be upset, right? I mean, I'm positive too, but I just figured I liked him and he liked me, so being with him now was more important than dwelling on what was to come. I shouldn't be sitting here whining about how it's not fair. It's just... I've never been in love before. I didn't expect to fall in love with him. But I did." she told her, wiping the tears that had escaped her eyes.

"It's not fair Keel. You and Roger deserve to be able to have a lot more time together. A lot more time than you're gonna have. We all do. But sweetie, you have to make the best of the time you guys have together right now." she told her before taking her hand again. "He's in love with you too." she smiled as Keely looked up at her.

"He is?" she asked looking up at her.

"Are you kidding chica? I mean, the way he looks at you. The way he gets when anyone mentions your name, or when a song comes on the radio that you do at the club. You should see it Keel. It's like magic. Even the lame 80's songs you love. You transform him into this… I don't know... this other guy. One I've never met before you came into his life. He starts singing along. Bouncing around like a teenage boy. It's so cute. I've never seen him that way before." she laughed looking up at her. "And that's because of his feelings for you." she smiled.

"But Mimi, you know how scared he is of his feelings for me. The night we slept together he ran out of my apartment like it was on fire. You know he's never gonna tell me how he feels." Keely asked looking over at her.

"You never know. Roger's done a lot of things in this relationship that I never thought he'd do. He's full of surprises. No day but today." she smiled looking up as Roger walked into the café.

"Hey Baby." he smiled coming up behind Keely before leaning down to kiss her head.

"Hi honey bear." Mimi joked looking up at him.

"Ha ha. Are you taking care of my girl for me?" Roger smiled looking down at Mimi as he sat next to Keely who was laughing.

"I have a feeling she can take care of herself." Mimi smiled looking over at Keely.

"Oh, I know she can." she smiled taking Keely's hand in his. "What are you girls talking about?" he asked looking over at Keely.

"Nothing Baby. Just girl talk." Keely answered quickly as Mimi looked up at her as they sat drinking coffee

* * *

"What do you want for dinner Baby?" Keely asked as they entered her apartment.

"I don't know. Is Allie gonna be home?" he asked looking over at her.

"No, she's working late and then she's meeting up with Maureen and Joanne for dinner. She said she might crash at their place tonight." she answered looking up at him.

"In that case, I'm in a mood for a big cheesy pizza then a night alone with my girl." he smiled looking down at her as she went to the answering machine, which was blinking.

"You and those greasy pizzas. And you wonder why you always have heart burn all the time." she laughed as she pressed the button.

"No day but today, chica. Talk to you soon." The voice said cheerfully before hanging up.

"What the hell was that about?" he asked laughing.

"Something between me and Mimi. It's nothing." she answered walking away from the answering machine to go into the bedroom.

"Why did she tell you no day but today?" he asked following her as she stood by the dresser taking her earrings out of her ears.

"Just something we were talking about at the café. It's not a big deal Roger." she told him being evasive.

"Keel, I know Mimi. She doesn't just tell someone no day but today for no reason. Trust me. She's told it to me more than once when I needed to hear it." he smiled standing over her.

"It's not a big deal Roger, really. I'm gonna order the pizza. What do you want on it?" she asked walking away from him.

"Keel, I've known you a while and one thing I've learned is that you're a terrible liar. Talk to me. Why did Mimi call you just to tell you no day but today?" he asked walking after her.

"We were just talking about something and I needed to hear it, that's all." she told him, still avoiding his question.

"Dammit Keely, stop. Would you just talk to me please?" he asked raising his voice a little in frustration. "You were talking about us, weren't you?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah... yeah, we were." she answered quietly stopping in her tracks.

"What about us?" he asked walking behind her.

"We were talking about my feelings for you, OK? Are you happy now? You grilled it out of me." she yelled turning to look up at him.

"You know you can tell me anything Keely. I'm not going anywhere." he said taking her by her shoulders.

"Yeah, we both know that's not true Roger." she yelled looking up at him.

"What are you talking about Keel? I'm right here." he asked looking down at her.

"What about that night? Right before we slept together, you ran out of here so fast that you practically left skid marks by the door." she yelled looking up into his green eyes holding back tears trying to get away from him.

"I told you Keel. I'm done running. I'm not gonna leave you." he said holding on to her shoulders as he leaned down to look her in the eyes.

"Yeah, you say that now Roger, but what happens when I tell you how I feel and you run away again? Then I'll be alone with my feelings." she yelled as tears escaped her eyes.

"I won't." he whispered taking her into his arms to hold her. "Keely, I love you." he whispered kissing her head.

"Shut up Roger. Don't say that." she pleaded crying into his chest.

"Why not Keely? I do love you. More than I ever thought possible. Why do you think I finally told you about April and Erik? Because I love you." he whispered holding back his own tears.

"Why are you telling me this now?" she asked pulling away from him but he held on to her arm to stop her from running away from him.

"Because I love you. I've been wanting to tell you for a while." he said looking down at her.

"But why now?" she cried looking up at him.

"I'm in love with you Keel. I don't want to waste any more time being afraid of it." he smiled reaching up to caress her wet face.

"I'm in love with you too Roger. I didn't want to, but I fell in love with you." she cried as he wiped her tears from her face.

"You are?" he asked surprised.

"Mhm. That's what Mimi and I were talking about at the café before you came in. And that's why she called to tell me no day but today." she said looking up at him. "When did you know you loved me?" she asked looking up into his green eyes.

"The weekend at the beach house. When we were in the water after the football game that first day. I wanted to tell you that night, but then Mimi called you back to the fire when that song came on and everything got all screwed up. I lost my nerve after that." he said looking down at her.

"I wanted to tell you too, but I was scared to death that I would lose you if I did." she said looking up at him.

"You could never lose me Keel. You can't get rid of me that easily. I love you." he smiled taking her face in his hands.

"Some pair we are, huh?" she laughed looking up at him.

"So, what do we do now?" he asked smiling down into her blue eyes.

"You're asking me? I've never been in love before. And I never thought I'd ever get a chance to be after my diagnosis." she said looking up at him.

"So why me Keel?" he asked looking down at her.

"I don't know. There's just something about you that made me fall in love with you. I didn't want to... but I did. You're so different from anyone I've ever met." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Thank you for loving me Keel." he smiled kissing her harder.

"Move in with me Roger." she said breaking their kiss.

"You want me to move in here with you?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, why not? You spend more time here than you do at the loft anyway. Unless you're scared." she smiled looking up at him.

"I am not scared anymore. But are you sure Keel?" he asked looking down into her blue eyes.

"Of course I'm sure Roger. I'm in love with you. I don't want to be away from you any longer than I have to." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"I don't want to be away from you either Baby, I'm in love with you too." he smiled holding her in his arms.


	40. Chapter 40

"This must be killing you Mimi." Maureen whispered as Roger and Keely canoodled by the stage.

"They're in love Maureen. That's all I ever wanted. Look at them. I have never seen two people so happy in my life." she smiled watching as Roger held Keely in his arms and she threw her head back laughing.

"You're a better woman than me. If Joanne started dating someone else and I had to watch them act the way Roger and Keely are acting, I'd be flipping a shit." Maureen said looking down at her.

"Like how Marky felt when you first got together with Joanne?" she asked looking over at her.

"Oh, Marky was fine." Maureen said looking over at her.

"No, he wasn't Maureen." Mimi said looking over at her.

"He's friends with Joanne." she answered looking over at her.

"If he was so fine, why is he still not dating? He's still hung up on you, that's why." she answered turning away to drink her beer.

"He doesn't have another girlfriend because he's been working on his documentary. Right?" she asked looking over at her.

"Maureen, he finished that 9 months ago. Remember? We watched it on Christmas Eve. After you and Joanne found me and brought me to the loft." she said looking up at her.

"Oh my God." Maureen said looking down at her realizing that Mimi was right.

"Um... yeah, Maureen. But it's hardly the same thing. I wanted Roger to be with Keely. I'm sure Marky didn't want you to be with Jo." she said looking up at her.

"We gotta get Marky a girl." Maureen said looking down at Mimi. Mimi could tell she was serious.

"It's not gonna be that easy Maureen. He's been off the horse, so to speak, for a long time. You can't just find a girl and say here Marky, look what I got you." she laughed looking up at her.

"So what do we do?" Maureen asked looking down at her.

"Mark will know when he's ready. Don't worry. He'll find his Keely." she smiled looking up at her.

"What about you? When are you gonna find your Keely?" Maureen asked looking over towards the stage where Oliver was plugging wires into the speakers.

"I don't know. I mean, I already had my turn at love. I'm pretty content right now." she smiled as Keely walked up to them.

"Well, don't look now, but it looks like you have an admirer." Maureen smiled as Oliver stared up at Mimi every once in a while as he set up the stage.

"Another guitarist? I don't know." she said turning away from the stage to drink her beer.

"Hey girls." she smiled squeezing in between them.

"Hey Keel. So how are things with you and Roger?" Maureen asked looking down at her.

"Things couldn't be better. Thanks to Mimi." she smiled putting her arm around Mimi's shoulder.

"Sweetie, you and Roger the ones with the feelings. I just encouraged you to express them." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah well, thanks for the kick in the ass. I guess Roger's not the only one who needs it every once in a while." she smiled before kissing her on the cheek.

"I'm glad I could help. You and Roger are meant for each other. I liked seeing how happy you make each other." she smiled looking over at her.

"Well, whatever the reason. Thanks Mimi. I owe you." she smiled looking over at her.

"You're like a sister to me Keel. There's no need to thank me." Mimi smiled looking down at her.

"Baby, we're on in a few." Roger smiled coming up behind Keely.

"OK. Come on up front girls. I want my girls close. We'll hang out after the show." Keely smiled before rushing off with Roger.

"Come on. I wanna watch Roger and Keely perform together." Maureen smiled taking Mimi's hand and dragging her up front.

As the bohemians stood front and center watching Roger and Keely sing, they cheered louder then everyone in the whole bar combined.

_And I would do anything for love  
I'd run right into hell and back  
I would do anything for love  
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact  
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,  
Oh no, no way  
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that  
No, I won't do that_

_Anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love  
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that  
No, I won't do that_

_Some days it don't come easy  
Some days it don't come hard  
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end  
Some nights you're breathing fire  
Some nights you're carved in ice  
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again_

_Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true  
I know you can save me, no-one else can save me now but you_

_As long as the planets are turning  
As long as the stars are burning  
As long dreams are coming true  
You'd better believe it, that I would do_

_Anything for love  
And I'll be there until the final act  
I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact  
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way, tonight  
I would do anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that  
No, I won't do that_

_I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that_

_Some days I pray for silence  
Some days I pray for soul  
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll  
Some nights I lose the feeling  
Some nights I lose control  
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls_

_Maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be  
That's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep_

_As long as the wheels are turning  
As long as the fires are burning  
As long as your prayers are coming true  
You'd better believe it, that I would do_

_Anything for love  
And you know it's true and that's a fact  
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back  
But I'll never do it better than I do it with you. So long, so long  
I would do anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that  
No, I won't do that  
No, no, no, I won't do..._

_I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that  
I would do anything for love  
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do..._

_But I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way  
I would do anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love  
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that  
No, I won't do that_

Keely:_  
Will you raise me up? will you help me down?  
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?  
Will you make it all a little less cold?_

Roger:_  
I can do that  
I can do that_

Keely:_  
Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?  
Can you colourise my life, I'm so sick of black and white?  
Can you make it all a little less old?_

Roger:_  
I can do that  
Oh no, I can do that_

Keely:_  
Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?  
Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?  
Can you give me something I can take home?_

Roger:_  
I can do that  
I can do that_

Keely:_  
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?  
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?  
Will you take me places I've never known?_

Roger:_  
I can do that  
Oh no, I can do that  
_

Keely:_  
After a while you'll forget everything  
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling  
And you'll see that it's time to move on_

Roger:_  
I won't do that  
I won't do that_

Keely:_  
I know the territory, I've been around  
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down  
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around_

Roger:_  
I won't do that  
No, I won't do that_

_Anything for love  
Oh, I would do anything for love  
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that  
No, I won't do that_

"Go Roger and Keely." Mimi shouted as the whole bar erupted in cheers.

Later that evening

"Hey Mimi." Oliver smiled as they sat at the bar.

"Hey." she replied looking over at him.

"Um... I was wondering... um... do you wanna maybe go out to dinner with me sometime?" he asked looking over at him.

"I don't know if I'm ready to start dating yet. It's been a tough year for me." she said looking up at him.

"Come on Mimi. You gotta move on eventually. Why not with me? I mean, Roger did. Look at him. Him and Keel are really great together." he said looking down at her.

"Yeah but they belong together. There are no two people more right for each other than those two." she said looking over at them.

"Who's to say we don't belong together? Mimi, you don't know unless you take a chance." he said looking down at her.

"I don't know Oliver." she told him unsure.

"I know what you did for Roger, Mimi. You let him go so he could have true happiness. But now it's your turn." he smiled looking over at her.

"Roger was always Keely's, he just had to meet her." she smiled watching as Keely tried teaching Roger to dance to an 80's pop song on the jukebox to no avail.

"They are great together, huh?" he laughed watching them as Roger fumbled and Keely took his hips and started manually moving them to the music.

"Yeah, they sure are. I've never seen him that happy. Ever." she smiled looking over at them. "Or goofy. She brings out a side of him I never knew existed." she laughed as she watched Roger, who was grabbing Keely around her waist and she was trying to get him to stand up straight. They were laughing.

"So, what do you say? Go out with me? Please." he asked taking her hand.

"OK. I'll go out with you. But I wanna take things slow, OK?" she said looking down at her hand wrapped in his.

"OK Mimi. Anything you want." he smiled looking down at her as they talked some more.

"Do you see what I see?" Keely asked looking up at Roger as he held her in his arms as they slow danced to the Journey song Open Arms on the jukebox.

"Mhm." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Strap in, this is gonna be a fun ride." she laughed leaning close to him.

"I'm happy for her. I want her to be as happy as I am with you." he smiled dipping her before leaning down to kiss her hard.

"Woah, smooth move Davis." she laughed holding on to him tight.

"I have moves that'll sweep you off your feet Miss Keely Lynn O'Reilly." he laughed letting her up before picking her up into his arms.

"I have news for you Mr. Roger Matthew Davis, you've already swept me off my feet." she smiled holding him in her arms before leaning in to kiss him as they continued dancing.

* * *

"Um Roger, what are these?" Keely asked taking a pair of pajama pants out of the dryer as they did laundry at the Laundromat.

"My pajama pants. What do they look like?" he asked stuffing a pizza in his mouth.

"The Simpsons? How old are you?" she laughed looking over at him.

"I love Bart Simpson. Don't have a cow man." he smiled looking over at her.

"You are impossible." she laughed folding the pajama pants.

"Yeah well, I'm a trouble maker like Bart." he laughed coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yeah, my real life Bart Simpson." she laughed reaching back to caress his face.

"I love you Keel." he smiled leaning down to kiss her neck.

"I love you too Roger." she laughed turning around in his arms to face him before leaning up to kiss him.


	41. Chapter 41

3 months later

"What are you working on Baby?" Keely asked looking over Roger's shoulder as he plucked his guitar, staring at his notebook, which sat on the coffee table.

"A song, but it's not coming together. Dammit, this is so frustrating." he grunted putting his guitar next to the couch as she picked up the notebook.

"Is this my song? Oh I love it. It's beautiful." she asked sitting next to him.

"Yeah, but I hate it." he said looking up at her.

"How could you hate it? Roger, these are great lyrics. I wanna hear you sing it to me." she smiled handing him the notebook.

"It's lame." he complained taking the notebook from her.

"Um… hello. Have you met me Roger? I love lame." she laughed looking over at him.

"It sucks Keel. I'm gonna chuck it." he said looking over at her.

"Oh no you're not. This is my song and I want to hear my boyfriend sing it to me." she said looking down at him.

"It's not my best work Keel." he said looking over at her.

"I know music and this is amazing. It's really amazing. Why are you so critical of yourself?" she asked looking up at him as he got up from the couch.

"I don't know. I wrote one song in the last few years and it was for Mimi. It sucks that I'm having a hard time with yours." he said throwing his notebook on the table.

"Roger, you did write me a song. You just have to stop being so hard on yourself. And anyway, I don't need you to write me a song. I have you." she said getting up to go to him.

"But I do have to write you a song Keel. Don't you understand? I love you and I want to leave you something great." he said looking down at her.

"You are gonna leave me with the greatest thing a woman can have. The love of a lifetime. That's all I need Roger." she said reaching up to hold his face in her hands.

"Keel, I'm gonna be gone eventually and then you're gonna be left alone." he said looking down into her intense blue eyes.

"I am certainly not gonna be alone. I promise you that." she smiled leaning in to kiss him.

"We can't run from this forever." he said lifting his hand up to her face.

"Well then, we're just gonna have to love each other like crazy until it catches up to us." she said leaning up to kiss him deeper.

"It is gonna catch up to us Keel. One of these days." he said looking down at her.

"I know, but I'm not thinking about that day. I just want to love you while we're still here." she said looking up at him

"Same here Baby." he whispered holding her in his arms.

"So, how about you try by finishing my song. It's not gonna write itself." she laughed looking over at him.

"OK, but you have to help me." he laughed pulling back to look at her.

"Do I have to do everything around here?" she teased nudging him with her hip.

"Apparently so." he laughed leading her to the couch and picking up his guitar again as they worked on the song together.

* * *

"OK, what are we gonna do for Roger's birthday?" Mimi asked looking over at Keely as they sat in the cafe for their weekly lunch.

"Well, I have something planned on Saturday night during the show." Keely smiled drinking her coffee.

"You're gonna sing him a song, aren't you? What song?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"You'll see. But I promise, he's gonna love it." she laughed looking over at her.

"I got it. We can have a birthday party for him at the bar. We'll get a cake and sing Happy Birthday to him and everything. It'll be so embarrassing, he'll hate it." Mimi laughed looking over at Keely.

"I love it. Let's do it. But don't forget the balloons." Keely laughed looking over at her.

"What are you getting him?" Joanne asked looking over at Keely.

"I don't know, I was thinking of getting him a cell phone. I'm sick of him being stuck in the dark ages. It's like mine but it's black." she smiled looking over at them.

"A cell phone? You know Roger will never use one of things, right? I mean, he hates the fact that you have one." Joanne laughed looking over at her.

"I know, I'm just sick of not being able to get in touch with him when I need to. He needs to join the rest of the country in the new millennium." she said looking over at her.

"Keel, a cell phone is not exactly something you get your boyfriend for his birthday." Mimi said looking over at her.

"Why not? He needs one." she said looking over at her.

"Don't you think it's a little impersonal?" she asked leaning her elbows on the table.

"I don't know what to get him. I mean, I'm afraid if I get him what I really want to get him, he'll get scared off." she said looking over at her.

"What do you really want to get him Keel?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"An ID bracelet. I want to have it engraved." she said looking over at her.

"What do you want it to say?" Joanne asked looking over at her.

"I want it to say Roger on the front, of course, but on the back I want it to say You're still that guy and then a heart with the letter K next to it." she smiled looking over at them.

"What does it mean?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"It's just something I said to him the first night we performed together. He was outside complaining that he couldn't get up on stage with me and I told him how Tommy and the guys kept telling me about the guy who used to perform at the bar and how great he was. He was afraid he wasn't that guy anymore. But I knew he was." she smiled looking over at them remembering that night.

"You should do that Keel. It's perfect. He'll love it." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"You don't think he'll get scared?" she asked looking over at her.

"It's perfect Keel. You should get him that." Maureen smiled looking over at her.

"OK, I'll do it." she smiled looking over at her before taking another sip of her coffee. "Thanks."

* * *

"This is a special song for my boyfriend for his birthday. Happy birthday Roger." Keely smiled looking down at Roger who was standing behind the bar smiling. As the music started Mimi, Maureen, Joanne, Alison and Collins jumped on stage to join Keely. Roger and Mark started laughing.

"Oh lord, that woman is crazy." Roger laughed looking up at them.

_Oh, Roger, you're so fine  
You're so fine you blow my mind  
Hey, Roger  
Hey, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, you're so fine  
You're so fine you blow my mind  
Hey, Roger  
Hey, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, you're so fine  
You're so fine you blow my mind  
Hey, Roger_

_Hey, Roger  
You've been around all night  
And that's a little long  
You think you've got the right  
But I think you've got it wrong  
Why can't you say goodnight  
So you can take me home, Roger_

_'Cause when you say you will  
It always means you won't  
You're givin' me the chills, baby  
Please, baby don't  
Every night you still leave me alone, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, what a pity  
You don't understand  
You take me by the heart  
When you take me by the hand  
Oh, Roger, you're so pretty  
Can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Roger  
Oh, what you do, Roger, do, Roger  
Don't break my heart, Roger_

_Hey, Roger_

_Now when you take me by the hooves  
Who's ever gonna know  
And every time you move  
I let a little more show  
There's something you can use  
Wo don't say no, Roger_

_So come on and give it to me anyway you can  
Anyway you want to do it  
I'll take it like a man  
Oh, please baby, please  
Don't leave me in the damn, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, what a pity  
You don't understand  
You take me by the heart  
When you take me by the hand  
Oh, Roger, you're so pretty  
Can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Roger  
Oh, what you do, Roger, do, Roger  
Don't break my heart, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, you're so fine  
You're so fine, you blow my mind  
Hey, Roger, hey, Roger  
Oh, Roger, you're so fine  
You're so fine, you blow my mind  
Hey, Roger, hey, Roger  
Oh, Roger, you're so fine  
You're so fine, you blow my mind  
Hey, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, what a pity  
You don't understand  
You take me by the heart  
When you take me by the hand  
Oh, Roger, you're so pretty  
Can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Roger  
Oh, what you do, Roger, do, Roger  
Don't break my heart, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, what a pity  
You don't understand  
You take me by the heart  
When you take me by the hand  
Oh, Roger, you're so pretty  
Can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Roger  
Oh, what you do, Roger, do, Roger  
Don't break my heart, Roger_

_Oh, Roger, what a pity  
You don't understand  
You take me by the heart  
When you take me by the hand  
Oh, Roger, you're so pretty  
Can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Roger  
Oh, what you do, Roger, do, Roger  
Don't break my heart, Roger_

As Keely and the band finished the song, Roger was laughing as he cheered. "I love you Baby. Happy birthday." she laughed looking over at him.

"That lady of yours. She's something else. Definitely a keeper man." Mark laughed looking up at Roger as Keely and the band got ready for their next song.

"Yeah, that's my girl." he laughed watching her.

A/N:The song I did for Roger's birthday was Mickey by Toni Basil. I reworked it obviously. I thought it would be fun. I hope you're enjoying it so far. I'm enjoying writing it.

Renthead621


	42. Chapter 42

"That was the coolest thing tonight Keel. Thank you for my song." Roger smiled taking his jacket off before wrapping his arms around Keely's waist kissing her neck.

"Um... your birthday isn't over yet, you know?" Keely smiled looking up at him before reaching down for his hand and leading him into the bedroom.

"Mmmm, this is turning out to be the best birthday ever." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist as she walked towards the bed.

"Gross. Get a room." Alison complained going to her room.

"Good night Allie." Roger laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, good night Roger. Happy birthday. And guys, try to keep it down tonight." she laughed going into her room.

"Sorry Allie." she called out to her. "I have a feeling she bit off more than she can chew moving in with us, huh?" Keely laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah well, she knew what she was getting into. Now, where were we?" he smiled kissing down her neck.

"Not so fast tiger. At least not yet. Here." she laughed taking a box out of the night stand.

"What's this?" he asked looking down at the box.

"It's a birthday present. What does it look like?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Keel, you didn't have to do this." he said looking over at her.

"Yeah I did. You're my boyfriend and it's your birthday. I can't not give you a birthday present." she smiled looking up at him as she held out a rectangle shaped box.

"But you threw me a huge embarrasing party at the bar and sung me the best song anyone's ever sung for me. I don't need anything else Baby." he smiled looking down at her.

"Yeah but that was from everyone else too. This is from me." she smiled as he took the box from her and opened it.

"This is... wow Keel. This is the most incredible thing anyone's ever given me. I love it." he smiled taking the bracelet out of the box.

"Turn it over. I um... I had it engraved." she said looking up at him.

"You're still that guy." he read looking down at the bracelet. "I love it Keel. Thank you." he smiled leaning over to kiss her.

"Well you are. Still that guy. You know that right?" she asked looking up at him.

"That's because of you Keel. When Mimi broke up with me, I didn't know what I was gonna do with my life and then you came into it and you gave me purpose. You made me a want to be better man than I was." he smiled kissing her again.

"No Roger. You were always a good man. You just underestimated yourself." she smiled looking up at him.

"But you made me want to be better." he smiled reaching up to caress her face.

"You are a great man Roger Davis. Don't ever forget that. I love you." she smiled reaching up to take his hand in hers.

"I love you too Keely." he smiled kissing her again. As he lay her down on the bed, they began to make love.

* * *

"I'm not using this thing Keel." he protested holding the cell phone in his hand.

"Oh yes you are Roger. Now you are in the 21st century. Welcome." she smiled patting him on the head.

"Keel, you know how much I hate these things." he complained looking up at her.

"Yeah well, I'm sick of you hiding from technology." she smiled looking down at him.

"I'm not hiding from technology, I just prefer not to become a slave to it." he explained looking up at her.

"Oh stop. Take the phone and deal with it." she smiled leaning down to kiss his head before picking up her dance bag and leaving the apartment.

"I hate it Keel." he yelled after her.

"Yeah well I got it for you, so you better not lose it. I love you." she yelled back shutting the door behind her.

"Ugh, that woman." he called out looking down at the phone.

* * *

"Mmm, Roger is that you?" Keely groaned rolling over in bed.

"Yeah Baby, it's me." he smiled quietly taking his boots off.

"What time is it?" she asked looking over at him.

"Late, go back to sleep. I'm just gonna go in the shower and wash this cigarette smoke off of myself. I'll join you in a minute." he smiled reaching over to caress her arm.

"Roger, it's 4 in the morning. The bar closed at 1. Why are you so late?" she asked looking over at the clock.

"Something came up at the bar and I had to deal with it." he said sitting on his side of the bed.

"Is everything OK?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, um… Benny came into the bar tonight." he said quietly as she bolted up in the bed.

"Benny? Did you hit him?" she asked looking up at him.

"No Keel. I didn't hit him. He just came in to ask me how Allie was doing and we got to talking." he laughed quietly looking over at her.

"What did you tell him?" she asked looking over at him.

"I told him that Allie was doing really good and that she's working and stuff." he smiled reaching out to take her hand.

"Does he want back in?" Alison asked looking from the doorway.

"No. He wants you to be happy and he knows that if he was around again, you wouldn't be. He only wanted to check on you and make sure we were taking care of you." he said looking over at her.

"Did you tell him that Allie is perfectly capable of taking care of herself? She doesn't need anyone to take care of her. She's stronger than anyone gives her credit for." she smiled looking over at him.

"Do you really think so?" Alison asked looking over at her.

"We know so Al. I was one of the idiots who didn't have faith in you. But you really surprised everyone." he smiled squeezing her hand.

"Yeah well, I've been taken care of my whole life. I don't even think I knew what she was capable of until I came here." Alison smiled walking into the bedroom. "You guys helped me, you know? Especially you Keel." she added sitting on Keely and Roger's bed. "So what did Benny say?" she asked looking over at Roger.

"He still loves you. He knows he fucked up, but he still loves you Al. He also knows there's nothing he can do to make it up to you, so he just wanted to make sure that you were doing OK. Oh, and he gave me this." he said taking a thick envelope out of his back pocket and handing it to her. It was stuffed full of money.

"I don't need his money." she said handing it back to him.

"It's not his, it's yours. Your dad gave it to him to give it to you. So you don't have to struggle so much." he said looking over at her.

"Yeah well, I like struggling. I don't need it. I have a job and I'm supporting myself for the first time in my life. You guys take it. Use it for something big." she smiled getting up from the bed.

"Allie, we can't take your money." Keely said looking up at her.

"Think of it as an early Christmas present. I'm gonna go to bed. I have work in the morning. Good night. Love you guys." she smiled leaning down to kiss Keely's head before doing the same to Roger as she left the room.

"We love you too Alllie. She is the best roommate I've ever had." Keely smiled looking over at Roger.

"Baby, we can't take this. There's like 20 grand in here." he said looking over at her.

"Are you serious?" she asked looking over at him in disbelief.

"Very serious Keel." he said handing her the envelope.

"Oh my God. We're gonna have to do something for everyone with this money. On Benny." she smiled looking over at him.

"What were you thinking?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't know, but whatever it is it's gotta be good." she smiled putting the envelope in her nightstand.


	43. Chapter 43

One month later

"Oh man." Keely whispered looking down at her panties. She was 2 weeks late for her period and was hoping it would come today. She sat in the bathroom at hers and Roger's apartment wondering how she was gonna tell Roger that she was late. She got up and pulled up her pants before taking a deep breath and opening the door. When she got out into the living room Roger was getting his boots on. "You're going out?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I have to help Collins move some furniture at the loft. He just called and started rattling on. Something about Fung Shwai or something. God only knows what the hell that man is talking about sometimes." he laughed looking over at her tying his boots.

"Um... I was hoping we could talk." she said quietly sitting next to him on the couch.

"What's the matter Keel? You look pale. Are you feeling OK?" he asked reaching over to feel her head for a fever.

"Um... no Roger. I'm not sick. I'm um... I'm late." she said looking over at him.

"Late? As in... late, late?" he asked looking down at her flat belly.

"Um... yeah. Late, late. I have never been late like this before. Ever." she said looking over at him.

"You're pregnant?" he asked looking over at her.

"I haven't taken a test yet, but it's possible. Um... are you... are you angry?" she asked looking over at him.

"No, of course I'm not angry. Keel, we could be having a baby. This is incredible." he smiled leaning over to take her into his arms.

"We're HIV positive Roger. Nothing about that is incredible. We can't have a baby." she yelled pulling back from him with tears filling her eyes.

"Why can't we? Keely, we love each other. It's what people in love do, right?" he asked looking over at her.

"But we're not normal people Roger. We can't. We just can't. Don't you understand?" she yelled looking over at him as tears ran down her face.

"What's to understand? Keel, this is a good thing. We're gonna be someone's parents." he said raising his hand to her face.

"We're gonna die and leave this baby orphaned." she said getting up from the couch.

"This baby would not be an orphan. Mark, Allie, Oliver, Maureen and Joanne would never let that happen. They'll never let our baby be alone." he said getting up to go to her.

"This is too much Roger. I can't do this right now." she cried before getting up to leave the apartment.

"Keel, wait. Don't leave like this. We need to talk." he said going to her.

"I can't. Not right now. I need time to wrap my head around this. I'll be back later." she said rushing out of the apartment.

"Keel come back. Please." he pleaded rushing after her.

"Roger, I have to go. I can't be here right now." she yelled running down the stairs. He went back into the apartment and sat on the couch, putting his head in his hands. His girlfriend could be pregnant and she didn't even know if she wanted to be. He got up and left the apartment. He needed to talk to the one person he could always count on to give it to him straight. Collins.

Keely kept walking until she got to Mimi's apartment. She knocked on the door waiting for Mimi to answer. "Chica, what happened? Are you OK?" she asked looking over at her seeing that Keely had been crying. She shook her head no before lowering her gaze towards the ground.

"I think I'm pregnant Mimi." she cried softly looking up at her.

"Oh chica, come on in. We'll talk about it." she told her opening the door wider for her.

"What is there to talk about? Roger and I are HIV positive and I could be pregnant." she cried walking over to the couch. Suddenly her phone rang. She fished it out of her pocket and opened it to see who it was. " I wish he would just give me some space." she called out looking at the phone.

"Who is it chica? Roger?" she asked as Keely closed the phone and tossed it next to her on the couch.

"I can't talk to him right now. I just can't." she cried running her hands through her hair as she brought her knees to her chest.

"Does he know?" she asked as Keely nodded her head. "What did he say?" she asked looking over at her.

"He's delusional. He thinks it's gonna be great. We're both HIV positive and he thinks having a kid is gonna be great. What am I gonna do?" she asked looking over at her.

"What do you want to do?" she asked looking over at her.

"I don't know. I really haven't had any time to think about it. On the one hand, I love Roger so much and I want to have his child, but Mimi... we're HIV positive and I could be pregnant. This can't turn out well." she cried as Mimi wrapped her arms around her.

"You don't know that. It could turn out great. Keely, you're healthy and the baby could very well be born negative." she told her rubbing her back comfortingly.

"Oh my God, I never even thought of the baby being positive. I can't do that to my baby Mimi. I can't condemn it to the same death me and Roger are facing. And you and Collins too." she cried running her fingers through her hair.

"This is something you really need to talk to Roger about. I don't think you should make this decision alone. It involves him too." she said looking over at her.

"I know it involves him too, but he doesn't see that this is a bad idea. All he sees is that we could be becoming parents. He doesn't see what a bad idea this is." she cried as Mimi held her in her arms again.

"It's not a bad idea. You just have to get used to it." Mimi whispered looking over at her.

"I don't know what to do Mimi." she cried into her shoulder as they heard someone stomp up the stairs outside. "Oh my God, that's Roger. He's looking for me. I don't want to see him right now." she whispered looking over at Mimi.

"You have to talk to him Keel. He's the baby's father and he loves you." she said looking over at her.

"I can't talk to him. Not now." she continued to cry.

"At least he's not running chica." Mimi said looking over at her.

"No, instead I am." she cried holding Mimi tight.

* * *

"Dammit, she's still not answering her cell. She always has that thing up her ass, and now that I need to make sure she's OK she's not answering it. Where could she be?" he asked pacing around the loft.

"Give her time man. She's probably downstairs talking to Mimi. You know that's where she would go when she needs to talk to someone other you." he said looking up at him.

"I gotta go down to talk to her. I gotta make sure she's OK." he said going towards the door.

"You can't man. She needs to sort all this out. Leave her be for now." Collins said stopping him from leaving.

"I don't know what to do man. The woman I love could be pregnant and she's scared shitless and there's nothing I can do to make her see that this is a good thing." he said looking up at him.

"You might be a papa? Dude, this is wild." Collins smiled as Roger sat down on the couch.

"Yeah, too bad Keely isn't as happy as we are." he said looking up at him.

"She just needs to adjust to the idea. She's got a lot to think about, but that Babygirl loves you and is gonna make a great mama." he said looking over at him.

"You know that and I know that but she's so freaked out right now. I mean, we're both HIV positive and who knows how long we're gonna be around to raise this baby. " he said looking up at him.

"I'm sorry Roger. Maybe she just needs to get used to the idea. I mean, she's the one who's gonna be growing that little one in her womb and giving birth to it. It's a scary thing for a woman." he said looking over at him.

"And she's afraid that she's the one to give the baby HIV." he said looking own at his feet.

"Or not. Roger, modern medicine could do a lot these days." Collins said looking over at him.

"I don't know Collins. Maybe she's right. Maybe it's not a good idea. I mean, with our disease..." he whispered looking up at him holding back tears.

"You don't believe that, do you?" he asked looking down at him.

"No, of course I don't. I love her man and I want to be the father of her kids. It's what I've wanted since that weekend at the beach house. But what am I gonna do if she doesn't want the same thing?" he cried looking up at him as tears streamed down his face.

"I'm gonna call her cell. Maybe she'll pick up if she sees my number." he said going to the phone.

"No Collins, please don't call her. If she needs time to think about things, I don't want to suffocate her." he said rushing over to take the phone from him.

"Roger, she could be carrying your child. You two need to talk about this and figure out what you're gonna do. This isn't the time for you not to be talking to each other." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah, I know that. But I don't know what Keely's going through and I don't want her to think that I'm pressuring her to do something she doesn't want to do." he said looking over at him.

"Why would she think that?" he said looking over at him.

"Because I love her so much Collins. I have never wanted anything in my life as much as I want her to be the mother of my babies. And I'm afraid if I tell her that, she'll feel like she has to keep the baby for me." he yelled looking into his dark brown eyes.

"Really?" he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah man, she's my shot. My last shot at a normal life. Don't you see? When April lost the baby and then we got into shooting that shit, I thought I'd never have another shot again. I loved Mimi, but we both knew that she wasn't it. Keely is. From the minute I laid eyes on her in that bar I knew. I'm hers too. I know I am. But I'm afraid that if I talk to her now without letting her think about things and figure it out for herself, she's gonna resent me for wanting a baby with her." he told him letting go of the phone.

"Roger, do you want a baby because April lost your baby or do you want it because it's Keely's?" he asked looking over at him.

"I want it because it's mine and Keely's. I always wanted to see what our babies would look like, you know? I mean, with her big blue eyes and my chin. I want to spend the rest of my life with her raising our babies." he told him sitting heavily on the couch.

"So go home, wait for her and then you tell her the same thing you just told me." Collins said putting his hand on his shoulder.

"I will. Thanks man." he said looking over at him before leaving the loft. He walked quietly down the stairs, but Keely and Mimi heard him anyway. When he got to Mimi's apartment, he paused for a minute before continuing down the stairs to go home. When he got home, Alison was sitting on the couch folding laundry.

"Roger, what's the matter? You don't look so hot." she asked looking up at him.

"Keely might be pregnant." he said before plopping down on the chair.

"Keely could be pregnant? Roger, that's great. I mean, that is great, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, of course it is. It's just... she doesn't know if she wants to be a mother and the last thing I want is for her to do it for me. But I can't help but want her to be the mother of my kids, you know?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know. Did she take a test yet?" she asked looking over at him.

"Not yet. She's still freaked out about the idea of maybe being pregnant." he said looking over at her.

"Why don't I go buy a test and then when she gets home she can take the test and you'll know for sure whether she needs to freak out or not?" she suggested looking over at him.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Would you mind?" he asked looking over at her.

"Of course not. It's not like anyone would think it's for me or anything. That would require having sex, which we all know I haven't had in... well a long time." she said looking over at him.

"Information I didn't need to know Allie." he smiled faintly looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry honey. I'll be right back. I love you guys, you know that, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"We know Al. We've always known. Um... thanks for being Keel's best friend. I don't know what we would do without you." he smiled leaning over to hug her.

"Well, now you know what you're doing with the money Benny gave me. Getting the best medical care money can buy for Keel and your baby." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah, I just hope that's enough." he told her before kissing her head.

* * *

"I should go. Roger'll be worrying about me. I really need to talk to him." Keely said wiping her face dry. "He should be home by now, right? I mean, he left a while ago."

"Keel, why don't you call him? At least to let him know that you're all right. I don't think you should walk home alone." Mimi asked looking over at her.

"No, I'll be fine. And anyway I really do need to talk to him in person. This is not a conversation we should have on our cell phones. I'll be OK. I promise." she told her standing up.

"Do you want me to go with you?" she asked looking up at her.

"No, I'll be OK. I just need to talk to Roger about this. And most of all, I need to take a test. We have a huge decision to make. It makes no sense to drive myself crazy if I don't have to, right?" she said picking up her pocket book.

"Call me later, OK chica. Just so I know you and Roger are OK." Mimi said looking over at her.

"I will. Um... Mimi. Thanks for... you know... just thanks." she said looking over at her.

"No problem Keely. We're friends, right? I'll do anything for you." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah Mimi. We're definitely friends." Keely smiled faintly before hugging her and leaving the apartment.

When Keely got home, Roger was sleeping on the couch. His head was on the arm of the couch and his arms were folded across his chest. He had obviously fallen asleep waiting for her to get home. He looked so peaceful. She closed the door quietly and stood by the door staring at him.

"He just fell asleep a few minutes ago." Allison whispered coming out of her room.

"Did Roger tell you?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah sweetie. Are you OK?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, um... yeah I'm fine. I'm just... oh God Allie. What am I gonna do? I'm HIV positive and I could be pregnant." she cried wrapping her arms around her stomach before sliding down the door.

"It'll be OK Keel. You'll see." Allison said wrapping her arms around her comfortingly.

"Keely?" he called out waking up before rushing over to her.

"What if I am pregnant Roger? What are we gonna do then?" she cried looking up at him with her knees pressed tightly to her chest.

"I don't know Baby. All I know is that we love each other and I want to spend the rest of my life raising our kids with you." he said holding her to him as Allison sat next to them.

"Really?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course Keely. Any woman who can kick mine and Oliver's asses in football should be able to pass that on to a child." he said caressing her cheek as tears fell from his eyes.

"But we're HIV positive Roger, and our baby could be positive too. Because of me. Not you, me. Do you want that on your conscience? I don't." she yelled looking up at him as tear streamed down her face.

"But our baby could be negative Keel. The doctor could put you on meds to make sure the baby is negative." he whispered rocking her back and forth in his arms.

"Yeah and how are we gonna afford that Roger?" she asked looking up at him.

"You guys could use the money. And I could get more if you guys need it." Alison suggested looking over at her.

"But that's your money Allie. We can't use your money." she said looking up at her roommate.

"Sure you can. I gave it to you to something big. I'd say this is something big." she said playing with Keely's hair.

"Baby, we can do this. I know we can. We can do anything as long as we're together." he smiled looking down at her.

"Why do you want to do this so badly Roger? Is it because of Erik?" she cried looking up at him.

"No Keel. Of course not. It's because of you. Don't you see Keel? I was scared to death of everything when it came to my feelings for you and now look at us. We're in love, we're living together, we could be having a baby and look. I'm still here. I'm not scared anymore. That's because of you. You made me want to stop running away. With you I can do anything. I promises you everything was gonna be OK and no matter what, I'm gonna make sure everything will be OK." he said pulling back to look into her blue eyes which were blood shot and over flowing with tears.

"I don't know how you could promise me that Roger." she cried looking up at him.

"Somehow it will be Keely. I'm gonna take care of you. You and our baby." he whispered pulling her close to him again.

"And what about when you can't anymore? When you're not here to take care of us? Or when I'm not here to take care of the both of you? Then what?" she cried leaning into his chest.

"I can help. I'll do anything for you guys. Why don't you take the test and then we'll make a decision then, OK?" Alison smiled playing with Keely's hair.

"I don't know what to do." she cried holding him tight.

"You won't have to do this alone Baby. We'll figure it out together." he whispered leaning down to kiss her head as she continued to cry.

"I need to get a test." she said looking up at him.

"I already took care of that. It's in the bathroom waiting for you." Alison said playing with her long blond and brown hair.

"OK." she agreed looking up at him before getting up from the floor.

"I'll be right here when you're ready." he said looking up at her.

"OK Baby." she said looking over at him as he got up from the floor.

"Me too. I'm um... I'm here too." Alison smiled wiping her eyes.

"Thanks Allie." she smiled looking over at her.

"Keel, I love you." he called out looking over at her.

"Me too Keel. I love you too." Alison smiled looking up at her.

"I know. I love you guys too." she smiled before opening the door to the bathroom and going inside.

"Are you OK in there Baby?" he asked approaching the door.

"Yeah Roger, I'm fine. I can pee by myself. Been doing it for years." she called out mildly amused.

"You know what I mean Keel." he laughed leaning against the door.

"Yeah, I know Baby. I'm just playing around with you." she laughed wiping herself and putting the test stick on the counter and pulling her pants up then opening the door.

"What does it say?" he asked standing in front of her.

"I don't know yet. We have to wait a few minutes." she whispered rubbing her hands together as she walked to the couch.

"It's gonna be OK no matter what Keel." she said following her to the couch.

"I hope you're right." she told her sitting down before putting her head in her hands.

"It will be. You'll see Keel. Everything is gonna be OK." he told her wrapping his arms around her bringing her close to him.

"I think it's time Baby. I can't look. I just can't." she said looking up at him.

"Do you want me to go look?" Alison asked looking down at her.

"Can you? I'm so scared." she asked looking over at her.

"Don't worry Keel. It'll be OK." she smiled squeezing her hand before getting up to go towards the bathroom.

"I love you Keel. No matter what it says, I love you." he asked looking over at her.

"I know. I've always known." she smiled looking up at him as Alison stood in the bathroom doorway holding the test stick.

"Well. What does it say Allie?" Roger called out looking towards the bathroom.

"Two lines. What does two lines mean? Damn, I wish I would have read the damn box. What does two lines mean?" she asked looking over at them.

"Um... I think it means we're gonna have a baby." she smiled starting to cry. Only this time they were tears of joy.

"We're gonna... it's true? We're gonna have a baby?" he asked as tears flooded his eyes.

"Yeah, you guys are gonna have a baby." Alison smiled looking over at them.

"Looks like in 9 months, there's gonna be a lot of crying in this place." Keely laughed looking over at her.

"Not to mention the baby." Alison laughed as Roger took Keely's face in his hands.

"I love you Keely." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled holding him tight.


	44. Chapter 44

"So, it was positive. Does that mean that you decided to have the baby," Mimi asked talking to Keely on her cell phone.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have mine and Roger's baby." she smiled looking down at her flat belly.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she asked sitting on her couch.

"Yeah it is Mimi. I mean, Roger and I talked about it and he's convinced we can do this, and I trust him." she said rubbing her head. "Oh my God. I sound like one of those women who need their men to make their decisions for them, don't I?" she groaned looking down.

"No, you don't. You sound like you have faith in Roger and his love for you and this baby, so you're hanging on to that right now. I can understand that." she said looking over at the picture of Roger and Keely that was hanging in her apartment.

"It's just... how can I give up on mine and Roger's baby, you know? I mean, this baby was made out of love. The love me and Roger have for each other. How can I give up on that? It'll probably be our only chance to be parents." she said looking up at her.

"I know sweetie. I'm glad you guys talked and decided to keep the baby. I always wondered what your kids would look like." she laughed looking down at her fee.

"You did?" she asked surprised.

"Of course. We all did. We have a pool going around. Maureen, Joanne and Oliver are betting on your eyes with Roger's chin and me, Allie, Collins and Marky are betting on Roger's eyes with your little nose. Either way, that's gonna be one good looking kid with you two as it's parents." she laughed into the phone.

"Thanks Mimi. Oh, you're coming to the bar tonight, right? Roger's gonna unveil my song." Keely insisted.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it chica." she smiled before the women concluded their phone call.

"Um... I gotta go. I have to start getting ready, so I'll see you later." she smiled holding the phone.

"Yeah chica. You will." she smiled before hanging up the phone.

* * *

"This is a song I wrote for my girl. I love you Keely." Roger smiled as he stood on the stage as Keely cheered him on from the front row with Allison, Mimi, Maureen, Joanne, Mark and Collins.

"This is so exciting Keel." Allson smiled putting her arm around Keely's shoulder.

"Yeah it is." she smiled looking over at her before smiling up at Roger.

_If the heart is always searching,  
Can you ever find a home?  
I've been looking for that someone,  
I'll never make it on my own  
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,  
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true._

_When you look me in the eyes,  
And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes._

_How long will I be waiting,  
To be with you again  
Gonna tell you that I love you,  
In the best way that I can.  
I can't take a day without you here,  
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear._

_When you look me in the eyes,  
And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes._

_More and more, I start to realize,  
I can reach my tomorrow,  
I can hold my head up high,  
And it's all because you're by my side._

_When you look me in the eyes,  
And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When I hold you in my arms,  
I know that it's forever.  
I just gotta let you know,  
I never wanna let you go._

_When you look me in the eyes._

_And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes.  
Oh _

"That was an awesome song Keel." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, it was. I'm so glad I convinced him to get back up there again." she smiled looking up at him.

"How come you're not up there?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"I wanted to hear my song from down here. Plus, look at him. He's so happy. I can't see that from up there. Not like this." she smiled watching Roger on stage as tears stung her eyes. She had never seen him so happy.

"Are you OK?" Mimi asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'm perfect. Look at him up there. He's home, isn't he?" she asked looking over at her.

"Because of you Keel. You got him up there again." Alison smiled looking over at her.

"Did you make an appointment to see the doctor yet?" Mimi asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I go tomorrow. Roger is so nervous." she said looking over at her.

"Good because you need to talk to a doctor about meds and stuff." she said looking over at her.

"Don't you think my boyfriend worries enough for everyone?" Keely asked looking over at her.

"I'm not worried. You're my best friend. I'm just looking out for you." she insisted looking over at her.

"You're my best friend too Mimi." she smiled as they looked back up at Roger who was smiling at them.


	45. Chapter 45

The next day

"Would you two like to hear your baby's heartbeat?" the doctor smiled looking down at Keely as she lay on the examining room table.

"You can do that?" Roger asked looking up at him.

"Sure." he smiled as he put the special stethescope on Keely's belly.

"What is that? It sounds weird." Roger asked looking up at the doctor.

"Gimme a minute Mr. Davis." he smiled listening to the baby's heartbeat.

"What is it? Is everything OK? Is there something wrong with my baby?" Keely asked looking up at him.

"It sounds like there are two heartbeats." he smiled looking down at them.

"Two? As in two babies?" Keely asked looking up at him.

"Sounds like." he smiled looking down at her.

"But how?" she asked as Roger squeezed her hand.

"Remember Baby, I'm a twin." he smiled looking up at her.

"Oh right. Oh man. We're having twins Roger." she laughed looking over at him.

"I love you Keel." he laughed leaning in to kiss her.

"You better. I'm carrying your twins." she laughed lifting her hand up to caress his face.

"Don't worry Baby. You never have to worry about me loving you. I'll love you forever." he smiled kissing her again.

* * *

"Twins? Where the hell did twins come from?" Oliver asked looking over at them as they sat around the loft.

"I'm a... I'm a twin." Roger smiled as Keely sat in his arms on the couch.

"You're a twin? I didn't know that. How come we never knew that?" Mark asked looking over at him as Keely looked up at Roger.

"Yeah, um... my brother Randy died when we were 16. Car accident. I don't like talking about it. No one knew actually. Well except for Collins and Keely." he said looking up at him.

"We're so sorry Roger." Maureen said looking over at him.

"It's OK. I mean, who knew Keely would get pregnant with twins." he smiled looking down at Keely as he played with her hair.

"You guys are getting two for the price of one." Mimi laughed looking over at them.

"Yeah, so you better not want another one too quickly Mr. Davis." Keely laughed looking up at him.

"I'm making no promises Miss O'Reilly." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

* * *

A week later

"Can I get you anything Baby?" Roger asked as Keely knelt in front of the toilet throwing up from morning sickness.

"Do I look like you can get me anything?" she snapped looking up at him.

"I'm sorry Keel. It's just... you've barely eaten anything in days because all you do is throw up. You really need to be checked out. Maybe they can change your meds or something. You're getting worse. At least get blood tests to make sure everything is OK." he insisted looking down at her.

"I think he's right Keel. This can't be normal." Alison said standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

"I don't need to get blood tests. Morning sickness is just a normal part of being pregnant. You guys worry too much." she said looking up at him before standing up to go to the bedroom.

"Well I am worried about you. You're the woman I love and you're carrying my kids. I'm allowed to worry." he told her reaching up to caress her face.

"I wish you would stop worrying about me. I'm fine." Keely said sitting on the bed.

"We can't help it Keel. We love you and those babies." Alison said looking over at her from the doorway of the bedroom.

"I know and I love you guys too. But I'm fine. I'm gonna lay down for a little while, OK?" she said looking over at them.

"Take care of her Roger, OK?" Alison said looking up at Roger.

"Don't worry. I will Allie. Why don't you go to work? You're gonna be late." he said leaning down to kiss her head.

"OK sweetie. I'll call you later, OK?" she smiled faintly before leaving the apartment.

"Is Allie gone?" she asked laying on the bed.

"Yeah she had to go to work, but she made me swear to take care of you." she smiled looking over at her.

"You two don't have to keep worrying about me." she said looking up at him.

"Well I like worrying about you Keel. You're the love of my life and you're carrying my daughters. It's my job." he smiled looking over at him.

"Why don't you come and lay down next to me? I'm tired and I need to feel your arms around me." she said looking up at him. Her eyes were red and she looked pale.

"OK Keel. I'll lay down with you. But if you still don't feel good tomorrow, I'm taking you to the doctor, if I have to carry you the whole way." he said reaching out to caress her soft face.

"Fine Roger. I promise. If I don't feel good by tomorrow, I won't fight you." she said as she scooted over a bit so he could fit next to her.

"I love you Keel, I'm just worried about you and our babies. And I promised to take care of you." he smiled. He faced her as he laid down holding her in his arms before kissing her head and falling asleep next to her. A few hours later, Roger was awoken by the sounds of Keely in the bathroom. She was throwing up.

"Oh god, this sucks." she groaned kneeling in front of the toilet.

Roger jumped up from the bed and rushed in to her. "Keel, oh my god, are you OK Baby?" he asked kneeling next to her.

"Yeah, I'm OK." she insisted wiping her mouth with a piece of toilet paper before sitting against the wall next to the toilet. "God I hate this. Why do they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day and night?"

"That's it. Get dressed, I'm not waiting until tomorrow. I'm taking you to the doctor now." he said picking her up into his arms.

"Roger, I said I'm OK now. I think I'm feeling better." she lied holding on to his neck.

"No Keel. You're not. You're going to the doctor now. Do I have to carry you wearing my t-shirt and boxers or are you gonna get dressed so you can go voluntarily?" he asked looking over at her.

"Fine Roger. You win. I'll go voluntarily." she submitted as he put her down on the bed before taking clothes out of her dresser for her to change into.

"Why are you fighting me on going to the doctor?" he asked looking down at her.

"I'm afraid that my t cells dropped and I know you can't handle that kind of news." she said looking up at him.

"Baby, if you're sick, you need to find out so I can take care of you. Maybe there's something the doctor can do." he said as she got changed as he paced around the bedroom waiting for her.

"But if I'm sick Roger, I'm afraid of what you're gonna do." she said looking up at him.

"Baby if you're sick, I wanna take care of you. I'm not going anywhere." he insisted kneeling in front of her.

"That's not what I'm afraid of." she said looking down into his green eyes.

"Baby whatever happens, I love you and I'm not gonna leave you. You have to know that." he assured her reaching up to caress her face.

"Roger, me and the babies are OK, you know?" she said looking down at him.

"I know you are. I just want to make sure." he said leaning up to kiss her head.

"OK, I'm ready." she said standing before him. She had on sweatpants and one of Roger's t-shirts. Her hair was up and she was paler than she looked before.

"OK Baby." he smiled slightly as they left the apartment.

* * *

"Miss O'Reilly, how can I help you today?" the doctor asked feeling her glands.

"Well, I'm pregnant with twins and since I'm HIV positive the doctor put me on the prenatal meds. Well I've been really sick the last week or so." she answered with her head held high so he could examine her.

"You do realize that morning sickness is normal for the first trimester of pregnancy, right?" he asked looking down at her chart.

"Yes of course I do, but my boyfriend is really worried." she said looking over at him.

"I'd like to test your t cells, viral load. Just to rule it out. Wait here and I can have a nurse come in and take some blood." he smiled before leaving the examining room. She sat on the table fidgeting with her hands. Her biggest worry was being sick.

"Hi Miss O'Reilly, I'm just gonna take some blood and we can start on the tests that the doctor ordered. The tests won't be ready until later this week, OK?" the nurse smiled looking over at her as she tied the tourniquet onto Keely's bicep.

"OK." she answered quietly. She was very nervous and the nurse could tell.

"Are you OK? Is there anyone you'd like to call to be here with you while you wait?" she asked looking over at her as the blood drained into the tube.

"My boyfriend is outside. Can he come in?" she asked looking over at her.

"Is he the babies father?" she asked looking down at her.

"Yes he is." she said looking up at her.

"Of course. As soon as I'm done with this, I'll go get him, OK?" she smiled looking down at her. "It's gonna be OK. Don't worry about anything." she smiled putting a bandaid on her arm.

"Thank you." she smiled slightly looking up at her as she left the room. As she waited for Roger, she looked around the room. There were planned parenthood posters hanging on the wall as well as HIV prevention posters. They warned about using safe sex to not only prevent pregnancy, but the spread of HIV as well.

"Is everything OK Baby? Did the doctor say anything? Is he doing blood tests on you?" Roger asked as he entered the room.

"Yeah they took some blood to test my viral load and my t cell count, just in case. He said that morning sickness is normal for women in their first trimester. A fact I told you days ago." she said looking up at him as he stood next to her.

"I know. I just want to make sure that that's the reason that you're throwing up." he said looking down at her.

"The tests are gonna take a few days." she answered getting off of the table to walk around the room.

"Baby, you're fine. I just want to make sure." he said looking over at her.

"I'm scared Roger. What if I'm throwing up my meds and the babies meds? That can't be good." she said leaning against the sink not facing him.

"That's why I wanted you to get checked out. I'm just trying to take care of my girl our babies." he said walking over to her.

"Yeah well, you can't take care of this, can you?" she asked turning to look up at him. There were tears in her eyes.

"I can fight like hell to try, can't I?" he asked reaching down for her hand.

"Yeah I guess." she said trying not to cry, but failing.

"Keel you're gonna be OK.." he said bringing her to his chest for comfort.

"I hope so." she said looking up into his green eyes.

"Miss O'Reilly can I talk to you alone, please?" the doctor asked seeing Roger in the room.

"It's OK doctor. Anything you have to say to me, you can say it in front of my boyfriend." she smiled with her arms around Roger's waist.

"OK, well I did a couple of tests and for now I'm noticing that you're a bit anemic. This can be common in women during pregnancy. Especially with mulitiple fetuses." he said looking down at the chart.

"So what do we do?" Roger asked impatiently looking over at him holding Keely in his arms.

"I can give you iron pills and folic acid. This will not interract with your other meds and it will help the babies. There are also some things you can eat to help with the nausea." he said as Roger hold Keely closer to him.

"That's it?" Keely asked in disbelief.

"For now. I mean, the other tests won't be back until later this week, but I'm sure you're gonna be fine." the doctor said looking over at them.

"Thank you doctor. Thank you so much." Roger smiled looking over at the doctor. "Did you hear that Baby. You're OK." he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, for now." she mumbled before leaving the examining room with him.

* * *

"I hope everything's OK. They haven't answered the phone all day." Mimi said hanging up the phone as she turned to Oliver, who was getting dressed.

"I'm sure they're fine. You know Roger and Keely. When they're together, no one else exists." he smiled buttoning his jeans.

"Yeah, but it's not like them not to answer their phones all day. At least it's not like Keely. I'm not liking this. And with Keely pregnant..." she told him leaning against the table.

"Baby, you worry too much." he told her getting up to go to her.

"No, I don't. This is not like them. Keely's not even answering her cell. You know she has that cell glued to her ear. What if something happened? I mean, she hasn't been feeling good all week and now they're not answering their phones. I'm calling Allie." she asked looking up at him.

"It's gonna be OK Mimi. Just relax. You left like 30 messages on each of their phones. They'll call back." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"I hope so. I don't like not being able to get in touch with them. Especially since Keely's pregnant and she hasn't been looking so good lately." she said looking up at him as he took her into his arms.

"She's fine Mimi. Don't worry about Keely. Roger would never let anything happen to her." he reassured her.

"I just hope she's nothing happened to her or the babies. They couldn't handle that shit." she said holding him tight.

"Nothing happened to the babies. Don't worry about it." he said kissing her head again as she called Allison's cell phone.

* * *

"Is everything OK?" Mimi asked jumping up to go to them as they entered the loft.

"Um... yeah. I'm gonna go lay down in Roger's room. I'm really tired." Keely said looking over at her as she went to Roger's room.

"Is she OK? Allie said she's been really sick. You can tell me Roger. You'd tell me right if there was something wrong, wouldn't you?" Mimi asked looking up at him.

"She's fine Mimi. She just has a lot of morning sickness and the doctor said that she's anemic." he said going to the kitchen.

"Roger, what are you not telling me?" she asked chasing after him.

"Nothing. I took her to the doctor today and they took some blood." he told her taking a beer out of the refrigerator.

"Do they think her levels dropped?" she asked looking up at him.

"No. I mean, they're taking the tests to make sure, but they said that she's anemic, but that's normal during pregnancy. Especially with twins." he told her quietly looking down holding back tears.

"Roger, she's gonna be OK. They all are. There's no reason why we should believe that her levels dropped." she said putting her hand on his arm.

"I'm so scared Mimi. I love her more than I ever thought I would love anyone in my whole life. If anything happened to her..." he started before reaching out to hold her in his arms.

"Nothing is gonna happen to her. There is not a single person in this world who is more stubborn than Keely. Except maybe you. Trust me. To be with you and those babies as long as possible, she'll do anything." she said holding on to him.

"I'm just so scared." he told her quietly so Keely wouldn't hear him.

"Roger, can I ask you something?" Mimi asked looking up at him.

"What's up?" he asked letting go of her.

"How come you haven't asked Keely to marry you yet? She's carrying your babies, the next logical step is to marry her, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"It's complicated Mimi." she said walking away from her.

"What's so complicated? Roger, you asked April to marry you, why haven't you asked Keely?" she asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. It's different with Keely. I mean, I was a stupid kid back then. I wasn't thinking about anything but what I wanted. Mimi, I grew up in a house that was less than perfect. My parents marriage was such a mess. I don't want to do that to Keely and our kids." he said looking down at her.

"You two are not your parents Roger." she said looking over at him.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked looking over at her.

"You're a good man Roger. You love her and she loves you. You could never do what your step father did to you and your mother. But those babies need a family." she said looking up at him.

"And they're gonna have a family Mimi. I'm gonna be their father no matter what. Me and Keel don't need to be married for us to be a family." he said looking over at her. "Why? Has she said something?" he asked looking over at her.

"She doesn't have to say anything. It's written all over her face. She wants to be your wife before she's a mother." she said looking back at him as he paced around the loft.

"Mimi, she doesn't have to be my wife to know I love her and the babies. I'm just afraid of turning into my father." he said running his fingers through his short cropped blond hair.

"You could never do that. But do you think it's fair to her to have just been your girlfriend?" she said looking over at him.

"If she wants to get married, she'll talk to me about it Mimi. When have you ever known Keely to be shy about anything?" he said looking over at her before sitting on the window seat to look out the window.

"Knowing how you are, I wouldn't be surprised if she was afraid to bring it up to you." she said looking over at him.

"Afraid of what? Keely knows I would never hurt her." he asked looking over at her.

"She's afraid of your feelings. God knows you obviously still are." she said looking over at him as Keely listened to the conversation from the bedroom door.

"I am not afraid of my feelings for her Mimi. I'm the one who said I love you first and when we found out she was pregnant, I was more excited than she was at first." he argued looking over at her.

"Yeah, but that's different. I mean, this is marriage Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah, I know." he said looking over at her as Keely walked back to Roger's bed and laid back down

A/N: The song I used as Roger's song to Keely is a Jonas Brothers song called When You Look Me In The Eyes. I know, I know, The Jonas Brothers? But hey, I think it's a beautiful song. I love the lyrics. It kind of goes along with Roger's obsession with eyes. LOL Blame my 13 year old daughter. Look up the song on youtube or something. It's really nice and I thought it would be a nice song for Roger to Keely.

Renthead621


	46. Chapter 46

A week later

"Roger, we're gonna have to call my parents sooner or later. I don't want them to find out they're gonna be a grandparents from Oliver." she smiled as they lounged on the couch with him caressing her tiny belly.

"Keel, your dad is gonna kill me." Roger said looking up at her.

"You're afraid of my father? Roger, you've got at least 2 inches on him, and I doubt he works out much anymore. I really think you can take him." she laughed looking down at him playing with his hair.

"I'm serious Keel. I swore I was gonna take care of you. Getting you pregnant is not exactly taking care of you." he said getting up from the couch.

"Roger, they know you love me and would never let anything happen to me. The doctor said that this pregnancy will not endanger my life at all. As long as I keep on my meds and take care of myself, I should be fine. You're worrying too much." she said looking up at him.

"But I swore to him I'd take care of you. That we'd take care of each other." he said sitting next to her again.

"And you are taking care of me Roger. Me and our babies. How about we go to Minnesota and tell them this weekend? We can leave on Saturday morning and be back by Monday morning. It'll be fun." she smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'd hate for your father to have to fly to New York to kill me. This'll make it so much easier for him." he said leaning back against the couch.

"Oh stop. They'll be happy for us. You worry way too much." she laughed leaning up to kiss him.

"Yeah, I worry about dying at the hands of your father." he muttered looking up at her.

* * *

"Are you OK Keel? You seem different lately." Mimi asked as they sat at the bar. She drank beer while Keely drank water.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My morning sickness is gone and I have a lot more energy now that I'm keeping food down." she smiled looking over at her.

"Well that's good." she smiled looking over at her.

"Look at him. As much as I like being with him. I just love watching him from afar sometimes." she smiled as she watched Roger laugh with the guys.

"Yeah, he has been especially happy lately, hasn't he?" she asked smiling at her.

"He has every reason to be happy. He's gonna be a daddy." Keely smiled as Roger approached her.

"Hey Baby. Are you almost ready to go? Our flight is early tomorrow morning." Roger asked looking down at her.

"So, you're going to Minnesota to tell your parents about the babies?" Mimi asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, Roger's a little scared." she smiled looking over at her.

"Oh yeah. We wouldn't want your dad to have to fly to New York to kill Roger." she laughed looking over at her.

"See, I told you." he said looking down at Keely.

"Oh stop. You're exaggerating. My dad is gonna be happy. He's gonna be a grandpa." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah, because knocking up his only child is a great way to get on a man's good side." Mimi laughed looking up at Roger who looked freaked out.

"That's it. I'm not going." Roger said looking down at Keely.

"Mimi, quit it. She's only messing with you Baby. He's not gonna kill you. He likes you already." Keely told him before slapping Mimi's arm playfully.

"Sorry chica. I was just having a little fun." Mimi laughed rubbing her arm where Keely slapped her.

"We have to get going Baby. Do you want to help me put everything away?" Roger smiled looking down at her.

"Sure Baby. We'll be right back." Keely smiled looking over at Mimi.

"OK chica." she smiled watching them go to the back of the bar.

"Mmmm alone at last." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"You don't need help, do you?" she laughed kissing him back.

"Nope. Just wanted a minute alone with my girl." he smiled looking down at her before wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You are a hopeless romantic Davis." she laughed looking up at him.

"Only when it comes to you." he laughed looking down at her. "Come on Baby, let's go say goodbye to everyone and get home." he suggested before leaning down to kiss her.

"OK Baby." she smiled as they walked back out to the bar where the bohemians were drinking and singing to the jukebox.

"_Let's do the time warp, agaaaain." _everyone sang jumping around dancing. _"It's just a jump to the left." _they sang as everyone jumped to the left. _"And a step to the riiiight." _they stepped laughing. _"Put your hands on your hips. And pull your knees in tight." _

"Should we interrupt them?" Roger asked smiling down at Keely as they watched Mark film Collins, Alison and Maureen dancing while Joanne, Oliver and Mimi sang to the song on the juke box.

"_Do some pelvic thrusts. That really drives you insaaaane. Let's do the time warp agaaain."_ they all sang laughing.

"Not yet. I like watching them like this." she smiled watching them with her arms folded across her chest.

"Come on you two. Mark's making a best of movie and you two should get over here." Mimi smiled looking over at them.

"We're coming." Keely laughing as Roger wrapped his arms around her tiny belly as they walked over to the others.

* * *

"Are you sure he's not gonna kill me?" Roger asked as they stood outside the O'Reilly home.

"I'm positive Roger. Stop being such a baby." she laughed looking up at him.

"I'm not being a baby. I just don't want him to kill me before my kids are born." he said looking down at her.

"You are such a drama queen." she laughed looking up at him.

"Not a drama queen. I'm just scared that your dad is gonna kill me for knocking up his little girl." he said looking down at her.

"He's not gonna kill you Roger. Trust me. Now come on." she smiled before approaching the door of the O'Reilly home ringing the doorbell. "Hi mom." Keely smiled looking up at her mother as she stood on the front stoop of the O'Reilly house.

"Keely. I didn't know you and Roger were coming. What a nice surprise. What brings you two here? You're not sick are you?" she asked hugging her daughter bombarding her with questions.

"No mom. Don't worry. Roger and I are taking very good care of each other. Um... where's daddy?" she asked looking around the house.

"He's in his den, I'll get him. Martin, get out here. We have surprise visitors." she called out ushering them into the house.

"I'm coming. Why are you yelling? Keely, Roger. What are you two doing here?" he asked rushing to the door.

"I wanted Roger to see where I grew up. Um... we also have to tell you guys something and we didn't want to tell you over the phone." she said looking up at Roger who had yet to speak.

"You're not sick are you?" Mr. O'Reilly asked looking down at his daughter.

"No daddy. I'm not sick. I'm pregnant. Roger and I are having twins." she smiled looking up at him.

"Twins? Oh my... Where did twins come from?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked smiling over at them.

"Roger's um... Roger's a twin." she smiled looking up at her.

"I never knew that." she started until Roger interrupted her.

"It's OK Mrs. O'Reilly. I had a twin brother. He um... he died a long time ago." Roger said looking down at Keely.

"I'm so sorry Roger. So, when are you two getting married?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked looking over at her. "When are you due? How far along are you?" Mr. O'Reilly smiled looking down at her.

"2 and a half months. I wanted to wait to tell you. In case something happened. But the doctor said that everything is good. Really good actually." she smiled looking up at her.

"I tried to tell her that she should tell you guys, but you know Keely." Roger smiled looking down at Keely.

"Oh yeah, tough guy. He was afraid daddy was gonna kill him for getting me pregnant." she laughed looking up at Mr. O'Reilly.

"Why would I kill you? You have at least 2 inches on me. I'm pretty sure you can take me, no problem." Mr. O'Reilly laughed looking over at Roger.

"Good one daddy. See, I told you Baby." Keely laughed reaching up to give her father a high five.

"Yeah, yeah. You told me." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

"Mom, would it be OK if me and Roger stayed in my old room?" Keely smiled looking up at her mother.

"Sure sweetie. How long are you two staying?" she asked looking over at her.

"Just until Monday morning. Roger has to get back to work and I still have rehearsal and dance class. At least until I'm too fat to do it." she said looking up at her as she followed her up the stairs.

"Roger, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mr. O'Reilly asked looking up at Roger.

"Daddy." Keely called out looking down the stairs at him.

"It's fine Baby. Sure sir." Roger smiled uncomfortably as Mr. O'Reilly led him to his den.

"Sit down Roger. And would stop calling me sir. You're the father of my grandchildren. I think it's safe for you to call me Martin." he smiled handing him a cigar.

"No Thank you sir... I mean Martin. Keel made me quit smoking." he smiled looking over at him.

"That daughter of mine, huh? She hates that I light up one of these babies occasionally." he laughed lighting the cigar.

"Yeah well, it's a good thing she made me quit. With the babies coming and everything, it wouldn't be good to be smoking around her, or them." he smiled looking over at him.

"Listen Roger, I know you love my daughter and would never let anything happen to her or those babies, but I'm just curious. When you two came here to announce that you're expecting, why wasn't there a mention of an engagement?" he asked leaning against his desk as Roger sat in a chair in front of him.

"I do love her Mr. O'Reilly. There's no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's the only girl I want to make happy until the day I die. It's just... to be frank sir, um… Martin, my upbringing wasn't exactly normal. My parents were a mess and my step father was an abusive alcoholic and I guess I'm a little scared of turning into him." he confessed looking up at the older man.

"I'm sorry Roger. I didn't know. I know you love my daughter and would never hurt her, but as her father I am obligated to tell you that if you hurt my little girl or my grandchildren, 2 inches taller than me or not, I will see that you are hurt just as bad, if not worse." he said looking down at him.

"Message received sir... I mean Martin. You won't need to hurt me because if Keely and the babies are ever hurt, I'd save you the trouble. She's my life. They all are." he told him before standing up and extending his hand to the older man.

"Good answer." Mr. O'Reilly smiled shaking Roger's hand before putting his hand on his shoulder before stubbing out his cigar and rejoining the women in the living room.


	47. Chapter 47

"I am so glad to be home. I need to lay down in my own bed." she smiled looking over at Roger as they entered their apartment.

"I'll be in in a minute Baby. I just want to check the messages." Roger smiled going over to the answering machine.

"OK Baby. Don't be long. I wanna lay down with you for a little while before everyone knows we're home." she smiled looking over at him.

"No problem Baby. I just want to make sure everyone's OK before we get comfortable." he smiled looking over at her. As he looked down at the answering machine, he heard a noise coming from Alison's bedroom. He walked quietly to the door and listened for a minute. He heard giggling. He quickly realized that Allison wasn't alone. He briskly went to his and Keely's bedroom and shut the door.

"What's the matter Roger? You look freaked out. Is everyone OK?" she asked looking up at him.

"Allie's got a guy in her bedroom." he whispered looking over at her.

"Allie's got a what in her bedroom?" she asked confused.

"She's got a guy in her room. I heard her giggling and I doubt that she was giggling by herself." he said walking over to the bed.

"Oh my God. Who do you think it is?" she asked looking up at him.

"I don't want to know." he said plopping on the bed.

"Oh come on, aren't you curious? I know I am." she laughed looking up at him.

"No. No I'm not. Let's lay down." he said laying on the bed.

"How can you not be just a little bit curious?" she asked kneeling up on her knees.

"Because it's Allie. I've only ever seen her with Benny and... I don't know, it's just creepy to see her with someone. It better not be Danny. He's been after her for a the last few months. I'll kick his ass if he messes with Allie." he said looking back at her.

"Oh quit it. Danny's a very nice guy. She'd be lucky to date him." she smiled slapping his arm.

"How long do you think they've been dating?" he asked looking over at her.

"Roger, we don't even know that it's Danny. Why don't we go out to the living room and wait fot them to come out? We'll catch them red handed." she laughed looking over at him.

"No. I am not busting her and whoever she has in there. What if they come out like... naked or something? That would just be creepy." he said getting up and starting to pace around the bedroom.

"Yeah, since you put it that way, I definitely do not want to see Allie and whoever she's in there doing the nasty with naked." she cringed looking up at him.

"Keel, did you have to say that? Now I'm gonna have images of Allie doing the nasty with some guy." he whined turning around to look down at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry Baby. Do you want to maybe do the nasty with me to get that image out of your head." she proposed getting up to go to him.

"Keel, I'm serious. I'm really traumatized here. I don't think I'll ever be able to do... do that with you ever again." he said looking down at her.

"You can't be serious. Ever?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm sorry Keely. But this is really effecting me." he said looking away from her.

"I'm um... I'm really sorry Baby. I didn't mean to freak you out like that. Is there anything I can do to help you?" she said putting her hands on his shoulders.

"I so got you." he laughed turning around to face her.

"You shit. I can't believe I agreed to mother you children. You are a deceitful piece of..." she started when he interrupted her wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry Keel. I was just teasing you. It was too good an opportunity to pass up." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"No, you think just because you flash that Roger Davis smile and bat your eyelashes that I'm just gonna fall into your arms? You are sadly mistaken mister." she pouted folding her arms across her chest.

"Oh, you know you can't resist my charm" he smiled holding her into his arms.

"You suck, you know that, right?" she smiled breaking down.

"But you love me." he smiled kissing her.

"No, I hate you." she laughed wrapping her arms around him as he picked her up and carried her to the bed.

"Oh my God, did you hear that? I think Roger and Keely are home. You have to get up." Alison said looking over at her partner.

"I don't want to get up. I want them to know." he smiled holding her in his arms.

"I'm not ready for them to know yet." she whispered looking up at him.

"We've been dating for over a while. Don't you think it's time to tell our friends?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, but don't you think it'll be awkward. I mean, it's you and me." she said looking over at him.

"So what. Keely and Roger will be happy for us, don't you think?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, they will. But don't you think it's weird. I mean, it's us." she asked looking up at him.

"I'm going in and telling them. If you want to come with me. You're more than welcome. But I don't want to keep us a secret anymore. I want to tell the world that we're together." he said getting up and putting his pants on.

"You do?" she asked smiling up at him as tears filled her eyes.

"Of course I do. Allie, I love you. I'm in love with you. I have been for a really long time." he smiled looking down at her.

"I um... I love you too." she smiled getting up to kiss him.

"Get dressed Baby. I'm going in to tell Roger and Keely about us and I want you next to me." she smiled wrapping his arms around her.

"You better give them a little while. If I know them they're in there doing the nasty." she laughed looking up at him.

"That's an image I don't need in my head." he said looking down at her.

"Try living with them." she laughed leaning up to kiss him.


	48. Chapter 48

"What are you doing here?" Roger asked as he came out of the bedroom in a pair of sweatpants and no shirt to the man who was sitting on the couch.

"Just hanging out in my girlfriends apartment. Welcome home, by the way." he smiled looking up at him sipping his coffee.

"You... you were the one in Allie's bedroom?" Roger asked in disbelief.

"Yeah,. We've um... we've been dating for a month. We were waiting for the right time to tell everyone." he smiled looking over at him.

"Baby, why don't you put your robe on and come out here a minute? You're not gonna believe who's sitting on the couch." Roger smiled folding his arms across his chest.

"What are you yelling about?" she answered coming out of the bedroom. "Oh my God. Marky, what are you doing here?" she asked looking down at him.

"It seems he's funny. Or at least his girlfriend thinks so." he smiled wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"His girlfriend? You mean...? Oh my God. Marky that's incredible. I'm so happy for you. Aren't you happy for them Roger?" she smiled rushing towards him.

"Really?" Alison asked from her bedroom doorway.

"Of course we are. Allie, we love you and Mark. As long as you two are happy, we're happy." Roger smiled walking over to hug her.

"Thanks you guys. This means a lot to us." she smiled looking up at him.

"How did this come about anyway?" Keely asked looking over at them.

"After you guys announced that you were having the twins. You guys went home and me and Mark were talking and one thing led to another. We went to a movie and something just sort of happened. We didn't want to tell you guys until we knew where it was going. We thought it would be weird. You know, it being me and Mark." she said looking up at Roger.

"Allie, you deserve to be happy. Um... you are happy, right? I mean, if you're not, I'll take Marky out for a little talk or something." Roger offered looking down at her.

"No Roger. You don't have to do that. He makes me very happy." she laughed looking up at him.

"OK, but you let me know if he ever steps out of line." he smiled looking down at her.

"I love her Roger. I'd never step out of line." Mark smiled looking over at Allison.

"You're in love? Oh that is so sweet. Isn't that sweet Roger?" Keely asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, it's really sweet." Roger smlied looking down at Alison who was smiling at Mark.

* * *

2 months later

"Roger, stop messing around. I've been trying to get a good picture of you for months and you keep making funny faces." she yelled as he sat on the stage playing with the bass guitar.

"Why do you want a picture of me anyway? I should be taking pictures of you." he smiled looking down at her.

"Roger, you're the only one I don't have a really nice picture of. Whenever you see me with my camera, you start making funny faces and acting like a goof. And anyway I'm getting as big as a cow?" she asked holding the camera in her hands.

"No you're not. You have our babies growing inside of you. You're the most beautiful woman on the planet." he smiled looking down at her.

"Oh yeah. Really beautiful. My feet are swollen, I can't fit into any of my clothes and I'm starting to waddle everywhere I go." she complained looking up at him.

"You are the most perfect woman on the planet. I wish you were up here performing with me." he smiled looking down at her.

"I can't very well sing up there with your daughters making their presence known, so all I have is my photography. Now stop being a baby and do something nice for the mother of your children. Show your daughters what a rock star looks like." she smiled looking up at him.

"How about this?" he smiled holding the guitar with one hand as he stuck out his thumb, pointer and pinky fingers smiling down at her.

"Nice. Keep doing that Baby." she laughed snapping away as he continued to pose. "Woah, feel this Roger." she exclaimed dropping the camera to her side feeling her belly.

"Are they kicking?" he asked taking the guitar off before jumping off of the stage to go to her. He put his hand on her belly and felt the baby kicking. "Hey my beautiful little prima ballerinas." he said leaning down to her belly as the babies kicked.

"Oh my God, they just went nuts." she laughed looking up at him.

"That's because they're daddy's girls." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

"Great. They're not even born yet and they're daddy's girls already. I'm in for it with you three, aren't I?" she asked looking up at him.

"Technically Baby, if they have your blue eyes, I'm thinking that I'm the one who's in for it." he laughed looking down at her.

"I'm thinking you're right Baby." she smiled looking up at him as he held her in his arms.

* * *

"These are really good Keel. I could never get him to let loose like this for me. He's brooding in all the pictures I have of him." Mark smiled looking through her portfolio as they sat in the loft waiting for Roger.

"Marky, you have no idea how much of a blessing that would be right now." she laughed sitting back on the couch caressing her 4 and a half months pregnant belly.

"Yeah, he is in rare form these days, huh?" Mark smiled seeing the pictures of Roger posing on stage. "He's such a damn doof, huh?" he laughed looking at the picture of Roger on stage with the guitar making a funny face at her.

"You have no idea how hard it is getting serious pictures of him. I mean, the camera loves him, but he is incapable of being serious at all." she laughed flipping to a picture of Roger singing. He was wearing sunglasses playing his guitar.

"I like this one. It's totally Roger." Mark laughed looking down at the picture of Roger with his tongue stuck out and his eyes wide.

"That's the father of my daughters." she laughed pointing at the picture. "He's got a great sense of humor though, huh?" she smiled as Mark continued to flip through the pictures.

"Well, for a long time he had nothing to be happy about. Now that he's got you and the babies, he's pretty content with his life. He deserves it." he said looking over at her.

"Yeah, and he does seem to be over the edge since I got pregnant, huh?" she smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah he does. He's looking forward to when these little girls come into the world." he smiled looking down at her belly.

"So am I." she smiled looking up at him. "You have no idea how wonderful it would be to see my feet again." she smiled looking down at her belly.

"He is gonna make a great father, you know that right Keel?" Mark smiled looking over at her.

"He's already a great father Mark." she smiled caressing her belly.

"I just don't want to be the one to do the family portraits." he laughed looking at a picture of Roger, Mark and Collins with his arms folded like a rapper.

"You and me both." she laughed looking over at him.

* * *

"_You got the right stuff. Baby. Love the way you turn me on. Oh oh oooh. Oh oh oooh. The right stuff." _ Keely sang vaccuming the bedroom carpet while she listened to her walkman dancing. Roger had walked in and was standing in the doorway of the bedroom with his arms folded smiling as he watched the mother of his child clean the apartment dancing to some lame boy band song. He loved catching her singing lame 80's songs. His life had become so domestic. He went to work and rehearsal and came home. Keely went from teaching dance to helping behind the scenes at the dance school. Mimi had taken over her classes. She was happy to still be around the little girls she loved so much. Seeing her vaccuming like a normal housewife made the smile on his face become bigger. Dancing despite the 6 months pregnant belly in front of her. Suddenly Keely spun around and saw Roger standing there. She stopped singing and turned the vaccum off before turning the walkman off. "Um... hey Baby." she laughed nervously obviously embarrassed.

"I love catching you like this. It's so much fun." he laughed looking over at her.

"Um... hey. Um... how long have you been standing there?" she laughed looking over at him.

"Long enough to realize that the mother of my daughters is an 80's teeny bopper." he laughed walking over to her.

"Hey, it's only New Kids on the Block." she laughed looking over at him.

"How come I never knew you were a New Kids on the Block fan?" he asked looking down at her.

"I caught a lot of hell from Oliver when I started listening to him when we were younger, so I keep it under wraps." she laughed looking up at him. "You're not gonna give me shit too, are you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course not. As long as these little ones are strictly rockers, I'll be happy." he laughed kissing her head wrapping his arms around her ever expanding waist.

"There's nothing wrong with New Kids on the Block." she laughed arguing with him.

"Of course there isn't Baby." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

"You suck Davis." she laughed looking up at him. "Oh my God, guess what?" she asked looking up at him obviously excited.

"What?" he asked smiling down at her.

"The girls made the cutest little collage for the babies. You have to see it." she smiled taking his hand and leading him into their bedroom. The nursery wasn't done yet, since Alison had just moved into the loft with Mark within the last few weeks.

"I can't wait Baby." he laughed as she dragged him over to the closet.

"Isn't this the cutest thing? I'm telling you they're so excited about the babies. I think they're more excited than we are." she laughed showing him the collage. It was made by a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds, but it wasn't bad considering. It was on pink poster paper and had ballet stuff and music stuff glued to it.

"They did a great job. Why don't we get it framed and we could hang it up in the nursery." he smiled looking over at her.

"That's a great idea Baby. The girls will love that." she smiled looking up at him.

"Well they worked hard on it. It deserves to be in there with our future prima ballerinas." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Thank you Baby. I know all of those little girls scare you a little bit." she laughed looking over at him.

"It's not so much that they scare me. It's just that I've never been around little girls before. But I guess I'm gonna have to get used to it since I'm gonna have two little girls of my own dancing around this place, huh?" he laughed looking down at her.

"Yes you are. But I have a feeling they're gonna be daddy's little princesses." she laughed wrapping her arms around him. "Oh, my mom called. She wanted to bring some of my old ballet stuff for the babies. She thought it would be cool to have. You know, to put it around the nursery or something." she smiled looking up at him.

"That sounds great Baby. It'll give them a sense of where they came from." he smiled holding her in his arms.

"Roger, when are you gonna call your parents?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm not." he said losening his hold on her.

"Roger." she said looking up into his green eyes.

"Why? I left a long time ago and I never planned on going back. I don't want to expose you and my daughters to them." he said letting her go before starting to leave the room.

"But you're gonna be a father. Shouldn't they at least know that their gonna be grandparents?" she asked following him.

"They're not gonna be grandparents Keel. The girls aren't gonna miss them. Trust me on that." he told her going into the kitchen for a can of soda.

"But Roger, they're their family." she said going over to him.

"No. No their not Keel. They don't deserve to be called their family. Their family consists of us, Mimi and Oliver, Mark and Allie, Collins, Maureen and Joanne, the guys in the band and your parents. Trust me. My parents are toxic. I don't want you guys around them." he said looking over at her beginning to get worked up.

"I'm sure we can handle them Roger. The babies should at least know where their father came from." she pushed looking up at him.

"Do you wanna know where their father came from? I'll tell you. My father left us when me and Randy were real young. My mom found another loser as soon as the divorce papers were signed. My new step father hated us. He used to beat me and Randy all the time. And she made excuses for the bastard too. Rough week at work, me and Randy making too much noise. Shit like that. When my grandmother found out what was going on, she decided that we had to get out of there. We moved in with her. But it was too late. Randy started drinking and doing drugs with his friends. He was 12 when that shit started. After Randy died, the bastard pretended to care and blamed me for being the one who lived. Growing up, he used to tell us what losers we were who would never amount to anything. After Randy died, I wanted to make it big for both of us, so I could go back there and rub it in his face. But I grew out of that thinking. I figured I was better off never turning back. I don't want my daughters to ever know that kind of pain. They don't deserve to know you and our daughters." he yelled leaning against the wall in the kitchen.

"I'm... I'm sorry Roger. I didn't know." she said going to him.

"No, I'm sorry Keely. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I just don't want them around those people." he said setting the soda can down on the counter and pulling her to him.

"You know he was wrong, right?" she asked with her face buried in his chest.

"Huh?" he asked looking down at her.

"About you never amounting to anything. He was wrong. You're a wonderful friend, an amazing musician, you're gonna make an incredible father and you're the most loving man a woman could ever ask for." she said looking up at him with tears rimming her beautiful blue eyes.

"I never wanted to end up like him. I swore I would never end up like him." he told her quietly looking down at her.

"And you're not like him. You would never hurt me or our daughters. That much I am absolutely sure about." she smiled reaching up to caress his face.

"I'm always afraid that I'm gonna, you know? Because it was how I was raised." he asked looking down at her.

"You're nothing like him Roger. You could never become him. You're the most gentle, loving man on the planet. I promise you will never be like him." she told him wrapping her arms around him.

"How can you be so sure of that Keel? I'm not even sure of that." he asked looking down at her.

"Because I love you and I like to think I know the man I love pretty damn well." she smiled looking up into his green eyes as he held her in his arms.

"I'd die if I ever hurt you or our daughters Keel." he told her kissing her head.

"I know Roger and that's why you will never turn out like him." she smiled looking up at him.

* * *

"Keel, do you ever think about us getting married?" Roger asked as he and Keely got ready for bed.

"No. Why?" she lied taking her earrings out of her ears not looking at him.

"I don't know, just something I've been thinking about lately. You'd tell me if you wanted to get married, wouldn't you?" he asked taking his jeans off.

"Roger, let me tell you something. I love my life. I'm happy with the way things are now. We don't need to get married just because my mom and Mimi think we should. I know you love me and the babies." she said turning around to face him. Her 6 months pregnant belly in front of her.

"I do love you Keely. You girls are my family. You're my life." he said walking over to her.

"We know Roger." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"But you do want to get married, don't you?" he asked looking down at her.

"Roger, you're scared. I understand that. If you're not ready, I don't want you to feel that we have to get married to make me happy." she said looking up at him.

"But I would Keely. For you I would." he whispered lifting his hand up to caress her face.

"I would never ask you to do that Roger. I'm in love with you and I'm willing to wait as long as I have to. If you're never ready, than that's fine too. I'm not going anywhere." she said looking up into his green eyes.

"I love you Keel." he smiled caressing her face with his thumb.

"I love you too Roger." she smiled holding him close to her.

* * *

"Why are we here exactly?" Collins asked looking over at Roger who was staring in the window at a jewelry store.

"I don't know. I mean, I want to get Keely something special for her birthday, but I don't know what." he said looking over at him.

"Rings? You're looking at rings? Roger is there something you're not telling me?" he asked smiling over at him.

"She wants to get married, I know she does. But she'll never tell me she does." he said looking up at him.

"You're gonna ask her to marry you?" he asked surprised.

"I want to. God knows it's all I think about lately. But I don't want to marry her and turn into my step father." he said looking back down at the rings. By the reflection in the window Collins could tell he had found one that he liked.

"Roger, You're not like that useless bastard. You would never hurt Keel and your girls." he said looking over at him.

"I know. I'm just scared." he told him quietly before leaning against the window ledge.

"Scared of what?" he asked looking over at him confused.

"I don't know." he whispered looking down at the rings.

"You're scared that you're gonna get too comfortable with Keel and start taking her for granted and in turn, turning into him." he asked putting his hand on his shoulder.

"You can't tell me that that shit doesn't stay with you." he said turning to look over at him.

"Yeah, it does, but Roger you're the man to break the cycle. You worship those girls. You would never do anything to hurt them." he smiled looking down at him.

"Yeah well, she's the woman I love and she's carrying my babies. My daughters. I'm scared to death of hurting her and my girls. If I ever hurt them... I don't know what I would do." he said looking down at the rings again.

"And that's why you should marry her." he smiled looking down at him.

"You really think so?" he asked unsure.

"Go for it Roger. I see how much you want to buy it." he smiled looking down at him.

"I'm gonna. Now all I gotta do is get her to say yes." he smiled still eyeing the ring he liked.

"Don't worry Roger, she will. That girl is more in love with you than any woman has ever loved any man in the history of love." he laughed as Roger went into the jewelry store to buy the ring.


	49. Chapter 49

"He's just scared Mimi. I understand that. You don't know what he went through with his parents. I don't have to be married to him for him to be my family." Keely said sitting in hers and Roger's apartment.

"Do you mean to tell me that if Roger never asks you to marry him, you'll be OK with it?" Mimi asked looking over at her skeptical.

"Yeah." Keely answered unsure before getting up to fold the clothes that she and Mimi had just washed.

"You're a liar Keel and you know it." Mimi told her sitting up on the couch.

"Mimi, if he's not ready, he's not ready. What am I gonna do? Tell him, marry me or I'm leaving you? I could never leave him. You know that. I love him." she asked looking back at her.

"No, but I'm sure if he knew how much you want to marry him, he'll do it." she said looking over at her.

"At what cost Mimi? I don't want to lose him. I love him and if that means I have to be his girlfriend for the rest of our lives, so be it." she said putting the clothes back in the basket before struggling to get up from the couch to walk around the apartment.

"You're not gonna lose him Keely. He loves you and you're the mother of his daughters. He would walk to the ends of the earth if you asked him to." she said looking over at her.

"OK, what if I did tell him that I wanted to get married and he did it, even though he wasn't ready, he would wind up resenting me for making him do something he wasn't ready to do." she asked looking over at her.

"Honey, he could never resent you. He's in love with you. You and those little angels in there." Mimi told her getting up to go to the kitchen.

"Yeah well, I'm not willing to chance it. If I have to wait forever, I will. That's how much I love him Mimi." she said looking over at her.

"But you and Roger don't have forever." she said quietly as she approached her.

"Yeah, I know." she whispered as Mimi wrapped her arms around her to comfort her.

"Wow, was that the little ones?" Mimi asked jumping back after feeling a kick to her side.

"Yeah, one of them anyway. They usually move around a lot when Roger's here. They love hearing his voice." she laughed looking over at her.

"Don't we all?" she laughed putting her hand on Keely's belly to feel the babies kick.

"Yeah, he's got a way with women, doesn't he?" she laughed as the babies kicked again.

"He's gonna be the best dad these little girls could ask for, you know that, right?" Mimi asked looking over at Keely.

"Yeah Mimi. I know." she smiled looking down at her belly.

* * *

"We have to throw her a monutmental party of epic proportions." Mimi smiled looking over at Oliver as they sat in the loft with everyone else.

"OK, but remember, she's pregnant with twins. She probably can't take a surprise party." Maureen laughed looking up at her.

"I got it. We'll make it a birthday party slash baby shower. Yeah, that could work. It'll be awesome. We can make the shower co-ed to mix it up a bit." she smiled looking down at them.

"OK, but I wouldn't plan on anyone beating Roger out for best birthday present." Collins smirked looking up at her.

"What do you know?" Maureen asked leaning over towards him on the couch.

"Let's just say that is not the only party I see in our near future." he smiled looking over at them.

"He's gonna ask her to marry him, isn't he?" Mimi asked rushing over to him. "Oh my God." she smiled putting her hands over her mouth.

"I didn't say that Babygirl." he laughed looking over at her.

"He is. I knew he couldn't wait forever. Good for him. It's about time he took the plunge." Joanne smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah. I mean, I don't know why he hasn't already. It's not like there's anyone else out there who is more perfect for him then Keely." Oliver smiled looking over at them.

"It's complicated Baby. But there's no one else he wants to spend the rest of his life with more than Keely. That much I know for a fact." Mimi smiled looking up at him.

* * *

"Keel, um... I want to give you your birthday present now. Before the party." Roger said coming out of the bedroom as Keely stood in the kitchen drinking a glass of water.

"I don't mind waiting." she smiled leaning on the counter.

"Yeah well, I can't." he smiled taking the ring box out of his jeans pocket.

"Roger?" she asked looking up at him in shock.

"Marry me Keely. Make us a family." he smiled walking over to her.

"Roger, I thought we talked about this. You don't have to. We don't have to be married for us to be a family." she said looking up at him putting her water glass down on the counter.

"Yes I do Keel. I love you and it's all I think about." he smiled looking down at her.

"Really?" she asked breathlessly with tears in her eyes looking up at him.

"Yeah Keel, really. Being your husband is the reason I was put on this earth. I see that now." he smiled reaching his hand to hold hers.

"But I thought you were scared of turning into your fathers?" she asked looking up at him.

"Not anymore. I realized that as long as I love you that I could never hurt you the way they hurt me and my brother. I would die if I ever did that to the people I love." he smiled looking into her blue eyes.

"Well I could have told you that. I've known since the moment you asked me out." she smiled looking up at him.

"I guess I'm a little slow." he smiled lifting his hand to her face.

"This is beautiful Roger." she asked looking down at the ring.

"Not as beautiful as you." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"So what do we do?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Marry me. Please." he whispered holding her close to him.

"Only if you're sure." she whispered looking up at him.

"You're having my daughters Keel. I'm more in love with you than I ever thought possible. I've never been more sure than I am right now." he smiled leaning down to kiss her. "Marry me. Spend the rest of your life with me." he smiled looking down at her.

"Um... OK." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah?" he asked still holding the ring out to her.

"Yeah, now put that on me before I go up another size." she laughed as he took the ring out of the box and put it on her ring finger.

"Perfect fit." he smiled looking down at her hand.

"Like us." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"Yeah Baby. Like us." he smiled holding her in his arms.

* * *

"So let's see what Roger got you for your birthday." Mimi smiled as they stood in the loft.

"What do you think? Is it my color?" she laughed holding her left hand out to her.

"This is gorgeous sweetie. And Roger picked this out all by himself?" she asked looking down at the ring in disbelief.

"For the most part. I mean, he brought Collins with him, but he said that when he saw this ring, he wanted to see it on me." she smiled looking at Roger who was drinking beer with Oliver and Collins.

"You're getting married? Congratulations." Maureen smiled leaning over to hug Keely.

"Yeah, I guess Roger figured he knocked me up with twins, so he might as well go all in." Keely laughed looking over at Roger.

"All in is right. Geez, Roger Davis is gonna be a husband and a father. I never thought I'd see that day when that happened." Joanne smiled looking over at them.

"Yeah well, I guess Keely brings out the best in me." Roger smiled rushing over to them wrapping his arms around Keely's belly.

"When's the wedding Davis? Hopefully before Keel pops." Oliver laughed looking over at them.

"It'll be OK if we wait until the babies are born. Um... if you want." Keely smiled looking up at Roger.

"No way. I wanna be your husband before I'm their father." he smiled leaning down to caress Keely's belly.

"Are you sure Baby? We can wait until the babies are born, you know? There's not rush." Keely said looking up at him.

"Yeah there is Keel. I wanna be your husband." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"OK Baby. It you insist." she smiled wrapping her arms around him.

* * *

"I am not wearing that Maureen." Keely protested as Maureen showed her a dress in magazine.

"What's wrong with this dress?" she asked looking down at it.

"Can you say bibity bobity boo? I'll look like the fairy godmother from Cinderella." she laughed looking down at it.

"But you have to have a beautiful dress." she smiled looking over at her.

"Maureen, we're getting married in city hall not St. Patrick's Cathedral. A simple off white dress is fine." she smiled looking over at her.

"Why not white?" Mimi asked looking over at her.

"Um... Mimi, I'm 7 months pregnant with twin girls. I don't think white is appropriate." she said looking over at her.

"Why not? You've never been married before. Have you?" she said looking over at her.

"No Mimi, I've never been married before. But it'll just feel weird. I want to, but it would be a lot more believable if I didn't have this beach ball in front of me." she laughed caressing her belly.

"Hey, that's my nieces you're talking about." Mimi laughed leaning down to caress her belly. "Don't worry my little angels. We'll get mommy and daddy married. And I promise I won't let Auntie Maureen pick out what mommy wears." she laughed talking to her belly.

"I do not have bad taste in clothes." Maureen whined looking over at her.

"Three words Maureen. Rubber Cat Suit." she laughed looking over at her.

"Um... rubber cat suit?" Keely laughed looking over at them.

"Long story sweetie. Marky has the pictures. Maybe he'll show you some time." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Oh, I'd love to see those pictures." she laughed looking over at Maureen who was now pouting.

"They're not very interesting." Maureen groaned folding her arms across her chest.

"Oh, don't underestimate yourself Maureen. I saw them. They're very interesting." Oh my god, do you remember us trying to break back into the building that New Years Eve when Benny locked us out?" she laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Do you remember Angel dressed up as Pussy Galore and Collins was dressed as James Bond? That was so much fun." she smiled looking over at her thinking about Angel.

"Roger told me about Angel. He said when you and Angel came into the group it changed him." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, they changed all of us." Maureen smiled looking over at Mimi.

"I was thinking that I wanna name one of the babies Angel and the other Randy after Roger's brother, but I don't know how to bring the subject up to Roger. I don't know how he'll react if I bring him up. He's still a bit touchy when it comes to them, you know?" she said looking over at her.

"I think he would love that sweetie. Angel meant a lot to all of us. Having another Angel in the family would be really great. And I'm sure Roger would love it if you named the other baby after his brother. They are the future of this family after all." Mimi smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, and then when me and Roger are gone you guys are still gonna have them to remind of how much Roger and I loved each other and them." Keely smiled caressing her belly fighting tears.

"It's hanging over all of our heads. But Honey, when we lose you, Collins, Roger, Oliver, and Mimi we're still gonna have these little angels to carry on. But we're here now and there's nothing that can change that. These moments are gonna stay with us forever. We have to make them last." Maureen smiled bravelly looking over at her.

"You're right. We have to live for today. No day but today. Right Mimi?" she smiled looking over at Mimi.

"That's right chica. No day but today." she smiled as the women continued looking through bridal magazines.

* * *

"Collins man. Can I ask you something?" Roger asked looking up at Collins as they walked to the Life Cafe.

"Sure, what's up man?" he asked looking over at him.

"Um... me and Keel haven't come up with a name for the babies yet and I was thinking maybe... if it's OK with you... we could name one of them after Angel? But if it's not OK, I understand." he stuttered looking over at him.

"You want to name one of your angels after my Angel? Roger, I would be honored." he smiled looking over at him.

"Thanks man. It means a lot to me to name one of them after him. I mean, he meant a lot to me and I wanted my little girl named after her." he told him shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I understand man. He meant a lot to all of us. He changed us." he smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah he did. Had it not been for him and Mimi I wouldn't be getting married and having kids right now. I'd still be stuck in the loft trying to write that damn song." he laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, now you're getting hitched, having kids and still trying to write a damn song." he laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah well I'm trying to write a song for my daughters. I love them man." he smiled looking up at him.

"I know man. They deserves to have an original Roger Davis song written for them." he smiled looking down at him.

"Yeah they do." he smiled looking up at him as they approached the Life Cafe to meet up with Mark.

* * *

"Did you girls find a dress today?" Roger asked sitting on the couch taking his boots off.

"Um... not yet. You know how impossible Maureen could be. I swear, I thought I had to worry about my mom and Mimi. Maureen is 10 times worse than the two of them put together. Roger... Um… I was thinking of names for the babies today and I have one that I really like." she said looking over at him from the kitchen where she was making herself a decaffinated tea.

"Oh yeah? I can't wait to see what you came up with. Just to let you know, my daughters are not being named Pookie and Honeybear." he laughed getting up to go to her.

"Of course not Baby. Um... I was thinking of naming one of the babies after Angel. I mean, Angel made a big impact on this family." she said looking up at him.

"Um... I was thinking the same thing Baby. about Angel anyway. I talked to Collins and asked if it would be OK and he said that he's be really happy if we named one of the girls after Angel. Um... how would you feel about naming the other one Randi with an I? After my brother." he smiled looking over at her.

"I was thinking the same thing Baby." she smiled walking over to him.

"Thanks Keel." he smiled looking down at her.

"Roger, tell me about Randy." she asked looking up at him.

"What do you want to know?" he asked looking down at her.

"What was he like?" she asked looking up at him as he sat on the counter in front of her.

"He was super cool. He was born 5 and a half minutes ahead of me and he was really protective of me when we were growing up. He took the brunt of our step dad's abuse. Until he started playing basket ball and hanging out with the cool crowd. After school he had his basketball. I was stuck at home to deal with my step dad's drinking, so I started playing guitar. Randy used to talk about getting a basketball scholarship to some really good school and getting out. He's the one who said I had something and should come to the city to pursue a career. He used to say that we were gonna be the deadly Davis brothers. Sweeping girls off their feet everywhere we went. Him being an NBA player and me being a rock star. But what we really wanted to do was get away from everything. Randy tried talking my mom into leaving the bastard a million times, but she kept telling him how much she loved the bastard and couldn't leave him. When we moved in with our grandmother, that's when Randy started smoking weed. When he died everything got worse. Whenever I would see the bastard, he blamed me for living. I was the one who wouldn't amount to anything." he said looking down.

"Baby, you're a really talented musician. Whether you get a record deal or not, you can never not amount to anything. You know that, don't you?" she asked standing between his legs as they dangled from the counter.

"Thanks Keel." he smiled reaching up to caress her face.

"I'm serious Roger. You're a great musician, you're gonna make an amazing husband and you're gonna make a great father. These girls are extremely lucky to have you as their father." she smiled holding on to his legs.

"I'm gonna try my best." he said looking down into her blue eyes.

"I know you will Baby." she smiled as he brought her into his arms.

* * *

"Maureen, if you don't quit showing me those big, puffy dresses, so help me God, I'll elope and wear jeans and Roger's Pink Floyd tshirt." Keely yelled pointing at Maureen who was holding a bridal magazine in her hands.

"You wouldn't." she sneered looking over at her.

"Try me." she told her stone faced.

"Roger would never let you. I'll make sure of it." she countered standing up to her with her hands on her hips.

"He doesn't have to let me Maureen. All I have to do is bat my eyelashes at him and pout my lips and he's putty in my hands. You're no match for me when it comes to Roger." she smiled putting her hands on her hips.

"OK, OK. Fine." she pouted knowing she was defeated. "I won't keep showing you these magazines. But you have to pick out a dress eventually. You're getting married next Friday." she said looking over at her.

"I know. But do you have any idea how hard it is to find a white dress for a woman my size? Everything makes me look like a marshmellow puff." she said looking over at her.

"Listen to you. A woman your size. You're pregnant with twins Keel. Don't worry about it. It's your wedding day." she smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, and while Roger looks incredible in his suit, I'm gonna look like the Goodyear blimp." she said sitting next to her on the couch.

"You are not gonna look like the Goodyear blimp. You're gonna look beautiful." she smiled putting her arm around her.

"I just don't want to look like a whale." she said looking over at her.

"How about we call Mimi and Joanne and go out to some more stores? We'll find the dress for you." she smiled looking over at her.

"OK. Thanks Maureen." she smiled looking over at her.


	50. Chapter 50

"What's the matter Oliver? You look like you lost your best friend." Roger asked as Oliver sat at the bar. He was nursing a beer and he wasn't his usual fun loving self.

"Roger, lemme ask you something. Is there something wrong with me?" he asked looking up at him.

"Now that's a loaded question." Roger laughed looking down at him.

"I'm serious. You would tell me if there was, right?" he asked looking up at him.

"No Oliver, there's nothing wrong with you. Where the hell is this coming from anyway?" Roger asked confused.

"It's Mimi. I'm losing her." he said looking up at him.

"You are not losing her man. Come on, tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help." He asked leaning on the bar.

"We've been dating a long time and she refuses to get serious." he said looking up at him.

"What do you mean? You guys practically live together." he asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, but she refuses to tell me that she loves me. She just keeps telling me that she's not ready." he told him drinking his beer.

"I don't believe that. She's the one who got me to believe in love again." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah well, how could she love me when she's still in love with you." he said chugging his beer down.

"She is not still in love with me." Roger argued looking down at him.

"Yeah she is Roger. Think about it." he said looking up at him.

"Think about what? She broke up with me. Plus, she's been throwing me into Keely's arms since the day Tommy told me about her. If she was still in love with me, don't you think she wouldn't have done all those things." he said looking down at him.

"Roger, she's been wanting you to be happy this whole time. She knew you never would be happy with her, so she let you go to find Keely. Now look at you. You're the happiest man on the planet and Mimi's still holding me at a distance." he said picking up his beer again.

"Damn. I'm sorry man. I... uh... I didn't know." he said looking down at him.

"Yeah well, Keely does. She's known this whole time." he said looking over at him.

"She has?" he asked looking down at him.

"Yeah, man. She figured it out the morning after you and she slept together." he told him before downing the rest of his beer.

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" he asked looking over at him.

"You're wondering why your fiance wouldn't tell you that your ex girlfriend is still hung up on you? Roger, are you serious?" he asked looking up at him.

"I'm sorry man, really. I mean, I do still love Mimi, but as a friend. She's like a sister to me now." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah, I know. It's nothing you did. It's just her feelings. I just wish she could love me the way I love her." he told him sliding the empty beer bottle to the front of the bar indicating that he wanted another one.

"She will Oliver. You just gotta have faith." he smiled looking down at him before getting him another beer.

* * *

"Keel, how come you never told me that Mimi is still in love with me?" he asked looking down at Keely as she fixed her hair.

"How did you find out about that?" she asked stopping what she was doing.

"Oliver told me. Do you believe she hasn't told him that she loves him yet?" he asked looking over at him.

"Are you serious? They've been dating almost as long as we have and she hasn't told him that she loves him yet? What the hell is wrong with her?" she asked beginning to pace around the bedroom.

"I don't know, but we have to do something." he said looking over at her.

"I agree. I'll talk to her when we get to the loft." she said going back over to the dresser to finish her hair.

"What are you gonna say to her?" he asked looking over at her.

"Don't you worry about that. I'll say plenty." she told him before turning around to face him.

"That's my girl." he laughed looking down at her.

"No, Mimi's positive too Roger. Why is it that we get to have happiness and she can't? It's not fair to either of them." she asked looking up at him.

"I know Baby. I just don't understand her." he said looking over at her.

"Me neither, but trust me. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." she said getting ready to go to the loft.

* * *

"There they are. The future Mr and Mrs Roger Davis." Collins called out as Roger and Keely entered the loft.

"And the future Angel Mffph and Randi Mffph Davis." Roger said running his hand over his mouth.

"What the hell was that?" Keely asked laughing at him.

"My lame attempt to throw off the fact that the girls don't have middle names yet." he laughed leaning down to kiss her head.

"They'll have middle names. We just have to think of one." she laughed looking up at him.

"Is everything ready for the wedding? Does your dress fit? Do you know how you're doing your hair and make up? Do you have your shoes?" Mimi asked coming out from behind the metal counter bombarding Keely with questions.

"Yeah Mimi. I have everything I need. Listen, I need to talk to you in private please?" Keely asked looking over at her.

"Um… yeah sure. We can go down to my place." she said looking over at Oliver before leaving the loft with Keely..

"Where are they going?" Mark asked looking up at Roger.

"To talk. My wife to be has some ass kicking to do." he smiled looking over at Oliver before going to the refrigerator for a beer.

"Mimi, are you insane?" Keely asked as they entered the apartment.

"In order for me to answer that question honestly chica, it would help if I knew what you were talking about." she said smiling over at her.

"Are you in love with Oliver?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"What?" she asked being caught off guard.

"Are you in love with Oliver?" she repeated looking over at her.

"Why are you asking me that?" she asked avoiding the question.

"Just answer the damn question Mimi. Are you in love with Oliver?" she asked yelling at her.

"I don't know." she answered sitting down on the couch.

"What do you mean you don't know? How could you not know. You've been dating him for almost a year. How could you not know?" she asked sitting next to her.

"Yes OK. I love him." she yelled getting up from the couch.

"So why haven't you told him yet?" she asked looking over at her.

"I don't know." Mimi told her looking down.

"Mimi, you better think about what you want your life to be. You're 21 years old and you're HIV positive. Why is it that me and Roger deserve happiness, but you don't?" she asked looking up at her.

"I'm afraid Keel." she confessed.

"Afraid of what sweetie?" she asked looking up at her.

"Afraid to love him. I don't want to fall in love with him and then have him watch me die." she said looking down at her with tears in her eyes.

"Is it because you're still in love with Roger?" she asked turning to her.

"No. Sweetie, I'm over Roger. Seriously. It's just... I don't know if I could bear it if Oliver lost me the same way Collins lost Angel." she said sitting next to her again.

"Sweetie, you of all people should know that no one's guaranteed forever. It's what you do with the time you have is what counts." she said looking over at her.

"I know. I've been wanting to tell him, but I'm afraid of getting too attatched to him." she cried looking over at her.

"It looks like you're already attached." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, I am. What am I gonna do?" she asked looking over at her.

"I'm gonna give you the same advice a very smart woman told me one time when I was in the same predicament. No day but today chica." she smiled putting her hand on her shoulder.

"Sounds like you have a guardian angel." she laughed wiping her eyes.

"I do. She gave me my husband to be and these little ones here." she smiled caressing her 8 months pregnant belly.

"Looks like the student has become the teacher, huh?" she smiled looking over at her.

"Well I had a good role model." she smiled hugging her before the women left the apartment to go back up to the loft.

* * *

"Maureen, I'm not staying with you and Joanne tonight." Keely argued as they sat on the couch at the loft.

"Honey, you can't stay at your place with Roger. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding." she said looking over at her.

"Sweetie, that's just a silly superstition. I don't believe in those things." she smiled looking up at Roger who had his arm around her.

"You just don't want to be without Roger for one night." Joanne teased looking over at her.

"No, I just don't see a reason for me to sleep away from home the night before my wedding. I mean, Roger and I have been living together for a while and we're having 2 daughters together. It's not like I'm a virgin and we're getting married in a church or anything." she laughed looking up at her.

"But aren't you afraid of bad luck?" Maureen asked looking over at her.

"I don't believe in bad luck." she smiled as Roger leaned down to kiss her head.


	51. Chapter 51

"Keely Baby, get up. We're getting married today." Roger sang sitting over Keely who was sleeping peacefully in their bed. "Keely, you gotta get up Baby." he smiled gently kissing her head.

"Mmmm, good morning Baby." she smiled looking up at him.

"Good morning sleepyhead. You gotta get up. We're getting married today." he smiled looking down at her.

"Let's just hope I can still fit into my dress." she smiled tilting her head towards him.

"You will Baby. Listen, Mimi already called. She said that her, Allison, Maureen and Joanne want to take you out for a girls breakfast and Mark, Oliver and Collins are planning on kidnapping me for a little while too so we have to get up and get dressed." he smiled looking down at her.

"Ugh, do I have to? I was hoping to spend some more time in bed with you this morning before we had to start the chaos." she said sitting up slowly.

"I'm afraid so Baby. And I think Mark and Collins want me to get ready at the loft. Mimi mentioned something about you guys meeting us at the court house." he laughed looking over at her.

"Oh great. You know, I am gonna be so glad when this wedding is over and we have our marriage to ourselves." she smiled looking up at him.

"Me too Baby. Then all we have to do is finish setting up for when our little ones arrive." he smiled reaching over to caress her belly.

"We have plenty of time Baby." she smiled leaning over to kiss him.

"Before we know it, they'll be here and they'll need somewhere to sleep and then they'll need somewhere to crawl around..." he started as she kissed him again.

"Roger honey, you worry too much. They'll have all of those things. And more with a daddy like you." she smiled looking over at him.

"I just want to finish up the nursery. When that's done, I'll be able to relax." he smiled looking down at her.

"Yeah right. I'm glad someone can relax around here. I have these little ones dancing on my bladder 24/7." she laughed looking up at him before struggling to get out of bed.

"I'm sorry Baby." he said looking up at her.

"Don't be. I'm not." she smiled back at him before going to the bathroom.

* * *

"OK, I'll do your hair and Joanne can do your make up." Maureen smiled looking over at Keely as they ate breakfast at the Life Cafe.

"Just don't make her hair too big, OK Maureen? I don't want her to have to bend down to get into the courthouse." Mrs. O'Reilly laughed drinking her orange juice.

"I promise. I'll be good." she smiled drinking her coffee.

"Mom, it'll be OK. Maureen knows what she's doing." Keely said looking over at her mother.

"I'm just making sure sweetie. You remember how you used to wear your hair when you were a teenager. Good heavens, I swear you are solely responsible for the hole in the ozone layer." she laughed looking over at her daughter.

"Gee thanks mom. So, what do you think the boys are doing?" Keely smiled looking over at them.

"Probably freaking Roger out. You know how guys could be." Mimi laughed looking over at her.

"That's why I'm glad I'm having girls. The last thing I need is Oliver and Collins corrupting my sons." Keely laughed looking over at her.

"If you think Collins is not gonna try to corrupt your little girls, you got another thing coming. He could corrupt a bowl of cereal." Maureen laughed drinking her coffee.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But he is the sweetest most gentle man. I think he's gonna be the one wrapped around the girl's fingers more than anyone. Except their father of course." Keely laughed looking over at her.

"I have a feeling you're right sweetie." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking over at her.

* * *

"So, are you nervous? You look nervous." Oliver asked Roger tauntingly.

"Why would I be nervous? I'm marrying the woman I love today and she's carrying my daughters. Actually I'm calmer than I've ever been in my life." he smiled looking over at him as he lounged on the couch. His head was leaning on the back of the couch and his hands were folded as they rested on his stomach.

"Ha." Mr. O'Reilly laughed looking over at Oliver.

"You're kidding. Roger Davis is getting married today and he's cool as a cucumber?" Collins asked in disbelief.

"Yep. I have never been so calm in my life." he smiled closing his eyes.

"You're pretty content with your life, aren't you?" Mark smiled packing and re packing his camera bag.

"Yeah Mark. I am. I mean, last year, Mimi had just broken up with me and I didn't know what I was gonna do with the rest of my life. Now, I'm getting married and next month I'm gonna be a father to 2 little girls." he smiled looking up at him.

"Are you scared of being a dad?" Oliver asked looking over at him.

"Nope. I can't wait to meet them. With their moms big blue eyes and my chin. They're gonna be the most beautiful girls in the world. Behind their mama of course." he smiled looking over at Collins who was smiling.

"Yeah, with the weirdest family." he laughed looking over at him.

"Nah, I think they're pretty lucky in that respect." Mr. O'Reilly smiled looking over at his future son in law.

* * *

"Oooh." Keely cried out as Mimi zippered her dress.

"What's the matter?" she asked looking over at her.

"Um… nothing. Probably those Braxton Hicks contractions the doctor has been warning me about. I'm fine." she smiled looking over at her.

"Are you sure?" she asked as Mrs. O'Reilly, Maureen and Joanne came into the room.

"Mimi, you worry too much. I'm fine. I just need to walk around a little bit. The doctor said it would help." she smiled looking over at her as she began walking around hers and Roger's bedroom.

"What happened? Are you in labor? You can't be in labor, you're getting married today." Mrs. O'Reilly rambled looking over at her.

"I'm not in labor mom. I'm just having those Braxton Hicks things. I'm not due for another month and a half." she said pacing around. "Oh my God." she called out doubling over in pain.

"Keely, what is it?" Alison asked rushing over to her.

"I think my water just broke." she said looking down at her feet where water had accumulated.

"I'm calling Roger." Joanne said rushing to the nightstand.

"Tell him to hurry." Mimi told her as she and Alison walked Keely over to the bed. "Come on chica. You need to sit down and take it easy." she smiled sitting next to her on the bed.

"I'm not due yet. It's not time." Keely told her clearly scared.

"Twins sometimes come early. It's perfectly normal sweetie." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking down at her trying to keep her calm.

"Mom, this can't be happening. I'm supposed to be becoming Roger's wife today, not a mother." she cried breathing in deeply before exhaling slowly

"Yeah well, it looks like you're gonna become a mother before you become a wife." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking over at her.

"No, I have to get married before I have them. I don't care what you need to do. I need to get married today." she said looking up at her.

"Roger said he would be here in a few minutes. He said to tell you to stay calm and that he loves you." Joanne smiled looking over at her.

"Someone better get someone to marry us right now because I really need to be a wife before I'm a mother." Keely insisted looking up at Joanne.

"I'm on it sweetie." Joanne smiled going into the living room for her purse.

"What is she doing?" Alison asked looking up at Maureen.

"You're asking me? There are some things about Joanne I don't dare ask." Maureen smiled sitting down next to Keely. "Are you OK sweetie?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, it doesn't hurt yet, but I'm sure it will soon. It just feels weird." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Where is she?" Roger asked entering the apartment looking over at Joanne as the other guys came in after him.

"She's in the bedroom. Roger, calm down she's fine." she said chasing after him as he dashed into the bedroom.

"Keel, are you OK?" he asked rushing to Keely's side.

"Oh wow. I knew you would look incredible in your suit, but... wow. I'm sorry I can't walk down the aisle to you." she smiled breathlessly looking up at him.

"Don't worry about it Baby. Are you OK?" he asked caressing her face sitting next to her.

"Yeah, I'm OK for now. Um.. my water... my water broke." she said looking over at him.

"It's OK Baby. I'm gonna get you to the hospital and you and the babies are gonna be fine." he reassured her before leaning over to kiss her head.

"I wanna get married. Right now Roger." she said looking over at him.

"Baby, I don't think that's such a good idea. Your water broke and we need to get you to the hospital right now." he said caressing her shoulder.

"I said I wanna get married now Roger. Why isn't anyone listening to me? I wanna be your wife before I'm their mother." she insisted looking into his green eyes.

"Baby, we can get married just as soon as you get out of the hospital. I promise. I'm not changing my mind. I'm all in, remember?" he smiled looking down at her.

"No Roger. You don't understand. I'm not having these babies unless I'm legally Mrs. Roger Davis, so you better find someone to marry us right now or they are not being born. I swear to God Roger, play with me on this one." she yelled looking up at him.

"Calm down Babygirl." Collins said rushing to her side.

"I'm serious Collins. You better get someone to marry us today or your nieces are waiting until you do." she said looking over at him.

"OK Babygirl. We'll get you and this boy married before these little ladies come into the world." he promised kissing her head before getting up and going to the living room. "Any luck?" he asked looking over at Joanne.

"Maybe." she said dialing the phone again. "Hi daddy." she said smiling up at him.

"She always was stubborn as a mule. If she says she is not having these babies until she's married, so help her, she'll do it." Mrs. O'Reilly smiled looking over at Collins.

"Why do I believe that?" he laughed looking over at Joanne who was talking to her father.

* * *

"He's gonna meet us at the hospital, right?" Roger asked looking over at Joanne.

"Yeah, he promised he'd be there when we got there. You two will be married before you deliver. I promise." she confirmed smiling up at him.

"We better be or I meant what I said Roger. They are not being born until I'm Mrs Roger Davis. I'm their mother, I can do that." she insisted looking up at him.

"You will be Baby." he told her trying not to laugh. Although it was an outlandish idea, he had to laugh at her insistence.

"Don't laugh at me Roger. I'm serious." Keely insisted as they headed towards the hospital. Collins was driving Joanne's Ford Explorer with everyone packed in.

"Don't worry sweetie. He'll be there. He promised he would." Joanne smiled looking over at her.

"Oh man, here comes a contraction." Keely called out clutching Roger's hand breathing in deeply.

"Breathe Baby, you're doing great." Roger told her encouragingly as she gave him a dirty look.

"If you tell me to breathe one more time, I'm gonna rip your head off and throw it onto Broadway." she growled at him as the others attempted not to laugh.

"Sorry Baby. I'm just trying to help." he said with his arms around her.

"Yeah well, I don't think you need to remind me to breathe. I've been doing it for 27 years without being reminded. Why would you think I'd need to be reminded now?" she asked wincing in pain.

"You're right Keel. I'm sorry." he said leaning over to kiss her head as they pulled into the emergency room lot.

"Oh man, this hurts like hell. I can't believe women do this more than once." she complained as Roger helped her out of the SUV.

"They say it's a pain you forget." Maureen said as Keely and Roger gave her a dirty look. "Sorry, but they do." she said looking down at her as Roger led her into the hospital.


	52. Chapter 52

"Dad, thank God. I'm glad you're here." Joanne called out rushing towards Mr. Jefferson who was standing in the lobby of the hospital.

"Well, you said it was urgent. Now where is the bride and groom to be?" he asked looking down at her.

"Right here Mr. Jefferson. Can you marry us in 5 minutes or less?" Keely asked looking up at him as she sat in the wheelchair that Mark brought over for her.

"I think I can do that. As long as there's not gonna be anyone protesting or anything." he smiled looking down at her.

"I think we're safe." Roger laughed looking up at him.

"Is this gonna be legal?" Collins asked looking up at Mr. Jefferson.

"Do you two have your marriage license?" he asked looking over at them.

"Yeah... yes. We got it yesterday. We were gonna go back to city hall today to get married, but my daughters had other plans." Roger laughed looking up at him as he knelt next to her wheelchair.

"OK then it will be legal. I mean, if you want to do this again for your other friends and family, you certainly can, but you will be legally married as soon as I pronounce you husband and wife. Let's get started. Do you Roger take Keely to be your wife?" he asked looking over at him.

"You bet your..." he said as Keely interrupted him.

"Roger, um... just say I do." she laughed looking up at him.

"Oh right. Sorry, um... yes, yes I do." he smiled looking down at Keely as she clutched his hand tight.

"Do you Keely take Roger to be your husband?" he asked looking down at Keely.

"Yes I do." she smiled looking up at him.

"Does anyone have rings?" he asked looking around at the guys.

"Oh, yeah. Got it covered Mr. J." Collins smiled handing Roger the rings. He placed Keely's on her finger and she placed his on his.

"By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss your bride so she can have those beautiful little girls." he smiled looking down at them.

"I love you Roger." she smiled as he leaned over to kiss her.

"I love you too Keel." she smiled caressing her face.

"Now, can you have these babies?" Mimi asked impatiently.

"I'll be out as soon as I can. Thank you so much Mr. Jefferson. I owe you." Roger smiled standing up to take Keely to the maternity ward.

"Good luck sweetie." Alison called out as Roger rushed her off.

"Thank you." Keely answered waving her hand at her.

"Thanks daddy. You have no idea how crazy Keely was getting at the prospect of becoming a mother before she was a wife." Joanne laughed looking up at him.

"It's only natural for a women to want to be a wife before she's a mother." he smiled putting his arm around her shoulder as everyone waited in the waiting room.

* * *

"Mr. Davis, we're gonna need you to do a Cesarean section on your wife due to her HIV status, you're gonna need to change into a surgical gown if you want to be in the room." the nurse told him standing next to Keely's arm..

"Yes of course. Whatever I need to do. I wanna be there for the birth of my daughters." he said holding Keely's other hand, wincing as the nurse put the IV into Keely's arm.

"Roger, I'm fine. Why don't you go get yourself changed. I'm not going anywhere." Keely smiled looking up at him seeing his discomfort.

"I'm fine Keel." he smiled faintly looking down at her.

"Come with me Mr. Davis. You'll be back in no time." she smiled taping the tube to Keely's arm.

"OK. I'll be right back Baby." he said leaning down to kiss Keely.

"Hey. I love you Mr. Davis." she smiled lifting her other hand to caress his cheek.

"I love you too Mrs. Davis." he smiled looking into her beautiful blue eyes. He saw the calmness in her eyes, which put him more at ease.

* * *

"They're gorgeous Baby. They looks just like you." Keely smiled looking down at the babies in their bassinets.

"They're incredible Keel. Look at them. They're little people. We made little people." he smiled looking down at the baby in disbelief.

"Um, yeah Roger. That's what happens. First they grow in here and then they're here with us." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah but... wow. They're incredible. I mean look at them Keel. These are our daughters." he smiled looking down at them.

"Do you wanna hold one of them?" she asked looking up at him.

"Can I?" he asked looking down at her.

"Of course you can. They're ours you know. Bought and paid for." she laughed carefully looking up at him.

"I don't want to hurt them. They're so small." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, they're not gonna break. They're babies, not china dolls. Why don't you take Randi? She looks calm enough." she smiled down at the sleeping baby.

"I don't know what I'm doing." he told her reluctantly taking Randi from her bassinet.

"Just support her head and don't drop her." she smiled looking up at him. He was holding the baby in her arms.

"What do I do now?" he asked looking down at Keely.

"Talk to her Roger. She's your daughter, not an alien from outer space. Get to know her." she explained looking up at him.

"Hey... um... hey Randi. I'm... um... I'm your dad. You were named after your cool uncle. He would so love you my little sweetie." he stuttered looking down at her. She began to stretch opening her eyes to look at him. "Keel, she has your eyes. They're so... they're so blue." he smiled looking down at her.

"Now you're in trouble." she smiled looking up at him enjoying the view as she held Angel in her bassinet.

"They're the bluest eyes I've ever seen. She's so perfect Keel." he smiled looking down at her.

"They're both perfect Roger. They're our daughters." she smiled watching him cradle the baby in his arms.

"Our daughters Keel. We made them. We made these little people. These perfect little people." he smiled swaying the baby in his arms.

"Yeah, we did Baby." she smiled watching him bond with his newborn daughter as the other one slept in her arms.

* * *

"I think we're in trouble with these little ones." Collins smiled looking up at Roger as he held Angel in his arms.

"Um… yeah. I'm thinking you're right." he laughed looking down at him as he held Randi in his arms.

"You boys better not spoil them." Keely smiled looking up at them.

"Who? Us?" Mark asked looking over at her smiling.

"We would never do something like that." Oliver smiled looking over at her.

"You just better be good with them. The last thing I need are two spoiled little girls who have the men in their lives wrapped around their little fingers." she laughed looking up at them. "Oh God, that hurts."

"Are you OK Baby?" Roger asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It's just... I guess I'm not gonna be going out to the comedy clubs anytime soon with this incision." she groaned leaning another way.

"You'll heal chica. You'll see." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know, but I meant what I said Collins. No spoiling these girls, OK? I know how you are." she smiled over at him.

"What good is having little girls around if we can't make them the princesses?" Collins asked looking over at her.

"Behave yourselves or I'll cut you all off." she told him as Alison's mouth dropped.

"You just mean them, right? I mean, you're not talking about us, are you?" she asked looking over at her.

"I mean everyone. I don't want my little girls to be spoiled." she said looking over at her.

"But what good is having little girls around if we can't spoil them like crazy?" Mimi asked looking down at her.

"It's bad enough their father is already putty in their teeny tiny little hands. I don't need you guys bending to their every will as well." she smiled looking up at Roger who was staring down at Randi.

"What? Is it my fault they're so beautiful and perfect?" he asked looking over at her.

"Yes, they look just like you." Keely smiled looking up at him.

"I can't believe Roger's a father to twin girls. This is so unreal." Maureen smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah well, get used to it. I plan on being around a long time for these little beauties here." he smiled leaning down to take her out of Collins arms.

"You better be." Keely smiled looking up at him.

* * *

"Roger, why don't you go home? You can get some sleep and change your clothes." Keely suggested quietly looking over at Roger who was sitting next to the bassinets still wearing his suit. His tie was sticking out of his side pocket..

"I'm not leaving you Keel. Besides, I like watching them sleep. They look like perfect little angels." he smiled reaching over for Keely's hand.

"Yes they do. We did pretty good, didn't we?" she smiled looking over at the babies.

"Yeah Baby. We did really good." he smiled looking over at her before lifting her hand to his lips. "They're perfect. I've never seen more perfect girls in my life. Well, since I met their mother." he smiled squeezing her hand.

"Yeah well, their mother's exhausted. Creating life takes a lot out of a woman." she smiled looking over at him.

"You sleep Baby. If they get up, I got them." she smiled leaning up to kiss her.

"I love you Roger." she smiled looking over at him.

"Keel, I love you so much. Thank you for giving me my daughters." he whispered caressing her face.

"You helped." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah well, my part was fun." he laughed kissing her again.

"Isn't this how we got here to begin with?" she laughed carefully reaching up to caress his face.

"Hey, I'm ready when you are for more." he smiled looking into her blue eyes.

"Oh no you don't. Two for the price of one, remember?" she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"OK Baby, but just for the record, we make beautiful babies. It would be a shame not to have more." he smiled kissing her again.

"We'll see Baby, OK?" she smiled laying her head back onto the pillow, obviously tired.

"That's all I ask. I love you Keel." he smiled caressing her cheek before sitting down in his chair so she could go to sleep.

* * *

6 Months Later

"OK, come here little one. Let daddy go to work." Keely smiled taking Angel out of Roger's arms.

"But I don't wanna go. I wanna stay here with my girls." he whined looking up at her.

"Roger, we do this everyday. Go to work. Me and the girls have an appointment with the doctor anyway." she said rocking the baby in her arms.

"I'll go with you if you want me to, Keel." he said getting up from the couch.

"It's OK. You have work anyway." she said putting the baby down changing her.

"I can call in. Tommy'll understand. I don't like the idea of you going alone with them." he said looking down at the baby as she gripped his finger.

"Roger, the way you are, it's just easier if I go alone. I can take care of the girls. What I can't take is you pacing around the waiting room all of the time." she told him before going into the kitchen.

"Keel, I'm just nervous. Thank God they've been testing negative for the past 6 months." he said looking over at her.

"Yeah well, that could change. Have you ever thought of that? They haven't done an antibody test yet. And that could be positive." she asked holding back tears.

"Keel, you can't think like that." he said walking over to her.

"Why not? It's a possibility." she yelled pulling away from him.

"They're gonna be fine Baby. You have to believe that." he insisted taking her arm.

"I'm trying to Roger. I really am." she cried as he took her in his arms.

"I'm going with you Keel. I don't want you to have to do this alone." he whispered leaning down to kiss her head.

"OK." Keely nodded with her face buried in his chest.


	53. Chapter 53

3 Months Later

"Roger, Keely, we got the girls test results back. Randi's tests are fine, but Angel's test came back abnormal. We're gonna take some blood to do the antibody test. Do you two have any questions?" the pediatrician asked looking over at them as Roger held the 6 month old in his arms.

"Is she positive? Because she's been testing negative. They both have." Keely asked looking over at him.

"Baby, let him finish." Roger said looking down at her as Angel slept on his shoulder.

"No Roger. I want to know what the last test said." Keely said looking up at him clearly becoming upset.

"Well, Randi's tests have been consistent. But Angel's recent test results were a bit abnormal. I'd just like to do an antibody test. She's 6 months old now and your antibodies should be out of her system by now. That'll give us a conclusive test result." he said looking down at the chart.

"So, she could be positive? Is that what you're telling us?" she asked holding back tears.

"That's not what I'm saying Keely. I just want to make sure." he said looking over at them.

"Fine. Do it. Do the damn test. It'll say that she's negative and we'll know." Roger said looking over at the baby.

"And what if she's positive Roger? Then what?" Keely asked pacing around the examining room.

"We'll handle it Keel. But it could be negative." he said looking over at her.

"Whatever Roger. Just do the test." she said looking up at him as tears filled her eyes.

"We're just gonna take her blood and we'll know the results in a few days." the doctor said as Roger rocked the baby in his arms and Keely stayed on the other side of the room with Randi sleeping in the carriage.

* * *

"What if it is positive? Then what?" Mark asked as Roger wiped down the same spot on the bar repeatedly.

"I don't know Mark. It'll kill Keely, that's for sure." Roger yelled throwing the rag across the room.

"She's not gonna be positive Roger. You just need to have some faith." he said looking over at him.

"Keely's gonna lose it if she's positive. I saw that when we were at the doctor and he said that her last test results were abnormal." he answered looking down. "DAMMIT Cohen. What the hell am I gonna do?" he yelled looking up at him.

"It'll be OK Roger. You're not gonna do this alone. You and Keely have us to lean on. We're a family." Mark said looking over at his friend. He had never seen Roger so upset. He wished there was something he could do to help him, but he knew there was nothing.

* * *

"It's OK chica. She's gonna be OK, you'll see." Mimi said looking over at Keely as she washed dishes in the sink.

"Mimi, how can you say that? You don't know that. Not even the doctor knows that." she asked looking over at her.

"Keely I know what you're going through." she said standing next to her.

"How? How could you know what I'm going through? You and Oliver don't have a baby who could be positive. Your husband is not in complete denial of the fact that your daughter could be and it could be because of you." she cried turning off the water and rushing to her bedroom.

"Keely, are you OK? I mean, other than worrying about Angel?" she asked looking over at her.

"What else it there Mimi? One of my daughters could be positive and no one, including my husband, seems to realize it." she asked looking over at her.

"She could be negative Keely, just like Randi. You have to realize that that's a reality too. You can't dwell on the negative." she said looking over at her.

"How? How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to suppress my feelings just to have them let down if she's diagnosed?" she yelled sitting up on the bed.

"Why do this to yourself when she could just as easily test negative? You're making yourself crazy Keely, for what? Ifs?" she asked standing up.

"I need to go out for a little while. Can you keep an eye on the girls for me?" she asked wiping the tears from her wet face.

"Yeah. Yeah chica. I can do that for you." she answered looking over at her.

"Thank you." she said leaving the bedroom and then the apartment.

* * *

"What do you mean she's having a meltdown? Mimi, you're not making any sense." Roger asked walking through the village holding his cell phone to his ear.

"She rushed out of here ranting about making Angel positive and you and the rest of us being in denial. You have to find her Roger. She's not answering her cell phone or anything. She left Randi and Angel with me and she was really upset. I really don't think she should be alone right now." she told him as the baby slept in her crib.

"Did the doctor call? Did he say something?" he asked looking around for Keely.

"No. She just started talking about how you and everyone else is in complete denial about the fact that her daughter could be positive and it would be because of her. Then she asked if I could stay with the girls for a little while and she left. You need to find her. She needs you." she said pacing around the apartment.

"I hope she didn't start drinking." he said quietly running his fingers through his hair.

"Of course she didn't Roger. She has too much to stay sober for." she told him.

"No, of course not. That was stupid. You're right. I'm just worried about her. But where could she be?" he asked looking up at the buildings.

"She's your wife Roger. Do you mean to tell me, you don't know where she would go?" she asked frustrated as she looked down at the babies who were still sleeping.

"Mimi, she goes to you when she needs to talk to someone other than me." he yelled frustrated, but calming himself down. "Listen, I'll call you later. I'm gonna try her cell again." he told her before closing the phone before dialing Keely's cell phone number from his phone. The phone rang a few times until she picked up.

"Roger. Where are you?" she asked. He could tell she had been crying.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing. Why don't you tell me where you are? I'll come get you." he told her as he continued walking.

"I just need to be alone for a little while Roger. I feel like I'm never alone anymore and I need to be able to think about things. You never let me think about things. You always want me to have faith and I'm not sure I can keep doing it." she cried into the phone as he stopped and leaned against a building.

"Baby, tell me where you are. I promise we'll talk and I'll really listen this time. I just want to find you and make sure you're OK. We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. I just want to know that you're OK." he told her quietly. She could hear the concern in his voice.

"Roger, we really need to talk about things. I can't keep dodging everything. I know you and everyone else don't think that my fears about Angel possibly being positive are valid, but they are. We're waiting for her antibody test results. You don't get it. It's real now. You can will her to be negative all you want, but that's not gonna make it so. She could be positive and it's not gonna be your fault, it's gonna be mine. I'm her mother." she cried clutching a bottle of vodka in her hand.

"Keely, please tell me where you are? I swear I'll listen to you. But I need to make sure you're OK." he asked holding back his own tears.

"Um... I'm on the roof at the loft. I um... I needed to be alone." she cried leaning against the door leading up to the rooftop.

"I'm coming Baby. I'm on my way." he told her running as fast as he could still holding the cell phone to his ear towards the building on Avenue A.

"Roger, I know we won't find out for a few days about Angel, but I have a really bad feeling." she cried into the phone as he approached the building.

"I know Baby. But you see, I have a really good feeling about things. That's gotta count for something, doesn't it?" he told her as he opened the door and began climbing the stairs.

"I hope so, but I just don't know anymore Roger." she cried as he reached the roof.

"I love you, Randi and Angel so much Keel. I just want to live my life with my girls. If she's positive, we'll deal with it together. Now let me in Baby. Please." he pleaded standing outside the door.

"Roger, I'm so sorry." she cried opening the door. He could see the bottle she was holding in her hand.

"What did you do Baby?" he asked taking the bottle from her before pulling her into his arms.

"I don't know how to handle this Roger. But I didn't open it. I swear. Look, the seal isn't even broken." she cried into his neck.

"Baby, I love you so much. None of this is your fault. You have to believe that." she whispered caressing her hair with is free hand.

"I'm sorry Roger. I don't know what else to do. I just don't." she cried harder clutching him tighter.

"It's OK Keel. You gave me the most amazing thing anyone could have. You gave me a family. You and our daughters mean the world to me. Even if Angel's positive, there are things we could do to help her live with this. And she could live a long and healthy life. Who knows, she could even live long enough for them to find a cure. She could be the one to find it." he whispered holding her tight.

"I'm so sorry Roger. I never wanted this to happen to my baby." she cried holding him tight.

"I'm not sorry for any of it. I love my life exactly the way it is." he told her leaning down to kiss her head.

"Even if one of our little girls are positive?" she asked looking up at im.

"Especially if one of our little girls are positive. If she is, we're gonna have to teach her more than ever that life is a precious gift that we shouldn't take for granted." he said looking down at her.

"So is love." she whispered leaning up to kiss him.

* * *

"Are you sure she's OK?" Mimi asked quietly as she and Roger sat in the living room at his and Keely's apartment. Keely was lying down. She was emotionally exhausted.

"I don't know. I mean, I found her on the roof with a bottle of vodka. She didn't take a drink this time, but we still have the reality of everything to deal with. I think I'm gonna try to get her to talk to someone. You know, like a therapist or something. She's really scared that Angel is gonna be positive. And as much as I want her to be wrong, I can't help but live in reality. If that little girl in there is... it's gonna kill her. Literally. That beautiful, amazing woman in there could fall over the edge and actually take that drink. Then there will be nothing I can do to get my Keely back." he whispered so Keely couldn't hear him.

"I know. I worry about her too Roger. But we can't think about Angel being positive right now. The doctor hasn't told you guys anything to indicate that she's gonna definitely be positive. Why can't she just wait for the final tests to come back?" Mimi asked looking over at him.

"Because she's her mother Mimi. It's her job to protect those girls and it's my job to protect all three of them." he told her before getting up to pace the living room.

"As much as we all want to protect them, it's just not possible. Not from this anyway. This is beyond our control." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, that's why I think it's time my wife and I start counselling. This is taking it's toll on her and I don't know how long I can hang before I lose it." he said going into the babies room just as one of them started to cry. "Daddy's gotcha princess. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." he whispered kissing her head as he picked Angel up into his arms. He wished it was true.


	54. Chapter 54

"I'm sorry, Angel has HIV antibodies. She's HIV positive." the doctor said looking over at them.

"No um... That can't be. How could that be? I took all the meds and we took precautions. Randi's negative, how could Angel be positive? I did everything I was supposed to do." Keely asked holding back tears. "Roger, how could that be?" she asked looking over at him.

"I um... I don't know Keel." he told her reaching over to take her hand and hold it tight.

"I'm really sorry. I wish there was something else I could do. But now that we know, she can continue taking her meds and she should live a very long time. This is not a death sentence. You two know that." he said looking over at Keely.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I gotta go." she said looking over at Roger before rushing for the door.

"Keel. Keel wait." he called out rushing after her.

"What am I waiting for Roger? Me to kill our daughter. Guess what? I already did. I gotta get out of here. I'm sorry Roger." she yelled turning around and running out of the clinic.

"Roger, we need to talk about Angel's treatment." the doctor said standing behind him.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, um... can you just write out her scripts? Me and Keel will be back when she's calmed down." he asked quietly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Of course. Again, I'm sorry." the doctor said putting his hand on Roger's shoulder before writing the prescriptions out so Roger could leave. As he left the clinic he took his cell phone out and called Keely's cell phone. When he didn't get an aswer, he shut if phone and called home.

"Mimi, it's me. Um... is she there?" Roger asked calling Mimi who was babysitting Angel.

"No, I thought she was with you. What happened?" she asked as she sat in their apartment.

"She's positive and Keely freaked out and ran out of the doctors office. I'm gonna try your place again. I'll call you when I find her." he told her walking towards the loft.

"Oh my God. You have to find her Roger. What if she bought another bottle and actually succeeds in falling off the wagon?" she asked looking over at Angel and Randi who were sleeping in their porta crib.

"Just stay with the girls OK. I don't know when we'll be home." he said holding back tears.

"Of course Roger. I'll be here as long as you need me. Just find Keely, please." she said running her fingers through her long curly hair.

"I will." he told her closing the cell phone before running at full speed to Mimi's apartment. "Keely. Keel, are you in there? Open the door Keely. It's me. We need to talk Baby. Please open the door." he yelled pounding on the door.

"Roger, what's going on?" Mark asked coming down the stairs.

"We got the results from Angel's tests back today and she's positive. Keely ran out of the clinic and I don't know where she is. I'm afraid that she started drinking again and she's not answering Mimi's door. I'm gonna break the damn thing down if she doesn't." he yelled so she could hear him if she was in there.

"She's not in there. She's upstairs. She ran into the loft and locked herself in your room. She won't come out and she won't let anyone else in. Not even for Collins." he told him looking down at him as he continued walking down to stairs until he reached Roger.

"I have to go Mark. She's my wife and she needs me. She should not have to deal with this alone. It's her worst nightmare come true. She needs me." he said starting up the stairs.

"Roger, give her time. Like you said, her worst nightmare has been realized. She needs time to process this." Mark said stopping him.

"What if she bought a bottle and is drinking it in there right now? I have to go to her." he said looking down at Mark.

"She didn't. She came in empty handed. She's just trying to deal with this without drinking. It's hard on her." he said looking over at Roger.

"I swore to her and her parents that I would never let anything hurt her or my girls. That I would never let anything happen to them. I couldn't stop this Mark. I couldn't protect either of them from this. I couldn't..." he started before he crumbled to the floor crying uncontrollably.

"I know Roger. Let it out. It'll be OK. You're not gonna be alone in this. I swear." Mark told him wrapping his arms around his friend as he rocked back and forth.

"She was supposed to be our future Mark. Her and Randi. But now, she's gonna repeat our mistakes. She was supposed to be the shining light in this whole thing. Now she's gonna suffer the same fate we are. This isn't fair Mark. It's not fair." he cried as his body shook.

"I'm so sorry Roger. I'm sorry." he whispered holding his friend tighter trying to comfort him, but he knew that he could do nothing more than hold him and be there for him.

* * *

"Babygirl, you gotta open the door. You shouldn't be alone right now." Collins said knocking on Roger's bedroom door.

"Go away Collins. I need to be alone." she called out from the bed crying.

"It's gonna be OK Keely. We'll deal with this. Just come out. Please." he pleaded leaning against the wall next to the door.

"How is she gonna be OK? Collins, I don't think you understand. I GAVE MY LITTLE GIRL AIDS. HOW IS THAT GONNA BE OK?" she yelled opening the door for him.

"You did not give her AIDS. Yeah, she's HIV positive, but she's healthy. She can live that way for a very long time. High school. College. Babygirl, she is not dying. You need to realize that." he said looking down at her.

"What am I gonna do Collins? I couldn't prevent my daughter from getting HIV from me. I did everything I could do to make sure she would be negative, but she's not. I failed her. I failed and now she's gonna die much too soon because of it. One stupid mistake in a bar one night with a guy I didn't even love. Sex that wasn't even that good and I've doomed my daughter for life." she cried as he took her into his arms.

"Babygirl, I wish you would let me call Roger. He should really be here." he said comforting her.

"No. Don't you call him Collins. I need time away from him. He doesn't understand. He's not the one who infected his little girl. He probably hates me right now anyway." she cried looking up at him.

"He could never hate you Babygirl. That boy is so in love with you, he could never hate you." he whispered leaning down to kiss her head.

"How could he not hate me? I made our little girl sick. I hate me right now." she cried into his chest as he tried his best to comfort her.

* * *

"I'm going up there Mark. I have to." Roger said hearing Keely yell at Collins before wiping his face dry and bolting up from the floor.

"You can't Roger. She needs time alone." he said looking up at him as he struggled to get up.

"My wife is right upstairs, tearing herself apart thinking that I hate her. I have to make sure she knows that I don't. That it's not her fault." he insisted looking over at him.

"I'm not sure that you're the right person at this point in time to tell her that. She's in really bad shape. She's not gonna believe you right now." he told him.

"So what am I supposed to do Mark? My wife is suffering and she needs me. She needs to know that I love her no matter what." he said looking down at him.

"She knows Roger. She's just in a bad way right now. Give her time. Collins will talk her down. He always does. He loves her almost as much as you do. He won't let anything happen to her. You know that." he said looking over at him.

"I'm going upstairs man. I have to." Roger told him before rushing up the stairs.

"Roger stop." he said watching run up the stairs.

"Keely." he called out quietly looking over at Keely as she and Collins stood just inside his room at the loft.

"How did he know I was here? Make him go away. I don't want to talk to him right now." she cried looking up at Collins before rushing over to the bed.

"Babygirl, you need to talk to him." he told her as Roger entered the bedroom.

"I am not talking to him. I don't want to talk to anyone." she yelled looking up at him.

"Baby, it's gonna be OK. I love you." Roger said walking towards her.

"I don't understand Roger. I don't understand how this could happen. I was so afraid of this but I had her anyway hoping that if I took the meds and we took precautions like they told me to, she'd be fine. But she's positive anyway. How could Angel be positive and Randi's not? I don't understand this. How could I have done this to my little girl? And how could you love me anyway?" she cried uncontrollably as Roger rushed to her side.

"Everything's gonna be OK Keely. We'll make sure she's OK." he told her beginning to cry.

"I'm sorry Roger. I never wanted to give this to her. I never wanted to do this to my little girl." she cried pulling away from him to look him in his eyes.

"I know Baby. I know. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to prevent this. To prevent her from getting it or to prevent you from hurting like this." he cried taking her face into his hands.

"What are we gonna do now Roger? Our daughter is HIV positive." she asked looking up at him still crying.

"We give her meds everyday, we take care of her, we love her and we show her that life is a gift." he said pulling her to him.

"I was afraid that you would hate me for condemning our daughter to the same fate we suffer." she cried looking up at him.

"I could never ever hate you Keely. You are the one that I want. Don't ever forget that." he cried kissing her head.

"Roger, just hold me here, OK? I need to feel your arms around me." she cried holding him tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere Baby. I swear. I'm right here." he whispered lying back in the bed as Keely lay her head on his chest.


	55. Chapter 55

"What are they gonna do?" Mimi ranted as she paced around their apartment.

"They're gonna be fine Mimi. Sit down. You're gonna wake the girls up." Oliver said looking up at her as he sat on the couch.

"How are they gonna be fine? Angel is positive and Keely won't talk to Roger. This is such a mess." she said looking down at him.

"I know you can't see this now Baby, but Roger and Keely are gonna be fine. They can handle this." he said getting up to go to her.

"Oliver, what if they can't. You know how Keely's been lately. And now with her worst fears coming true... I don't see how they're gonna survive this. What if she starts drinking again? She's hanging on by a thread as it is." she told him starting to cry.

"Baby, Roger is gonna get them through this. You know how strong he is." he said taking her into his arms.

"Not for this." she cried looking up at him.

"He'll get them into counselling and they'll deal with it." he said looking down at her.

"God knows Keely's gonna need it to get past her guilt over Angel." she said looking up at him.

"Speaking of Angel. I'm gonna go get hers and Randi's lunch ready. Why don't you get yourself cleaned up? There's no telling when Roger and Keely will be home and I don't think they should see you like this." he said looking down at her.

"Good idea Baby. Um... I'll be right back." she said looking up at him before going towards the bathroom. As she closed the door, she leaned against the wall and hugged her stomach before sliding down the wall crying.

* * *

"How is she?" Collins asked as Roger crept out of the bedroom where Keely fell asleep.

"Not good. I don't know what to do. She's filled with such self hatred right now, I'm afraid that she's very close to a nervous breakdown." he told him quietly before sitting down on the couch next to him.

"How's it going trying to find a counselor?" Collins asked looking over at him.

"OK. I mean, I made an appointment with someone for next week. Now all I have to do is tell Keely that we're going." he told him running his fingers through his short blond hair.

"You haven't told her yet? Roger are you insane? You do know that she's gonna feel blindsided by this, right. Like you're pawning her off on someone else." he said looking over at him.

"I'm not doing that Collins. I want us to go together. I mean, with everything we're dealing with right now... I can't carry it on my own. As much as I want to. I can't." he said looking over at him.

"I don't know how you did it for this long man. You're a stronger man than me." he said looking over at him.

"I have to. They're my life. I vowed to myself, to Keely and to Lynn and Martin that I'd always take care of them. I'm scared shit less, but I'm not running. I told her I was through running. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." he said getting off of the couch to pace around the apartment.

"It'll be OK Roger. You have to believe that. You know my Angel would never deal out more than you and Keely could handle." he said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, I'm sorry to say this, but I'm really starting to doubt that right about now." he said going into the kitchen for a beer as the door to the bedroom opened.

"Roger um... can we go home please?" Keely asked quietly standing in the doorway.

"Sure Baby. We can go home if you want to." he smiled quickly putting the beer back in the refrigerator before walking over to her.

"I do. I need to be with my babies." she said looking up at him.

"OK Baby, get your shoes on and we'll go see the girls." he said before leaning down to kiss her head.

"Thank you Collins. I appreciate everything you did for me." she said leaning over to hug hm.

"Babygirl, don't you dare. You never have to thank me for anything. I love you and will do anything. For you and those babies." he smiled kissing her head on the other side.

"Well, thanks anyway. Mimi and Oliver must be crazy with worry about me. And the girls are probably driving them nuts." she laughed slightly trying to lighten her mood.

"I'm sure they're fine with the girls. But I know they're worried about you. They called while you were sleeping." he said looking down at her.

"I'm sorry I'm worrying everyone. I'll be OK." she said looking up at him.

"You don't have to be OK Keel. You're not alone. You always have someone you can lean on in this family." Roger said looking down at her.

"And what about when it's too much for you to handle on your own? Then what? You're not superman, Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Baby, I've been thinking. How would you feel about us seeing a therapist? Together." he asked looking down at her.

"Um... I think... I think it would be a good idea. It would really help." she said looking up at him.

"Really?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah. Set it up. I think we need to talk to a professional about this.." she smiled looking up at him.

"OK." he smiled taking her into his arms and holding her tight before they got ready to go home.

* * *

"Are you OK chica?" Mimi asked rushing to Keely as she and Roger entered the apartment.

"Yeah, um... I'm fine. Where are my girls?" she asked hugging her.

"They're in their room ganging up on Uncle Oliver. I'm so sorry chica." she said hugging her tight.

"Thank you. Um... I'm gonna go check on them." she said quilety looking up at Roger before going towards the girls room.

"Is she really OK?" Mimi asked looking up at him.

"No Mimi, she's not. How would you feel if you not only passed on your eye color but your HIV status to one of your daughters?" he asked looking down at her.

"I'm so sorry Roger. Is there anything I can do?" she asked looking up at him.

"Um... are you free to babysit next week? I made an appointment for me and Keel to see a therapist." he asked walking over to the couch.

"Of course. Anything you need." she replied following him.

"I don't know how much more of this that beautiful woman can take." he told her quietly, clearly frustrated.

"Roger, she's not alone. She doesn't have to deal with this alone." she said sitting next to him.

"Yeah, I know, but just because we keep saying that, it doesn't make it any easier on her. She feels alone in this. She's the one who feels responsible for Angel's diagnosis and no matter what any of us say, she's still tearing herself apart out of guilt. " he told her running his fingers through his hair.

"It'll be OK Roger. You'll see. Look at us. We're living with it and she will too. You'll see. That little girl is gonna live a long, prosperous life no matter what." she said looking over at him.

"Prosperous, huh? Those college courses are really paying off." he smiled weakly looking over at her.

"Yeah well, I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks I am." she smiled looking down at her lap.

"No one thought you were stupid. Not at all." he smiled lifting her chin with his hand.

"Yeah well, dancing in that club didn't exactly scream genius." she said looking up into his green eyes.

"We always knew you were smart. Even when you were dancing in that shitty club, I knew you were meant for so much more. So much better." he smiled looking down at her.

"Thanks Roger." she smiled as Oliver came out of the girls' room.

"What's going on?" he asked seeing Roger and Mimi smiling at each other.

"Nothing, just convincing your lady over here that she's smarter than she thinks she is." Roger smiled looking up at him.

"Well duh. She's with me, isn't she?" he smiled leaning down to kiss Mimi's head.

"I always thought it was because I'm a masochist." she laughed looking up at him.

"Very funny Baby. Um... Keely's asking for you to come into the girls' room." Oliver said looking down at Roger.

"My girls. They can't get enough of me." he smiled looking up at him before getting up from the couch.

"No, Keel just needs reinforcements." Oliver laughed looking up at him.

"Is she OK?" Mimi asked looking up at Oliver.

"As OK as she can be considering. She told me that she and Roger are gonna start seeing a therapist. I think it's a good idea. Lord knows Roger can't shoulder all of this." he said sitting next to her.

"Yeah, no matter how hard he tries." she said leaning into his arms.

"What's up Baby?" Roger asked looking down at Keely who was on the floor playing with some toys with the girls.

"Nothing. I just wanted my family all in one room." she smiled looking up at him.

"Hey my little princesses." he smiled sitting on the floor taking Angel onto his lap.

"She looks so normal, doesn't she? You could never tell that she's sick." she said looking up at him.

"She isn't sick Baby. She's only positive. She'll have to be on meds like us, but she's gonna be a normal little girl. You have to believe that Keel." he said leaning over to caress her face.

"I'm trying. I really am." she said looking up into his green eyes before directing her attention to her girls.

"Can you say mama? Come on, I love you mama." Roger smiled caressing Angel's chubby little cheek as Randi fought to fit a round peg in a square hole.

"I love you too my little angels. Both of you." she smiled leaning down to kiss Randi's head.

* * *

"I can't believe the baby is positive. What's Roger and Keely gonna do?" Maureen asked looking over at Joanne as they sat in the living room of their apartment.

"I don't know." she whispered not looking up at her.

"I know this is hard Pookie, but we have to be there for them now more than ever." she said reaching over for Joanne's hand.

"I can't do this anymore Maureen." she said looking up into her green eyes.

"What do you mean?" Maureen asked confused.

"This. First Angel dies and we're gonna lose Roger, Keely, Collins and Mimi and now that innocent little baby. I can't do this anymore Maureen. It's too much loss." she explained as tears rimmed her eyes.

"But Joanne, they need us. Their our friends. Our family." she said as Joanne got up from the couch.

"Losing Angel was harder than you realize Maureen. You've been living with Roger and Collins being positive for a long time. Longer than I have. And now with Keely and the baby. It's... it's too much for me Maureen." she said looking down at her.

"I'm not gonna abandon them. So if that's what you're getting at..." she started when Joanne cut her off.

"I would never ask you to do that Maureen. I'm just saying that I can't do this anymore. I didn't sign on for this. I'm not asking you to cut off all contact with your friends. I just need to cut myself off. From them and you. It's too painful to be reminded of the death that's looming over our heads all of the time. I'm sorry Maureen. You can stay in the apartment as long as you need to, but once you find a place, I'm selling it." she told her before going into the bedroom and locking the door. Maureen just sat on the couch in shock. She didn't see that coming.

"Joanne, we need to talk about this." Maureen said finally getting up from the couch and going towards the bedroom door.

"What is there to talk about? That little baby is HIV positive and I can't take this anymore. I can't do it anymore Maureen." she yelled opening the door. She was crying. "I love our friends, I really do. But this is too much loss for one family to take. I mean, when we lost Angel, you know how hard it was for me. She was so damn young. And we've been living with Roger, Mimi or Collins being next. Then Keely came in and she was so full of life. It was like Angel was sent back to us. But now the baby is positive and... I don't know Maureen. The prospect of having to watch that beautiful little girl get sick... I just can't handle this anymore. Please understand." she cried packing a bag.

"Don't you think it's hard for me too? But their our family. They need us and and we are damn well gonna be there for them." Maureen argued looking over at her.

"I can't Maureen. Please understand. It's not that I don't love you. Or our friends. I just can't watch as all of our friends get sick and die from this and especially not that little angel. I'm sorry Maureen. Um... I'll be at my parents place. Just let me know when you have another place to live." she told her before pushing herself past Maureen and out of the apartment. Maureen was left standing in the bedroom doorway just staring at the closed apartment door.


	56. Chapter 56

"I can't believe Joanne would do this." Alison said as she lay in hers and Mark's bed.

"It's too much for her. You didn't see her when Angel died. She didn't take it very well." he said looking over at her.

"But breaking up with Maureen because the baby is positive? That doesn't make any sense. Maureen has matured so much these last few years and that's because of her love for Joanne." she said looking over at him.

"I know. But I can understand where Joanne is coming from. This is really hard for her. She didn't sign on for this." he said sitting up in the bed.

"Mark, none of us signed on for this, but here it is. In our laps. We're a family and we deal with things like one." she said getting out of the bed.

"Allie, not everyone feels that way. Joanne's been pulling away more and more since Keely got pregnant. But no one noticed. I did. I saw it coming." he said looking up at her.

"I just don't understand how she could do this to Maureen." she said looking over at him from the dresser.

"Me neither Baby. But we have to be here for Maureen now. She's still our friend." he said looking over at her.

"Are you still hung up on her?" she asked looking over at him.

"No, Allie you know I love you. I'm completely over her. It took a while, but I'm with you now. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." he said looking up at her.

"And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me too Baby." she smiled looking over at him.

* * *

"Mr. And Mrs. Davis, the doctor will see you now." the receptionist smiled looking over at them as they sat in the waiting room of a psychiatrists office.

"Ready Baby?" he asked holding her hand tight.

"Mhm." she nodded quietly before getting up to follow the receptionist to the doctors office.

"Mr. And Mrs. Davis? Hi, I'm Dr. Grady. But you can just call me Leeann. I hate the formalities. Why don't you have a seat and we can talk a bit? I'd like to get to know you two a little. Would that be alright?" she smiled leading them into the office. Her voice was soft and soothing.

"Thank you." Roger smiled uncomfortably before they sat on the couch on the other side of the room.

"So, why don't you two start by telling me about yourselves?" the doctor asked looking over at them.

"Well, I'm Roger, this is my wife Keely. We're HIV positive and we have twin girls. We just found out that our youngest is positive and it's been really hard on us. Especially Keely." Roger explained holding Keely's hand tight as she looked down into her lap. She had yet to speak a word to the psychiatrist.

"That must be very hard for you Keely. Why don't you tell me about what's going on in your lives right now?" Leeann asked looking over at Keely.

"What is there to say? I got pregnant, decided to have my girls and now one of them is positive and my husband doesn't even have the good sense to hate me." Keely told her, looking up at Roger with tears in her eyes.

"I don't hate you because I love you Keel. I could never hate you." he said looking down at her.

"Why the hell not? I had one job. One lousy job in all of this. To make sure our little girls were negative and I couldn't do it." she asked letting go of his hand before getting up to walk around the office.

"Keely, this is not your fault. You have to realize that. It's easy for you to think that you're to blame because there has to be someone to blame when something seems to go wrong. But sometimes, there isn't. These things just happen." the doctor said looking up at her.

"It is my fault. I carried her in my body. I passed on this disease that is gonna kill me, Roger, Collins, and Mimi. That means it's gonna kill her too. My little girl is gonna die way before her time and her sister is gonna have to watch her. Some mother I am, huh?" she cried looking over at the doctor.

"Baby, this is far from your fault. We have two beautiful little girls who are the center of everyone's universe. You shouldn't regret that." he said getting up from the couch to go to her.

"Stop it. Just stop already. Why don't you all just stop? I don't deserve you. Any of you." she cried into her hands.

"Baby, it's OK." he whispered taking her into his arms.

"No. No it's not. Dammit Roger, none of this is OK. I can't take this anymore. All of you being so supportive of me, it hurts me. Don't you see that? Don't any of you see that? I mean, I killed our baby girl and you all love me anyway. I don't deserve it.." she yelled pulling away from him.

"You did not kill her Keely. Sure, she has to take meds everyday, but there is a real possibility that she's gonna be OK for a long time." Leeann said looking over at them.

"Yeah, right. One of my daughters is gonna have to take meds for the rest of her life, like her parents, her aunt and uncle and her sister is gonna have to take care of her and watch her die. At least we get to live long enough to find the love of our lives, but our little girls won't. At least Angel won't. And Randi. Who knows if she's ever gonna be normal? With all the loss that little girl is gonna have to endure in her life." she cried looking down at Leeann.

"But with all of those obstacles in her life, she's gonna know love and life and everything that's good in this world. And that's because of you too. Both of you." Leeann smiled looking up at her.

"But it'll be cut short. All of it will be cut way too short." she cried as Roger put his arm around her.

"But she has you and Roger and your family to show her how amazing life can be. How amazing love can be. She's not gonna lose out on any of it. You have to think about that. Think positive." Leeann said getting up to go to them.

"I don't know if I can do that." she cried looking over at her.

"You can. You'll see. I'm here to help you. And from what I can tell, you have a supportive husband and family as well who would do anything to help you as well." she said looking over at her.

"Where do we start?" Keely asked wiping her eyes.

"How about we start by you sitting down and we talk some more?" she suggested looking over at them.

"OK." she said looking over at her before walking over to the couch with Roger as they continued with their therapy session.

* * *

When Roger and Keely returned to their apartment, there was no one around. "I guess Mimi took the girls to the park." Roger said looking down at her.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna um... I'm gonna go in the bedroom to lay down. Is that OK?" Keely asked looking up at Roger.

"Yeah, of course it's OK Baby. I'll take care of the girls when they get home." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"Thanks honey." she smiled looking up at him before going towards the bedroom. "Um.. Roger?" she called out stopping short of the door.

"Yeah Babe." he answered looking over at her.

"I love you." she smiled faintly looking up at him.

"I love you too Keel. More than anything in this world." he smiled looking over at her before she turned to go into the bedroom. He went into the kitchen for a drink of water and sat on the couch alone.

"You guys are home. Is everything OK? What happened?" Mimi asked looking up at Roger as she came out of the nursery.

"Yeah, it's just been a really emotional day." Roger told her quietly before taking a swig from his water bottle.

"Is she OK now?" she asked looking up at him.

"No Mimi, she's not OK now. It's gonna take a lot of sessions for her to be able to handle what's happening." he told her before putting the water bottle on the table.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked looking up at him.

"Everything we have all been telling her. She just has to realize it." he said getting up to pace around the living room.

"How is the doctor?" she asked looking over at her.

"She's cool. She just kept telling Keel that it's not her fault, but Mimi, you should have seen her. I never thought I'd ever see her like that. I mean, she hates herself and is wondering why the rest of us don't hate her too." he said looking over at her.

"We could never hate her Roger. None of this is her fault." she said looking over at him.

"She doesn't think she deserves us to love her and stand behind her. That beautiful woman in there. My beautiful wife, so full of life, doesn't think she deserves our love and support." he told her quietly before picking up the water bottle.

"Of course she deserves our love and support. Roger, you do realize that she's not thinking clearly because of the baby's diagnosis. She just has to come to terms with everything and realize that this is not her fault. Things just happen and this just sort of happened." she said looking over at him.

"Yeah well, that doesn't make it any easier for her to deal with. Or for me to watch." he told her looking down at his feet.

"Well the girls are sleeping if you want to go in and lay down with her. I'll be here for them when they get up." she said looking over at him.

"No, I think she need time to rest. She's been going through a lot lately and me smothering her all the time is not good. She needs time alone right now and I think so do I." he said picking up his water bottle before getting up and leaving the apartment. Mimi sat in the apartment alone staring at the door. She sat back on the couch and started up at the pictures of Roger and Keely that were hanging on the wall.

"It'll be OK. You'll see." she whispered looking up at her favorite one. It was of Roger and Keely singing together. Mark had taken it when they first started dating. Keely's hair was wild and her eyes were lined heavily in black eyeliner. They were smiling at each other and you could tell how in love they were. They had not a care in the world. Now their life was so complicated. They were married and had twin daughters. One of whom was positive. Mimi was afraid that nothing would ever be that way again.


	57. Chapter 57

"Roger, what the hell are you doing here?" Collins asked walking into the bar where Roger was sitting on a barstool drinking.

"Getting drunk. What does it look like?" he asked not looking up at him.

"Yeah, that's pretty obvious. Do you think it's such a good idea for you to be here drinking when you have an alcoholic wife at home?" he asked sitting next to him.

"Why are you here Collins?" he asked looking into his beer bottle before lifting it to his lips to take a swig.

"Looking for you. You weren't answering your cell and your lady was worried about you, so I figured you'd be here." he said looking over at him.

"I wasn't answering my cell because I didn't want to deal with anyone's shit right now." he said not looking over at him.

"What happened at the shrink's office today?" he asked looking over at him.

"Nothing. My wife doesn't feel like she deserves anyone's love and support, including mine and there's nothing I can do to make her feel like she does." he said looking down at the bar.

"Of course she deserves it. She'll see that. She just needs time." he said putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"Yeah well, I hate like hell that there is nothing I can do to make her see that. She's my wife Collins, but I'm afraid that my beautiful, loving, full of life Keely is gone. And I just want to get her back." he said setting the beer bottle on the bar before getting up from the stool.

"She's not gone Roger. She just has a lot on her mind." he said looking over at him.

"Yes, she is gone Collins. I look into my wife's beautiful eyes. The eyes that used to knock me on my ass everytime I looked into them. The eyes that were always filled with such life and love. Now I look into her eyes and I see pain. She's not the same girl I fell in love with. She's not the same girl I married." he said looking over at him.

"She is the same girl. She just needs to see that this could not have been helped. No matter what." he said looking over at him.

"I hope this shrink can help her see that. I really do." he said running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"She will. Just give her time." he said looking over at him. "Um... Rog, did the shrink mention anything about maybe putting her on depression meds or something?" he asked looking over at him.

"No, it's not that. It's about Angel's diagnosis. She was fine before..." he started looking over at him.

"No Roger, she wasn't fine before that. She's been afraid since the day she found out she was pregnant." he said looking over at him.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I was afraid for the girls too? I was, but I love Keely and I wanted to have everything with her. A normal life, kids. Everything. This isn't her fault, it's mine. I was so damn selfish. She was scared from the get go and I was the one pushing. Pushing to have the girls and now her worst fears came true and she has to live with it." he yelled looking over at him.

"It's not your fault Roger. Those girls have two incredible parents, who love them and would rather die then let anything happen to them. You and Keel love each other and you love those little girls too. You'll get past this, I promise." he said going to him.

"I'm afraid that we're not gonna make it Collins." he said starting to cry.

"You will make it. Trust me." he said looking over at him.

"I'm so scared Collins. I'm scared that we won't. She won't talk to me. All she does is look at me and she thinks I should hate her. But I don't." he cried as Collins wrapped his arms around him comfortingly.

"You'll see man. Everything'll work out. Just give it time." he said looking down at him.

"I hope so man. I don't want to lose her." he said looking over at him before wiping his face dry.

"You're not gonna lose her. But what the hell are you doing getting drunk when you should be home with your family?" he said looking over at him.

"I needed to get away. I mean, she needed time alone and I thought I should have time alone too." he said looking over at him.

"Well, I happen to know that your wife and daughters are waiting at home for you. And Mimi said Keely's up and she wants to talk to you." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah, I guess I should be going home." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah, your girls need you." he said looking over at him.

"Thanks man. I appreciate you talking me down." he said looking over at him.

"Anything man. You're my best friend." he smiled looking over at him.

* * *

"Keel, I'm home." he called out as he walked into the apartment.

"Roger, where have you been? You haven't been answering your cell or anything. I was worried sick about you." Keely asked rushing over to Roger.

"I just needed time. I'm sorry Keel." he said taking her into his arms and holding her tight.

"Are you OK Roger? You've been drinking, haven't you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Keel. I needed time alone." he said looking down at her.

"No, I'm sorry Roger. The way I've been acting lately... I haven't been fair to you." she said looking up at him.

"No Keel, I'm the one who was being unfair. I mean, I wanted to have the girls and now Angel's positive and I can't help but feel like you should hate me for it." he said looking over at her.

"I don't hate you for it Roger. I love you and I love my girls. I've just been feeling like you and everyone else were being unrealistic. I mean, let's face it, even though we created her together, I'm the one she got the disease from. But you know what? As much as I've been trying to. I do not regret having them. Not at all." she smiled looking up at him.

"Really?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yeah, really. I guess I realized that Leeanne was right. Even with all the obstacles the girls have in their lives, they'll know love and life and how special all of it is. We wanted to give our girls that to begin with." she said looking up at him.

"I'm so glad you feel that way Baby." he said taking her into his arms again.

"I'm so sorry. I've been cutting you and everyone else out. You're my husband and I haven't been treating you very well." she said holdling him tight.

"It's understandable Keel. I mean, you're the one who carried them in your womb and now Angel is positive. You had every right to lash out." he said looking down at her.

"No I didn't. I forgot that I'm not alone in this. You're dealing with it as much as I am. I realize that now. I'm so sorry Roger. I didn't mean to do this to you." he said looking up at him.

"I was just afraid I was losing you." he said looking down at her.

"You could never lose me Roger. I told you that a million times." she said looking up into his eyes.

"I know, I just thought... I'm sorry Keel." he whispered looking into her blue eyes.

"I know Roger. I know." she said lifting her hand up to caress his face. "I love you Roger." she smiled leaning up to kiss his lips.

"I missed you Keel." he whispered holding her close to his chest.

"I know Roger. I missed you too." she whispered burying her face in his chest.

* * *

3 months later

"Angel, where's mommy? Can you find mommy? There's mommy. Say, hey mommy. What's up?" Roger asked bouncing into the bathroom carrying Angel Keely was giving Randi a bath.

"Hi mama's Angel. Is daddy being silly again?" she asked smiling up at him.

"Mmm mama." she called out leaning out of Roger's arms to reach for Keely.

"Not yet my sweet angel. Let me finish giving Randi her bath and then we can all play, OK?" she smiled looking up at them.

"Come on Angel, it's time for your medicine." Roger smiled opening the medicine chest and taking her meds out.

"Roger, you have to have a water bottle ready for her or she'll spit it out. She hates the way that stuff tastes." Keely smiled cleaning Randi who was splashing the water.

"Gotcha Baby. And that's why she's the mama, my little princesses." he smiled looking at the girls.

"That's right. I'm the mama." she laughed taking Randi out of the tub before wrapping the little girl in a towel.

"The best mama in the world." Roger smiled leaning down to kiss Keely's head before they left the bathroom. He went into the kitchen, she went into the nursery with Randi.

"Um... Roger, I was thinking of maybe getting a babysitter for tonight, so we can go out just you and me." Keely called out from the bedroom.

"Are you serious Keel? Just you and me?" he asked standing in the doorway holding Angel in his arms.

"Yeah, why not? It's been a while since we've been out on a date just you and me." she smiled looking back at him.

"I'd love that Keel." he smiled looking over at her as Angel started paying with Roger's earring. "No play with daddy's earring Angel. No." he told her sternly before taking her hand from his earlobe before kissing it.

"I told you those are gonna be trouble with babies around." she laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah, maybe I should think about taking them out. At least when I'm home." he laughed looking over at Angel who was already struggling to reach for his ear again. "No earrings Angel. Geez, she is one stubborn little girl." he laughed kissing her hand again.

"Reminds me of her father." Keely laughed looking over at them.

"Hey, stop teasing the daddy. I'm out numbered by all you girls." he laughed poking Angel's belly as the baby laughed.

"And you love it." Keely laughed picking Randi up from the crib, dressed in a pink and gray sweatsuit that matched Angel's gray and pink one.

"Yes I do." he smiled bringing Angel's head to his lips to kiss her.

* * *

"This is so great, I'm so glad you two are finally going out alone together again. It's been way too long." Mimi smiled looking over at Keely as she got ready to go out.

"Yeah well, it's hard to do when you're pregnant with twins and then taking care of them. But I think this is finally the beginning of us getting back to being us again, you know?" Keely smiled putting her earrings in her ears.

"That's great Keel. It's great to have you back. We missed you." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately. I've been feeling sorry for myself and taking it out on you guys. I shouldn't have done that." she said looking over at her.

"Keel, it's understandable. I mean, you never wanted to give the girls HIV and when you found out Angel was positive, it was hard on you. I understand. We all do." she said looking over at her.

"Yeah, but I'm just... I'm sorry. I shut everyone out and I shouldn't have done that. I tried to take everything on my shoulders and I didn't need to." she said looking over at her.

"Keel, you were dealing with a lot." she said looking up at her.

"But I didn't need to deal with it alone. I'm sorry I shut you guys and Roger. And I'm sorry it took Leeanne to make me see that." she said looking over at her.

"It's cool Keel. No need to apologize." she smiled hugging her. "So, when is your husband coming to pick you up for your date?" she laughed looking over at her.

"In 10 minutes. I can't believe he insists on picking me up like we weren't married and have been living together for like... ever." she laughed looking over at her.

"He's a hopeless romantic. You're lucky. Oli's idea of a date is going to the bar and getting me loaded before we go home and do it." she laughed looking over at her.

"I'm gonna have to have a little talk with that cousin of mine. That's just wrong." she laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah well, not all of us can have a man as romantic and amazing as your husband." she smiled plopping on the bed taking one of the pillows onto her lap.

"But you would think some of it would have rubbed off on dear old Oli." she smiled looking over at her.

"A girl can dream, huh?" she smiled looking up at her.

"Have you guys talked about marriage or anything?" Keely asked turning to look at her.

"No. I mean, things are great the way they are. Why screw it up by talking about changing them, you know?" she said looking up at her.

"Mimi, you shouldn't think that way. I mean, you guys love each other. What's wrong with getting married?" she smiled looking over at her.

"It's complicated Keel." Mimi said looking down.

"Why? Because you guys aren't me and Roger? That's not fair for you two and you know it." she countered looking over at her.

"No. Because I'm pregnant. That's why." she said looking over at her.

"What?" Keely asked as tears rose in her eyes.

"Yeah, I um... I found out the other day." she said looking up at her.

"Are you OK Mimi? Um... what does Oliver say?" she said looking over at her.

"He's avoiding it. I guess you know a little about what that's like, huh?" she said looking over at her.

"How um.. how far along are you?" she asked looking over at her.

"6 and a half weeks." she said looking down.

"What are you gonna do?" she said going towards the bed.

"I'm gonna be a mama." she said looking up at her.

"You don't look too sure about this." she said looking over at her.

"Chica, I'm just scared. What if my baby is positive like Angel?" she asked before breaking down.

"I don't know honey. You just have to wait and see. Do what the doctor tells you and hopefully your baby will be negative like Randi." Keely said taking Mimi into her arms.

"Now I know what you went through when you found out you were pregnant with the girls." Mimi cried into her shoulder.

"Does anyone else know other than me and Oliver?" she asked looking down at her.

"No, just Oliver, you and Allie know for now. And you better not tell Roger either. I'm not ready for everyone's enthusiasm quite yet." she said wiping her wet face trying to regain her composure.

"OK, I promise. You're my best friend and my sister. If you don't want me to tell anyone, I won't. Not even Roger." she said looking over at her.

"I'm just not ready for everyone's positive attitudes, you know?" she asked looking up at her.

"I understand Mimi. Your secret's safe with me." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"I knew I could trust you. You're my best friend Keel. I mean, I may have known the others longer, but I always connected with you more then them." she smiled looking up at her.

"Maybe it's because were in love with the same man." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, we both saw something that not a lot of people saw. The real Roger. Not the brooding rocker he was, but the sweet, kind, gentle man he really is." she smiled looking up at her.

"You knew he would make a great husband and father, didn't you?" Keely smiled looking over at her.

"To you and your babies, yeah. I did. You two were always meant to be together. I saw it the first time he came home talking about you." she smiled looking over at her.

"So will Oli, you know? Just give him a chance." she smiled looking over at her.

"I know he will. You know, I missed sitting here talking to you like this." she smiled looking over at her.

"I'm sorry I've been so lost lately. I haven't been much of a sister or a friend, have I?" she asked looking over at her.

"I understand. We were all pretty worried about you. We were afraid we were gonna lose you." Mimi said looking over at her.

"I know and I'm sorry. But no more. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere again." she said looking over at her.

"Good. I'm gonna need my best friend for what I'm facing." she said hugging Keely again.

"I'm here chica and I'm not going anywhere. I swear." she said holding her best friend in her arms as there was a knock on the door.

"You better finish getting ready chica. Your date's here." she smiled looking up at her.

"He is so demented, but I love him anyway." she laughed looking over at her.

"You know he only does these things because he loves you too." she smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, I know." she smiled getting ready for her date with her husband.

"Is Keely ready?" Roger asked as Mimi opened the door to the apartment.

"Yeah, she'll be out in a minute. You look great." she smiled looking up at him as Keely came out of the bedroom.

"Oh my... you look incredible." Keely smiled breathlessly seeing Roger in his suit.

"You look gorgeous Keel. Wow." he smiled looking down at her.

"Oh stop. This old thing?" she giggled walking up to him.

"That old thing looks hot on you Keel." he smiled looking down at her.

"Why, thank you my love. Are you ready?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Do we have to go out?" he asked staring down at her.

"Yes we do. We haven't been out on a date in ages. Now let's go." she laughed looking up at him.

"Don't wait up." Roger smiled looking down at Mimi.

* * *

"Madam, your chariot awaits." Roger smiled directing Keely to a limosine.

"Oh wow. Roger, how did you do this?" she asked looking up at him.

"I have my ways. And one of Collins students drives a limo to pay for school. He pulled some strings to give it to us for the night. Complete with a driver." she smiled opening the door for her.

"Are you trying to sweep me off my feet Mr. Davis?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Maybe. We have Mimi all night if we want." he smiled looking down at her.

"You are an incredible man Mr. Davis." she smiled looking up at him.

"Nothing is too good for my wife." he smiled as they got into the limo.


	58. Chapter 58

"This is an amazing place Roger. How did you do all this?" Keely asked looking up at him as they entered the restaurant.

"I have my ways. I just wanted tonight to be special." he smiled taking her hand and squeezing it tight.

"It will be special Roger. You and I are together, our marriage is on it's way to recovery and we have a wonderful family." she smiled looking up at him.

"I love you Keel. Welcome back." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"It's great to be back." she smiled looking up at him as they stood in front of the hostess.

"Table for two. Under Davis. Roger Davis." he smiled looking down at her.

"Right this way Mr. Davis. As requested we've set up a romantic table in the corner for you." she smiled looking up at him as she led them to a corner table in the back.

"As requested? Roger, you didn't have to do all this." Keely smiled as Roger held the chair out for her as they approached a table with a candle lit in the middle.

"Yes I did Keel. I want tonight to be extra romantic for you." he smiled leaning down to kiss her before sitting down in his seat. "Thank you." he smiled looking over at the hostess.

"A waiter will be by to take your order." she smiled handing them menus.

"Can we have a bottle of your best sparkling cider please?" he smiled looking over at Keely.

"You're going all out tonight, huh?" she smiled looking over at him.

"Nothing is too good for my girl." he smiled taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

"Um... Roger, how did you find out about this place?" Keely asked looking over across the restaurant.

"There was a business card for it on the desk at the loft. Why?" he asked fixing his tie as he got comfortable in his chair.

"Um... look who's here." she whispered pointing over to the other side of the room.

"Oh my God. When did Collins start dating again? Any why hasn't he introduced us to him yet?" he asked looking over at Collins.

"You know how Collins is. He's reserved." she said looking over at him.

"He looks like he's happy, huh?" he asked as he watched Collins. He was talking to a handsome hispanic man as they held hands.

"Yeah he does. Good for him. He deserves to be happy." she smlied taking Roger's hand in hers.

"I hope he's as happy as I am with you." Roger smiled leaing over to kiss Keely as the waiter came over to take their order.

"Oh my God, what are they doing here?" Collins asked looking across the room seeing Roger and Keely.

"What's the matter Tom?" the handsome brunette asked looking over at him.

"My best friend and his wife are here." he said looking away from them.

"Where?" he asked looking around the restaurant.

"Over there in the corner. You can't miss them. They're the most sickening couple in the room." he laughed quietly watching them hold hands looking at the same menu.

"Oh they're so cute. I thought you said that they were going through a rough time?" he asked looking over at him.

"They were. I guess Keely's finally coming out of it. I've been working so much, I haven't seen much of them lately." he smiled looking over at her.

"Come on. I wanna meet them." he smiled looking over at him before getting up from the table.

"Manny, wait." he called out quietly, but if was too late. "Ay dios mio." he smiled getting up from his chair. The handsome brunette was already half way across the room.

"Um... hi. I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner. I just wanted to come over and introduce myself. I'm Manny. Tom's told me so much about you." he smiled standing at the table in front of them as Collins followed closely behind.

"Hi Manny. It's very nice to meet you, but Tom hasn't told us a thing about you. I wonder why that is." Keely smiled looking up at Collins. "Care to explain big brother?" she taunted looking up at him.

"Yeah, sorry guys. Um... we were taking things slow and with everything going on lately, I didn't know how to tell you guys." he said looking down at them.

"It's OK Collins. We understand. It's very nice to meet you Manny." she smiled getting up to shake Manny's hand.

"It's great to meet you too Keely." he smiled as Roger sat silently smiling up at Collins.

"OK, say something wiseass. I know there's a remark just bouncing around in there somewhere. Let it out. I know you must be dying over there." Collins smirked folding his arms across his chest.

"What remark? There's no remark. It's nice to meet you Manny. Why don't you and Tom join us? We were just enjoying a night out away from the twins." Roger smiled getting up from his seat.

"We'd love to." Manny smiled sitting down in the empty chair. "Tommy, be a dear and get our drinks please. Thanks Baby." he smiled looking up at Collins.

"Yeah, sure." he smiled walking over to the table they just vacated to retrieve their stuff.

"So, how long have you and Tom been dating?" Keely asked looking over at Manny.

"About a month. He told me about you and your daughter. I'm so sorry Keely." he smiled looking over at her.

"It's OK Manny, really. I mean, it is a bit of an adjustment. But Angel has a great chance at living a long and happy life." she smiled looking over at Roger who put his arm around her back.

"That's right Baby. She's gonna be fine." he smiled leaning over to kiss her head.

"So enough about us. Tell us about yourself Manny. Since my wonderful brother has neglected to do so himself." Keely smiled as Tom returned to the table.

"Thanks a lot for not giving me shit about it Babygirl." Collins replied sarcastically.

"Oh Collins, you know I'm only playing with you." she laughed looking up at him.

"Well, I'm a dancer. I'm currently taking courses at NYU. That's how Tom and I met actually. We met on campus." Manny smiled looking over at her.

"Another dancer? Nice going Collins." Roger laughed looking over at him.

"Don't listen to him. That's really nice." she smiled looking over at her.

"So Tom tells me that you're a dancer too. And a singer, a photographer and an amazing guitarist. Is there anything you can't do?" Manny laughed looking over at Keely.

"I grew up being told I could do anything I set my mind to, so I decided to test that theory out. It's not a big deal. I'm a better dancer than anything else. The other things, I just dabble in." she smiled looking over at her.

"Don't be modest Baby. You're amazingly talented." Roger smiled leaning over to kiss Keely's head.

"You're only saying that because you love a guitar playing rock chick who can dance." she smiled looking over him.

"Um... yeah. You know guitar playing dancer chicks turn me on." Roger laughed holding her close.

"Ugh, see what I mean? I told you they were nauseating." Collins mumbled sipping a glass of wine.

"I think it's cute. They're in love." he smiled taking Collins' hand.

"Yeah, sickeningly in love. Trust me, it's not gonna stay cute for long." he chuckled looking over at him.

"You're just jealous." Roger laughed looking over at Collins.

"Not anymore." Collins smiled holding Manny's hand in his.

* * *

"So Collins met someone. That's so nice." Keely smiled looking over at Roger as they walked through the park hand in hand.

"Yeah, it's about time he got some lovin. He hasn't been with anyone since Angel and as you can imagine, that was a long time ago." Roger said looking down at her.

"Well good for him. I'm glad he finally has someone that makes him happy. I like Manny. He's sweet." she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah well, He's a dancer. You would like him." he laughed as Keely looked up at him.

"Hey, I thought you liked the fact that I was a dancer." she laughed shoving him with her hip.

"I do. But I love the fact that you're my wife and the mother of my girls more." he smiled before wrapping his arms around her waist holding her close.

"So what do you have in mind now Mr. Davis?" she smiled looking into his green eyes.

"You'll see." he smiled leaning down to kiss her before leading her back to the limosine.

* * *

"Oh my God. Roger, how can we afford this?" Keely asked looking around the hotel room. There were candles set up all over the place and rose petals on the bed.

"Nothing is too good for my girl." he smiled looking down at her.

"What did you do Roger?" she asked looking up at him confused.

"I didn't do anything." he whined looking down at her.

"So what is all this all about?" she asked looking up at him.

"I have huge news." he smiled looking down at her.

"You're not pregnant, are you? Because if you are..." she joked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"You have been with me way too long." he laughed looking down at her.

"Yeah well, I learned from the best." she laughed leaning up to kiss him.

"No wiseass. We got a record deal. Alienated is making an album." he laughed looking down at her.

"Oh my God, Baby that's big. When? Um... how?" she asked looking up at him.

"Well we've been talking about it for a few weeks, but we just worked things out this afternoon. I didn't want to say anything until all of the ducks were in a row with the record company. A record company exec has been coming in to see us play for a while and he liked what he heard. He wants us to record an album and possibly tour sometime in the future." he smiled looking down at her.

"I am so proud of you Roger. That's great." she called out hugging him tight.

"Not just me. He's been coming to see us for a while now. He wants you to be on the record too." he smiled looking down at her.

"Roger, I have the girls to take care of. I can't be out making records and touring and playing rock chick." she told him letting go of him.

"But Baby, you're the reason he kept coming back. He wanted me to talk to you." he smiled looking down at her.

"I'm a mother now. The rock star dream is gone. Well, for me at least. It's your turn now. You deserve it." she smiled looking up at him.

"But Keel Baby, he's been coming for a while. You're the reason he kept coming back. He said that he loved the way you commanded the audience." he said caressing her face.

"Roger, it was different back then. It was just you and me. But I have our daughters to think about now." she said starting to pace around the hotel room.

"Back then was not so long ago Keel." he smiled looking down at her.

"It seems like a whole other lifetime ago and you know what? That's OK by me. This is about you and the guys now. I'm happy for you, but it's not for me. Not anymore anyway." she smiled looking up at him.

"But Baby, this is as much about you as it is about the rest of us." he pleaded following her.

"My life is being your wife and a mother to our girls now. You do it. Have fun. You deserve it. I think I'll just be the rock star's wife. It's a role I was meant to play." she smiled turning to look up at him.

"Are you sure Baby?" he asked looking down at her.

"Positive. You're the talented one. If you don't do it, I just may divorce you." she laughed wrapping her arms around his neck before pulling him into a long, passionate kiss.

"Oh yeah? Well I wouldn't want that, now would I?" he asked sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her to the rose petal covered bed.

"Yeah, I didn't think so. You need me too much." she giggled looking up into his eyes as he laid her gently on the bed.

"That's right Baby. Without you in my life Keel, I'd be completely lost." he whispered kissing her as they began to make love.

"So since you're gonna be an international rock star, I guess once the hot groupies start flocking to you, I'll be traded in for a younger model, huh?" she joked looking up at him as she lay on his chest.

"Hell no. You're the only woman I ever want. I swear." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Even though I'm not as sexy as I used to be?" she asked looking up at him.

"Who says? Baby, you're the sexiest woman I have ever met." he smiled looking down at her.

"Yeah, but I'm not quite as skinny as I used to be." she said looking down at his chest while playing with his chest hair.

"Keel, you've never been self conscious about your body before, why now?" he asked lifting her chin up to face him.

"Well I also never had problems keeping in shape. It's just... after the girls, I'm having a hard time dropping the last 10 pounds. I feel like a cow." she told him as she sat up in the bed.

"Do you ever think about going back to dancing?" he asked looking up at her.

"Yeah right. With what time? Being a wife and mother of twin girls is time consuming enough. And besides that, I haven't danced in a long time. It would take a lot to get my knee back into shape." she said looking down at him.

"But Baby, you loved dancing and you were great. Fantastic even. I'm sure we can figure something out with the girls. I'll take time off so you can go back to it if you want." he said sitting up next to her.

"How are you gonna take time off Roger? You just got signed to record an album. You're gonna be spending a lot of time in the studio doing that and then touring. Baby, it's just not in the cards right now. And anyway, my knee is probably shot by now.. I neglected it too long." she said looking down at him.

"But I hear Mimi's gonna have a lot of time on her hands." he smirked looking up at her.

"What do you know?" she asked sneering at him.

"Oh nothing. Just something Oliver and I were talking about." he smiled looking up at her.

"You know, don't you?" she smiled looking down at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about woman." he laughed looking up at her.

"You are such a liar." she laughed climbing on top of him.

"OK, so I know. Isn't this great news?" he smiled leaning up to kiss her.

"It'll be great to have another child in the family. But Mimi's scared Roger. Do you blame her?" she asked rolling off of him.

"No, but Baby, what are the chances. Unless she's having twins like us. She has a very good chance of having a negative baby." he said looking down at her.

"Yeah, that's what we thought." she said quietly looking down at his chest.

"Baby..." he started when she interrupted him.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just, Mimi's worried and she's my sister, so of course I'm worried too." she said looking up at him.

"She's lucky to have you. you know." he smiled caressing her face.

"I'm pretty damn lucky too." she smiled leaning up to kiss him.


	59. Chapter 59

"So chica, I hear you're going back to dancing." Mimi smiled looking over at Keely as she dressed Randi.

"My husband has such a big mouth." she laughed looking over at her.

"I've been wondering when you would go back. The girls are almost a year old already." she smiled as Angel played on the coffee table at her feet.

"I've been thinking about it, but I don't know if I can do it Mimi. I'm afraid I've been away too long. Almost 2 years. And my knee. It's gonna be really hard to get back to it.," she said looking over at her.

"Oh stop it chica. you don't lose what you had from not dancing for 2 years. You just need to stretch a little more than you used to, that's all." she smiled looking over at her.

"I know. It's just... I'm afraid with my knee that I'm not gonna be able to dance like I used to." she said putting Randi on the floor next to Angel.

"It'll come back to you. It's like riding a bike." she smiled looking down at the babies.

"Yeah, I guess." she smiled playing with Randi's hair. "Oh my God, I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you. Guess who we saw in the restaurant last night." Keely smiled looking over at her.

"George Clooney." Mimi guessed smiling over at her.

"Yeah right. If George Clooney was at the restaurant last night, Roger would have come home alone." she laughed looking over at her.

"You wish. You know you could never leave Roger for George Clooney and you know it." she laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah, you're right. But anyway, guess who we did see." she smiled looking over at her.

"Who?" Mimi asked looking over at her.

"Collins. With a special friend. A very handsome special friend by the way." she smiled looking over at her.

"Collins was with a guy? You're kidding. Oh my God, you have to tell me everything ." Mimi smiled excitedly looking over at her.

"His name is Manny and he's a dancer. He's taking a course at the college. That's how they met." she smiled looking over at her

"How long have they been together? And why haven't we met him yet?" she asked looking over at her.

"A month, but with everything we've been going through with the baby's diagnosis and everything... he was keeping it under wraps until the time was right." she said looking over at her.

"Well, that was nice of him sweetie." she said looking over at her.

"No, it's really not. I mean, it's typical Collins. Always thinking about everyone else before himself. I swear, that brother of mine is too selfless for his own damn good. I mean, why shouldn't he be happy too? It's not fair to him. None of it is." she said getting up to pace around the living room.

"It's what he's been doing for as long as I know him. You can't expect him to change overnight." she said looking up at her.

"Yeah, but I hate like hell that he felt like he had to do it." she said looking over at her.

"I know chica." she smiled looking over at her.

* * *

"Dammit. Why the fuck is this so hard?" Keely yelled as she lost her balance trying to do a pirouette.

"My guess is, you zigged when you should have zagged." Roger smirked as he leaned against the doorway at the dance school.

"Roger. How long have you been standing there?" she asked looking up at him surprised.

"Long enough to see that my wife's still got it." he smiled looking over at her.

"Don't you mean long enough to see your wife almost fall on her ass? I don't know what made me think I could do this after all this time. My knee is too far gone." she said reaching for her towel to wipe her forehead.

"I seem to remember a beautiful woman with these beautiful blue eyes and a whole lot of piercings convincing me a few years ago that I was still a rock star and now look at me. I'm not only back on stage performing again, but my band. Our band is recording a demo that could very well become an album. I'm still that guy, why can't you still be that girl?" he smiled walking over to her.

"Roger, I'm a wife and mother. I haven't been a dancer for 2 years. Plus my knee..." she started looking up at him.

"Baby, a talent like yours doesn't just fade just because you haven't danced in 2 years." he smiled taking her shoulders.

"You know, has anyone ever told you that you suck?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah, but I didn't mind. She was cute." he laughed leaning down to kiss her before taking her into his arms.

"You think I'm cute?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Mhm." he nodded looking down at her.

"How cute?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Well Mrs Davis, why don't we go in your office and I show you how cute you are?" he smiled sweeping her into his arms.

"You are still the most charming man on the planet." she smiled leaning in to kiss him long and hard.

"And you are still that girl." he whispered carrying her into the back room to make love to her on the couch.

* * *

"Guys, Oli and I have an announcement to make." Mimi smiled as they all sat in the Life Cafe.

"You're getting married?" Maureen smiled looking up at them.

"Maureen, would you let them make the announcement please? Geez, you're like a 4 year old." Allison laughed looking over at her.

"Sorry, you know have no patience." she smiled looking over at her.

"Um... hey. Remember us? The ones with the announcement to make." Mimi laughed looking over at them.

"Oh right. Sorry chica. Go ahead." Maureen laughed looking over at her.

"Thank you. Um... everyone, I'm pregnant. Oliver and I are having a baby." she smiled looking over at them.

"That's wonderful Mimi." Allison smiled looking over at her.

"Congratulations chica." Keely smiled getting up to hug her.

"Oh quit it Keel. We know you knew before anyone did." Collins laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah well, she's my chica." she laughed looking over at him.

"So, what's the plan? You can't teach dance classes for too much longer." Mark asked looking over at her.

"She's gonna take care of the girls while I teach and Roger records his album." Keely smiled looking over at them.

"Roger's recording a what now?" Collins asked in disbelief.

"We got a record deal. I mean, it's only a demo for now, but the producer is sure a big time company will pick us up for distribution and touring." he smiled looking over at them.

"That is incredible. I bet you're happy Keely talked you back onstage, huh?" Allison smiled looking over at them.

"I knew my man was bound for big and amazing things." she smiled reaching up to caress his face.

"Yeah. You always believed in me Keel. I owe you big time." he smiled leaning down to kiss her head.

"I'd say we're even." she smiled looking down at the girls, who were playing with Oliver.


	60. Chapter 60

"Dammit, I hate this shit." Mimi complained coming out of the bathroom at Roger and Keely's.

"Mouth chica. The girls are repeating everything these days. I have enough problems with Roger and his mouth." Keely scolded looking up at her.

"Oh sorry chiquitas. I'm just getting sick of being nauseous all the time." she complained sitting on the couch.

"It's all a part of pregnancy. Remember when I was going through morning sickness? Roger was so scared, but the doctor told him that it was normal." she smiled looking over at her as she watched the girls play with their dolls in the corner of the living room.

"Yeah but, shouldn't I be done with this by now? You were." Mimi asked laying her head on the back of the couch.

"Sweetie, every pregnancy is different. What does your doctor say?" she asked looking over at her.

"He says every pregnancy is different and it's normal." she smiled faintly looking over at her.

"So don't worry so much. Everything is gonna be OK." she smiled looking over at her.

"It's hard not to worry chica. You know that as well as I do that anything can happen." Mimi said lifting her head up.

"And you know as well as I do that worrying only takes up precious time. You have to think positive." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know. It's just hard not to worry." she said beginning to caress her 4 months pregnant belly.

"Well, I'm not worried. You and Oli are gonna have a perfectly healthy little boy and everything is gonna be fine. Except when Roger and Collins gets a hold of him. You do realize that they are gonna corrupt your son like crazy, right?" she laughed looking over at her.

"That's OK. I can handle them. You're just lucky you have little girls." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Oh, you think so? Randi, give that back to Angel right now." she scolded beginning to get up. "I swear, Randi is such a bully." she told her leaning down to take the doll away from Randi and giving it back to Angel. "No Randi. That's Angel's dolly. You have your own. Here. Now play nice." she told her before walking back to the couch. "Maybe having a boy around will level the playing field. Heaven knows Angel needs all the reinforcements she can get." she laughed sitting next to Mimi.

"I have a feeling Randi is gonna bully the two of them. I swear, she's just like Roger." she laughed looking over at the girls.

"Roger isn't a bully." she argued looking over at her.

"Oh no? Look what him and Collins do to Oliver and Marky." Mimi laughed looking over at her.

"Yeah well, that's Roger and Collins for you." Keely laughed sitting back on the couch.

"Yeah, they're like twins." she smiled watching the girls.

"I happen to like that about them." she laughed looking over at her.

* * *

"Randi, if you don't stop bullying your sister, you're gonna get a serious time out. Do you want that?" Roger asked looking down at Randi.

"I told you. She's turning into a little thug." she laughed from the kitchen.

"Yeah well, she's gonna cut that shit out. I'm not gonna have her bullying Angel. She's supposed to be protecting her sister." he said watching the girls closely.

"Roger, it's just a faze. I read somewhere that it's normal for twins. One twin tries to break out and find their own identity. She'll be fine. We just have to allow her to express herself, but show her that there are boundries." she said looking over at him.

"I am not gonna have her pushing her sister around. Randy did it to me when we were little and I don't want Angel going through the same thing." he said looking over at her.

"Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you used to get bullied." she said looking over at him.

"Yeah well, Randy was bigger than me and he used that to his advantage. Believe me. And my parents let it happen. My mom tried to stop him, but my dad kept telling her that I needed to learn how to defend myself" he told her going into the kitchen.

"Roger, she'll grow out of it. You'll see." she said reaching up to caress his arm.

"I hope so." he said looking down at the floor.

"Dinner is almost ready. Why don't you get the girls cleaned up?" she said looking up at him.

"OK." he agreed going into the living room. "Um... Baby." he called out looking over at her.

"What's the matter?" she asked looking over at him.

"You're doing an amazing job with the girls." he smiled looking over at her.

"You're not doing too bad yourself." she smiled beginning to set out dinner.

* * *

"Thank you so much Allie. I really appreciate you looking after the girls for me while I get some dance time in at the studio. Roger should be home in about an hour. He's just running a little late." Keely smiled picking up her dance bag.

"Don't mention it sweetie. I love spending time with my girls." she smiled looking up at her from the floor where she was playing with the babies.

"I have a feeling you're not gonna be so thrilled after you witness Randi's bullying." she laughed looking over at her.

"It'll be OK Keel. I can handle her. Remember, I'm used to standing up to Roger and Collins when they're bullying Oli and Marky." she laughed looking up at her.

"It's frustrating really. I don't know what to do with her these days." she said putting her bag over her shoulder.

"Sweetie, you could use a break. Why don't you call Roger and have him meet you at the dance studio and you guys go out for dinner? I'll take care of the girls for as long as you need." she offered looking up at her.

"Do you mean it Allie? It's been forever since we've been out just me and Roger." she smiled looking down at her.

"Of course I mean it Keel. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't. Mark's editing some material and Collins is with Manny. I'd love to stay with the girls." she smiled looking up at her.

"You are the best friend ever Allie. Thank you so much." she smiled kneeling down to hug her.

"Yeah yeah. You're just saying that because I'm giving you a break from your twin toddlers for the night." she laughed hugging her back.

"At this point, that's all it takes for me." she laughed. "We'll try not to be too late. I promise." she smiled getting up from the floor.

"No problem Keel. Stay out as late as you guys want." she smiled looking up at her.

"I love you sweetie." she smiled before leaving the apartment.

"I love you too." she laughed getting back to playing with the girls.

* * *

As Keely entered the recording studio, she smiled as Roger laid down some tracks for the band's latest album. "Hey Baby." he smiled catching a glimpse of his beautiful wife standing in the control room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just wanted to stop by and see you before heading to the studio." she smiled looking down at the producer, who didn't look happy.

"No, it's cool. I could use a break anyway. Take five?" he asked looking over at the producer.

"Yeah, sure Roger. But not too long. We lose the studio in an hour." he sighed looking up at Roger.

"No problem Frank. This'll only take a minute." he smiled taking his headphones off and leaving the room. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked sweeping his wife into his arms.

"Well, Allie is with the girls and she volunteered to watch them so we can have a nice, quiet night out together. Away from fighting twins. Away from picking up toys. Away from dirty diapers. How does that sound to you big boy?" she smiled seductively looking up at him.

"That sounds like the reason why Allie is my favorite in this family." he laughed leaning down to kiss her.

"Mine too." she laughed kissing him back. "So, are you in?" she asked looking up at him.

"Do I look stupid to you? Of course I'm in. When do we leave?" he asked looking down at her.

"How about I let you get back to laying down tracks before your producer starts referring to me as Yoko? I was gonna go to the studio and get some dance time in and you meet me at the studio when you're done and we go do something." she smiled reaching up to caress his cheek.

"Great idea Baby. I'll see you in like an hour or so and then we can do whatever you want." she smiled looking down at her.

"OK. I'll see you in an hour. I love you." she smiled looking up at him.

"I love you too Baby." he smiled kissing her before letting her go as she left the studio.

"Can we get back to recording Roger?" the producer asked looking over at him.

"Yeah Frank. We can get back to recording." he smiled going in to lay down more tracks.


	61. Chapter 61

9-11-01

It's 3 years later. The girls are nearly 4 years old and Mimi and Oliver's son Colin Angelis O'Reilly is 3. Oliver and Roger are working on the bands second album and Keely is teaching the girls dance at hers and Mimi's dance school. The Davis family is getting ready to start their day.

"Roger, where are Randi's tights? They're not in the laundry bag. Didn't you wash them?" Keely asked searching the blue laundry bag.

"I gave them to her last night. She was nagging me for them." he said coming out of the bedroom.

"What did she want them for last night?" she asked looking over at him.

"Got me. She's a 4 year old girl. I don't ask any questions." he smiled going into the kitchen for his coffee.

"Roger, you have to ask questions. Last time she tore them up and made dresses for her dolls. Or at least she thought she made dresses for her dolls." she told him frustrated.

"She's creative. Give her a break." he smiled bringing the coffee cup to his lips.

"Well, I'm not buying her new tights every week." she argued before they heard a loud crash. "What the hell was that?" she asked as Roger set down his coffee cup.

"Check on the girls." Roger said rushing to the window to see where the noise came from.

"Roger, what is it?" she asked looking over at him.

"Keel please. Check on the girls." he insisted looking out the window.

"Are you girls OK?" she asked looking over at them.

"Yeah mommy. What was that loud noise?" Angel asked looking up at her.

"I don't know. You girls stay in here until me and daddy tell you to come out, OK?" she said backing out of the girls room before shutting the door. "They're OK. What was that?" she asked looking up at him.

"It's not good Keel." he told her quietly looking out the window as she rushed to the window to look at what he was looking at.

"Oh my God. What is that?" she asked looking up at the World Trade Center. There seemed to be a plane sticking out of one of the buildings.

"I don't know, but I don't think we should go out anywhere today. I don't like this Keel." he said looking down at her.

"Roger, me and the girls have a 10 o'clock dance class and then Angel has a doctors appointment. It's probably nothing." she said walking away from the window.

"Keel, can you please just listen to me this one time? I don't think it's a good idea that we go out today." he argued looking over at her.

"Roger, what are you so afraid of?" she asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. No one can accidentally fly a plane into the World Trade Center. LaGuardia and JFK are in Queens. There's no way to accidentally ram a plane into the towers. Someone did it intentionally." he said looking over at her.

"What, like a terrorist attack or a hijacking or something?" she asked looking over at him.

"It's possible Keel. I mean they're doing it all over the world. Why not New York too?" he argued looking over at her.

"Roger, that's insane. I mean, this is The United States. Bosnia and Afghanistan is one thing, but The United States? Come on." she said looking over at him.

"I don't know Keel. I'm just saying that I'm not comfortable bringing the girls out today. At least until we know more about what's going on." he said going over to the television.

"What are you doing now?" she asked looking over at him.

"Turning on the news Keel. They have to be saying something about this shit going on. I mean, it's New York City. It's not like no one's gonna notice." he argued looking over at her.

"Do you really think it's a terrorist attack?" she asked quietly walking over to him.

"I don't know Keel." he said looking down at her before wrapping his arms around her to hold her close as they watched the news.

"They don't know anything. That's good, right? I mean, if it were a terrorist attack someone would have called in to claim responsibility, wouldn't they have?" she asked looking over at him.

"I don't know Keel." he said quietly as they watched the television intently. As they watched they heard a strange sound from outside. Before they knew what was going on they watched another airplane strike the untouched building of the World Trade Center.

"Oh my God. What the hell is going on out there?" she asked staring at the television as tears filled her eyes.

"I'm calling Mark and Allie. Call Mimi and Oliver from your cell phone." he said going towards to the phone in the corner of the apartment.

"All circuits are busy. Maybe the cell towers are down." she said looking over at him.

"Hang on. I'm getting ringing at the loft." he said holding the phone to his ear. "Mark. Do you guys see what's going on outside?... Yeah, that's what I think... Just stay inside and we'll meet up in a little while... Yeah, the girls are fine. They're in their room... OK... No, Keel's phone's not working right now... I don't know, something about all circuits being busy... Yeah, that's what she said... I'm gonna call them now... OK talk to you soon... bye." he said hanging up the phone before calling Oliver and Mimi.

"Are they OK?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, they're fine. I'm gonna call Oliver and Mimi." he said holding the phone to his ear. "Mimi, where's Oliver?" he asked as soon as she answered the phone. "What do you man he's out? Out where?... Um, didn't you see what's going on outside?... Why the hell would he go outside with all this going shit on?... Um... did you talk to Collins and Manny?... OK good... I called Mark and Allie and then you guys. Where's Colin?... OK. I'll go try to find Oliver, just you and Colin stay where you are... I'll be fine, I'll see you soon... OK bye." he said looking over at Keely.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" she asked looking over at him.

"Oliver went out after he heard the first plane hit and Mimi doesn't know where he went. I have to find him." he said looking over at her.

"You're not going anywhere. We don't know what's going on out there. I think you should stay home with us. Your family." she yelled looking over at him.

"Keel, Oliver's got a family too. If he's out there, he could be in danger." he told her rushing to get his boots on.

"But Roger, what about you? You could be in danger too. Car bombs, suicide bombers, bio terrorism. Roger, we don't know what or who we're dealing with." she yelled holding back tears.

"Baby, I'll be careful. I have to find Oliver. I'll be home as soon as I can. I love you." he said going over to kiss Keely.

"Roger, please don't go. I don't want you to go." she pleaded crying as she looked up at him.

"I have to go Baby. I'll be home as soon as I can." he smiled kissing her head. "I'll have my cell just in case it starts working again." he whispered looking down at her.

"I love you Roger." she cried looking up into his green eyes.

"I love you too Keel. Keep the girls close, OK? And turn off the tv. The girls shouldn't see this shit. It'll only scare them." he said looking down at her before walking out of the apartment.

"Mommy, are we going to dance know?" Angel asked rushing out of her room as Keely quickly turned off the television set.

"No sweetie. Um... we're gonna stay home today." she said walking into the kitchen casually wiping her eyes.

"Where did daddy go?" Randi asked following her.

"He went to see Uncle Oliver. He'll be back soon, OK sweetie?" she smiled looking over at her girls.

"Can we go see Colin?" Angel asked looking over at her.

"Later sweetheart. Why don't you and your sister go and play with your dolls for a little while? I'll call you when daddy gets home, OK?" she said feigning a smile.

"Are you OK mommy?" Angel asked looking over at her.

"I'm fine sweetheart. Um... why don't you two just go play nice OK?" she said looking over at her.

"Why were you and daddy yelling at each other?" Randi asked looking over at her.

"We weren't yelling at each other sweetie. We were just talking loud. Everything is OK, I promise." she lied trying to be positive.

"But daddy was saying bad words." Randi said looking over at her.

"He was just frustrated over something. I promise, he's not mad at me or you girls, OK?" Keely told her reassuringly.

"OK mommy." Angel said rushing into her bedroom with Randi.

* * *

"Oliver man, what the hell are you doing?" Roger asked standing next to Oliver who was standing on the corner of Avenue A and 11th Street looking up at the towers of the World Trade Center, which were now smoking from fires that had ignited due to the jet fuel from the 747's.

"Look at that shit man. Our kids are never gonna know the world the same way again. Those fuckers took that from them." he said still looking up at the buildings.

"I know man. You should be home. Your wife is waiting for you, scared." he said looking over at him.

"I couldn't just watch it on tv, you know? I had to see it for myself." he said looking over at Roger.

"Yeah, I know. It's un fucking real, huh?" he asked looking over at him.

"What has the world come to?" he asked looking over at Roger.

"I don't know man. I don't know." he answered looking up at the horror that was unfolding in front of them.

"How's Keel and the girls?" he asked looking over at him.

"OK. I mean, the girls don't know what's going on, but Keel's scared to death. She didn't even want me to leave the apartment." he said looking over at him.

"Why don't you go home? My cousin'll kick my ass if anything happens to you while you were out looking for me." he said looking over at him.

"Yeah well your wife'll have my ass if I don't send you home. Kind of pathetic, huh? Us bad ass rockers afraid of a couple of women barely over 5 feet tall." Roger laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah well, they're our lives man. They gave us our lives back. Without them, we'd have nothing. Even I know that." Oliver smiled looking over at him.

"Yeah they did. I'm gonna get home, but we'll all meet up later when they get this shit under control." Roger said looking over at him.

"Good idea. I don't want to worry Mimi anymore than I already have. I'll see you later man." Oliver smiled patting Roger's back just as they heard a loud rumbling.

"What the fuck is that?" Roger asked as the men directed their attention to the World Trade Center. One of the buildings began to fall in a cloud of dust.

"Oh shit. We better get home." Oliver said rushing towards his apartment as Roger ran around the corner to his and Keely's apartment.

"Keel. Keel, are you here?" Roger called out as he entered the apartment.

"It fell. Roger, it fell down." she cried quietly sitting on the floor in the corner of the kitchen.

"I know Baby. Oliver and I saw it. He was standing outside the loft just staring at it and then it started to fall." he rambled holding her close.

"How could it fall? It was a huge building." she cried looking up at him.

"I don't know Keel. I just don't know." he whispered holding back his own tears.

"And all of those people. Those innocent people. All they did was go to work to support themselves and their families and now thousands and thousands of them are probably trapped or dead. All for nothing." she cried as he held her close.

"It's OK Baby. Let it out. Just let it out." he whispered kissing her head.

"Oh my God Roger. What kind of world do we live in?" she cried into his chest.

"A fucked up one Baby. A real fucked up world." he whispered caressing her hair.

* * *

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it." Collins said quietly shaking his head as they sat in the loft.

"Man, this is some fucked up shit. In those Middle Eastern countries you'd expect that, but here? We're in New York friggin City. Who the hell runs airplanes into buildings in New York friggin City?" Oliver asked looking over at them.

"I don't know, but this is not the world I wanted to bring children into. This is not the same world it was." Roger said pacing around the loft.

"HIV is one thing. We can somewhat control that, but suicide bombers? We can't control these crazy freaks." Keely said looking up at him.

"They're both gone. Yesterday there were two buildings standing out there and now they're both gone. I can't believe it." Maureen said as she and Manny sat on the window seat.

"Thousands of people dead. They never had a chance. People like us. People with families just trying to make a living, dead. How could that be?" Allison said looking up at everyone.

"They won't have a definite number for a while. Too many damn people." Mark said looking over at everyone.

"I don't even know if I want to know how many people. I mean, too many sad stories." Mimi said looking over him.

"All I know is that there are a lot of families that are incomplete tonight because a couple of maniacs decided that some stupid religion is more important than American's lives." Roger ranted looking over at them.

"Baby, calm down. You're gonna make the kids come out and they shouldn't know anything about this. They're too young to understand what's going on." Keely said getting up from the couch.

"None of us understand what's going on Baby. None of this makes any sense. All I know is that there used to be two buildings right over there and now they're gone." he said looking over at her.

"And thankfully the kids aren't gonna realize that anything is different and thankfully they're not gonna realize what it all means for their future." she said looking up at him.

"I know Baby. But we'll know." he said wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

"How? How did this beautiful day turn into the day that changed that world as we knew it forever?" she asked looking up at him.

"It's the world we live in Babygirl." Collins said looking over at her.

"Yeah well, I'm with Roger. This is not the world I wanted to bring children into. It just changed over night. Last night when I tucked my girls into bed, this was still a safe world. The only worry we had was HIV and AIDS. Now we have suicide bombers ramming planes into buildings and those buildings falling down right in front of us." she cried looking over at him.

"Yeah, imagine that. HIV and AIDS not being the worst thing we have to worry about. That's a switch." Allison said smiling faintly.

"Get used to it. I have a feeling it's gonna be like that for a long time." Mark said putting his arm around Allison who was leaning into him.

* * *

3 days later

"Keel, we have to leave the house and get on with our lives sooner or later." Roger said as Keely sat on the bedroom floor going through the closet.

"I'm not ready to take the girls out yet Roger. It's too soon." she said looking up at him.

"Keel, they're getting restless being in the house all the time. They need to get back to normal." he said sitting on the edge of the bed.

"How do we know it's safe? I mean, they could send more people to hit the Empire State Building or releasing nerve gas in the subway or something." she said turning around to face him.

"It's safe Keel. They're not coming back." he said moving to kneel in front of her.

"But what if they do? If anything happened to you or the girls... I couldn't handle it." she said looking up into his green eyes as tears brimmed blue ones.

"Nothing will happen Baby. If you keep yourself holed up in this apartment all the time, they win. HIV and AIDS isn't gonna beat us and I'll be damned if I let some crazy pricks from another country beat us." he said lifting his hands up to caress her face.

"But Roger, HIV and AIDS we can see. We can control it somehow. These people we can't. They're ghosts. Don't you get it Baby. These people are invisible. Until it's too late." she cried looking into his green eyes.

"Baby, I've been trying to protect you since we met and I think I've been doing a great job so far. Setting aside Angel's diagnosis, but this I can't protect you from. Seeing you like this is killing me. The last thing I want is for you to be scared of anything." he said looking down at her.

"You always made me feel safe Roger. But this, not even you can protect us from." she said looking up at him.

"I always want to make you feel safe Keel. You're my life. You and those girls. Without you I wouldn't have a life. I don't want to ever lose you girls. If I can't protect you, I'm afraid I could lose you and I don't think I can handle it. I know I can't handle it." he said looking over at her.

"I love you so much Roger. You know that, right?" she said looking up at him.

"I've always known." he smiled leaning in to kiss her.

"Um... do you want to come to the dance school with me or do you have to get to the recording studio?" she asked looking up at him.

"I could take a day of watching my girls dance around the studio." he smiled looking down at her.

"I'll get the girls ready." she smiled softly looking up into his eyes.

"OK. I'll just take a nap. I know how long that can take." he laughed looking into her blue eyes.

"Very funny. You know, you can make yourself useful and help me." she laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, see I learned a long time ago that I live with 3 divas. I just sit back and wait patiently as you 3 do your thing." he laughed leaning in to kiss her.

"You are a chicken shit Davis." she laughed standing up onto her knees throwing her arms around his neck.

"When it comes to my girls, yep." he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist and sweeping her close to him.

"Mmm, thank you Roger. You've always been right here for me." she whispered leaning in to kiss him.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." he whispered holding her close to him.

* * *

"Mommy, where did the buildings that were over there go?" Angel asked looking up at Keely as they walked to the dance school.

"Um... they took them down sweetie." Keely answered looking down at her.

"Why did they take them down? Are they gonna build a park or something?" she asked looking up at her.

"No Angel baby. A couple of bad men didn't like the way they looked so they made them fall down. But their gonna build new buildings that are gonna be bigger and better then the ones that were there before." Roger said looking down at her.

"Why did the bad men do that daddy?" Randi asked looking up at him.

"Because they were jealous of us. You see, we live in America and we have freedom and the bad men come from a country where they have no freedoms. They wanted to scare us and make us feel like we had no freedom, but they're not gonna scare us. We're always gonna be free to do and believe whatever we want. Not like in those other countries." he explained stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Mommy's scared. So it worked, right?" Randi said looking up at him.

"No sweetheart, it didn't work. I'm not scared. At least not anymore." she smiled looking up at Roger.

"Why aren't you scared? Aren't you afraid that they're gonna come back and hurt us?" Angel asked looking up at her.

"They're not gonna come back and hurt us sweetie. We just have to go on with our lives and show them that they can't make us scared." she smiled looking down at her.

"Because daddy's gonna protect us. Right daddy?" Randi asked looking up at Roger.

"I'm gonna try really hard to my girl" he smiled looking down at her.

A/N: I'm sorry, I had to write a 9-11 chapter. It was a reality and I couldn't pass right by it. I lived in Queens at the time of 9-11 and it was frightening for us New Yorkers. My husband works in Manhattan and he left work as soon as the first plane hit. He was on one of the last trains out of the city. I heard on the radio that a reporter heard a bomb go off in the subway, but it was nothing. At the time though I was scared to death. The next day without my knowledge he went down to what has become known as Ground Zero to help with the search and rescue efforts. That was before the city and the unions got into it. It was horrifying. I just wanted to address that horrible day in the eyes of our bohemians.

Renthead621


	62. Chapter 62

7 years later. The girls are 11 years old and coming into their own. They still live in Keely's apartment in the East Village. Roger has been recording albums and touring, but only for a few months at a time. He doesn't want to be away from his girls for too long. He still performs at the bar occasionally for fun. He also tends bar occasionally for fun too. He can't seem to leave the place where he met the love of his life.

"Come on Randi, we have to go sweetie." Keely called out rushing around the apartment as Angel sat patiently on the couch.

"Why couldn't I go with daddy? I wanna watch him rehearse." she complained walking over to the couch before plopping next to her sister.

"Randi, why can't you just get ready for dance and stop whining?" Angel asked looking over at her.

"No Angel, it's OK. Randi honey, if you don't want to go to dance you don't have to go. It's OK." Keely said sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"Really?" she asked looking up at her.

"Yes sweetie, of course. You shouldn't go if you don't feel like it. Maybe we can stop by the studio and see how daddy feels about spending the day with one of his favorite girls." she smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks mom. You're the best." Randi smiled leaning over to hug Keely.

"I try." she laughed hugging her tight.

"Come on mom. We're gonna be late." Angel complained looking over at her.

"OK my sweetie. Let's go." she smiled looking over at Angel before they left the apartment.

"Mom, can we all go out to eat after dance class? Just you, me, Angel and daddy?" Randi asked looking up at Keely as they walked towards the studio which was located around the corner from the dance school.

"I don't see why not. But we're not going for junk food, so forget it." she smiled looking down at her.

"OK mom. Thanks." she smiled looking up at her as they approached the studio.

"Knock knock. Is anyone here?" Keely called out as she opened the door.

"Hey, my girls are here. Don't you girls have a dance class to go to?" he asked looking down at them.

"Yeah, about that. Randi was thinking maybe she could spend the day with you while me and Angel go to our class." Keely smiled looking up at Roger.

"What's the matter princess? You're not in a mood for dance class with your mom and Angel today?" Roger asked looking down at Randi.

"Not really. Can I hang out with you today daddy? Please." she asked looking up at him.

"Of course you can. I would love to spend the day with my girl." he smiled wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Thank you daddy." she smiled hugging him.

"We'll be back after class. Randi wanted us to go out to dinner. Just the four of us." Keely smiled looking up at Roger.

"Sounds like fun. How about since Randi came up with the idea, we let Angel pick out where we eat?" Roger smiled looking down at Angel.

"OK daddy. We'll see you later." she smiled looking up at him. "Come on mom, we gotta go."

"Right. We'll see you later Baby. I love you." Keely smiled leaning over to kiss Roger before leaning down to kiss Randi. "Be good for your dad, OK? Don't touch any buttons." she smiled looking down at her daughter.

"I will mom. I promise. Thanks for being so cool about this." she smiled looking over at her.

"No problem sweetie." she smiled before she and Angel left the studio.

"So, do you want to tell me what this is all about, or do I have to drag it out of you?" he smiled looking down at Randi.

"I just don't want to take dance classes anymore. It's more a mom and Angel thing anyway." she said looking up at him.

"Why don't you come over and sit down with me?" he smiled taking her hand and leading her to a couple of chairs in the corner.

"Daddy, I'm OK. I just don't feel like taking dance classes anymore." she insisted looking up at him.

"Why don't you want to take dance class anymore?" he asked looking over at her.

"I'm not as good as mom and Angel are." she said looking down at the table.

"That's why you take dance class silly girl. To get better." he smiled looking down at her.

"But I'm not really into dancing like they are. I actually wanna sing and play guitar like you. Will you teach me?" she asked looking up at him.

"If you want me to, of course I will. But did you know that your mom plays guitar and sings too?" he asked looking down at her.

"Aunt Maureen told me something like that. How come she doesn't do it anymore?" she asked looking up at him.

"Because when she was pregnant with you girls, she gave it up to be a mother to you and your sister. She only went back to teaching her dance classes because it's always been her one true passion. Teaching little girls to be prima ballerinas like her." he smiled looking down at her.

"Do you think mom will be mad if I tell her I want to play guitar and sing like you?" she asked looking up at him.

"Of course not princess. She loves you no matter what. If dancing doesn't make you happy, you shouldn't dance. She only wants you and your sister to be happy." he smiled looking down at her.

"But Angel totally loves dancing with mom. Sometimes I feel like her and mom have this club and I'm not part of it, you know?" she said looking up at him.

"You know, that's not true Randi. Mom loves you and Angel equally. You don't have to like all the same things mom likes for her to love you. She loves you just the way you are. No matter what." he smiled reaching over to caress her cheek.

"Thanks daddy. You're really cool, you know?" she smiled leaning over to hug him.

"Yeah, that's what they tell me." he laughed hugging her close.

"Hey Davis, are you done playing Dear Abby? We have a rehearsal to get back to." Danny laughed looking down at him.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming. Are you gonna be OK in here by yourself?" he asked looking down at the 12 year old.

"Sure dad. I'll be fine. I'm yours and mom kid. Of course I'll be OK." she smiled looking up at him before letting him go back on stage and finish rehearsing.

* * *

"Mom, how come Randi didn't want to go to dance class with us?" Angel asked as she and Keely walked towards the bar.

"I don't know sweetie. Maybe she doesn't want to take dance class anymore. I had a feeling that her heart hasn't been in it for a while." she said looking down at her.

"How come? Dancing is awesome and fun." she smiled looking up at her.

"Not to everyone sweetie. If your sister doesn't want to take dance class anymore, that's her choice., she doesn't have to. As long as she's happy, that's all I care about. Just like you. If you ever want to quit dance class, I'll understand. I only want you to be happy." she smiled squeezing her hand.

"Thanks mom, but I love dance class. I always wanted to be a prima ballerina like you." she smiled looking up at her.

"No, you're gonna be a prima ballerina like you. You are a great dancer Angel." she smiled looking down at her.

"Just like my mom." she smiled looking up at her before Keely opened the door to the bar.

* * *

"Keel, I need to talk to you about something." Roger said getting ready for bed.

"What's the matter Baby?" she asked looking up from her book as she sat in bed.

"Randi and I had a little talk today. She wants to quit dance class and she wants me to start teaching her how to play guitar." he said looking down at her.

"I had a feeling that's what today was about." she smiled taking her glasses off.

"Yeah, she wasn't sure how to tell you. She was afraid you would be mad." he said sitting on the bed.

"Of course I'm not mad. Baby, I only want her to be happy. If singing and playing guitar makes her happy, who am I to stop her? It made me happy about a million years ago." she laughed looking up at him.

"Not quite a million years ago." he smiled leaning closer to her.

"It might as well be. I haven't been on stage in over 7 years." she smiled looking over at him.

"That was your choice Keel. You can be again, you know?" he smiled looking over at her.

"Nah, I made my choice and I'm happy with with it. And now that Randi is 12 years old, she has to make hers. A decision that I hope makes her happy. That's all I ever wanted for them." she smiled looking over at him.

"I know Baby. When Randi tells you, just make sure she knows you're not disappointed in her for quitting dance." he smiled looking over at her.

"No problem Baby. I'm proud of her actually. I mean, she didn't continue taking the classes just to make me happy. She had the guts to stand up for what make her happy. She's definitely your daughter." she smiled looking up at him.

"No way Keel. She's all you. Gutsy. talented, beautiful. Those are the qualities I love most about you." he smiled leaning over to kiss her.

"Oh yeah? And the fact that you can still use your charm on me for anything has nothing to do with it, huh?" she giggled looking into his green eyes.

"And maybe that too." he laughed picking up the book she had been reading and tossing it aside before laying her down on the bed to make love to her.

* * *

"_And I'm the only one who'll walk across the fire for you. It's only fear that makes you run and the demons that you're hiding from. When all your promises are gone. I'm the only one. Yeah._" Keely sung holding the guitar on her lap in the living room as Randi and Angel came out of their room to see where the singing was coming from.

"Mom, that was so cool." Randi smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah, it's been a while since I've done that. But your dad used to love when I did that song." she smiled still strumming the guitar.

"I can see why. How come you don't sing with daddy anymore?" Angel smiled sitting next to her.

"I don't know. I stopped when I got pregnant with you girls and just never felt like going back. Dancing was always my first love anyway. Other you girls and your dad." she smiled looking over at them.

"Mom, I asked daddy if he could teach me how to play guitar and sing and he said he would, so I'm gonna quit dance class." Randi said looking up at Keely.

"I know sweetie. Daddy told me. You know, I never wanted you to keep taking dance classes if you didn't like it. I just want you to be happy." she smiled looking down at her.

"I know, but you and Angel were taking it and I wanted to spend time with you guys, but I'm not as good as you guys are." she said looking up at her.

"I only put you guys in dance class because I remember how much I liked it when I was a little girl. If you didn't like it, you should have told me sooner Randi. I'm not mad at you. I love you. I could never be mad at you for following your dreams." he smiled looking down at her.

"Really?" the 12 year old asked looking up at her.

"Yeah really. Actually, I'm pretty proud of you. It's not easy to choose follow in your daddy's footsteps. But I guess I should have have figured, being mine and your fathers daughter would give you a pre disposition for taking chances." she smiled looking down at her.

"What does that mean mom?" she asked confused.

"It means that no matter what you want to do in life me and daddy will always be very proud of you. Both of you." she laughed looking down at her daughters.

"Thanks mom." Angel smiled looking up at her.

"No problem sweetie. Anything for my girls." she smiled looking down at her before starting to play her guitar again.

"Mmm, now that's a sight I haven't seen in quite a few years." Roger smiled entering the apartment.

"Don't get used to it tiger." she laughed looking up at him.

"Mom's been playing guitar for us. Come on daddy." Angel called out rushing over to take his hand and lead him to the couch.

"I love when mom plays her guitar." he smiled sitting between his daughters.

"Yeah, don't get used to it. I have a feeling I'm gonna be passing it down to Randi." she smiled looking down at Randi.

"Baby, you can come back if you want, I've been asking you to come back since the girls were born." he smiled looking over at her.

"I don't think I belong up there anymore. I belong with my girls." she smiled taking the guitar off of her lap and leaning it against the arm of the couch.

"You always belonged up there Keel. Don't ever think otherwise." he smiled lifting Angel off of his lap before getting up to lean over to kiss Keely's head.

"Do you really think I can do it?" she asked looking down at Randi.

"Why not mom? Daddy said you were really awesome." she smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, daddy's only saying that because he likes rock chics who play guitar." she laughed looking back at Roger.

"Yeah well, you know you were always my weakness. Especially when you're holding that guitar." he laughed looking over at her.

"Eww, um... come on Randi. I think mom and dad are about to get gross." Angel laughed looking over at her sister.

"I think it's cute when mom and dad get gross." she smiled looking over at them.

"Thank you Randi Lynn Davis." Keely laughed looking over at her daughters.


	63. Chapter 63

"Daddy, are you, mom and Angel sick?" she asked coming out of her room.

"What?" he asked taking a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

"Dad, I'm not stupid. I see you and mom taking medicine and I see Angel taking extra vitamins. And I heard Uncle Mark and Aunt Allie talking one time when you and mom took Angel to the doctor about who's gonna take care of me when all of this is over. When all of what is over?" she asked taking a bottle of water from him.

"I wish your Aunt and Uncle would stop talking when you're around." he said opening his water and taking a long swig.

"Why won't you tell me dad?" she asked looking up at him.

"It's really not something we should talk about without your mom here..." he started when Randi interrupted him.

"Dad, why can't you tell me now? I"m not a baby anymore." she asked as tears filled her eyes.

"Randi, why don't you sit down?" he asked looking over at her.

"Daddy, please tell me." she asked looking up at him.

"Your mom, Angel and I have what's called HIV." he told her quietly sitting next to her on the couch.

"The virus that causes AIDS. I know what that is dad. We heard about it in school. Does Angel know?" she asked looking up at him with tears flooding her young eyes.

"No. Your mom and I decided that we'd wait until you girls were older to tell you. Angel just thinks that she has a blood condition that requires her to take extra vitamins in the morning." he said quietly taking his daughters hand.

"How could you guys lie to her like that daddy? She trusts you. She should know." she cried looking up at him.

"We didn't know how to tell her. She was little. We didn't know how to explain it to her." he said looking down at the floor.

"How did you guys get it?" she asked as Roger closed his eyes tight and looked down. It was the one question he never wanted his daughter to ask him.

"I was really stupid. I had a girlfriend when I was younger, years before I met your mom. We got into some stupid stuff and we got HIV." he whispered avoiding his daughters gaze.

"You shot drugs?" she asked as his head shot up looking at her. "Yeah dad, I know how you get it. That's what they told us in health class. Either you get it from needles, having sex with an infected partner or infected blood." she told him surprising him.

"Yeah, um... yeah, we shot drugs. It was stupid. I was a stupid kid." he said looking over at her.

"What about mom and Angel? How did they get it?" she asked wiping her eyes.

"Mom got it before we met and Angel got it when she was born. When mom was pregnant with you and Angel she took medicine so you two wouldn't get it. Unfortunately, you were the only one who didn't get it." he told her holding back tears.

"Daddy, are you guys gonna die?" she asked. Her voice quivered to keep from crying.

"Eventually we are, yeah. But not for a while. Your mom, Angel and I are taking medicine to help us stay healthy." he told her reaching over to her.

"Am I gonna live with Uncle Mark and Aunt Allie when you guys die?" she asked crying now.

"You don't need to worry about that anytime soon. We're doing everything we can to make sure of that." he said taking her into his arms. His own tears overflowing from his eyes.

"How can you daddy?" she cried into his chest.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so, so sorry. I never want you to hurt like this." he cried holding his daughter while caressing her long blond hair. After a while, Randi cried herself to sleep on Roger's chest. He repeatedly kissed her head holding his daughter close. Regret began to flood through him. He regretted joining April in shooting heroin. He regretted everything in his life that led up to this day. He regretted hurting his young daughter with his own stupid mistakes. Before long Randi had cried herself to sleep. He carried his daughter into her room and put her on her bed before going back out to the living room. When Keely and Angel got home from the dance studio, Roger was gripping a couch pillow crying silently into it.

"Roger, what happened?" Keely asked dropping her bag at the door.

"It's not good Keel. It's all my fault." he cried not looking up at her.

"What happened? Where's Randi?" she asked getting scared.

"Nothing happened to Randi, Keel. She's fine. Physically." he told her sniffling.

"Um... Angel, why don't you go in your room and check on your sister? I need to talk to your dad." Keely said with her arm around Angel's shoulder.

"But mom..." she started looking over at her.

"Angel please. Go check on your sister." she insisted looking into her daughters blue eyes.

"Um... OK mom." she said looking up at her reluctantly before going to her room.

"Roger, what happened?" Keely said going over to Roger on the couch.

"Randi knows." he said looking up at her.

"What do you mean she knows? What exactly does she know Roger?" Keely asked sitting next to him.

"Randi... she uh... she asked. I had to tell her. I had no choice." he cried leaning on Keely's shoulder.

"What did you have to tell her Roger?" she asked hoping he didn't mean what she thought he meant.

"About us and Angel. She heard Mark and Alison talking at the loft one day about what's gonna happen to her when we're gone and she asked me what they meant... I had to tell her." he cried wiping his eyes.

"You told her? Roger, I thought we agreed to wait until they were in high school to tell them." she asked looking over at him in disbelief.

"I had to Keel. She already knew something was up. What was I supposed to do? Lie to her? We've been lying to them their whole lives." he said watching her get off of the couch.

"Not lie to her Roger, but we agreed to tell them together when they were old enough to realize what all of it meant." she told him pacing around the living room.

"Keel, she realizes what it all means. She's learning about HIV in her health class. She knows how you get it and that there is a good chance the medicine we're taking isn't gonna keep us alive for long." he said getting up to go to her.

"Shouldn't that have been for the two of us to decide together, rather than you going off alone and talking to her behind my back." she yelled looking up at him.

"I did not decide to talk to her behind your back. I was cornered and the only thing I could do was just tell her the truth. None of it was easy for me. Trust me. The way she looked at me when I told her how I got it... the look in her innocent little eyes is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. Having my daughter know that I screwed everything up for a few shots of that shit." he yelled looking down at her, his eyes red and overflowing with more tears.

"We need to tell Angel." she whispered looking up at him.

"She doesn't blame you, you know? She knows you did everything you could to protect them." he said looking down at her.

"Um... we need to tell her Roger. Before Randi does. They're probably talking about what we're arguing about right now. We need to make sure Angel knows that we did everything we could do to protect her, but it wasn't enough." she insisted looking over at the twins' bedroom door which was closed.

"OK Keel. Let's go in and tell her now." he said wrapping his arms around her and walking towards the bedroom.

"Mom, dad why were you guys fighting?" Angel asked as Randi sat looking through a magazine, pretending not to know what's going on.

"Angel, we need to talk to you about something and it's really important, so we need you to listen and not interrupt, OK?" Keely asked sitting next to the preteen on the bed.

"OK mom. But you're really scaring me." she said looking up at her mother and father.

"Randi honey, why don't you come over here, OK?" Keely said reaching her arm out to her other daughter.

"OK mom." she said getting off the bed and sitting on Angel's bed behind her sister.

"Angel, you know me and your mom take medicine, right?" Roger started kneeling on the floor in front of his daughter.

"Um... yeah. You guys have a blood disease like me. I inherited it from you guys, right?" she asked as Randi put her hand on her sister's shoulder.

"Yes sweetie. We have a disease called HIV. You know what that is, don't you?" Keely asked looking over at Randi.

"Um... yeah. We learned about it in health class. How did you guys get it?" she asked confused.

"It doesn't matter now sweetie. But um... when you and your sister were born, you inherited it from me. I um... I took all the medicine they told me to take, but um... you got it anyway. I'm so sorry sweetheart." Keely told her holding back tears.

"I have AIDS? How could you guys just be telling me this now?" Angel asked agitated.

"We wanted to wait until you were old enough to realize what was going on." Keely said looking over at her.

"You didn't tell me that I was HIV positive. You should have told me. You lied to me my whole life about why I had to go to the doctor all the time and take medicine." she yelled getting up from the bed.

"We're so sorry Angel. We didn't mean to lie to you. We just didn't want you to worry anymore then you had to. HIV is not a death sentence. Me and your mom have had it longer than you've been alive and we're still fine." Roger said getting up from the bed to go to her. Seeing his daughter upset like that was killing him.

"How come Randi doesn't have it? Why am I the one who got it?" she asked crying looking up at him.

"I don't know sweetie." he whispered trying to put his arms around him.

"No daddy. I can't deal with this right now. Just leave me alone." she yelled pulling away from him before rushing out of the bedroom and leaving the apartment.

"Roger, we have to go after her. She's only 12 years old. She should not be wandering around the city by herself." Keely cried looking up at Roger.

"I'll go." Randi whispered quietly breaking her silence.

"Randi, are you OK?" Keely asked looking over at her.

"Yeah mom, I'm fine. Um... I better go. Angel needs me and if I'm gonna catch up with her, I have to leave now." she said putting her coat on.

"Thank you sweetheart. When you get back, I promise we'll all sit down and talk calmly about all of this." Keely said looking over at her daughter.

"I know mom. I don't blame you for not telling us. You had your reasons. I love you guys. Angel does too. She just needs to calm down." she said before rushing past them and out of the apartment to find her sister.

"How could this be happening Roger? Our little girl hates us." Keely cried sitting on the bed.

"She does not hate us Keely. Do you hear me? She could never hate us. She knows how much we love her and that we had her best interest at heart. She will realize it. But she does not hate us." he insisted, sitting next to Keely on the bed.

"That little girl is never gonna be the same again, you do realize that, don't you? Our precious, sweet Angel is gone. This is gonna change her." she cried as Roger brought her into his arms to comfort her.

"Nothing can change our Angel. She is sweet, kind, and has a good heart. She's gonna be fine. As soon as she realizes that we did it to protect her, she's gonna calm down. Randi is gonna calm her down." he said holding her tight in this arms as they cried together.

"She's gonna blame me." she cried clutching the back of Roger's shirt as she cried into his chest.

"No she is not. Keely, this is not your fault. It's not." he insisted caressing her blond hair.

* * *

"Angel, stop." Randi called out as she caught up with Angel a couple of blocks from the apartment.

"Randi, go back to mom and dad. I need to be alone right now." she yelled walking faster to get away from her sister.

"Angel, you can't go off by yourself. At least let me walk with you." Randi offered finally standing next to her sister.

"How could they lie to me my whole life about me being sick? And how come I'm the one who got it and not you?" she asked crying.

"I don't know Ang. But mom and dad didn't tell you to lie to you. They were trying to protect you. They were trying to protect both of us." Randi yelled stepping in front of her sister stopping her.

"Protect me from what? I'm not a baby Randi. They didn't think I could understand this?" she asked looking over at her.

"I'm sure they just wanted to make sure we totally understood what it meant. You're not dying. You've been on medicine your whole life. If you were sick, mom and dad would have told us sooner." she said reaching out for her sisters hand.

"But how did I get it and you didn't? Why me Randi?" she cried as Randi wrapped her arms around her sister to comfort her.

"I don't know Ang. Dad said that mom took medicine with she was pregnant with us, but it only protected me. Mom didn't want us to get it. It was beyond her control." she said hugging her sister.

"How did mom and dad get it?" she asked pulling back.

"Why don't we go home so mom and dad could tell you themselves?" she suggested looking over at her sister.

"Are they mad?" she asked wiping her eyes.

"No. They're worried about you Angel. They're scared that you hate them." Randi said rubbing her sisters upper arm.

"I don't hate them. I just don't understand how they could keep this from me." she said looking over at her.

"Come on. Let's go home and ask them." she suggested putting her arm around her sisters shoulder and walking her back to the apartment. When they got entered the apartment, Roger and Keely were sitting on the couch waiting for them. They jumped up as they walked in the door.

"I'm so sorry Angel. I never wanted this to hurt you." Keely cried taking her daughter into her arms.

"I'm sorry too mom. I shouldn't have yelled at you guys and ran out of here." Angel cried holding on to Keely tight.

"It's all my fault Angel. I did everything I could, but it wasn't good enough. I'm sorry my Angel." Keely cried as Roger and Randi looked on with tears in their eyes.

"Keely, it's not your fault. It could never be your fault." Roger told her through his tears.

"He's right mom. It's not your fault. You did what the doctor said, but Angel got it anyway. It's not your fault." Randi cried reaching out to Keely and Angel.

"Randi, you have no idea how many years of therapy it took for your mother to finally come to terms with all of this." Roger told his daugher wiping his eyes.

"Mom, how did you and dad get HIV?" Angel asked looking up at Keely.

"That's a long story sweetheart. One you girls really don't need to know. It was a long time ago." Keely answered playing with her daughters hair.

"I need to know mom. Please." she insisted wiping her eyes.

"Come on. Sit down." Roger said reaching out his hand to his daughter leading her to the couch.

A/N: I felt ending the chapter here was the right thing to do, since I don't want it to be a million pages long and there is no short answer to Angel's question. Since the HIV impacts her too, Roger and Keely have to be completely straight with her about everything. She deserves to know everything. I know I've been writing a lot of tearjerker, intense chapters, but it is what it is. That's the way things are. Keep reading and don't forget to review. I know some of you have been reading and not reviewing. Naughty, naughty. I'd like to know what you think. Thanks for reading.

Renthead621


	64. Chapter 64

As the girls sat on the love seat next to one another. Roger and Keely sat on the couch clutching one anothers hands.

"I was a stupid kid. I met this girl named April." Roger started as Randi and Angel sat listening carefully. "She was Aunt Maureen's roommate. We started dating and we were really in love. April got pregnant and we really wanted the baby too, but she lost the baby. She had a miscarriage. The baby was a boy. We named him Erik. It was all too much for April, so she started shooting heroin with a friend of hers. We fought all the time about it. We were both hurting so much from losing Erik. One night, she got me thinking that it would be good if I tried it too. She convinced me that it would make me stop feeling the hurt of losing our son. The thought was so appealing... so I did it. Not too long after that we found out we were HIV positive. April killed herself when she found out and I tried to, but Aunt Alison wouldn't let me do it. She made sure I got help and got clean. I owe her my whole life." he said as the girls looked on.

"We had a big brother?" Randi asked looking over at Roger.

"I guess you can say that, yeah. I mean, he died before he could be born. It was really hard." he said looking over at her before looking away. He didn't want to see the same look in her eyes that he had seen in Randi.

"Daddy, it's OK. It was a long time ago." Randi said looking over at him.

"Mom, how did you get it?" Angel asked looking over at Keely.

"I um.. I came to New York to be go to dance school. All I ever really wanted to do is be a dancer. When I hurt my knee during a performance, I had surgery on it and went to physical therapy. But they told me that I would never dance professionally again. When they told me that, I started drinking a lot. I'm an alcoholic." she confessed as she began crying, but she kept going on. "That's why you girls never see me drink. Not even a beer. I can't drink. Well one night I went to a bar and got really drunk and met a guy. Um... we didn't use protection so I got HIV. I found out when I went to a clinic for a test after seeing a poster in the subway. When I met your dad, I had been sober for a few years. Just when I thought my chance at a normal life was gone, he came into my life and convinced me that I could still have one. A new normal life." she smiled through her tears as Roger reached up and caressed her tear stained, wet face. "When I got pregnant with you girls, I was so scared that you were gonna have it. I didn't know what I was gonna do. The doctor gave me medicine and he said that there would be no reason why you girls couldn't be born negative. Every month we brought you girls to be tested. And you were doing fine until Angel's tests came back abnormal. It tore me up. It almost tore me and your father apart. I stopped talking to him. I didn't think he could understand what I felt. I felt as if I killed my baby." she cried harder before burying her face in her hands.

"Baby, maybe we should..." Roger started as Keely put her hand up to him.

"No Roger. They need to know this. They need to hear this. All of it. They're not little girls anymore. They're young women now." she told him struggling to regain her composure and complete what she felt she need to tell her girls. "OK, I'm alright now." she said clearing her throat before continuing. "I um... almost went back to drinking again the day we found out you were positive. But your father wouldn't let that happen. He was always my knight in shining leather. We started going to a therapist and it really helped." she smiled at Roger through her tears.

"Girls, you need to understand that we never wanted any of this to hurt you. We only wanted to protect you." Roger said holding Keely close to him looking over at his daughters.

"How did you guys not think this was gonna hurt us? Even if I didn't have it too? We would still have to lose you guys. When you guys... we're gonna be alone?" Angel started before starting to cry.

"No one in this family would ever let you girls be alone. Uncle Mark and Aunt Allie have guardianship of you guys when we... But I want you to know that you, me and your mom are still healthy. Thanks to Aunt Alison we have the best medical care money can buy." Roger said rushing to take his young daughter into his arms and hold her tight.

* * *

"Randi are you up?" Angel asked from her bed.

"Yeah. Who can sleep after today?" she said leaning up on her elbow.

"Do you think me, mom and dad are the only one's who have this?" she asked looking over at her sister.

"I don't know. I mean, I've seen Aunt Mimi and Uncle Collins taking medicine, but Colin doesn't take medicine like you do. And neither does Uncle Oliver or Uncle Manny." Randi said looking over at her.

"Randi, I'm scared." Angel whispered looking over at her.

"What are you scared of? Everything is just the same as it always was. The only difference is, we know now." Randi said going over to her.

"What if my friends find out and they don't like me anymore?" she asked as Randi sat on the bed next to her sister.

"Ang, no one has to know if you don't want them to. And if they don't like you because of it, then they aren't good enough to be your friends." Randi said taking her sisters hand.

"But what about when I get a boyfriend? Am I gonna have to tell him?" she asked looking up at her.

"That's something you'll have to talk to mom and dad about. They know more about this than I do. But you know dad isn't gonna let you date until you're like 20." she told her trying to lighten the mood.

"Thanks Rand. I don't know what I would do without you." she smiled looking over at her older sister.

"You're never gonna have to find out sis. I'll make sure of it." Randi smiled before getting up and going to her own bed. After a while, she heard Angel's breathing getting heavy, she knew she was asleep. She turned over and quietly cried. She thought about losing both of her parents and her younger sister. She cried until she cried herself to sleep.

"What are we gonna do Roger?" Keely asked laying on his chest crying.

"There's nothing to do Baby. The girls know and now there's no more hiding. No more lying about the doctor or the meds." he whispered kissing her head.

"And what about Mimi and Collins? They don't know about them yet. We should have told them when we had the chance." she said looking up at him. Her eyes were red from crying.

"This is Mimi and Collins' secret to tell them, not ours. We told them ours." he told her reaching down to caress her tear stained face.

"But they're gonna feel betrayed again. Their aunt and uncle are positive and we didn't tell them." she said leaning up further to face him.

"They'll understand. Their smart girls. Just like their mother." he smiled faintly leaning down to kiss his wife.

"Now Angel is gonna be asking a lot of questions." Keely said looking up at him.

"Yeah, I know. She's gonna be even more curious now. But she's healthy Keel and so are we. They have nothing to worry about. We just have to be up front and straight with them about everything now. Not hold anything back." he said playing with her hair.

"You're right. They deserve to be treated like the mature young women they're turning into." she agreed looking up into his green eyes.

"Do you think they're talking about it right now?" he asked looking down at her.

"I hope so. They're gonna need each other now more than they've ever needed each other before." she said laying on his chest again.

"To start with, yeah." he whispered kissing her head before they fell asleep in each others arms.

* * *

"The girls know? How could they know?" Alison asked looking over at Keely.

"Apparently you and Mark were talking about what's gonna happen to Randi when all this is over and she overheard." she said looking over at Alison.

"I'm so sorry Keel. We never meant to..." she started looking over at her.

"It's OK Allie. We had to tell them sooner or later. We couldn't keep running from it." Keely said getting up from the couch in the loft.

"How did Angel take it?" she asked looking up at her.

"She was angry that we lied to her about her blood disease, but Randi talked to her and we all sat down and talked calmly about it. We told them how we both contracted it and I think it all turned out to be a good thing. I mean, we're not lying to them anymore. They know the whole truth. Sort of." she said reaching into the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

"That's a good thing, right?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, but they still don't know about Mimi and Collins." she said opening the water bottle.

"Honey, it's not your secret to tell them. It really should come from Mimi and Collins. Collin doesn't even know about Mimi." she said looking over at her.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just afraid that their gonna look at this as a betrayal of our new found trust." she said looking over at her.

"They're not. They'll understand Keely. You have to believe that." she said getting up to go to her.

"I'm just afraid I'm gonna lose my girls over this, you know?" she said looking over at her with tears in her eyes.

"You're not gonna lose anyone over this. Keely, this is an impossible situation for everyone. The girls will understand. They know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt them." Alison said putting her hand on Keely's arm.

"Yeah, a lot good that's done all these years, huh?" she said drinking her water.

"Keel..." Alison started when Keely interrupted her.

"Forget it Allie. I'm sorry. It was just really hard telling them how me and Roger got it and how we could protect Randi but not Angel. Not something we've been anxious to tell them all these years. That their parents were just stupid kids who didn't think about the future." she said looking over at her fighting tears.

"Like Mimi always says, no day but today chica." Alison said looking over at her.

"Yeah, but that doesn't make it any easier, you know?" she said looking over at her.

* * *

"You should have seen the looks in my daughters eyes... I swear, the last thing I ever wanted to see in this life was the way they looked at me yesterday." Roger cried looking up at Collins.

"I'm sorry man. But at least the elephant in the room is finally being talked about." he said putting his hand on his friends shoulder.

"That doesn't make it hurt any less." Roger cried burying his face in his hands.

"How did they take me and Mimi having it too?" he asked looking over at him.

"They don't know yet. We didn't get that far." he said looking up at him wiping the tears with the backs of his hands.

"How could you have not told them about us? They need to know that they're not alone in this." he asked looking over at him.

"You know Collins, at the time we weren't really thinking about confessing all of the families secrets. They're little girls." he yelled getting up from his chair. "Maybe we should have told them about their dead Uncle Randy or their Aunt Angel who died of AIDS or their long lost Aunt Joanne who bailed on Maureen when we found out about Angel because she couldn't hack losing anyone else to this." he yelled pacing around the living room of Collins and Manny's apartment.

"I'm... I'm sorry Roger, you're right. Do you want me to sit them down and tell them about me? I can take them for the day and I can tell them about Angel too." he quietly suggested looking up at him.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's just... there is no instruction manual on this. We're all just winging it." he apologized calmer now.

"I know man. I just don't think you realize that their not little girls anymore. Their almost teenagers. Teenagers who will definitely be dating and they should not be in the dark about any of this." he explained looking over at him.

"My daughters are not gonna be dating for a very long time." Roger smiled slightly looking down at his friend.

"You, my friend are in denial about your daughters growing up." Collins laughed mildly amused by Roger's over protective nature when it comes to the women in his life.

"I don't want them to grow up. Why couldn't they stay 4 forever? They were so cute at that age. They still needed me." he asked plopping back down on the chair.

"Because little girls grow up, but they always need their daddy's." he smiled looking over at him.

"I just hope Mark and Oliver can fill in when I'm gone." he told him quietly looking down at the gray and blue carpet.

"No one can fill your shoes, Roger. And no ones gonna have to." Collins said reaching over to put his hand on Roger's knee.

* * *

"I wish you would give your knee a break. You're doing more damage every time you go to class." Roger said putting an ice pack on Keely's knee as they sat on the couch with her leg up on the table.

"I can't Roger. There are a lot of girls depending on me. Our daughter included. I just need to stretch more. I'll be fine." she told him laying her head on the back of the couch.

"At least go to the doctor Keel. Get it looked at. Maybe he can take some xrays, just to make sure it didn't get any worse." he said looking over at her.

"Fine Roger. But I'm telling you, he's gonna say I need to stretch more." she agreed looking over at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all he'll tell you. But I'll just feel better if you get it looked at." he smiled wrapping his arms around her shoulders and holding her close to him.

* * *

"Uncle Collins wants us to spend the day with him. Like a girls day out." Randi smirked after hanging up the phone.

"Girls day out? He is so weird." Angel laughed looking over at her sister.

"Do you think this means he's positive and he just wants to tell us himself?" Randi asked sitting on her bed looking over at her sister.

"No Randi, I don't. We've spent plenty of days out with Uncle Collins and not once did he tell us that he was positive. Why are you reading so much into this?" Angel asked annoyed at her sister.

"Ang, think about it. Two days after mom and dad tell us about them and you, Uncle Collins wants to take us out for a girls day. You have to admit, it's a little convenient." Randi said folding her legs in front of her.

"Randi, enough. This is not a game. If Uncle Collins is about to tell us that he's positive, are you gonna gloat? That just means that that's one less person we're gonna have in our lives." Angel yelled getting up and rushing out of the bedroom.

"Angel, what's the matter honey?" Keely asked looking over at her.

"I don't want to talk about it mom." she said going to the refrigerator for a soda.

"Angel, why are you mad at me?" Randi asked coming out of their room.

"I'm mad at you because you think this is all a game. If Uncle Collins is positive, it means he's gonna die like me, mom and dad. Are you really happy about that?" Angel yelled putting her soda can on the counter before walking to Keely.

"Girls, stop it. Angel, sit down please. Randi, you too." Keely demanded as both girls sat down. Angel on the couch and Randi on the love seat. "There are a few things I want to explain to you girls that I don't think your father would want to hear me say to you, but you need to hear it." she said before taking a deep breath and calming down.

"Mom... we..." Randi started as Keely pointed at her.

"Let me get this out, OK girls?" she asked as both girs nodded. "Yes, your Uncle Collins is positive. So is Aunt Mimi, but Collin doesn't know and Aunt Mimi and Uncle Oliver wants to keep it that way until he's older." she said before sitting next to Angel on the couch.

"I knew it. Is that why Uncle Collins wants us to hang out with him?" Randi asked looking over at her.

"Probably sweetheart. But I'm not done." she said before Randi folded her hands in her lap and shut up. "When I met your dad, I wasn't ready for a relationship. When I found out I was positive, I was afraid that I would never have a normal life. Have what every other young woman in the city had. A chance at a life, a chance to be in love. When I met your father, I was determined not to fall for him. I was afraid of hurting him. He asked me out on a date and I went. But we didn't kiss until the next day. We went to a movie and then took a walk in the park and that's when we found out we were both positive. I was afraid he would run away when I told him, but when he told me that he was positive too, it hurt worse than it would have if he ran away. I couldn't believe he was gonna die of the same thing that would kill me. But he told me that we can have a normal life. Just a new normal life. He came back here and we talked all night. The next day, I met everyone else and I hit it off with Aunt Mimi right away. With us both being dancers, we had a lot in common. And the fact that she dated your dad and still loved loved him helped to bond us too." she smiled remembering that day at the Life Cafe.

"Wait a minute, Aunt Mimi and dad dated?" Angel asked looking over at her.

"Mhm. But Aunt Mimi let him go. She knew that he could never be completely happy with her. And since he was HIV positive too, she didn't want him to settle for being anything less than completely happy." she smiled thanking Mimi in her head after all these years. "Aunt Mimi is one of my best friends for a lot of reasons. But I am her best friend because I gave the man she loved complete happiness. The fact that we're all gonna die has nothing to do with us being HIV positive. It has to do with us being human. No one is guaranteed forever. " she told them as there was a knock at the door. "Come in Collins." she called out holding Angel's hand.

"Did I come at a bad time Babygirl?" he asked seeing the girls talking seriously.

"No honey, you came at a perfect time. Sit down." she smiled motioning to the love seat where Randi had moved over to make room for him.

"What are my girls talking about?" he asked curious.

"I'm telling the girls everything." she said squeezing Angel's hand a little tighter.

"We um... we know you're positive Uncle Collins. I'm really sorry." Randi said as he reached out for her small hand.

"What are you up to?" Collins asked smiling at Keely.

"Well, I told them about you and Mimi and I was telling them about when I met Roger and the rest of you." she said sitting back on the couch.

"I remember that. Roger stayed out all night. When he came home, he told us about you and how great you were. We couldn't wait to meet you. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him smile that way." he smiled looking over at her.

"I was scared to death of him." she laughed looking over at him. Almost forgetting that the girls were in the room.

"Why were you scared of dad? He's a pussy cat." Angel asked looking over at her.

"Not of him exactly, but of my feelings for him. I didn't want to fall in love with anyone but I knew it would be easy to fall in love with him. His charm, his good nature. He's a good man. He always has been." she smiled looking over at Angel.

"You've always been his girl Keel. Even before you met." Collins smiled looking over at her. "And now he's got three. It's been an honor to see him grow into the man he is today." he smiled looking at Randi and Angel.

"Do you know who you were named after?" she asked looking over at Randi.

"No. Who?" she asked looking over at her.

"Your dad's twin brother Randy. He died as a teenager in a car accident. Your dad worshipped him." she smiled looking over at her.

"We had an Uncle Randy? How come dad never told us about him." Angel asked looking over at Keely.

"Your dad didn't tell a lot of people. It hurt too much. Me and your mom were the only ones who knew until they found out they were pregnant with you girls." Collins said looking over at her.

"How about me? Who am I named after?" Angel asked looking over at Collins, whose head had bowed down.

"The love of my life. I was only with her for less than a year, but she taught me so much." he told them quietly.

"But we thought you were gay?" Randi asked confused.

"Angel Dumott Schunard was a cross dresser. She died of AIDS quite a few years ago. She had an affect on all of us. I remember the day your dad asked me if it would be OK if he named you Angel. I was honored that he wanted to name one of his angels after my Angel. She's always looking out for you girls. Along with your Uncle Randy." Collins smiled looking over at his girls.

"What was Uncle Randy like?" Randi asked looking over at Keely.

"I never actually met him sweetheart, but your dad told me that he was a basketball player and he looked out for your dad when their parents fought. That's why your dad doesn't want you to meet them. They really hurt him. He never wanted you two exposed to them. He's happy with you just knowing the family you have." she said looking over at her.

"Thanks for not treating us like little kids anymore." Angel said looking up at Collins.

"Well you're not little girls anymore. You're young ladies who should be treated as such." he smiled looking over at his neice.

"Tell that to dad." Randi laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen. You'll always be daddy's little girls." Keely smiled looking over at her daughters.


	65. Chapter 65

"I'm sorry Keely, it looks like your knee is getting worse." the doctor said as Keely sat on the other side of the desk from him.

"Is there anything we can do? Another surgery? Maybe physical therapy? Anything?" she asked looking over at him.

"Keely, you hurt your knee 15 years ago. At this stage, there's nothing more we can do. If you keep dancing, you'll experience more and more pain." he said looking over at her.

"I can't dance anymore? At all?" she asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry Keely. But it's for your own good. You've done a lot of damage as it is. Any more and it could be very painful to even walk for the rest of your life." he said looking at the file in front of him.

"I can't even teach dance anymore? But my school, my girls? What am I supposed to do now?" she asked clutching her purse on her lap.

"I'm sorry Keely. I wouldn't advise it. Unless you want to be in a brace and use a cane for the rest of your life." he told her closing her file.

"Thank you doctor. Thank you very much." she said looking over at him before getting up and leaving the office slowly due to pain in her knee. As she slowly walked home, she contemplated what she was gonna do with the rest of her life. Dancing was all she ever wanted to do since she was a little girl. When she hurt herself during a performance, she was told she would never dance professionally again. That was 15 years ago. She started drinking very heavily and contracted HIV from a one night stand. Then she got sober and bought her dance school and lived to teach little girls how to be ballerinas. Now she finds out she can't do that either. She passed many bars on the way home, but walked right past them. She needed to go home and talk to her husband.

* * *

"I'm so sorry Keel. I know how much dancing means to you." Roger said quietly holding his wife's hand.

"Um... I'm gonna have to talk to Mimi and Julia. Mimi can take over all of my classes. She knows what she's doing and the girls love her." she mumbled trying to control her emotions.

"Keel, you need to deal with this. Holding it in is not gonna make it any better." he said squeezing her hand.

"I was expecting this Roger. I mean, I'm not getting any younger. It was bound to catch up with me. Especially since I've been dancing on it all these years." she said looking up with tears in her eyes.

"Everything is gonna be OK Keel." he whispered leaning over to kiss her had.

"How? How is everything gonna be OK? My life's work is gone. I've worked my whole life just to be a dancer. Even after I blew my knee out, I still endured. I opened the dance school and taught dancing to little girls. To give them what I had growing up. Now that's gone Roger. It's all gone." she cried as he held her close to him kissing her head over and over again.

"It is not gone. Keel, you touched so many little girls lives. You believed in them when no one else in their lives did. You changed a lot of little girls lives and now many of them are still dancing. Tamara is going to the same dance school you went to. She never would have had that chance had it not been for you." he said looking down at her.

"What about Angel? Dancing is all she ever had and it was the one thing she and I shared together. It was the one thing that Randi couldn't do with us. It means a lot to her for us to have that." she cried looking up at him.

"You know dancing is not the only thing you have with Angel." he whispered looking down at her.

"It's the only thing we can share without you and Randi tagging along." she said wiping her eyes.

"It'll be OK Keel. You'll see. You're not gonna lose Angel just because you can't dance anymore." he smiled kissing her head.

"I've always been a dancer Roger. I've never been anything else. At least, I've never wanted to be anything else. What am I gonna be now?" she asked looking up at her husband.

"You'll always be my prima ballerina." he smiled kissing her on the lips.

* * *

"Daddy, why do you have to go on tour again?" Randi asked looking over at Roger who was packing his bags as she sat on the bed next to his duffle bag.

"Because we have to promote our new album. It's what I do for a living." he said folding his shirts half assed.

"How come I can't go with you? I don't have school next week. It's spring break." she asked looking up at him as she took the clothes out of his bag and refolded them the way her mother taught her.

"But I'm gonna be gone longer than a week. You'll be back in school way before I get back. Um.. are you gonna refold everything I put in there?" he asked laughing watching her refold everything.

"Well mom always said you don't know how to fold stuff." she smiled carefully folding each piece of clothing he packed.

"Your just as anal as your mom about folding." he smiled looking down at her.

"That's OK. I don't mind being like mom. At least my clothes won't be wrinkled." she smiled looking up into his green eyes.

"You shouldn't. Your mom's a good woman. She took a burned out rockstar and turned me into the man you see today." he smiled raising his arms out away from him.

"And gave you a family, right daddy?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Yeah sweetie, she did." he smiled leaning down to kiss his daughters head.

"Daddy, tell me about the first song you ever wrote for mom." she asked looking up at him.

"She loved it. But I hated it. I thought it was lame." he laughed remembering when she first read the lyrics of her song.

"Dad, have you met mom? She is lame." she laughed looking over at him.

"Yeah, I know. And I like the fact that mom is lame. I remember when she was pregnant with you girls, I walked in here to her singing New Kids on the Block while she was vacuuming." he laughed sitting next to his daughter.

"Mom is such a dork." she laughed looking up at him.

"I love the fact that mom's a dork." he laughed putting his arm around her.

"How was she the first time you sung her song to her? She cried, right?" she asked looking over at him.

"You can say that. We just found out she was pregnant with you girls and her hormones were all over the place." he laughed looking over at her.

"Mom loves you a lot. Me and Angel give you guys a hard time about kissing all the time and stuff, but we really like it. It's cute." she smiled looking over at him.

"Good, because I plan on kissing your mom and stuff until my last breath." he smiled looking down at her.

"Daddy, tell me about Uncle Randy." she asked looking up at him.

"How do you know about..." he started when it dawned on him. "Mom. She's been nagging me about telling you girls about him."

"Mom told us what she knew, but she didn't tell us much. She said he looked out for you with your parents, but he died before you guys met." she said looking up at him.

"He would have loved her. I probably would have had to fight him for her. Randy was my twin brother. He was older than me, like you're older than Angel. Just by a couple of minutes. Our real dad left when we were younger and my mom got remarried to a really bad guy. He was really mean to us, and my mom. Randy started drinking and doing drugs with his friends. He was on his way home from a party with some friends and he died in a car accident. We were living with my grandmother by then. She saw that our parents were hurting us so she had us go live with her. When Randy died, my dad blamed me. He thought it should have been me who died since Randy was going places with his basketball and I wasn't going anywhere with my music. Or so he thought." he said looking down at her.

"You are really talented dad. Mom loves it when you sing to her. So do me and Angel. Your dad was stupid not to tell you that." she said getting serious.

"Thanks kiddo. That means a lot. But my first priority is my girls. You, your sister and your mom are my life. You are more like your mom than you realize." he said looking into his daughter's beautiful blue eyes.

"We know daddy." she smiled leaning up to kiss his cheek before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tight.

* * *

"Do you have everything?" Keely asked looking up at Roger as she stood by the front door of their apartment.

"Yeah Baby. I got it all. Randi even went through everything refolding it like you always do." he laughed running his fingers through her hair as he looked into her blue eyes.

"Good. You never fold your clothes right. They always get wrinkled." she laughed holding back tears.

"I'll be back before you even know I'm gone." he whispered leaning his forehead into hers as he held her face in his hands.

"I doubt it. Tonight when I don't hear you snoring, I'll know you're gone." she laughed as tears fell from her eyes.

"What if I make this the last tour?" he asked caressing her tears away.

"You can't do that Roger. You worked really hard to get where you are. I won't let you do that?" she asked looking up at him.

"What if I want to do it? I can't stand being away from you and the girls. I'm missing so much. Last time I missed Angel's ballet recital. I hate missing shit with them. It only comes around once in their lives. What kind of father does that make me Keel?" he asked looking down at her.

"The kind of father who wants his children to see that if you work hard enough and want it bad enough, you can do anything you want. Following your heart is always right, no matter where it leads you. I thought we talked about this and settled it years ago. This is your dream, you deserve it." she said backing away from him.

"Keel, I don't know how many more times I can tell my girls that I have to leave for a few months and listen to them beg me to take them with me. I can't keep telling them no. The truth is, I want to take them with me. And you too for that matter. I want you on that stage with me like in the beginning. I miss singing with you. You should be up there with me. You always belonged up there with me." he said walking closer to her.

"If I can't be a dancer I'm happy being a wife and a mother Roger. I can't be a rock star. I haven't been on that stage in years." she said walking away from him. Slightly limping on her bad leg.

"And what message is that showing your daughters? That it's OK for me to have my dream, but not you?" he asked looking over at her.

"That's not fair Roger. I can't dance anymore." she yelled as she turned towards him.

"But that wasn't your only dream. Baby, you were always so good up there Keel." he said walking towards her.

"My place is here with my girls. Someone has to be here to take them to school. To give them a normal life." she said looking up at him.

"We can get private tutors for them while we're on the road. Their already smarter than most of the kids in their class. They can graduate by the time their 16. Keel we can do this. It'll be good for them to see their mother follow a dream or two." he said taking her by her shoulders, leaning down to look her in her eyes.

"My dream was always dancing Roger. When I blew my knee out, that dream was blown out too. I was only singing as a favor to Oliver until he found you." she said looking into his green eyes.

"Keel, you were meant for more than just dancing. Your were always a really talented singer. You know you want to do this." he smiled looking down at her.

"How Roger? How would this work?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out. Just promise me you'll think about it. Please." he pleaded looking over at her.

"I'll think about it." she submitted starting to smile.

"That's my girl. Um... I gotta go, but I'll call you later. I love you so much Baby. I'll miss you." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you too Roger. I miss you already." she smiled as he leaned down to pick up his bag before leaving the apartment. She was left to think about Roger's proposal. When she got pregnant with the girls, she was prepared to give up singing forever to be a mother to her girls. She felt like they needed her more than a bar full of people. When Roger got a record deal, she was excited for him and the band. They deserved it. It was all any of them dreamt about since they were young kids. She was only doing it as a favor to her cousin Oliver. She was a mother now, her girls needed a normal life. Traveling on the road with their parents rock band wasn't a normal life. She spent her life teaching Angel dance and encouraging Randi to follow in her fathers footsteps. But she had to admit, she did miss being on stage with Roger.

* * *

"Are you really considering this? I mean really?" Allison asked looking over at Keely as they sat in the apartment Keely and Roger shared with their daughters.

I don't know. I mean, he just sprung it on me just before he left for the tour. Do you think I should?" she asked looking over at her.

"Oh no, this is something you have to decide on your own. I can't tell you what to do." she said getting up from the couch.

"What am I gonna do Allie? I'm so confused." she said looking up at her friend, who was by the window seat looking out.

"Have you missed it?" she asked turning to look at her.

"Of course I miss it. Being up there with Roger was a time in my life I will always cherish. Singing with him made me start living again." she said looking over at her.

"How do you think the girls will take it? The prospect of going on tour?" she asked looking back at her.

"I don't know. I'm guessing they'll be thrilled. They've been wanting to go with Roger since they were 6 years old." she smiled looking over at her.

"Talk to them. But only if you're serious about going back. You don't want to get their hopes up." she said going back over to the couch.

"I don't know if I'm serious. I mean, Roger said that it's not fair to me not to be doing what I love, but we both know dancing was always the thing I loved. But I'm not getting any younger. My knee is too far gone. The doctor already told me that I'm pushing it as it is." she said looking over at her.

"Well you always had a strong presence onstage. It's what drew Roger to you." she smiled folding her arms across her chest.

"But the spotlight always belonged on him. He was always the talented one. I was just playing around until Oli found a new lead singer. Roger happened to have been that lead singer." she smiled getting up from the couch.

"Yeah well, if you were just playing around, I'd hate to hear you when you were really serious. Keel, you blew everyone away. I believe the word Collins used the first time he heard you was 'Wow'." she smiled going into the kitchen where Keely went to get a bottle of water.

"I just did songs that moved me. It wasn't a big deal." she said looking over at her.

"You know, it's a shame you don't realize what a big deal it was to hear you sing. You always knocked everyone on their asses. Roger especially. He fell in love with you when he heard you sing." she smiled leaning on the counter. "You promised Roger you'd think about it, so think about it."

"This is gonna be a long tour." Keely grumbled swigging back her bottled water.

"You'll figure it out. I know you will." she smiled before getting up and going back over to the couch where her iced tea was.

* * *

"Aunt Mimi, is it hard for you when Uncle Oliver is on tour?" Angel asked as they warmed up in the dance studio.

"Yeah, but I have my girls and Collin and all of my friends. Why do you ask that chiquita?" she asked stretching.

"It's hard for mom too. I hear her crying in her room sometimes when dad's on tour. She misses him a lot." she said looking over at her.

"Your mom and dad love each other very much. From the moment they met they were soul mates. They loved each other before they even met. Of course it's hard for your mom. But that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you and Randi very much." she said looking over at her.

"What about you and dad? Did you guys love each other?" she asked sitting on the hard wood floor to stretch as Mimi followed suit.

"Of course we loved each other. We still do. He's one of my best friends, but he always belonged to your mom. From the moment I met her, I knew they were made for each other. Literally. They were too much alike." she smiled looking over at her.

"Do you wish sometimes that Uncle Oliver just stayed home and played clubs around here, like he used to?" she asked looking over at her.

"Never. Uncle Oliver is very talented. Much too talented to stay home and play the dives around here. So is your dad. He was always meant for great things." she smiled looking at her neice.

"But I know mom wishes dad would stay home. She misses him so much." she said looking up at her.

"She would never tell him. She believes in him too much. She's too proud of what he's accomplished." Mimi smiled looking over at her.

"Do you think mom'll start singing again since she can't dance anymore?" she asked looking over at her aunt.

"I hope so. Your mom always was good." Mimi smiled looking over at her neice as they continued to stretch.

"Yeah, Uncle Mark showed me some of her performances and she was really awesome. And dad loved to see her sing." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah he did." she smiled as the other girls started entering the school.


	66. Chapter 66

"So have you thought about my proposal yet?" Roger asekd as he sat on the bed in his hotel room.

"Have I thought about it? It's all I've been thinking about. Well besides missing you." she told him sitting on their bed with her bad leg propped up on pillows.

"Have you agreed to it yet or do you want to drive yourself crazy some more?" he laughed running his fingers through his wet hair.

"You are a cocky fucker, you know that Davis?" she laughed looking up at the pictures Mark had taken of them before the girls were born. They were singing to each other and they were really happy.

"Yeah well, it's part of my charm." he laughed as Oliver tried to get his attention. Um, baby, I gotta go. Your pain in the ass cousin wants me. I'll call you before bed, OK?" he said into his cell phone.

"OK Baby. I miss you so much." she said as the girls came into her bedroom.

"Is that daddy?" Randi asked as Keely nodded. "Tell him we miss him and can't wait to see him next week." she said plopping on Keely and Roger's bed.

"Did you hear?" Keely asked as Angel gently crawled next to her on Roger's side of the bed.

"Yea, I miss my girls too. Gotta go Baby. Tell the girls I love them and I'll talk to them tomorrow after school. I love you Keel. Think about it. You belong up there with me. Bye Babe." he told her before hanging up, leaving Keely speechless.

"Is daddy having fun. I bet he's rocking out to sold out crowds every night." Randi rambled before flopping onto her stomach and looking up at Angel.

"I bet dad really misses us and everyone else, right mom?" she asked quietly looking over at Keely, who was in another world.

"What? Oh, um yeah. He told me to tell you gierls that he loves you and misses you very much. He'll call tomorrow after school to talk to you." she smiled faintly looking over at her daughters. "Um... is your homework done?" she asekd looking over at Randi.

"Why is it always me you look at? Maybe it's Angel's that's not done. Did you ever think about that? No. Uncle Collins says that's profiling." Randi said sitting up on the bed.

"Randi Lynn Davis." Keely said as Angel laughed.

"OK, no it's not done yet, but I was almost done when I heard dad's ringer and me and Angel waited a little while before coming in because we wanted to tell him we love him and miss him." she told her looking down at her legs.

"Get it done Randi Lynn. It's almost time for dinner." she smiled before struggling to get up from the bed.

"Mom, do you need help?" Angel asked rushing to help her.

"I got it sweetie. Thanks. It's feeling a little better than yesterday." she said limping around the bedroom.

"Does dad know it's worse." Randi asked looking over at her.

"No and no one is gonna tell him either. I did like the doctor said and stopped dancing, I'm not about to stop walking too. I just need to stretch it out. It's stiff from resting it so long." she said as they looked at each other.

"Mom, dad would want to know about your leg. What if you're making it worse by not doing anything about it now?" Angel asked looking over at her mother.

"Who's the mother here? You two or me?" she asked smiling at her.

"We just worry about you mom. Dad's not here to do it, so someone has to." Randi smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah well, I'm fine. You have homework to finish and I have dinner to make." she smiled limping out of the bedroom.

"Yes mommy." she smiled following her, but going into her own room.

"You're a wiseass just like your father." Keely laughed going into the kitchen.

"That's OK. I like being like my father." she yelled plopping on her bed and doing her homework.

* * *

"Why the hell are you pacing around so much? What's the matter Oliver?" Roger asked looking over at Oliver who looked severely distressed.

"I fucked up man. Oh God, I fucked up. Mimi's gonna divorce me and then Collin is gonna hate me and Keel is gonna kick my fucking ass. Jesus, how could I be so stupid?" he ranted pacing around the hotel room.

"What the hell did you do? I swear to God Oliver..." he started when Oliver interrupted him.

"I slept with some groupie. I cheated on my wife for some 19 year old fucking bimbo." he said looking over at him.

"You son of a bitch. How could you fucking do that? You and Mimi are married. That means you fuck no one else but your wife. What the hell were you thinking?" he asked restraining himself from diving at his friends throat.

"Yeah Rog, I think we established that I wasn't thinking. What the hell am I gonna do?" he asked rubbing the back of his neck frustrated.

"For one thing, you're not telling Mimi and you'd be lucky if I don't fucking ring your damn neck." he said sitting on the bed.

"Rog man, how can I not tell her? I fucked up and I don't think I can live with the guilt." he said looking over at him.

"That'll be your punishment. For starters. I swear to God Oliver. You hurt Mimi, I kill you fucking dead. How the hell did that happen?" he asked looking over at him.

"I don't know. I mean, Mimi's been busy lately and too tired to... you know and this chick came on to me and I figured, hell, I still got it. So I went for it." he answered sitting on his bed.

"So in other words little Oliver was doing the thinking?" he asked as Oliver nodded. "Great. OK, this can be fixed. Did you use a condom?" he asked looking over at him.

"I'm not a complete mororn Roger. Of course I used one. I've been using one for so long, I have no idea how it would be without one." he said looking over at him.

"Point taken. OK, at least you were using the big head that time." he said getting up to pace the room.

"It's just... Mimi's been so busy at the school lately and we haven't exactly been talking and I mean, this girl paid attention to me. She looked at me the way Mimi used to, you know?" he asked looking over at him.

"That's because she's been teaching Keely's classes you asshole." he yelled looking over at him.

"How come Keely's not teaching her classes? Is she..." he asked looking over at him.

"It's her knee man, she's been having a lot of problems with it lately so she went to the doctor. He told her that she had to stop dancing. If she didn't she wouldn't even be able to walk without constant pain." he said with his hands in his head.

"I'm... I'm sorry Rog. I didn't know. What is she gonna do?" he asked looking over at him.

"I kind of asked her to come back to the band." he said looking over at him.

"Are you serious? What did she say?" he asked surprised.

"She hasn't said yes yet, but I know my wife. She will." he said looking over at him.

"How do you know she'll say yes? She loves being a mother to those girls too much." he asked happy the subject got changed.

"Because if she can't dance, this is what she should be doing. She was fronting this band way before she dusted this washed up front man off and turned him into a bona fide rockstar. It's where she belongs man. You know that." he smirked looking over at him.

"Yeah, even with all the fighting over the playlist, I hated that she chose dancing over this after the girls were born." he smiled looking over at him.

"Oliver man, we got it all. A great music career, great kids and incredible wives." he started before leaning on his legs. "Is this the first time? You know, with some groupie?" he aked looking over at him.

"I swear to God, yeah. I mean it's been tempting all these years. But I been able to fight it. But this time... I don't know, I think something's going on with Mimi. She's not telling me, but she's avoiding me." he said looking over at him.

"I don't know man, but you need to talk to your wife and for fuck's sake, stay away from the groupies. All they're looking to do is fuck anyone who's in a band." he said looking over at him.

"What about you? All these years, and you never been tempted once?" he asked looking over at him.

"What do you think? Keely's my life. She was my life before I even knew her. I would never fuck that up. Not for some young piece of ass. They wouldn't stand up to what I have at home." he smiled looking down at his ring.

"Right. I'm sorry Roger. I fucked up so bad. I don't know how, but I'm gonna make this up to Mimi somehow." he said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, just don't be an asshole again, OK? And for Godsake, don't tell Mimi. It'll kill her." he said getting up from his bed to go to the bathroom.

"No problem Roger." he said reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. He opened it up to the picture of Mimi and Collin. They were smiling. He remembered when Keely took the picture. It was at Collin's last birthday party. He smiled at his family before running his finger over their faces. "I'm sorry Baby. I'll make it up to you. I swear." he said looking down at it.

* * *

"Mimi, are you here?" Keely asked limping into the dance studio. When she didn't get an answer she limped towards the office. As she got closer, she heard sobbing. When she opened the door, she saw Mimi laying on the couch crying into a pillow. "Mimi, are you OK?." she asked limping over to the couch.

"Keely... I didn't hear you come in. Um... what are you doing here?" she asked sitting up quickly wiping her tear stained face with the backs of her hands.

"Why were you crying Mimi?" she asked sitting on the couch next to her.

"It's nothing. Really. Um... what are you doing here?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Mimi, quit trying to change the subject. It's not gonna work. Why were you crying?" she asked adjusting in her seat to relieve the pressure on her knee.

"My t-cells. They're... they're low." she told her starting to cry again.

"Oh my God Mimi, I'm so sorry. Is there anything they can do?" she asked putting her arms around her.

"No, there's nothing. I mean, it's a miracle I lived this long, right?" she cried into her best friends shoulder. "Oh God Keel. What am I gonna do? I don't want to leave Oliver and my baby boy." she cried harder as Keely rubbed her back crying herself.

"I don't know chica. I don't know." she cried holding her tight.

"And on top of everything else, my best friend is gonna be going on tour with her family to follow her glory." she said looking up at her.

"I haven't decided if I'm going yet." she said pulling back from her.

"Oh, you're going. You know being on stage is where you belong. If it can't be on the dance stage, you should be performing with your husband. You two were always amazing together." she said looking over at her.

"Why is it that everyone knows I'm gonna get back up there, but me?" she asked wiping her face.

"Because Roger believes in you. We all do. You belong up there chica." she smiled looking over at her.

"Yeah well, I can't go now. I have to be here for my best friend." she said looking over at her.

"You are not using me as an excuse. I'll go with you if I have to, but you are doing it. That's an order. Call it my dying wish." she said holding back tears.

"Oh chica, I wish you wouldn't talk like that." she cried looking over at her.

"Keely Lynn Davis, you belong onstage and if I have only one trump card to play, I'm gonna play it to get you back up there with your husband where you belong." she cried as the women hugged again.


	67. Chapter 67

"Roger, I'm so happy you're home." Keely called out as he entered the apartment.

"I'm happy to be home too Baby. I missed you so much." he smiled putting his bags down as he rushed over to pick her up.

"I missed you so much too." she whispered kissing him over and over again.

"I know one more thing I missed." he smiled unbuttoning her shirt as he kissed down her neck.

"Mmm, me too. You have no idea." she moaned running her fingers through his hair.

"Where are the girls?" he asked kissing her neck.

"Collins and Manny's. But they can't wait to see you tomorrow." she smiled looking up at him.

"Tomorrow, huh? Well, we have a lot of catching up to do." he whispered as he carried her into their bedroom to make love for the first time in months.

"So, how was the tour?" she asked leaning up on his chest.

"Great, but it doesn't compare to my homecoming." he smiled leaning down to kiss her.

"Well, I don't feel complete without you here. It's like a piece of me is missing. So I was thinking that maybe next time, I'll just go with you. You know, to make sure we don't miss each other when you're gone." she smiled tracing circles in the middle of his chest.

"Are you serious? You're gonna come back?" he asked smiling wider than he had since he walked in the door.

"Yeah. I wouldn't want you to miss me so much next time you leave." she smiled as he sat up more, taking her with him.

"You're gonna get back on stage with me? Tell me you're gonna get back on stage with me?" he asked pushing her hair out of her face.

"I talked to the girls and they agree. I should be back on stage with you. It's where I belong." she smiled looking into his green eyes.

"You have no idea how great this is gonna be. Keel, I missed you so much Baby. Singing with you was some of the best days of my life." he smiled taking her tighter into his arms.

"Yeah, I'm back. That means, no more groupies at your feet. I'm gonna keep a very tight leash on you guys." she laughed looking up at him.

"There are no groupies. It's just you. It's always been just you Keel." he whispered caressing her face.

"Oh and Mimi and Collin are coming with us too. If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna need my best friend to keep me sane around all of you boys." she smiled lifting her arm up to sweep the hair off of his forehead.

"Anything you want Baby, it's yours. You want the moon, I'll reach up and grab it for you." he smiled leaning down to kiss her nose.

"I just want you. You're all I ever wanted." she smiled kissing his lips lightly.

"Same here Baby." he smiled as she rested her head on his chest.

* * *

"Babe, I'm home." Oliver called out as he entered his and Mimi's apartment.

"Hey, how was the tour?" she asked coming out of Collin's room with an arm full of dirty laundry.

"Good, it was good. How were things here?" he asked leaning down to kiss her before she put the dirty clothes into the laundry bag in the living room.

"They were OK. Um... Oliver, we need to talk." she said looking over at him.

"Where's Collin?" he asked looking around.

"At Collins and Manny's place with the girls. I need to tell you something." she said looking over at him.

"What's up Babe?" he asked setting his bag down.

"Oliver, we should sit down." she said sitting on the couch.

"Mimi, you're scaring me. What's going on?" he asked sitting on the couch next to her.

"Baby um... my t-cells are low." she told him barely audible.

"What? Um... when?" he asked choking back tears.

"Last week. I didn't want to tell you over the phone." she said fighting her own tears.

"Oh God Baby, I'm so sorry." he said taking her roughly into his arms stroking her wild curly hair.

"For what? You didn't do anything. It's me. It's my own damn fault. Had I not been so stupid when I was younger, I wouldn't be dying now." she cried holding on to the back of his shirt.

"I'm sorry for not being here more. I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me." he cried holding her tight. He was sorry for a lot of things.

"It wouldn't have done any good, but thanks Baby." she cried into his chest.

* * *

"Roger, we have to talk." Keely said quietly sitting up in the bed taking the top of the sheet with her to cover her chest.

"What's wrong Keel? Are you OK?" he asked looking over at her seeing a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm fine Roger. It's um... it's Mimi. She's um... she's..." she started choking back tears.

"Lower. Oh God." he said quietly as he ran his fingers through his hair looking into her beautiful blue eyes. The same ones that knocked him on his ass all these years. They were glistening with tears.

"What are we gonna do?" she asked wiping a lone tear that had escaped from her cheek.

"There's nothing to do Keel. We've all been positive for quite some time. It was only a matter of time." he said taking her into his arms.

"How can you act like this is no big deal? One of our friends, my best friend and your ex girlfriend is dying." she yelled pulling away from him before getting out of bed, taking her robe to put it on.

"Keely, of course it's a big deal, but I'm just glad it's not you or me, OK?" he yelled picking up his boxers from the floor before putting them on.

"It could be Roger. It could be either of us. Both of us. Our daughter. Do you think Mimi would be breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn't her?" she asked looking over at him.

"Of course not Keely, I'm sorry that it's Mimi. I'm just saying that I'm glad it's not you or Angel." he said walking over to her.

"Me too. Is that horrible? Does that make me a terrible person? A terrible friend?" Keely asked hysterically.

"No Baby. You're not. You're human. It's a natural human reaction." he whispered taking her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry Roger. God forgive me." she cried gripping him tight.

* * *

Mimi wanted to be the one to tell the kids. Roger and Keely dropped the girls off at Mimi and Oliver's apartment and went home to wait. Mimi had promised to call and tell them how it went.

"Are you OK Aunt Mimi? I mean, right now, are you OK?" Angel asked sitting across from Mimi.

"Yeah sweetheart. I'm OK for now. Um... me and Collin are gonna be going on tour with you guys when your parents go, so we can spend a lot more time together." she smiled through her tears with her arm around Collin's shoulder. He was quiet.

"We can be their groupies." Randi joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Or their roadies. Can you see us carrying the speakers?" Mimi laughed looking down at Collin.

"I'm gonna go to my room." he said getting up from the couch. He was obviously upset by the news.

"Collin, wait." Mimi called out as Randi stopped her.

"Let me Aunt Mimi. I think I should talk to him." she said holding Mimi's hand.

"Thank you sweetie." she smiled quietly as Randi went into Collin's room.

"Get out Randi. I don't want to talk right now." he told her quietly looking at the wall. It had a poster of Roger and Oliver's band on it.

"I know what you're going through, you know? With my parents and Angel..." she started when he interrupted her.

"You don't know anything Randi. You've only had to deal with this for 5 minutes. I've known since I was 9." he yelled turning to look at her. There were tears in his light brown eyes.

"Oh Papi, you've known and you've been dealing with it all by yourself?" Mimi cried from the door where she and Angel were standing.

"Yeah mom. I heard you and dad talking and then I found your pills in your room. I've known this whole time mom. I looked it up and put it together." he said looking over at her.

"I'm so sorry Papi. Why didn't you try to talk to us?" she asked walking over at him.

"And what was I gonna say? So mom when are you gonna die?" he asked holding back tears as he looked down at her.

"But you shouldn't have had to deal with this alone? You were a little boy." she said looking up at him.

"I'm not a little boy mom. I haven't been for a really long time. With dad away on tour all the time, I have to be the man. Make sure nothing happens to you." he insisted looking down at her.

"Oh Papi, you're growing up to be such a good man. I forget that sometimes." she said looking up at him.

"Yeah well, with dad and all my uncles, how could I not be?" he asked looking down at her as she took her not so little 12 year old into her arms.

"Aunt Mimi, we're really sorry you're sick." Angel interjected as she and Randi stood by watching them.

"Thank you chiquitas. But I'm not sick. At least not yet. And I don't plan on going down without a fight. I'm planning on beating this for as long as I can." she told her wiping her eyes.

"If anyone can do it, it's you mom. You're the strongest woman I know" Collins smiled looking down at his mother.

"Thank you Papi." she smiled lifting her hand to caress the side of his face.

* * *

"Mimi said the girls want to spend the night over there with her and Collin." Keely said quietly coming out of her bedroom as Roger worked on a song in the living room.

"Did she say how they took it?" he asked looking up from his song book.

"They just found out the first of their five HIV positive relatives is sick. How do you think they took it Roger?" she snapped fighting back tears.

"Right. Sorry Keel. Um... I'm working on a song. Do you wanna hear it?" he asked trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you Baby. It's just so hard. I mean anyone of us could be next. I'm just on edge." she said sitting down next to him on the couch.

"I know Keel. I try not to think about that. I have too much to live for to think about leaving now." he said taking her into his arms.

"Yeah, me too." she cried holding him tight.


	68. Chapter 68

"Are they asleep?" Oliver asked as Mimi came out of Collin's room where the kids were sleeping.

"Yeah, finally." she whispered sitting next to him on the couch.

"They're just scared Baby. They weren't expecting this." he said putting his arm around her.

"Me neither." she told him quietly resting in his arms.

"It'll be OK Baby. No more shit. You and Collin can come on tour with us and we'll spend as much time as we can before you really start getting sick." he said looking down at her.

"No more groupies?" she asked looking up at him cautiously.

"What are you talking about Baby?" he asked playing stupid.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about Oliver." she told him getting up from the couch and going into their bedroom.

"Roger told you, didn't he?That son of a bitch. He made me swear not to tell you. Just so he can look like the hero, as usual." he said angrily following her.

"No Oliver, Roger did not tell me. I just knew. I can't believe he knew and didn't tell me." she told him trying to keep her voice down so the kids didn't hear her.

"Don't worry. He acted like your hero, like always. Made me swear not to tell you and reamed me a new one." he said looking over at her.

"He's not my hero. He's my friend. He's only looking out for me. Something you should have been doing since you are my husband and everything." she said looking up at him.

"I'm sorry I'm not the perfect husband like Roger. With all those women throwing themselves at him, he just sits in his hotel room on the phone with Keel. I'm not perfect Mimi. You've been distant lately and I don't know, I snapped. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you." he said going over to her.

"Don't give me that shit Oliver. You cheated and you got caught. Your wife is dying, poor Oliver. Have there been others?" she asked walking away from him.

"No, ever before. I swear Mimi. In all these years, this was the only time." he said walking over and taking her hand.

"Yeah well, it's done Oli. No more groupies and no more being away from you family. Collin needs you to be a full time father." she said looking up at him.

"I will be Mimi. I swear. I made so many mistakes over the years, but being away from you and our son is the biggest one. If it wasn't touring, it was recording or promoting or something else that kept me away from you, but no more. I want to spend the rest of your life showing you that you didn't make a mistake marrying me. I want you to know that you're loved before you die." he said taking her face into his hands.

"Thank you Oliver. I love you too." she whispered leaning up to kiss him before they held one another in a tight embrace.

* * *

"How much clothes does one girl need?" Keely complained as they stood in the laundromat.

"Well between Allie and Maureen, obviously not enough." he laughed looking over at her as she folded Randi's clothes.

"I swear I wasn't this bad at her age." she laughed looking at the differences between Randi's and Angel's piles.

"That's because you're perfect. Randi takes after me." he laughed folding his arms across his chest.

"Are you comparing yourself to a 13 year old girl?" she laughed looking down at him.

"No, I'm just saying. Randi isn't as perfect as you and Angel are. It's not bad or anything, it just makes her high maintenence, like her old man." he smiled looking up at her.

"Yeah, you can say that again." she muttered picking up another shirt of Randi's and folding it.

"You woman, are lucky I love you so much." he laughed getting up and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You can say that again." she smiled turning around in his arms and leaning up to kiss him.

"Come on, let me help you Baby." he smiled looking down at her.

"But Roger, you don't know how to fold laundry. Remember? You've avoided it all these years." she laughed looking up at him.

"But the sooner we get done with this, the sooner we can get home and be alone together before the girls get out of school." he whispered leaning down kissing her neck.

"Mmmm, you have a one track mind Mr. Davis." she groaned looking up at him.

"Only when it comes to you Mrs. Davis." he smiled kissing her more.

* * *

"Roger, I don't know about this." Keely said packing her suitcase.

"What do you mean? Keel, I thought you wanted to go back on tour. We already have shows set up in all the major cities." he said looking over at her from the bed.

"I know, but Roger, with Mimi the way she is. I just don't know if it's the right time for her to be leaving the city. She needs to be close to her doctors and the hospital." she said looking over at him.

"Keel, she'll be fine. The reason why we picked just the major cities is because of the good doctors and hospitals. She'll be OK. We'll take care of her." he said looking over at her.

"I know, it's just... when she really starts getting sick... we don't know how long that's gonna take. Gordon didn't last a year after he was diagnosed with full blown AIDS. I don't know if I can handle being on the road with her and the kids when that happens." she said sitting on the bed with him.

"Gordon was a long time ago Baby. Mimi's on much better meds then he was. She's gonna be OK. You have to believe that." he said looking over at her.

"I know, but we don't know for sure that she's gonna be OK for the whole tour. I'm just having doubts about this Roger." she said looking up at him.

"Everything is gonna be OK Keel. Don't worry." he whispered taking her into his arms.

"I hope so Roger." she cried leaning into his safe embrace.

A/N: Sorry so short. I'm having a really hard time with writers block these days and I'm trying my best to finish this story up. I do have ideas for another story, but I've decided to keep it to myself until this one is done. The days of me keeping 3 or 4 stories straight are behind me. It's just too damn confusing. LOL. Anyway, thanks for your patience. I'll try to get this one done soon. And don't forget to review. Many are reading it but I'm not getting as many reviews. Thanks.

Renthead621


	69. Chapter 69

"This is gonna be so much fun. I can't believe we're actually going on tour with daddy." Angel called out excitedly as she and Randi got ready to leave for the tour.

"Yeah well, with Aunt Mimi sick, I don't think it's such a good idea. She should be here close to her doctors and the hospital. In case something happens to her." Randi said tying her sneakers.

"Randi, Aunt Mimi is fine right now. Why are you being so negative?" Angel asked looking over at her.

"I'm not being negative Ang, I'm being realistic. What if Aunt Mimi gets sick on the tour? What are we gonna do for her then? We'll be away from her doctors and she could die out there." she said looking over at her.

"Dad said that we're only going to the major cities so she can go to the doctor if she needs to." Angel argued looking over at her sister.

"But what if we're in the middle of nowhere one night on the bus and she starts getting worse? Then what? She'll be at the mercy of this damn disease." she yelled looking over at her.

"Randi stop talking like that." Angel yelled as Roger and Keely rushed into the girls bedroom.

"What the hell is going on in here? Why are you two yelling at each other?" Roger asked standing in the doorway.

"Randi thinks Aunt Mimi is gonna die during the tour. She's not gonna die, right daddy? We're gonna take care of her. She's gonna be OK." Angel asked rushing over to Roger.

"Randi, she's gonna be fine. She's strong and on really good meds. Her doctor said it would be OK for her to come on the tour. He wouldn't have told her that if he believed that she wasn't gonna be OK." Keely said walking over to her daughter.

"But mom, you know as well as I do that this thing can take a turn for the worst in no time at all. How can you promise that she's gonna be OK?" Randi asked looking up at her mother.

"Because we have to have faith Randi. I know you're frustrated, but fighting with your sister is not gonna make it better." Roger said looking over at her.

"I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry Angel. I'm just really scared for Aunt Mimi. I just don't want her to die while we're on tour." Randi said holding back tears.

"Oh my sweet girl. All of this effects you more than any of us realize, doesn't it?" Keely asked putting her arms around her daughter.

"This is just the beginning. I'm gonna lose you, dad, Uncle Collins and Angel too." she cried wrapping her arms around Keely's waist.

"I know honey. I'm so sorry. We're all so sorry." Keely cried holding her daughter tight as Roger and Angel looked on. Angel was crying and Roger was holding back his own tears.

* * *

"This is gonna be so cool. Dad, do you think I can play with you guys one night?" Collin asked looking up at Oliver as they rode the tour bus down an unknown highway.

"Hey, if Collin gets to, I should too. I'm older than him." Randi argued looking up from her video player.

"But I'm better at playing then you are. And I'm a guy. I should be up there with them before you." Collin said looking over at her.

"Hey, hey, hey. Enough arguing. First of all, just because Randi is a girl, it doesn't mean she can't rock out with the guys. Aunt Keely plays a mean guitar." Roger said looking over at them.

"See, I told you." Randi taunted sticking her tongue out at Collin.

"Randi, why don't you do some school work instead of tormenting your cousin? Your teacher said you need to finish that book report by friday." Keely suggested coming from the back of the bus where the bedrooms were.

"But it's only sunday mom. I have plenty of time." she whined looking over at her.

"Yeah, well you have to read the book first. You can't do a book report without reading the book." Keely smirked reaching into the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought when we came on this tour we were gonna have some fun. This blows." Randi complained looking down at her lap.

"When you go on tour with your own band, you can have as much fun as you want. But right now, you're on tour with your parents, so you have to do what you're supposed to do. Get that book report done." Roger smiled eating a carrot stick.

"Yes daddy. But if I get it done, can I have some fun? Please?" she pleaded looking up at him.

"We'll see. Just concentrate on getting your book report done." he smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks daddy." she smiled putting her video player down to pick up her book and start reading.

* * *

"Be good for Aunt Mimi and we'll see you guys after the show. We love you." Keely smiled leaning down to kiss her daughters before taking the stage.

"We will. Rock the house mom." Angel smiled looking up at her.

"Break a leg mom." Randi smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks guys." Keely smiled heading off onstage.

"Ready Baby?" Roger asked putting his arms around her.

"Yeah, I'm ready. I love you Roger." she smiled looking up at him.

"I love you too Keely." he whispered leaning down to kiss her before leading her up on the stage.

* * *

"Oh my God. That was so invigorating. I don't remember it being like that before." Keely laughed rushing off stage.

"Well you've never played in front of a sold out crowd before. At least not at a venue this big anyway." Roger laughed looking down at her.

"You were great Keel. We missed you up there." Danny smiled looking over at her.

"Thanks sweetie. I missed being up there." she smiled looking up at him.

"You really were amazing mom." Angel smiled looking up at her wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you sweetie. But why are you crying?" she asked looking down at her.

"I'm just glad I got to see you onstage. You look so happy up there." she smiled laughing herself off.

"I am happy up there. But being your mom makes me happier than anything in the world. You girls know that, right?" she smiled wrapping her arms around both of her girls.

"We know mom." Randi smiled hugging her tight.

A/N: I ended this story abruptly and I'm sorry for that. I was stressed out and just wanted this story out of my hair. Now that I've had some time to think, I've decided to start writing it again. I hope you all forgive me for ending it so suddenly. More chapters will be up soon. Thanks.

Renthead621


	70. Chapter 70

After the concert, everyone retired to their rooms at a local hotel. Randi and Angel went right to sleep in a room that connected to Roger and Keely's. Mimi was tired, so she and Oliver went to sleep in their room as well. Collin and Seth were sharing a room. Much to Seth's dismay, since Collin didn't calm down until well after midnight because he was so hyped up. Keely sat up in hers and Roger's bed, going over the kids school work from that day. "The girls are sound asleep." he told her quietly entering the room.

"They had a long day. School work, rehearsal, sound check and the concert." she looked up from the papers.

"Yeah, so did their parents." he began stripping down to his boxers before joining his wife in bed.

"Feeling a bit old are we?" she smiled looking over at him.

"Tired of touring." he said looking up at her. The look on his face was serious.

"What does that mean?" she asked taking her glasses off.

"I'm thinking that this will be the last tour. For real this time." he said looking over at her.

"But Roger, you're the one who wanted me to come back and now you're pulling the plug, why?" she asked setting her glasses and the papers on the nightstand next to her.

"I'm 40 years old Keel. I'm... I'm ready to call it quits. I just want to be home with my family now." he began laying down in the bed, pulling the comforter up to his waist.

"But we decided years ago that this was your dream and you were gonna follow it." she said turning towards him.

"Yeah, and I did. Now I want to stay home and be with my family. I missed out on too much in my kids lives and... our life for that matter."

"You didn't miss out on anything Roger. We agreed that this was what you were gonna do. To show your girls that nothing is out of reach. That hard work and determination is all you need to make your dreams come true. Why would you decide this now? Are you..." she started holding back tears.

"No, I'm not sick Keel, I just don't want to wait until I am to realize that my place is with my family. My girls need me. They're teenagers already and I missed out on most of their lives. I wanna be a father... a husband again." he looked over at her.

"Don't give me that shit Roger. You are too talented to quit just like that. What is this really all about?" she asked getting out of the bed.

"Keel, I've been away for a lot of important things in their lives. Recitals, shows, parent teacher conferences... anniversaries. I don't want to be away for those moments anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of their lives dragging them around on a tour bus or staying in hotel rooms either. I want them to have normal lives. With their mother and father sitting down to dinner with them every night and having family nights together, like they deserve. Not... not this. I mean, sure they like it for now, but what about when they want to date? As much as I hate the concept, they're teenage girls. They're gonna wanna date eventually and when they do, I don't want to have to drag them away from their boyfriends when it's time to go on tour again." he looked over at her as she paced around the room. She was wearing a pair of Roger's old pajama pants and one of his t-shirts.

"And you're not..." she started when he got out of bed to go to her.

"I swear I'm fine. I'm just... I'm not into it anymore. Maybe I can perform at clubs and bars in the city. Hopefully with my wife by my side." he smirked looking down at her.

"You still want me to perform with you? Even after this is done?" she asked surprised.

"Of course I do. I always want you to perform with me. Until we're too old and decrepit to do it anymore." he joked looking down into her blue eyes. The same eyes that always knocked him on his ass.

"Speak for yourself old man. I'm still young and hot." she teased looking up at him.

"Yes you are." he whispered picking her up like he used to and bringing her to the bed where they made love.

* * *

"Dad's gonna be home now? For good?" Angel asked looking over at Roger and Keely as they ate breakfast.

"Yes sweetie. Dad's gonna be home for good. No more touring away from home. He'll even be home for dinner every night." Keely smiled over at her daughter.

"That's awesome. And dad can help me with my guitar and homework." Randi called out excitedly.

"Pretty much, yeah." Roger laughed looking over at her parents.

"Does that mean you quit the band?" Angel asked looking over at him.

"Nah, I'm just gonna be playing in clubs and bars, like I used to. And your mom is gonna be singing with me too." he smiled looking over at them.

"Mom, that's the coolest." Randi smiled at her.

"Yeah well, we'll see how cool it is when me and your dad are arguing over lame 80's songs like me and your Uncle Oliver used to." she laughed as Roger reached down to take her hand.

"No arguing Baby. It's 5 against 1. We'll just tie you up in the back room." he laughed lifting her hand to his lips kissing it.

"Dad, you are evil." Angel laughed looking up at him.

"Yeah, we'll see who's evil when she's walking around the house singing New Kids on the Block or Tiffany."

"Eww, mom. That is super lame." Randi laughed at her.

"Hey, don't knock Tiffany. It's what attracted your father to me." she smiled over at then remembering the first time she met him.

"That it did Baby." she smiled looking into his wife's beautiful blue eyes.


	71. Chapter 71

2 months since the end of the tour and everyone's getting back into their routines. Angel and Randi have returned to school. Roger cut his ties with the record company because they didn't agree with his decision to quit touring. The band followed him out the door. Him and Keely have settled into a normal marriage. It was tough sometimes because they weren't used to being around each other all the time. Roger got his old job back at the bar. Even though he had plenty of money that he and Keely had saved up over the years, he needed to get out of the house and do something with himself. Keely had taken over the business end of the dance school, since buying Julia out a few years earlier. Mimi, with Angel's help, continued teaching dancing, considering the fact that she was slowly getting sicker. Keely and Roger are simultaneously planning a birthday party for the girls and an anniversary celebration for themselves. Angel wants a dance party, while Randi wants a rock and roll party. Making Roger jokingly regret quitting the road. Secretly, Roger is planning something special for Keely for their 14th wedding anniversary. With Mimi's help.

"Roger, if you don't stop stepping on my foot, so help me God..." Mimi yelled shaking her left foot for the 6th time that day.

"I'm sorry. I'm never gonna be able to do this." he called out frustrated with himself.

"It's a good thing Keel didn't get you to learn this years ago. She would have been crippled long ago." she joked limping over to the chairs.

"That's not funny Mimi. This is the only thing Keel ever wanted from me and I really want to do this for her." he said looking over at her.

"I know Roger. I think it's really sweet that you want to do this for her now, but why did you wait so long? I mean, she can't exactly prance around here like she used to anymore." she asked sitting down to take a rest.

"That woman has given me everything in the world. A career, 2 beautiful daughters, a life, love... how can I not give her the one thing she's always wanted from me? The only thing she ever wanted from me?" he asked looking down at her.

"I understand Roger. Seeing you with Keely always gave me peace. Knowing that I didn't give you up for nothing." she looked down at the floor.

"You didn't Mimi. When you broke up with me, I was confused. I didn't understand why, after everything we went through to finally be together... but then I met Keel and realized that you put my life, my happiness above your own. You sacrificed a lot for me to get to this day. This moment. For that, I'll always love you and be grateful of your friendship. Not only to me, but to Keel too." he sat down next to her.

"I'll always love you too Roger. You gave... you gave me my life back and made my sister the happiest woman in the world."

"It was bumpy for a while there, but we made it through. With a little help from our friends." he put his arm around his friends shoulder.

"Your love carried you through. I always believed that. You and Keel were born to find each other. Nothing could ever tear you apart. Ever." she insisted, holding back tears.

"I'm really gonna miss you Mimi." he whispered holding the smaller woman close to him.

"I'm really... gonna miss you too Roger." she cried softly into his chest.

"It's gonna be OK Mimi. Everything is gonna be OK. You made your mark." he comforted her.

"So did you." she whispered looking up at him. The man she loved a long time ago, but let him go so he could find complete happiness with the woman who was to become her best friend in the world.

"Come on. I gotta learn this. I don't want to be stepping all over Kelly's toes." he smiled softly.

"Yeah, you're just gonna be stepping all over mine." she laughed wiping the tears from her face.

"Another sacrifice you have to make for mine and Keely's love." he joked taking her hand to help her up.

"Story of my life." she laughed getting up as they continued their lesson.

* * *

"Mom, we gotta go." Angel called out coming out of her room. She was carrying her dance bag over her shoulder.

"Gimme a sec sweetie." Keely answered sitting at the kitchen table helping Randi with her homework.

"Do I have to go with you guys?" Randi asked looking over at her mother.

"Yes Randi Lynn. I don't know where your father is and I don't have time to drop you off at the loft with Aunt Allie. We can do the rest of your homework at the studio." she said helping her gather up her books.

"But mom, I'm almost 14. I should be allowed to stay home alone." she whined up at her.

"No way Randi. Now come on. You're gonna make your sister late." she scolded getting up from the table.

"Wait a minute. Randi's going?" Angel asked looking annoyed.

"Don't you start too Angel Lynn. Let's go girls." she yelled leaving the apartment. She was annoyed that Roger wasn't answering his cell phone and she didn't know where he was. When he quit touring he said it was because he wanted to spend more time with his family, but the last couple of weeks, he's been disappearing, not answering his cell phone and she didn't know where he was most of the time. When they arrived at the dance school, they were surprised at what they saw. "Um... what's... what's going on?" she asked standing in the doorway.

"Keel, um... it's... it's not what it looks like." he stammered letting go of Mimi as she rushed to shut off the music.

"It looks like you're taking dance lessons." Randi muttered as Keely hit her arm lightly.

"OK, maybe it is what it looks like. But... but I can explain." he said walking to them.

"Why are you taking dance lessons? After.. after all this time?" Keely asked looking up at him.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. I... I wanted to do something special for you for our anniversary." he said looking down at her.

"You... you're learning how to dance for our anniversary?" Keely asked as tears stung her eyes.

"Yeah, you always wanted to dance with me, so I figured I'd... I'd give it to you."

"That is the most wonderful thing you've ever done for me." she excitedly jumped into his arms, holding him tight around his neck.

"Yeah daddy, that is pretty cool." Angel smiled looking up at them.

"Thanks kiddo. But now my surprise is ruined." he held Keely in his arms.

"Don't worry dad. I don't think mom minds." Randi smiled at them.

"Come on kiddo, let's get changed for class." Mimi smiled taking Angel's arm.

"I think I'll go too. It looks like things are about to get gross." Randi laughed following them.

"Randi Lynn." Roger laughed looking over at his daughter.

"Roger that is the sweetest thing. Really." Keely smiled up at him.

"Yeah well, you always wanted to dance with me. I figured now I have the time to learn." he leaned in to kiss her.

"Thank you Roger. It means a lot to me that you're willing to do that for me."

"Anything for you, beautiful." he whispered burying his face in her long blond hair.

"Why is it that no matter how old I get, you always make me feel like I'm still that young girl who fell in love with you all those years ago?" she asked looking over at him.

"Because you'll always be that young girl who fell in love with me all those years ago. Nothing will ever change." he leaned in to kiss her. This time it was more passionate.

"Roger, I have to get some work done and I promised Randi I would help her with her homework." she whispered breathlessly holding him tight.

"How about you get some work done here, I'll help Randi Lynn with her homework and we send the girls to dinner with Mimi. We can have a night with just you and me." he whispered, passion dripping from his voice.

"Mmm, that sounds like an offer I can't refuse." she moaned leaning her head back as his lips found her throat and began kissing it.

"I was hoping you would say that." his voice was throaty as he continued nibbling her neck. Suddenly the door opened and a group of girls entered. Roger quickly put Keely down and pulled away from her.

"Hi girls." Keely laughed looking down at them.

"Hi Mrs. Davis." they all answered.

"Class will start in a few minutes, OK? I'll go get Mimi and Angel." she smiled taking Roger's hand bringing him to the back. "You are still a chicken shit when it comes to little girls." she laughed at him.

"They still freak me out. All those little girls running around in leotards and tutu's." he whispered as they got to the door to the office.

"Roger, you are the father of two little girls." she laughed turning to look up at him.

"I don't know if you noticed or not, but they're not so little anymore Keel. They're gonna be 14 years soon. Starting high school in the fall. They're not gonna need their old man anymore." he said leaning on the wall next to the door.

"Roger, they'll always be your little girls. They're never gonna be too old to need their daddy." she smiled taking his shirt in her hand before leaning up on her tippy toes to kiss him.

"Until their daddy is too old or sick to be any good to them." he said looking down.

"You are not gonna think about that, OK? Right now, we're gonna do what we always did." she said looking up at him.

"Love each other like crazy until it catches up to us." he mumbled looking over at her.

"That's right. How do you think we're doing so far?" she smiled looking up at him.

"Pretty good I guess." he smiled as she reached back to open the door to the office.

"Randi Lynn, get off the internet and get back to your homework." she called out seeing her teenage daughter on the computer.

"I was waiting for you. You said you would help me." she said looking up at her.

"I'm gonna help you today kid. Mom's got work to do." Roger said going over to the computer to turn off the monitor. Randi got out of the chair and went over to the couch. She took her math books out and opened them up.

"Great. You're worse at this stuff than I am." she groaned looking up at him.

"Yeah well, maybe between the two of us, we can get it." he smiled sitting next to her.

"It's algebra dad. It sucks." she complained looking up at him.

"I think we can do it. Now get your stuff out and we'll see what us Davis' can make out of it." he smiled watching her.

"How come it's so easy for Angel? We're supposed to be twins. Aren't we supposed to have like the same brain or something?" she asked looking up at him.

"No Randi, you're not supposed to have the same brain or something." he laughed looking down at her. "Listen, Angel is more like your mom. She likes to dance and she understands this stuff. You, unfortunately are like your old man. We have to work a little harder to get it through your thick head. But you will get it."

"But dad, I feel like an idiot. I mean, mom explains it to me like it's so easy, but I don't understand half of what she says and Angel gets it done so fast. She doesn't need mom to help her."

"You are not an idiot Randi. You're just smarter in ways Angel isn't." he smiled down at her.

"How?" she asked looking up at him.

"You can read music, but Angel can't. You can not only play lead guitar, you're learning bass too. And you take care of Angel when something goes down. You've got street smarts. Not everyone can have street smarts." he put his arm around his daughter's shoulder.

"You have street smarts, right dad?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah kiddo, I do. That's where you get it from. You're a chip off of the old block." he smiled bringing her close to him as Keely watched out of the corner of her eye and smiled.

"Cool. I like being like you." she smiled looking down at her book as she and Roger worked on her homework.


	72. Chapter 72

"Aunt Mimi, does... does it hurt? Being sick?" Angel asked as she and Mimi sat in the living room of Mimi and Oliver's apartment. Colin, Oliver and Randi were in the other room playing their guitars and arguing about music.

"No mama, it doesn't hurt at all. Actually, it's freeing." she explained reaching over to take her niece's hand.

"How... how is it freeing?" she asked confused.

"It's been hanging over my head for so long. I started taking things for granted. You girls and Colin, your uncle... our family. Knowing how close I am now, I can put my life, what's left of it anyway, into perspective. Kind of like a wake up call." she smiled as the girl looked down into her lap.

"I don't want to lose you Aunt Mimi. Ever since mom's leg got worse, you're the only one in the family who gets me." she looked up with tears in her eyes.

"Oh chica, don't you know by now that you will never lose me. I will always be there looking down on you and this family. Just like your Auntie Angel has for all these years." Mimi brought her niece into her arms.

"But we still need you here with us. Uncle Oliver and my parents need you too. We all need you. Without you, my dad would have never met my mom and me and Randi wouldn't be here. Without you, we wouldn't have a family." she cried softly into Mimi's small shoulders.

"OK my Angel, it's OK. Let it out. I know chica. You are such a sweet girl. Everything effects you so deeply, doesn't it?" she soothed the young girls blond hair, holding back her own tears.

"I'm really sorry Aunt Mimi. I'm just scared. After you, who... who's gonna be next. My mom, dad, Uncle Collins... me?" she cried looking up at her.

"Chica, it will not be you. You have a lot more living to do. You're gonna be fine." she whispered caressing her niece's cheek.

"How do you know? How do any of us know who's next? I don't want to lose any of you." she cried.

"I know chica." Mimi didn't know what else to say. She didn't want to leave this beautiful, amazing family anymore than they wanted her to.

"Uncle Oliver, are you scared?" Randi asked quietly as they listened to the conversation.

"Yeah Rand, I'm... I'm scared." he said looking over at her.

"I'm not." Colin said sitting on the bed.

"How can you not be scared Colin?" Randi asked looking over at him.

"Mom's not scared. She said she was gonna be looking out for us. She's still gonna be with us." he said looking down at his guitar.

"That woman. She has so much faith. So much love. I... I'm lucky that she finally said yes." Oliver smiled looking over at his son.

"What do you mean that she finally said yes? She didn't want to go out with you?" Randi asked smirking up at him.

"Nope. She was still in love with your dad. She only broke up with him so he could find your mom. She knew she was out there waiting for him to find her. I'd been putting the moves on her for a while, but one night, it was in the bar where your parents met, we were watching them joke around and your mom was trying to teach your dad how to dance to some stupid 80's song and he kept wrapping his arms around her and goofing around and me and your aunt got to talking. I guess, I was in rare form that night because I must have said something that she found intelligent, and she agreed to go out with me. History was made." he smiled remembering the night he and Mimi started dating.

"Did it ever bother you that dad and Aunt Mimi dated?" Randi asked looking up at him.

"Nope. Luckily she had the good sense to let him go so he'd have a chance to meet your mom and I'd have a chance to meet her. That was the best thing that ever happened to me." he smiled folding his arms across his chest.

* * *

"Oooh, chips. Gimme some." Keely called out as Roger came into the bedroom carrying a bag of potato chips.

"So what do you wanna do now?" he asked getting back into the bed, handing her the bag.

"I don't know. It's been a while since it was just you and me here. What do you wanna do?" she asked taking a handful of chips from the bag.

"I'm doing it. Just hanging out with my wife." he smiled sitting up against the headboard.

"How pathetic are we? A day alone, without our twin girls and we're sitting her in bed binging on chips." she laughed looking over at her.

"Hey, I don't know about you, but I think this is the perfect way to spend a day. It's been a while since we've done this."

"We've never done this Roger. We always went out or something." she smiled up at him.

"Well we were younger then." he laughed slipping his arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah well, I happen to thing we're still pretty young." she looked up at him leaning into his shoulder.

"Speak for yourself woman. I'm an old man." he kissed her head.

"Well old man, are you ready for another round?" she laughed tossing the potato chip bag onto the night stand.

"I can probably be coaxed." he laughed looking down at her before pulling her onto his lap. He leaned in to kiss her passionately as they began to make love.


	73. Chapter 73

"Dad, are you done yet. I gotta get in there." Angel yelled through the bathroom door.

"Is he still in there?" Randi asked coming out of her bedroom as Angel nodded leaning against the wall next to the bathroom. "Geez, he's been in there forever."

"Tell me about it. His hair is thinning, there's not much of it to mess with anymore." Angel said folding her arms in front of her.

"I heard that Angel Lynn." he called out as Randi covered her mouth laughing.

"Good." Angel laughed propping her foot on the wall behind her.

"He's such a dork." Randi laughed.

"You know, you girls know you missed me all the times I was gone." he said opening the bathroom door.

"Yeah and had we known you'd hog the bathroom, we wouldn't have." Angel said pushing past him, closing the door, pushing him out of the way.

"Hey. Can you believe her? Is she always like this?" he asked going into the kitchen.

"Dad, you've been in the bathroom for like an hour." she followed him.

"I haven't been in there that long." he said pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Dad, we're just not used to having to fight for the bathroom. Mom goes in, takes a shower, brushes her teeth and goes in her room. Since we only have one bathroom and now there's for of us here. It's a little crazy." she looked up at him.

"You're right kiddo. I'm... I'm sorry. Maybe we should think about getting a bigger place. Maybe one with 2 bathrooms and possibly 3 bedrooms." he eluded looking over his coffee mug at her.

"Are you serious? Me and Angel would be able to have our own rooms." she was excited at the prospect.

"Oh wow. I never thought about that." he teased looking down at her.

"Dad, you are such a dork." she laughed looking up at him. "That would be so cool. I've never had my own room before." she smiled up at him.

"I figured that would appeal to you." he laughed setting his coffee cup down on the counter.

"You are so awesome dad." she called out jumping up into his arms.

"What's awesome?" Angel asked coming out of the bathroom.

"Dad said that we might be moving into a bigger place with another bathroom and our own rooms." Randi smiled standing next to Roger.

"What's wrong with our room?" she asked looking over at Randi.

"But Ang, we'd get another bathroom. No more dad hogging up the bathroom." she smiled looking over at her.

"Whatever." Angel said storming into her bedroom, slamming the door.

"What's with her?" Randi asked looking up at Roger.

"I'll go talk to her." he said going towards the bedroom. "And no touching my coffee Randi Lynn." he called out as Randi snatched her hand away from his coffee mug. "Angel, I'm coming in." he called out knocking on the door before opening it.

"Go away dad. I'm not in a mood." she sniffled laying on her bed.

"Hey, is that any way to talk to your favorite guy?" he asked sitting on her bed.

"Sorry daddy, i just don't want to talk to anyone, OK?" she sobbed into her pillow.

"Not even your old man? Come on, you can talk to me about anything." he said looking down at her. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, it's just... you're trying to take Randi away from me." she cried hugging her pillow tight.

"I'm not trying to take Randi away from you. It's just... your mom and me were talking and we thought that since you girls are getting older that you'd want you own space. And another bathroom would be cool too." he said putting his hand on his daughters back.

"Daddy, why would you want to separate me and Randi? We've... we've been together our whole lives. Even before we were born. I don't want my own room." she sat up, crying into his shoulder.

"Oh Angel, it's not a punishment. You and Randi have been fighting for years for your own space. Your dancing and Randi's guitar playing... you've been driving each other nuts. We just thought..." he said looking down at her.

"But daddy, that's just me and Randi. Mom said that it's normal for sisters to fight." she said looking up at him. She was still crying.

"OK honey. OK. You don't have to if you don't want to." he held her close to him.

"But Randi's gonna be mad. She's... she's looking forward to having her own room." she cried looking up at him.

"Let me worry about Randi."

"But can we still have a new bathroom?" she asked through her tears.

"I think we can handle that." he smiled down at her.

"Good, because you take forever in the bathroom." she laughed sniffling.

"Yeah well, at my age it takes a while to look this young and cool." he laughed looking down at her.

"You're not old dad. You're the coolest dad ever." she hugged him tight.

"Thanks kiddo." he kissed her head. Roger got up and came out of the bedroom, running his fingers through his hair.

"Dad, I... I heard what Angel said in there. It's... it's OK. We don't have to move into separate bedrooms." Randi said sitting on the arm chair.

"Randi, I'm..." he started when she interrupted him.

"No, it's OK, really. I'm sorry I made it seem like I wanted to get away from her. I... I don't. We've been together a long time. It wouldn't be fair for you and mom to seperate after all this time, right?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm really sorry kiddo." he said sitting on the arm of the chair.

"Don't be, dad. I'm not." she looked up at him smiling. "Really, I'm fine."

"Thanks Rand. It means a lot to your sister." he leaned down to kiss her head.

"I know dad. It means a lot to me too. Who knows how we'd be if we had our own rooms all along? Probably not as close as we are now. Always arguing because we're different, but we have each others back when stuff goes down." she smiled leaning in to him.

"You're a good girl Randi Lynn Davis." he smiled putting his arm around her shoulder.

"In this family we take care of each other dad. You always taught me that." she leaned on his leg.

"Yeah, I guess I did." he smiled down at her.

When Keely got home later that evening, Roger told her about his day. Ever since he quit touring, they'd been talking about moving into a bigger apartment. Maybe even buying one for the girls. Of course they would still be close to the East Village. They would always be at home in bohemia. Although they were no where near hungry or frozen, they would always be bohemians. "Roger, Randi can't keep sacrificing herself for her sister. Her privacy, her independence. Angel is afraid of being without her but it's not fair to her. She's gonna lose Angel eventually. She's gotta learn how to be her own person. Without her sister." she looked up at him, tears brimming her eyes.

"She's looking out for her little sister Keel. How is that wrong?" he asked.

"Roger, I don't want one daughter to suffer for the sake of the other. I won't." she let go of him and began pacing around the apartment.

"What do you wanna do? Tell Angel, tough, you're getting your own room whether you like it or not?" he asked looking over at her.

"No Roger, we talk to her and explain the importance of compromise. We can look for a place where 2 bedrooms are adjoining or something. So they can sleep with their door open until they're comfortable sleeping alone. But Roger, they really need to become self sufficient." she said looking up at him.

"Adjoinging rooms, huh? I never thought of that. I guess that's why you're the mom." he smirked at her.

"Damn right." she smiled with her hands on her hips.

"Should we call a realtor to start looking at places?" he asked looking over at her.

"I don't see why not. I mean, I'll go in and talk to the girls about our idea, but yeah, we should start looking at places soon."

"Your idea Keel. I never would have come up with that. I just gave in when Angel started crying. You're the one who's good at delegating this stuff." he smiled walking over to her.

"I'm just used to delegating this stuff. You're a bit new still. You'll get the hang of it." she smiled looking up at him. She leaned up to kiss him before heading into the bedroom.

"Hey mom." Angel smiled looking up from her book as Randi flipped through her CD's.

"Hi girls. Um.. I wanted to talk to you about something." she said sitting on the bed closest to the door. Which was Randi's.

"What's up." Randi asked looking over at her.

"Your dad told me about the conversation you girls had with him about the new apartment." she said looking over at Angel.

"Mom, it's OK. I don't mind sharing a room with Angel at the new apartment. We can make the other room for Colin or something." she said looking over at her.

"Randi, you can't keep sacrificing for your sister. Angel, I understand that you don't want to be seperated from your sister, but you two have got to learn how to be independent outside of each other. You're... your almost 14 years old. In a few years, you're gonna be going to college, and I don't see you two going to the same college to stay together. Not with you following your music and you're gonna be going to dance school. You have two different futures ahead of you." she looked over at her girls.

"But mom, I understand. It's cool." Randi said reaching over to put her CD's on their shelf.

"How about we compromise?" Keely asked folding her good leg underneath her.

"How do you mean mom?" Angel asked looking at her confused.

"Well, how about we find an apartment with adjoining bedrooms?" Keely smiled over at her youngest daughter.

"What, like 2 bedrooms with a door seperating them?" Randi asked sitting up more.

"Exactly like that." she smiled at them.

"That would probably be really cool. I mean, we can keep the door open until we're comfortable sleeping with it closed." Randi smiled over at Angel who was being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Angel sweetie, how would you feel about that?" Keely asked looking over at her.

"But what if me and Randi grow apart. I mean, we've been together since before we were born. What if we get our own rooms and we barely talk to each other? I mean, we're 2 different people. What if the only way we can stay close is if we share a room?" Angel asked with tears stinging her eyes.

"Angel, I"m not only friends with you because mom and dad put us in the same room. We're friends because we're sisters and we look out for each other. Me being in a different room is not gonna change that." Randi said going over to Angel's bed.

"Randi, I know we're friends, but what if we get in our different rooms and you like being by yourself more than you liked being with me? You're my Aunt Mimi and Aunt Allie." she cried as Randi held her sister in her arms. Keely remained on the other bed holding back her own tears.

"That's not gonna happen. I will always get your back, little sister. I'm not gonna abandon you, I promise." she said soothing her sisters hair.

"If... if you wanna have your own room, I'll... I'll be OK with it." Angel told her catching her breath.

"I kind of like mom's idea. Connecting rooms could be really cool." Randi smiled at her.

"OK, thanks Randi." Angel smiled at her.

"I'm not just doing it for you. It'll be awesome. Maybe we can get a sliding door. It'll make our room look huge." Randi told her excitedly.

"We're gonna call a realtor and start looking at places. Probably this weekend." Keely smiled at them.

"Where are we moving to?" Angel asked looking over at Keely, wiping her eyes.

"We're gonna try to get a place as close to everyone as possible. You know, they can't live without seeing you girls all the time." she smiled looking over at them.

"Yeah, and poor Uncle Marky would freak out if daddy was too far away." Angel laughed.

"Well, he lived with daddy for a very long time. They depend on each other." Keely smiled looking over at them.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" Randi asked looking up at her.

"What's that sweetie?" Keely asked turning more towards them.

"How come Aunt Allie and Uncle Mark never had any kids? I mean, they would be really great parents." she asked as Keely looked down.

"I um... I don't know sweetie. They just didn't." Keely answered. She was uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. She knew the reason why Mark and Alison never had kids. "I'm gonna tell your dad that you girls are OK." she said getting up and leaving the room.

"How did they take your idea?" he asked looking up from his newspaper.

"They... they liked it." she told him quietly sitting on the couch.

"What happened?" he asked looking over at her.

"We got to talking about Mark and Randi asked why he and Allie never had kids." she said looking over at him.

"Did you tell them?" he asked folding his paper and putting it on the coffee table.

"Are you kidding? I wish I didn't know." she said sitting back into his arms, remembering when the girls were too young to remember much of anything.

_Keely, Roger, Collins and Manny sat in the waiting room at the hospital. Mark and Alison went into the delivery room nearly an hour and half earlier. She had been in labor nearly 18 hours and her contractions had stopped. The baby was going into distress, so they gave her something to advance her labor. Roger had his arm around Keely, who was laying her head on his shoulder. She was both physically and emotionally exhausted. Collins and Manny took turns pacing the floor. When Mark finally came out, his head was down and he was walking slowly. Too slow for it to be good news. Keely noticed him first and jumped up from her seat, startling an exhausted Roger. "How are they? Is everything OK?" she asked rushing over to Mark. He looked up at her and his face was had tears streaming down it. "No." she exclaimed, covering her mouth._

_"They couldn't get the baby out in time." he told her somberly. His voice was quiet._

_"What does that mean? What does he mean?" she asked looking up at Roger, backing up before hitting the wall and covering her face with her hands._

_"Baby..." Roger started, putting his hand on his wife's shoulder._

_"The baby, she's... she's gone. Her cord was..." he started explaining before breaking down. Roger rushed to his side catching him before he dropped to the floor, as Collins wrapped his arms around Keely._

_"Oh my God." Keely cried leaning into Collins._

_"Oh Mark, I'm..." Roger started before realizing that there was nothing he could say to make his friend feel better. He just needed to give him a shoulder to cry on._

_"And Allie started hemorrhaging, so they took it out..." he cried into Roger's shoulder._

_"Took what? What... what did they take?" Keely asked confused and upset._

_"All of it. She can never... we'll never..." Mark sobbed as tears fell from Roger's eyes._

_"I know man, let it out. It's OK, I'm right here. You're not alone." Roger whispered as his body shook from Mark's sobbing._

_"How? How can this happen?" Keely asked crying into Collins strong chest._

_"I don't know Babygirl. I don't know." he whispered, kissing her head over and over as Manny stood by helpless._

_"I'm so sorry Mark, you... you don't deserve this. You deserve better than this. You and Allie." Roger whispered looking over at Keely, who was being consoled by Collins. He was soothing her long blond hair, kissing her head tenderly, as she held on to him for dear life. He couldn't believe this was happening to them. Mark and Alison had never done anything but take care of their friends and here they were, not able to do the one thing they always wanted to do. Add to their family._

_"I... I gotta pull myself together. Allie will... be coming out of the anesthesia and... I have to be there." he said looking up at Roger before roughly wiping his face._

_"Mark, I'm really..." Manny started, he spoke very quietly._

_"Thank you Manny. Um... I gotta get back in. Allie needs me." he said looking up at her. His voice was nasal from crying._

_"Mark, tell her I love her, OK?" Keely cried looking over at him._

_"Thank you Keel." Mark said pulling himself together._

_"Go in to be with your wife, we'll be right here if you need anything. Both of you." Roger said holding back tears._

_"Thanks man. Thanks." he repeated before turning and going into the recovery room._

_"How could this happen to them Roger?" Keely cried as Collins passed Keely off to Roger. He held her tight in his arms before crying himself._

_"I don't know Keel. I don't know." he cried into her hair as she gripped the back of his shirt._

When Keely snapped out of her memories, she had tears rolling down her face. "You're thinking about that day, aren't you?" Roger asked looking down at her, holding her in his arms.

"Um... yeah." she told him quietly, wiping the tears from her face.

"I know Baby." he whispered kissing the top of her head.

"How do I explain to those beautiful, innocent girls that they were allowed to be here, even when one has HIV and their equally as innocent cousin couldn't?" she asked looking up at him.

"You don't Baby. We just keep it to ourselves." he whispered soothing her hair.


	74. Chapter 74

Roger and Keely rushed into the hospital's main lobby after dropping two very stubborn young ladies off at the loft. Mimi had been rushed to the hospital early in the morning hours with severe shortness of breath. No matter what she did, she just couldn't catch her breath and regulate her breathing. Collin went to the hospital with them, since it was too early to wake anyone. Therefore, the girls wanted to go too, but Roger and Keely didn't think it was wise until they knew more about Mimi's condition. But Keely had her fears. She wrung her hands as they rushed to the elevator towards the general ward. They stood in the elevator silently as they took the long ride up towards Mimi's room. Colin was standing outside one of the rooms and they rushed over to him. "How is she sweetie?" Keely asked trying to stay calm.

"I don't know. The doctor is in there and they wouldn't let me stay. Something about mom's privacy or something. But I know it's bull shit. It's always bull shit when they kick me out." the young man was obviously bitter. His hands were shoved inside his jeans pockets and his hair was sticking up all over the place.

"Do you want me to take you to Uncle Mark and Aunt Allie's? The... the girls are there. You can stay there until we know more. You'll... you'll be more comfortable..." Roger started, speaking quietly.

"What difference does it make? I know my mom's dying. I came to peace with it a long time ago, but I hate when they treat me like I'm a child. I'm not. I'm a man. I can handle the truth." he said looking up at Roger. He could see the tears in his eyes.

"I know man. Parents just want to protect their kids from all the fucked up shit that happens in the world. Sometimes, we're not so good at it." he said putting his hand on his nephew's shoulder.

"Yeah well, I wish they would stop. I haven't been a stupid kid for a really long time." he muttered leaning against the wall.

"No one thinks you're a stupid kid Colin. We all just... " Keely started before Roger interrupted her.

"We're all just trying to avoid it. We know your mom's dying and we're afraid to lose her. Not only because we love her so much, but also because when we do... any one of us could be next. Collins, me, Aunt Keely or Angel." Roger confessed to his nephew. He never told anyone but Keely how he felt about Mimi's illness, but he thought Colin deserved to know the truth.

"Thanks Uncle Roger. You're always really cool about treating me like a man." Colin said looking up at his uncle.

"Listen man, I'm... I'm really sorry you have to go through this, but I'm not sorry your parents had you. Just like I'm not sorry me and your aunt had Randi and Angel. You guys are the best things that ever happen to us." Roger pulled his nephew into his arms holding him tight. Just then, the door slowly opened. It was Oliver. His eyes were red and the bags under his eyes were clearly dark and swollen.

"How is she?" Keely asked wiping the tears from under her eyes.

"They had to put her on a breathing tube to help her breathe. It's... it's PCP." he told her in barely a whisper.

"What does that mean?" Colin asked looking up at Roger.

"It's... it's not good man. It means she doesn't have much time left." he explained, remembering how they lost Angel.

"She um... she wants everyone to go home. She... doesn't want anyone to see her like this." Oliver told them, standing against the wall.

"Like hell we're going home. What does she think, that we're just gonna let her go through this alone. Like the last time we saw her was gonna be the last time?" Keely was clearly upset by the thought of never seeing her best friend again.

"Keel, please. She's... she's not going anywhere today." Roger said looking down at his wife.

"How do you know? How do any of you know?" she asked pushing past Oliver and storming into the room. "Mimi." she gasped looking over at her friend. She looked so helpless. Mimi just stared up at her, unable to speak. The breathing tube that was lodged in her throat prevented that. She struggled to raise her weak arm. "It's OK chica. This is not the end. Not yet." she said sitting next to the bed. "We won't let it. We won't allow it." she grasped her hand and held it tight. Roger came up behind her and put his strong hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Hey Mimi. You look like hell." he told her trying to be funny, but Mimi just gave him a sympathetic look. "Um... we're gonna take Colin home with us so you and Oliver can be alone." he offered as Keely looked up at him.

"No, I'm staying." Keely insisted looking up at him.

"No Keel. We're taking the kids home with us so Oliver and Mimi don't have to worry about anything else but her. We'll be back later or tomorrow." he told her sternly.

"Mimi, is that OK sweetie?" she asked as her best friend nodded her head.

"OK, we'll... we'll go. But I will be back later. I promise. I love you chica." she whispered leaning over to kiss her head. She turned and left the room. "Roger, why did you do that? Since when do you order me around?" Keely fumed looking up at him as they got into the hall.

"Keel, I'm not ordering you around. You're not thinking straight. The last thing Oliver and Mimi need is to worry about taking care of you. For now, we take the kids home and prepare them for what's coming up." he said taking her by her shoulders.

"How can this be happenning? This can not be happening. We need more time. I want more time." she insisted as Roger pulled her to him tightly.

"There is no more Baby. I wish there was, but... but there isn't any more." he whispered kissing her head. They wiped their eyes before heading off to find Colin and Oliver. They told Oliver their plan and Colin reluctantly agreed to leave with them.

A/N: Sorry it was so short. I struggled with how to do this, but there really was no easy way. I hope you enjoyed it. I have more chapters written up and almost ready to be posted, so get ready.

Renthead621


	75. Chapter 75

"Mom, are you... are you ready?" Randi asked entering Roger and Keely's bedroom. Roger was out in the kitchen drinking a glass of water and Angel was in her room fixing her hair for the hundredth time. When Randi opened the door, Keely was lying on the bed, dressed in black and crying into a pillow. "Mommy." she called out rushing over to the bed. "It's OK mom. Aunt Mimi is with Auntie Angel and Uncle Randi now. She'll... she'll be looking down on us like they've been." Randi laid her head on her mother's shoulder, stroking her long hair.

"It's not fair Randi. It shouldn't be her. We shouldn't be doing this. We thought if we ran fast enough, it wouldn't catch us, but here it is." she rambled crying into her pillow.

"I'm gonna go get daddy, OK?" Randi offered.

"What's he gonna do? He's as powerless as the rest of us." she cried into the pillow.

"I'm still gonna go get him." she whispered rushing out of the room. "Dad, mom needs you. Bad." she called out looking over to Roger.

"I'm coming." he told her quietly before rushing into the bedroom. "Keel." he called out going over to the bed. He picked her up into his arms and laid her head into his chest.

"It's not fair Roger. I don't want to do this. I don't want to bury my best friend. I shouldn't have to bury her." she cried gripping his shirt for dear life.

"I know Keel. I know." he whispered stroking her hair. He was attempting to comfort her, but he knew there was no comfort for the kind of pain she was feeling. They were all feeling. For those who were keeping track, this was loss number one this family would have to endure and Roger, Keely, Collins and Angel were keeping track. Angel was very quiet about the events following Mimi's hospitalization. Keely mourned and Roger and Randi were frozen. They hated seeing the people they love hurting, but at the same time knew that this was just the beginning. The funeral was set to be small and intimate. In the same church Angel Dumot Schunard was laid to rest so many years earlier. There were sure to be people from Life Support, but the only people who were invited were the bohos. It's what Mimi wanted. Her mother moved to Florida a few years earlier and she wasn't close to the rest of her family. They lost touch just before she and Roger got together. Her drug use was too much for them. And when she got clean, they didn't believe that it would last long. It never did.

The bohemians were all asked to say a few words and Colin was asked to play guitar as Roger sung Your Eyes, one last time. The words still held true. Especially the part about how he would always love her. Only these days the love was a friendship love. Keely insisted on not being involved in anything. She felt the biggest blow. She not only lost her best friend and her sister, she lost the woman responsible for giving her her life. Giving her Roger. She honored her more than anyone. Everyone else seemed to make their peace with Mimi's passing, but not Keely. Years ago, she and Roger vowed to love each other like crazy until the HIV caught up with them and now it's caught up with them. They just lost the first of their loved ones to this incurable disease. Roger looked down at his wife as she cried uncontrollably into his shirt. "Daddy, we... we gotta get going." Angel ducked her head into the bedroom and told him quietly.

"We'll be out soon sweetheart. Make... make sure your sister is ready." he told his daughter before looking down at his wife again. "Baby, we gotta go. They're expecting us." he whispered kissing her head as he moved her hair out of her face.

"I don't want to go. I'm not going. I... I can't do this." she cried.

"You have to do this Keely. You have to do it for Mimi. She loved you so much. You owe it to her to say goodbye." he caressed her hair as he spoke.

"I loved her so much Roger. She was not only my best friend but she was my sister. My soulmate. If that makes any sense. We completed each other. Without her... I... I don't know where I would be." she cried looking up at him.

"So tell her that Baby. But you have to say goodbye to her. You will never forgive yourself if you don't." he told her caressing her wet face. She looked up at him, knowing he was right.

"I... I just need to get cleaned up and fix my hair. I probably look scarier than when I gave birth to the girls." she said swiping her hands across her wet face.

"Keely..." he started when she interrupted him.

"Roger, don't ask me if I'm OK please. Because the answer definitely no." she said walking into the bathroom that was connected to their bedroom. Roger took a deep breath and got up from the bed before going into the living room.

"Daddy, is mom OK?" Randi asked jumping up from the couch. Angel was sitting next to her quietly.

"No Randi, she's... she's not gonna be OK for a very long time. She just lost her best friend in the world. So please don't ask her if she's OK at all today." he exhaled frustrated.

"Right, sorry... um... sorry dad." she said looking down.

"No, I'm sorry Randi. I know this is hard on all of us, but you know how much your mom and Aunt Mimi loved each other. This is... this is very hard on her and we need to be understanding right now. You girls and Colin have each other and I have Uncle Mark, Uncle Collins and Uncle Oliver, your mom may have been roommates with Aunt Allie all those years ago, but Aunt Mimi was the closest your mom ever had to a sister. They shared everything and now she feels like, with Aunt Mimi gone, her other half is missing. Please just, give your mom some space, OK?" he asked looking at his girls.

"Sure daddy. Um... I'm gonna go get my coat and my pocket book from my room." Angel told him quietly rushing into her bedroom.

"This is the beginning, isn't it daddy?" Randi asked fighting tears.

"I'm so sorry. You are such beautiful, sweet young ladies and you're gonna have to deal with so much in your life. It's just not fair to you, is it?" he raised his hand to his older daughters face and caressed her.

"I'll be fine daddy. We... we just have to focus on mom right now." she shrugged his hand from her face as Keely exited her bedroom. "Mom, are you ready to go?" she asked looking over at her.

"No. But apparently I don't have a choice in the matter." she answered bitterly putting her coat on and heading towards the door.

"Angel, are you ready? We're leaving." Roger called out passing the young woman's bedroom.

"Yeah dad. I'm... I'm right here." she rushed out of her room as Keely opened the apartment door. They all followed her out as she walked as if in a trance. Her arms hung heavily at her sides as she clutched her purse in her right hand. It swung at her side, hitting her leg with each step. Roger wanted to scoop her up into his arms again and never let her go, but he knew there was someplace they needed to be. And the fact of the matter was, he couldn't protect her from this pain. Pain she would be feeling for years to come as she lost one more friend and then half of her family as well as fighting for her own life in the not so distant future. Roger was dreading the day that he would lose his wife and have to leave his teenage daughters. As they made their way to the church, Oliver stood outside with Collins smoking a cigarette. Colin was on the side of the church practicing his guitar and everyone else was inside greeting the mourners. Unfortunately, there weren't many left.

"Dad, me and Angel are gonna go find Colin, OK? We'll see you inside." Randi told Roger quietly as he nodded at the 15 year old. Keely stood motionless staring at the ground.

"Babygirl, are you..." Collins started when Roger looked up at him. His eyes widened, signaling him not to ask that particular question.

"Baby, why don't you go inside and get a seat near Mark and Allie, OK? I'll be in in a minute." Roger whispered kissing her head before leading her up the stairs.

"OK." she told him monotone as she climbed the steps to the church and walking through the open doors.

"Is she OK?" Collins asked looking over at Roger.

"No. She just lost the best friend she's ever had. She's a damn mess and I'm afraid there is nothing I can do to save my wife." Roger said taking a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it.

"Dude, you quit." Oliver said looking up at him.

"Yeah, going through a little bit of stress at the moment, so if you don't mind." Roger snapped taking a long drag.

"How bad is she?" Oliver asked looking up at him.

"Worse than I've ever seen her and that's including Angel's diagnosis. I'm afraid she's gonna go back to drinking. I've been watching her like a hawk for the last couple of days." he took another drag from the cigarette.

"I knew she was gonna be really bad. But I never imagined..." Oliver said looking up at the church.

"Listen man, I'm really sorry. I mean, you just lost your wife and here I am bitching about how mine is... it's not fair of me. I'm sorry." Roger threw a half a cigarette into the street before putting his hand on his friends shoulder.

"Rog, I understand. I mean, I came to peace a long time ago that I was gonna outlive my wife. When she died, she went to a better place. A place where this shit doesn't exist. She's with Angel now. And she gave me the most amazing kid on the planet, who is gonna remind me of her everyday for the rest of my life. I will always be grateful for having her in my life. But Keel... man, I knew she would be the worst. The way she and Mimi were together. I swear they should have married each other rather than us losers." he smirked remembering how his wife would come to life as soon as she and Keely were together.

"She didn't even want to come today. I had to force her to. She probably hates my guts right now, but she has to at least say goodbye to her." Roger turned to face the church. "You know, I remember all those years ago when we were here for..." he started before taking a deep breath. "I was such a bitter prick back then. I was bitter that we had just lost Angel and Mimi and I were on the outs, again, because she couldn't get off the damn drugs. I was afraid to lose her too... and I was jealous of her relationship with Benny... I called him yesterday." he said looking up at Collins.

"Is he coming?" Collins asked as Roger stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Nah, he decided that after all these years that it was probably best to stay away. With Allie and Mark... and all the years. He sent his condolences though. Um, I... I should get in to Keely. I don't want to leave her alone too long. I'll meet you inside." he said looking over at Oliver before making his way up the stairs and entering the church. He looked around and spotted Keely sitting in the front row of the church. She was staring up at Mimi's coffin blankly. He quietly walked up and sat next to her. "Keel, I love you." he whispered reaching down to take her hand in his.

"A lot good that's gonna do in the end." she whispered as tears rolled down her face. It broke his heart that his wife thought that way, but he knew she was right. In the end, all the love in the world couldn't save anyone. Angel and Mimi's death proved that. As the service started, Keely sat looking blankly at everyone. Colin, who seemed to struggle with the melody of Mimi's song for so many years, now played it to perfection as Roger sung it. Staring at his wife the whole time. Wishing he could see her beautiful blue eyes, but they were red and flooded with tears and pain.


	76. Chapter 76

A few months following Mimi's death and Keely was still in mourning. She had sunk into a very deep depression. She would lay in bed clutching a photo of her and Mimi dancing when they were younger. Before they were married with children. Before there was anything to worry about. There was such life in both of them and now Mimi was gone. She wondered about her own mortality now. She and Roger had been infected for almost half of their lives and now that Mimi was gone, she wondered how much longer they had.

Roger took care of the girls, giving Keely time to mourn her best friends death. He made sure she got her medication and ate some, but knew she just needed to be alone. It broke his heart to see his wife in so much emotional pain and not be able to do anything about it. He stood at the bedroom door, staring over at her as she stared blankly at the picture of her and Mimi. "Baby, can I get you anything?" he asked quietly.

"Can you bring my best friend back?" she asked still staring at the picture. She was nasal from crying.

"I'm so sorry Baby. I wish there was something I could do to help you." he walked into the bedroom to sit on the bed.

"Well you can't. Nobody can. Just... just leave me alone Roger. Please." she told him, pushing him away.

"I love you Keel. I hope you snap out of this soon. I... I need you." he told her quietly before leaving the room.

"Yeah well, I need my best friend back." she yelled as he shut the door.

The girls missed Mimi too, but they were glad she was with Aunt Angel now and she would be watching over them. Angel continued her dancing, but Randi had started writing. She would write about her life and what's going on in it. She still played her guitar, but not as much anymore. At first it was because she didn't want to disturb her mother, but then as she took to writing, that took up most of her time. As Roger walked through the living room, he looked heartbroken. "Daddy, is mom OK?" Angel asked looking up at him.

"No, she's... she's worse than I've ever seen her." he told her going into the kitchen for a can of soda.

"She'll be OK soon, right?" Randi asked following him.

"I don't know Randi. I don't know anything anymore. She's... she's in pain right now and I don't know how to make her better. I couldn't protect her." he exhaled before setting the soda can on the counter heavily. "Story of my life." he told her before leaning on the counter with his head in his hands.

"Dad, you couldn't stop Aunt Mimi from getting sick and you can't stop mom from being hurt by it. They were best friends. Mom's gonna miss Aunt Mimi for the rest of her life. Just like we will." Randi said looking over at him.

"Yeah I know, but there's a lot, over the years, I couldn't protect her from." his voice was silent and regrettful.

"You can't always protect her daddy. All you can do it be there for her when things go wrong and make sure she knows that you love her." Angel said walking over to him.

"Yeah well, I swore to her, your grandparents and myself that I would. Damn, I hate this." he called out bolting up.

"Dad, we're all doing the best we can. Mom's just gonna take a little longer." Randi reached up to caress his upper arm.

"Randi, it's... it's not supposed to be like this. We were gonna love each other like crazy until this shit caught up to us. Now that Aunt Mimi's gone... it has. I just don't know what to do anymore." he yelled out of frustration. The girls were taken a back. They had never seen Roger angry and frustrated before. He always kept himself reserved in front of his daughters. Growing up in the household he did, it was important to him that his daughters didn't know fear from their own parents.

"Keep... keep loving me Roger. Please. I... I couldn't stand it if I lost you too." Keely wept from the bedroom doorway.

"I will always love you Keely Lynn Davis. Never, ever, ever forget that. You are my life." he called out rushing over to her.

"I miss her so much Roger." she cried as he held her tightly in his arms.

"I do too Baby. She gave me everything. She gave me you." he whispered as she cried into his shoulder.

"I don't know how I'm gonna do this Roger. I'm... I'm so lost. What if we lose Collins next? Or you? I couldn't..." she cried harder as he stroked her messed up blond hair.

"We do what some crazy chic I met in a bar told me once, just love each other like crazy until that happens. That's what Mimi wants." he told her as the girls held back tears watching them.

A/N: Short and gut wrenching, I know. But it had to be written. I'll have more up later in the week.

Renthead621


	77. Chapter 77

Mimi's been gone 4 months and time seems to be rushing by. But slowly, at the same time. It seems like only yesterday when Keely and Mimi were having dance offs at the dance studio as Roger and the other cheered them on. Yet, it seems so long ago. In reality, it was less than 16 years ago. Before marriage and children were thrown into the mix. It was just them. The bohemians living for their art, despite their illness. They didn't have a care in the world. Keely wandered around the apartment, straightening things up. She went into Randi's room to put some laundry away when she noticed her guitar. It was on the stand in the corner of the room. She picked it up, sat on Randi's bed and set it on her lap. She began strumming and noticed some colorful picks on the nightstand. She leaned over and grabbed one before picking at the strings. Her fingers gripped the neck as her fingers began to form notes. The tune that came out was Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton.

_Would you know my name_

_If I saw you in heaven_

_Would it be the same_

_If I saw you in heaven_

_I must be strong_

_And carry on_

_Cause I know, I don't belong, here in heaven_

_Would you hold my hand_

_If I saw you in heaven_

_Would you help me stand_

_If I saw you in heaven_

_I'll find my way_

_Through night and day_

_Cause I know I just can't stay, here in heaven_

_Time can bring you down_

_Time can bend your knees_

_Time can break your heart_

_Have you begging please_

_Begging please_

_Beyond the door_

_There's peace I'm sure_

_And I know there'll be no more_

_Tears in heaven_

_Would you know my name_

_If I saw you in heaven_

_Would you be the same_

_If I saw you in heaven_

_I must be strong_

_And carry on_

_Cause I know I don't belong, here in heaven_

Roger stood outside the bedroom door, tears streaming down his face. Mimi's death hit him hard, but his focus was on helping Keely get through her pain. Hearing his wife sing that beautiful song in honor of someone who was loved so dearly released the reality. Mimi was gone. Keely set the guitar back on it's stand. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she got up to leave the room. Seeing Roger caught her by surprise. "Roger, I…" she started before looking up at him, seeing that he was crying. "Oh Roger." she called out wrapping her arms around his large, muscular frame.

"I miss her so much Keel." he whimpered holding her tight.

"I know Baby." she cried as his body shook with grief. She caressed his hair as he cried into her neck. "You've been so worried about me, haven't you?" she cried quietly.

"I was losing you Keel. When she died, a piece of you died with her. I… I had to try to bring you back to me." he pulled back looking down at her.

"Roger, you can never lose me. I'm… I'm your girl, remember?" she smiled through her tears.

"It's because of her. She beat the crap out of me until I asked you out. And when you got me back on stage, you became her favorite person." he laughed remembering that day.

"Yeah, she made no secret of that." she laughed for the first time in months.

"Yeah well, she knew she didn't let me go for nothing. I will always love her for her sacrifice." he lifted his hand to caress her face.

"Me too." she whispered smiling up at him. "Um Roger, I was… I was thinking that I want to get back on stage. I… I want to go back to performing. That is, if you and Oli are ready." she stammered looking up at him.

"We've been afraid to bring it up to you. We… we didn't know how you'd react." he looked down into her beautiful blue eyes.

"You've been so worried about me, you haven't had a chance to get your own grief out, have you?" she asked looking up at him.

"You were so bad Keel. I… I was just happy that you were finally getting out of bed." he explained looking down at her.

"I'm so sorry Roger. You… you loved her before I even knew her." she said looking up at him.

"I will always love her Keel. She sent me to you." he held her in his arms.

"I want to sing that song for Mimi. She… she always liked it." she said looking up at him.

"OK Baby. That's what we'll do then." he leaned down to kiss her head before holding her close to him.

"I was thinking of laying down for a little while. Do… do you want to come with me?" she asked looking up into his eyes.

"I'd really like that Keel." he smiled as they walked towards their bedroom and shut the door.

* * *

"Dad, can… can I talk to you for a minute?" Randi asked sticking her head into Roger and Keely's bedroom.

"Sure kiddo, what's up?" he asked looking up from the papers from the dance school that he had brought home with him.

"Is… is mom sick?" the teenager asked staring down at her hands, sitting on the foot of the bed.

"No. Randi Lynn, what would make you think your mother is sick?" he asked sitting up straighter on the bed.

"I don't know, I mean, ever since Aunt Mimi died she's been really bad and she all of a sudden wants to get back onstage. Like she has to do it before it's too late or something." she said looking up at him.

"She's just sick of missing her best friend sweetie. She… she wants to honor her." he said leaning towards her.

"It's just… me and Angel were scared that she was sick and that's why she wanted to get back to singing. So does that mean that she's better now?" she asked looking up at him.

"She's never gonna be over losing Aunt Mimi, but yeah. She's a bit better. At least better than she's been lately and I think we have you to thank for that." he smirked at his oldest daughter.

"How do you figure?" she was confused.

"Your guitar. She went into your room yesterday to do something, I'm not sure what, but I came home and she was playing a song Aunt Mimi liked on it. I… I think that's what made her want to go back. We had a long talk after that and she was more excited than I've seen her in a long time." he smiled at her.

"I'm glad dad. I missed having mom around." her smiled was bitter sweet.

"Me too kid. But I think mom's back." he moved closer to his daughter, hugging her.

"You and mom deserve a happy ending after everything you've been through." she muttered into her father's chest.

"We have one. You." he kissed her head as Keely listened from outside the door. She was thinking about the great things her daughter would accomplish in her lifetime. It was the one thing she held on to all these years, since Angel was diagnosed. Her one healthy daughter who would carry on the love their family had for one another.


	78. Chapter 78

As you know italics are flashbacks.

"_What do you know about Roger Davis?" Keely asked looking over at Oliver sitting in the back room of the bar after rehearsal._

"_He used to sing for the Well Hungarians. He was really good too, until he got into smack and got all strung out. Why? Do you like him." Oliver asked taunting her._

"_Oli." She whined looking over at him. "See, this is why you never met any of my boyfriends in high school."_

_  
"OK Keel, I'm sorry. Um… what's this all about anyway?" he asked sitting on the chair backwards._

"_I don't know, there's… there's something about him, but I can't put my finger on it." She spoke quietly._

"_He's got a presence. If I remember correctly, he got his share of girls back then." He smirked looking over at her._

"_I don't doubt that." She said walking towards the door._

_  
"If you like him Keel, you should tell him." She stopped in her tracks._

_  
"How Oliver? I'm positive. I'm sure he doesn't want to get involved with a girl who's carrying a death sentence in her veins." She turned to him, holding back tears._

"_It's not a death sentence Keely. Sure, it's a setback. But it's certainly not a death sentence." He argued getting up from the chair._

"_Yeah, setback. Right." She said quietly looking down._

_  
"I think he likes you too." He stood over her._

"_How could you possibly know that? Musicians intuition?" she asked looking up at him._

"_Let's just say, I see how he looked at you out there. Take a chance Keel." He smiled kissing her head before reaching for the knob and opening the door and going towards the bar. She could see Roger wiping down the bar, looking up at the door, nonchalantly._

"Keel, are you almost ready?" Roger asked peaking into the bathroom as Keely ran the brush through her hair.

"Huh? Oh… um yeah. I'm just thinking about something." She looked back, a bit startled.

"Are you OK?" he asked entering the bathroom.

"Just thinking about stuff." She smiled faintly.

"Keel…" he started when she interrupted her.

"It's OK. It's good actually. I was just thinking about when we were younger. The first day we met, actually." She smiled faintly.

"Oh my God, I haven't thought about that in ages." He smiled down at her.

"I… I liked you from the minute I met you." She said looking up at him.

"You scared the hell out of me the first time I looked at you." He said looking down.

"I scared you?" She was surprised.

"Yeah. I looked into your eyes and you made me feel like no other woman has ever made me feel." He looked down at her.

"We… we were both closed off. But Mimi and Oliver helped us get over that." She smiled wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Oliver helped?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah, he told me that you liked me and that I should give you a chance." She smiled up at him.

"Mimi gave me the strength to move on with… with you." He stuttered looking down into her beautiful blue eyes. The eyes that grabbed him the first moment he looked into them.

"That's why she was my best friend. She gave me the man I love." She smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"You… you really have to finish getting ready." He smiled at her.

"You are still the most amazing man I've ever met." She smiled.

"And you are still the most beautiful woman in the world." He kissed her head before she turning back towards the mirror to finish getting ready to go to the club. Roger smiled, remembering the day they met. He had just started working at the bar again and had heard about Keely from the owner of the bar, but he never imagined he would feel the way he felt when he met her. He looked over at her, watching his wife apply her lip gloss. He finally snapped out of his thoughts and finished getting ready himself.

* * *

Keely stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of the club, fixing her eyeliner as Roger pounded on the door. "Keel, let's go. We're on." He shouted over the crowd of people.

"I'm coming." She called out before taking a deep breath. "Tonight is for you chica." She smiled looking up at the ceiling before opening the door.

"Everything OK Baby?" he asked concerned.

"Everything is fine Roger. Don't worry. I'm ready." She smiled at him confidently before they walked together to the stage. Keely stepped in front of the microphone as the music started. The first song was Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar. One of Mimi's favorite songs. The music started and Keely began nodding her head as Roger and Oliver watched happily. Keely was back.

_Your love is like a tidal wave, spinning over my head_

_Drownin' me in your promises, better left unsaid_

_You're the right kind of sinner, to release my inner fantasy_

_The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to be_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around with me!_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around - NO NO NO!_

_Your love has set my soul on fire, burnin' out of control_

_You taught me the ways of desire, now its takin' its toll_

_You're the right kind of sinner, to release my inner fantasy_

_The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to be_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around with me!_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around - NO NO NO!_

_You're the right kind of sinner, to release my inner fantasy_

_The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to be_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around with me!_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around with me!_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Don't you mess around with me!_

_You're a Heartbreaker_

_Dream Maker, Love Taker_

_Heartbreaker!_

As Keely completed the song, Roger set a barstool on the stage behind her before he and the rest of the band stepped off the stage. With the spotlight on her, Keely looked down at Roger before addressing the audience. "This next song, I would like to do in honor of someone who means a lot to me. She was my best friend, my sister and my soul mate. Mimi, we love you and miss you everyday." She picked up her guitar and sat on the barstool. She smiled down at Roger and then Oliver, who winked at her before she started strumming on her guitar, playing the Eric Clapton song she played the week before. Eric Clapton wrote it for his young son, who died tragically in an accident out an apartment window in New York City and it was featured in the movie Rush. Mimi could never watch that movie, due to the drug content in it, but the song always struck her as beautiful and heartfelt. Following Mimi's death, it became an appropriate tribute to her best friend. Roger and Oliver watched silently as she played this one solo. There was not a dry eye in the house.


	79. Chapter 79

3 am. Keely is sitting up in the living room thinking about things in the dark. The street lamp illuminated the room. Hearing the click of the lock on the apartment door got her attention. She looked up and saw her eldest daughter sneaking in. As she stood in the shadows, she observed the 15 year old tip toeing towards her bedroom. "Freeze Randi Lynn Davis." Keely called out quietly.

"Mom! Um… what are you doing up?" she asked surprised.

"My being up at this hour is not the issue. Where have you been?" Keely asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Nowhere. I…" she started but allowed her sentence to fall.

"What were you doing?" she asked walking towards her.

"Nothing." Randi answered defensively.

"You were nowhere doing nothing. Well, I guess I have no need to worry about my teenage daughter sneaking out and coming home at 3 am." Keely ranted frustrated at her teenage daughter.

"Mom, I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just… out with a friend." Randi insisted looking over at her.

"Have you been drinking?" she asked standing over her daughter.

"No mom. After what you and dad told me about drinking, I don't drink. Don't you trust me?" she asked looking up Keely.

"Trust you? Randi, you sneak out of the house and try to sneak back in at 3 o'clock in the morning and you're talking about trust? You're kidding, right?" Keely's voice was raised as she lectured her daughter.

"Mom, I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was with Katie. Her… her dad left them and her mom is really depressed. She… she needed someone to talk to." She explained looking over at her.

"Yeah but… sneaking out? Randi, had you explained the situation to me and your father, we would have understood. You just… you can't just sneak out of the house and us not know where you are. We're your parents. It's our job to know where you are at every given moment." Keely paced around the living room.

"I know mom, I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sneak out, but she called my phone at like 11 and you and dad were in bed and I didn't want to disturb you guys." She said looking over at her. "Am I punished?" she asked cautiously.

"I'm not gonna lie to you. There will be consequences for your actions." She explained looking over at her.

"I understand what I did was wrong. But mom, it was for a good cause. I mean, you and dad always taught us the importance of being a good friend and that's what I was doing." She argued looking over at her.

"Why you snuck out is not the point Randi. It's the fact that you snuck out at 11 and didn't get home until 3 in the morning. You're 15 years old. You can't just come and go as you please. What if something happened to you out there? Your father and I wouldn't have any idea that you were in trouble." Keely said looking over at her.

"I didn't get in trouble mom. I'm fine. Katie only lives like 2 blocks away. It's not a big deal." She shrugged her mother off.

"It is a big deal. You got lucky Randi. Your father and I have rules for a reason. You may think you're old enough to think for yourself, but guess what? You're still a child and you're our responsibility." Keely plopped down in the corner of the couch.

"Are you gonna tell dad?" Randi asked sitting on the other side of the couch.

"Randi, you could have been hurt out there and you're worried about me telling your father?" Keely asked confused.

"Um… yeah. Dad'll freak if he finds out." She answered slouching down on the couch before folding her arms across her stomach.

"Of course he's gonna freak. He worries about you. We both do. You are a very important part of this family. We just lost Aunt Mimi and we don't want to lose you too." Keely tried to keep herself composed.

"Why are you blowing this out of proportion mom? I went to my friends house a couple of blocks away. And you're acting like I was out drinking doing something stupid with a boy. I'm not you mom. God." She argued before getting up and storming into her room and shutting the door loudly. Keely couldn't move. She could barely catch her breath. She buried her face in her hands and cried quietly. Suddenly she heard a bedroom door open and she looked up. Hoping it was Randi, she looked up. It was Roger.

"Is… is everything OK?" he asked entering the living room in his pajama pants. He ran his hand through his hair before rubbing his eyes.

"Randi snuck out to go to Katie's and she just got home a little while ago. I… I gave her a lecture and told her there would be consequences and she threw my past in my face." She cried bringing her knees up to her chest before wrapping her arms around them.

"Oh Baby. I'm so sorry. What the hell was she doing sneaking out to go to Katie's anyway?" he asked rushing over to her wrapping his arms around her.

"Well, before she told me that she wasn't out drinking and doing something stupid like me, she told me that Katie called her at 11 needing someone to talk to, and since we were in bed already, she left to go to Katie's and she just got home at 3." She explained quietly looking up at him.

"Does she have any idea what could have happened to her out there alone? And us not knowing where she is… it could have been worse than her getting her phone or computer taken away." He said looking down at her.

"I… I tried to explain it to her, but… she's… she's 15. She has no idea what could have happened to her." Keely told him quietly, leaning into his chest.

"Let's go to bed and get some sleep. We can talk to her tomorrow." He kissed her head holding her close.

"OK." She whispered, getting up and following him into the bedroom. They lay in their bed holding one another as Roger fell asleep. Keely on the other hand did not fall asleep so quickly. She kept thinking about what had her up at 3 in the morning. Feeling her husband's chest rise up and down eventually lulled her to sleep.

The next morning, Roger was up first. He iwas n the kitchen drinking his coffee while reading the paper. Randi came out of her bedroom and stopped short of the kitchen, the second she saw Roger. "Um… good… good morning daddy." She said looking up at him innocently.

"Good morning Randi Lynn." He answered quietly.

"You spoke to mom already, didn't you?" she asked a little unnerved that he used her full name.

"Yeah, you could say that." He answered leaning on his elbows looking up at her. "And I didn't appreciate the fact that you used her past against her." He looked over at her.

"Dad, she was accusing me of drinking or something. Like I'm a stupid kid or something." She ranted, getting an attitude.

"You're gonna want to change your tone young lady. You're not winning any friends with that attitude." He scolded his daughter.

"I'm sorry daddy. But you know I'm not a kid. After everything you and mom told us about drinking, do you actually think that I would sneak out of the house to go drinking with a boy?" she asked sitting next to him. She had adjusted her tone.

"We know you're not a stupid kid. You've probably experienced more than any girl your age should, but we only want what's best for you. Lying to you is not gonna give you the tools to avoid that mistakes we made. And your mother and I know we made big mistakes. And if it were me, I wouldn't care if you called me on it, but your mother… I don't take too kindly to people hurting my wife's feelings." He was serious when he spoke to her.

"I'm sorry about that daddy. I… I didn't mean to hurt mom's feelings like that." She looked up at him remorseful.

"Well you did. She… she was very upset when I found her out here last night." He explained quietly.

"I'll apologize to her as soon as she gets up. I promise." She offered looking up at him.

"And I think relinquishing your cell phone and your laptop would be a good punishment for sneaking out, don't you?" he asked calmly.

"Yeah dad. I… I think that's fair." She conceded looking up at him. "I'm really sorry dad."

"What's going on with Katie?" he asked concerned.

"Her… her dad left them and her mom has been really depressed lately. She… she knows I know a little about having a depressed mom." She told him quietly.

"You know, if Katie wants to stay over a night or two, you know she's more than welcome to. You know, just to get away from home for a little while." He offered looking down at her.

"Thanks dad. That… that might be good for her." She smiled before getting up and making herself a bagel for breakfast.

* * *

Later that day, Keely stood outside the large office building. She looked around the city in a daze. Suddenly a bicyclist whizzed past her, jarring her out of her thoughts. She blinked a few times before starting towards home. After the morning she had just had, the last thing she wanted was to be out in public. Her daughter had apologized to her for her behavior in the early morning hours, but she really didn't have the presence of mind for it to really register. She made up some excuse about having to run errands and left shortly afterwards. She needed time to get her head wrapped around what she had just heard. Her t-cells had lowered since the previous month. She had a feeling something wasn't right, but she needed to hear the doctor confirm it. On her way home, she decided to take a slight detour. When she got to the building on Avenue A and 11th street, she opened the door and started walking up the stairs towards a familiar apartment. She tried the door and it easily opened. She looked around remembering all the times she and Mimi shared there. When she needed to be talked off of the ledge Mimi would be the one she went to. Mimi may have been Roger's friend first, but she was Keely's best friend in the world. The laughter and tears that were shared in those four faded walls all came rushing back to her. The night she officially felt like one of the girls. The day she feared that she was pregnant with the girls, all the times she needed her, Mimi was always there. And now that Mimi was gone, all she had were her memories. "What am I gonna do chica?" she asked leaning against the wall and sliding down and crying into her hands. She didn't know how long she was there, when her phone rang. She reached into the inside pocket of her leather jacket to retrieve it. "Hello." She answered trying to sound normal.

"Keel, where are you? I thought you were supposed to be home an hour ago." Roger asked on the other end.

"Oh Roger, I… I had a couple of errands I forgot about. I… I should be home soon." She cleared her throat, wiping her eyes. "Do you need anything from the store?"

"No, I'm… I'm fine. Just… just come home Baby, OK?" she could sense the concern in his voice.

"I'll… I'll be home in a little while. I… I love you Roger." She held back more tears.

"Baby, I love you more than anything in this galaxy. Now, come on home. I… I miss you." He tried to be cool, not to alarm her, but he was extremely worried about her.

"OK Honey. I'm… I'm coming home." She told him quietly before shutting her phone and getting herself together. "I miss you so much Mimi. I always will." She whispered before getting up and leaving the apartment.


	80. Chapter 80

As Keely entered the apartment, Randi and Katie were in her room watching music videos on cable. Roger looked up from his papers. "Are you OK?" he asked seeing the look on her face.

"We... we need to talk." she told him quietly walking towards the bedroom. He silently got up and followed her. Sitting on the bed, she took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"It's bad, isn't it?" he asked slowly walking towards her.

"The worst." she forced as tears spilled out of her eyes.

"OK, there… there are other medicines they can try, right?" Roger asked looking over before getting up from the bed as Keely sat on the bed with her legs folded in front of her.

"There's nothing more they can do Roger. It's… it's been too long. They're… they're too low." She whispered looking over at him.

"Don't say that Keel. There's got to be something they can do. We can't just give up." He insisted trying to hold his composure, but failing.

"Roger, please come sit down." She pleaded looking up at him.

"How can you be so calm Baby? After… how can you be OK with this?" he asked sitting next to her on the bed.

"You think I'm OK with this? I'm not. It sucks. But what can we do? We knew this was coming. We knew this day would come eventually. It just so happens to be that it finally caught up with us." She reached over to take his hand.

"I've been dreading this day since the day we met." Tears stung his eyes.

"So have I. I... I expected something to be different when I left the doctors office. But life goes on... the... the world's not falling apart. Why?" she asked looking over at him.

"My world's falling apart." He cried laying across her lap. He gripped her legs as she ran her fingers through his hair before leaning down to kiss his temple.

"It's OK my love. We ran as fast as we could, but with my bum knee and your bad back… I… I guess we can't run as fast as we used to, huh?" she cried as he got up wrapping his arms around her to hold her to him.

"I'm so sorry Baby." He cried as they held one another for dear life.

"Roger, you've blessed me with so many wonderful experiences that, before I met you, I didn't think would be possible. I'm not sorry for a second of my life." She cried as she lay down in Roger's arms.

"Me neither Baby. Not for a second." He cried. When Roger awoke about an hour later, he was hoping it was all a bad dream. He looked down at his wife, seeing the dried tears on her 40 something face. The beautiful woman who lay in his arms has always been so full of life. And now hers was ticking away. Right before his eyes. How were they gonna tell their girls that their mother was gonna leave them the same way their aunt did not long ago. He quietly slithered out of her arms and left the bedroom. He shut the door quietly and moped over to the couch.

"Daddy, is everything OK?" Randi asked coming out of her room with Katie.

"Huh? Oh… um… yeah. Are you girls looking for something to eat?" he asked looking up from the couch.

"We… we got it dad. We're just gonna nuke something. When's… when's Angel getting home?" she asked as Katie continued to the kitchen.

"Tomorrow morning. She's staying with Aunt Allie and Uncle Mark tonight." He answered before getting up from the couch. "Why don't you let me make you girls something to eat. It's almost dinner time anyway. What do you feel like?" he asked snapping out of his trance.

"We can just order a pizza or something dad. Where's mom?" she asked following him as he rifled through the drawer for the pizza menu.

"Laying down. She'll be up soon. Do you think we should get one or two orders of cheese sticks?" he asked looking down at the menu avoiding his daughter's gaze.

"2. You know how much mom loves those." Randi answered, playing along.

"Can we get eggplant on the pizza?" Katie asked looking over at Roger.

"Sure kiddo. How about you girls go pick out some movies and when the pizza gets here we can have a movie night?" he suggested looking over at the girls.

"Are you sure dad?" Randi asked looking up at him.

"Absolutely. It'll be fun. I'm gonna order the food and wake your mother up." He smiled before calling the order into the pizza place. When he got off the phone he went into the bedroom and Keely was sitting up on the bed smiling. "I didn't realize you were up." He smiled crossing the bedroom.

"I woke up a little while ago. I… I heard what you said to the girls. I… I think that would be really nice for them. A movie and pizza night. Katie needs this." She smiled up at him.

"So do we. At least until Angel gets back from Mark and Allie's and they find out what's going on." He sat heavily on the bed.

"Yeah well, it'll be great for them to have this one more night without worries." She crawled over to him, and hung on his shoulders, kissing his head.

"I wish we had a lot more time Keel…" he started when she interrupted him.

"Roger, don't…" she said sitting back on her heels.

"It's not like that Keel. I.. I was gonna say that I wish we had a lot more time, but I wouldn't trade a minute of the time we've already had." He turned to look at her.

"Not even for a second." She looking up into her husband's green eyes. Still youthful, still passionate and still comforting.

"Daddy, the food's here. I need money." Randi knocked on the bedroom door.

"Don't you miss the days when all they needed was for you to be here?" Keely laughed patting his shoulder.

"You have no idea." He laughed getting up and going to the door. He paid the delivery guy and brought the food into the kitchen. "What movies did we pick out?" Roger asked as Keely came out of the bedroom.

"Mom's favorite." She held up a dvd.

"Oh my God. Roger, do you remember that night?" Keely asked bursting out in laughter.

"Yeah, and I also remember telling you if anyone got wind of it, you'd be dead." He laughed pointing at Keely.

"I'm not afraid of you." She boasted with her hands on her hips.

"Well you should be." He called out before rushing over to her and sweeping her up into his arms.

"You're just a big pussy cat. You couldn't hurt a fly." She laughed holding on tight to him.

"Guys, must you. We do have company, you know." Randi laughed in embarrassment.

"It's OK Randi, I think it's cute." Katie smiled looking over at them before they all settled in with their pizza and movie.

* * *

The next day, Roger walked Katie home before going to the loft to pick Angel up from Mark and Alison's. Keely stayed home with Randi to spend some time cleaning up from Randi's sleep over. Roger walked slowly to the loft. He knew once he got home, he and Keely would be sitting the girls down to tell them about Keely's t-cells and he was in no rush to do that. When he got to the building, he opened the door and climbed the stairs. He stopped in front of Mimi's apartment before opening the door. He stood in the doorway remembering Mimi and all the times he shared in that little apartment. The day he told her about Keely, the night he ran out on her and Mimi yelled at him for running scared from his feelings for her and the night the girls were watching Grease and he showed a side of himself that no one had ever seen. He felt so comfortable around Keely and now he was faced with losing her. He blinked himself out of his daze before shutting the door and continuing up the stairs to the loft. "Angel, your dad's here." Mark called out from the kitchen area. "Hey Rog." He smiled over at him.

"Hey." Roger greeted him, walking over to sit at the metal table.

"What's up? You don't look right." Mark observed turning the sink water off and drying his hands.

"Nothing. Um… did Angel have fun?" he asked trying to play it cool.

"Yeah. She and Allie spend most of the day at the dance school teaching and Angel was playing around." Mark smiled.

"Like Keel and Mimi used to. I miss those days." He spoke quietly looking down at the metal table. "I miss walking in and catching them dueling to some lame 80's song." A small smiled crossed his face.

"Roger, what's going on?" he asked him quietly, seeing his friend wasn't right.

"Not now. Um… I… I have to get Angel home. She has to get her stuff ready for school tomorrow, but me and Keel will be around. I promise." He told him as his daughter came out of her room at the loft.

"I'm ready dad." She came prancing out, her pony tail waving in the air. She looked just like her mother. Beautiful and full of life.

"See you tomorrow Mark." Roger got up from the metal counter before going towards his daughter. "Come on kiddo. Mom's making dinner. It should be ready soon." He put his arm around his youngest daughter. "Bye Mark. Thanks." He smiled before they left the loft and began walking home.

"What's mom making for dinner?" Angel asked looking up at him.

"What do you think?" he asked laughing.

"Meatloaf?" she laughed looking up at him.

"Hey, she may be beautiful, but she can only cook one thing." He laughed holding her in his arms.

"That's OK. We love her anyway." Angel smiled as they continued home.

"Yeah, we do." Roger smiled. Walking home, they took a detour. Roger walked past the bar he and Keely met in. He stopped in front of the window he first saw her through. Memories of her on that first day came flooding back.

"Daddy, are you OK?" Angel asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, um… yeah, I'm fine princess. I'm… I'm just thinking about something." He smiled through the window. He could still see her standing on the stage and hear her voice radiating from the speakers. She was breathtaking.

"Dad, are you sick?" she asked point blank, noticing his little pilgrimage.

"No. I'm not princess. I'm feeling just fine." He smiled as they continued walking home. Angel looked up at her, uncomfortably, but walked with him in silence.


	81. Chapter 81

"Girls, um… we… we need to talk to you." Roger announced as Angel and Randi finished the dishes from dinner.

"It's bad, isn't it?" Randi asked looking over at them as they sat at the dining room table.

"I'm… I'm afraid so kiddo." He and Keely gripped one another's hands for strength.

"You said you weren't sick. You lied." Angel looked down at Roger upset.

"It's not daddy. It's… it's me. I'm… I'm lower." Keely defended looking up at her young daughter.

"It… it can't be. Mom, you…" Randi looked over at her in disbelief.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I… I tried my best, I really did, but…" she told them, holding back tears.

"You couldn't run fast enough." Angel cut in quietly, sitting in her chair.

"Pretty much. We tried. We… " Roger tried to speak, but lost his composure.

"Roger…" Keely whispered as Roger got up.

"I'm sorry." He managed to croak, before rushing off to his and Keely's bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm sorry girls. Your dad…" Keely started with tears falling from her eyes.

"We know mom. I guess it's his turn to be bad, huh?" Angel moved over to her mother, taking her in her arms.

"I'm so sorry my beautiful girls. I don't want to do this. I never wanted to do this to you. How can I leave my girls when you're so close to becoming young women?" she cried in her teenage daughters arms.

"We don't want you to go either mom, but we know you don't have any other choice." Randi cried reaching out for her mother's hand.

"When I found out I was gonna have you girls, I was scared to death. I didn't want to die on you. I… I didn't want to leave you girls or your father." She cried looking over at her eldest daughter.

"We'll be OK mom. We… we promise." Angel told her as the bedroom door opened.

"Keely." He called out rushing over to her.

"I'm sorry Roger. I… I never thought this would happen. I knew there was a chance, but…" she cried into his strong chest.

"I know Baby. I know. We'll get through this. I promise." He vowed holding her in his arms. Randi had moved over to Angel and they comforted one another in a sisterly embrace.

* * *

"I am not telling them. You want to tell them, fine. But I don't want to be around when they find out. Telling you and the girls was heartbreaking enough. The last thing I want to do is go through that with the rest of them." Keely protested as they sat on their bed.

"Mark knows something's up. He sensed it when I went to pick Angel up this afternoon." Roger told her, slipping into his pajama pants.

"No, you just have no poker face." She smiled faintly up at him.

"Yeah, you're right about that. But we have to tell them." He said sitting on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I… I'm in denial right now. I just want to forget this happened. I'm not ready to die yet. I'm not ready to leave my family yet." She leaned back against her pillow before pulling the blanket over her.

"Oh shit." He blurted out suddenly looking over at her.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Your parents."

"Oh no. We… we have to tell them, don't we?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'm afraid so Baby." He said looking over at her.

"Oh my God. My mom's gonna be a wreck." The more she thought about it, the more upset she was getting.

"It'll be OK. They'll be strong. It'll be hard at first, but then they'll snap out of it and be strong, for the girls"

"Oh my God. What are we gonna do? This is not something we can tell them over the phone. We'll have to go to Minnesota and tell them." Tears fell from her eyes.

"We can leave Friday after the girls get out of school and come back Sunday. It'll be OK Keel." He wrapped his arms around her and held her to him.

"I was such a stupid girl." She cried into his chest.

"It's OK Baby. It's OK." He cradled her in his arms.

* * *

"How long?" Alison asked through her tears. Roger and Keely had just told them her prognosis.

"6 months. Maybe a year. It all depends on the progress of the disease." Keely told her quietly.

"I'm so sorry Babygirl. Is there anything we can do?" Collins asked sitting across from her.

"Take care of Roger and my babies." She cried into her hands as Roger held her in his arms tight. Tears streamed down his face.

"Shh, it's OK Baby." Roger lulled her, rocking her back and forth.

"It's not OK Roger. Jesus, I'm dying. I'm leaving my husband and daughters. Can't I mourn my own death?" she jumped up from the couch, yelling at him before storming off to Roger's old room, which was now Colin's room.

"I'll get her." Alison offered starting to get up.

"Let me Babygirl. I… I think I should talk her off of this ledge." Collins said looking over at Alison, as he got up from his seat.

"I'm so sorry Roger. What… what can we do?" she asked sitting next to him.

"I don't know Allie. I wish I did, but… thanks for being here." Roger cried as she wrapped her arms around his body.

"Mimi may have been her best friend, but she's mine. Anything she needs me or Mark to do, we're right here." She whispered comforting him as Mark and Oliver sat stunned.

"Babygirl, I'm coming in, so don't throw anything at me." Collins called out entering the bedroom.

"I finally did it." She cried into the pillow as Collins crossed the bedroom to the bed.

"Did what Babygirl?" he asked curiously.

"Let my guard down. I stopped running so fast." She cried as he lay in the bed next to her, holding her close to him.

"Babygirl, what are you talking about?" he asked playing with her hair.

"I quit running. When Mimi died, I… I lost my fight." She cried softly.

"You were in mourning Keely Lynn. There's nothing wrong with mourning your best friend." He reassured her.

"But I stopped running. Roger and I swore that we would love each other like crazy until this caught up to us. I… I let it catch me. I let Mimi's death defeat me and now I'm leaving the people I love the most in the world." She cried as he tried his best to comfort her.

"Keely, you did your best. All these years, you did your best. No one could have seen this coming." Oliver said standing in the doorway.

"Oliver, I'm… I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Now in the same year that you lost your wife, you're gonna lose your cousin." She cried looking up at him.

"Keely, do you remember when you were diagnosed?" he asked sitting at the foot of the bed.

"I was a mess. I was drinking so much in those days. When I came out of my drunken haze, I was an alcoholic and positive." She looked over at him through her tears.

"You thought your life was over. I didn't know how I was gonna get you to stop drinking and get treatment. I swore to your parents that I would do everything to make sure you were OK and I failed. Then I got you into the band to keep an eye on you…"

"Wait a minute, I thought the lead singer left to get married or moved away or something." She asked looking up at him.

"Technically he did. But he didn't do that until after he left the band. He… he was about to ask his girlfriend to marry him and she was going to med school at Yale or Harvard or something, so he gracefully stepped down so I could bring you in." He explained sitting at the desk that was set up for Colin.

"You brought me into the band to keep an eye on me? I can't believe you did that." She yelled at him, furious.

"I was trying to keep you alive." He yelled getting up from the chair.

"A lot good that did. I'm dying anyway." She yelled up at him.

"You know what Keel? Whatever." He yelled rushing out of the loft and storming down the stairs.

"What the hell... what the hell happened?" Roger asked rushing over to the bedroom.

"I have to go after him." Keely said wiping her eyes.

"Maybe you should leave him alone for a little while." He said looking down at her.

"No, I need to go after him. I'll be fine." She leaned up to kiss him before leaving the loft and rushing down the stairs. When she got to Mimi's old apartment, she noticed the door was open. She looked inside and saw Oliver sitting at the window. She couldn't help but notice how tired he looked. She has known him her whole life and she has never seen him so defeated. She took a deep breath before entering the apartment. "Oliver." She spoke quietly as she slowly approached him.

"I came here to be get away from you Keel." He snarled at her sitting on the window seat staring out.

"I'm… I'm sorry. For… for everything."

"You know Keel, back then, you made it really hard for me to look out for you. After you got hurt, you shut me out. Avoided my phone calls, you wouldn't talk to me. Then you were diagnosed and … I thought it was my fault." He whispered as she leaned against the wall next to the window listening to him.

"You didn't do anything wrong Oli. It was me. I… I was stupid." She explained looking over at him.

"Yeah well, your parents asked me to make sure nothing happened to you. To make sure you didn't do anything stupid. It was my job to take care of you. Just like it was my job to take care of Mimi." He yelled getting up.

"You can't control the world Oliver." She yelled back at him. "God, what is it with men? You think it's your job to take care of everything. Like… like you're super heroes. You and Roger are only human. There's only so much you can do."

"We don't think we're super heroes. We just want to be able to take care of the people we love." He yelled before breaking down.

"At some point you just have to give up trying to take care of us and just love us. I promise, it was enough for Mimi that you just loved her." She tried to comfort him.

"I fucked up so much with her. I… didn't deserve her." He cried into her shoulder.

"You deserve so much Oliver. Everything you've done has been for your family." She looked up at him.

"I cheated on Mimi." He blurted out.

"You… you what? When?" she asked looking up at him stunned.

"The tour before you guys came with us. It… it was stupid. I... I let a 19 year old groupie entice me into betraying my vows." He explained embarrassed.

"Did… did she know?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah. I… I didn't tell her, but she knew. I didn't deserve it but she forgave me. It… it was right before she found out she was dying." He stuttered, crying more.

"Oliver, she loved you so much. She saw something that I didn't even know existed. You were a man when you were with her." She lifted her hand to caress his cheek.

"I wasn't anything until she came along. And… and now I'm losing you too. Why the hell is this happening to us?" he cried taking her hand from his face and holding it tight.

"I don't know Oli. But we're here. We… we kind of have no choice but to live the life we were given. Until… until the painful end." She cried as he brought her into his arms comfortingly. Roger stood outside the apartment door, tears rolling down his face. He lifted his hands to his face, drying his tears before running his fingers through his hair and walking the stairs. Leaving the building.


	82. Chapter 82

When Oliver and Keely went back upstairs, everyone was sitting around, somberly. Alison and Mark sat in one another's arms, Maureen was cleaning the kitchen and Collins and Manny just stared into space. "Where's… where's Roger?" Keely asked looking around.

"He… he left. Not long after you two did. We… we thought he went out to go find you." Manny said looking over at them.

"We were down in Mimi's old apartment. Where could he be?" Keely was worried.

"I… I think I know." Collins said getting up from his seat on the couch.

"Where is he?" Keely asked as he passed her on his way to the door.

"The bar. I… I found him there years ago when he needed to get away from things." He told her quietly looking down at her.

"Let me go. I… I think I need to be the one to find him." She told him, before leaving the loft. She walked through the village towards the bar she and Roger met in. Tommy sold it a few months earlier to retire, but it was still open. She looked through the window and saw Roger sitting on a bar stool. He had a beer in front of him and he was downing a shot. She took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. She placed her hand on his shoulder, startling him.

"Keel, what are you doing here?" he asked turning back around towards the bar.

"I came to look for my husband. It seems he left without telling anyone where he was going." She said quietly before sitting next to him.

"Yet you found me anyway." He mumbled before taking a sip of his beer.

"Roger, what are you doing here?" she asked looking up at him.

"Drowning my sorrows." He answered quietly taking another sip.

"This isn't the way, you know?" she looked over at him.

"My wife is dying. If you can find a better way, let me know." He asked annoyed.

"Do you remember when we were waiting to find out that Angel was positive?" she asked leaning in to him.

"What does that have to do…" he asked when she interrupted him.

"You found me on the roof with a bottle of vodka. I didn't open it because even though I didn't know how to handle what was happening to our little girl, I knew it wasn't the way. There was no way alcohol was gonna be the answer." She whispered looking up at him.

"Keely, I'm losing the woman I love more than anything on this planet. The mother of my daughters. I don't know how to handle that. I'm supposed to, but... I... I don't." He said quietly.

"You could never lose me Roger. I will always be with you." She put her hand on his arm.

"Do you remember when we found out Mimi was dying?" he asked looking over at her.

"We were glad it wasn't me." She told him quietly.

"Now it is you." Tears fell from his eyes as he cocked his head towards her.

"And there's nothing we can do about that now. All we can do is make the best of the time we have left together. And after that, our daughters are gonna need their father. I… I failed them enough." She whimpered leaning her elbows on the bar.

"You didn't fail them Keel. You didn't control this." He said looking over at her.

"Ultimately I did. I'm was that stupid girl who used alcohol to soothe the fact that I would never dance professionally again and picked some guy up in a bar and contracted HIV. Something hundreds, maybe thousands of girls all over the city have done because they didn't know better." She looked up at him.

"You were young Keel. I made my mistakes too." He whispered looking down at her.

"Yeah, how were we supposed to know we would live long enough to have a family?" she asked looking up at him.

"Who knew we wouldn't be stupid kids forever, huh?" he asked smirking over at her.

"And now we have twin teenage daughters and I'm dying." She said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"But you made an impact Keel. Those girls are growing up into fine young women and that's because of you. You raised those girls to be who they are today. You will live on in them every day." He whispered kissing her head holding her to his chest.


	83. Chapter 83

"Girls, hurry up." Keely called out putting her purse on her shoulder as Roger carried bags out of his and Keely's bedroom.

"Mom, why are we going to grandma and grandpa's?" Randi asked looking over at her.

"I need to tell them that I'm sick. Do you see this being news they should hear over the phone?" she asked looking over at her.

"I… I guess not." She said looking over at her. They got on the plane and flew to Minnesota. Mr. and Mrs. O'Reilly didn't know their family was coming to visit. Keely was afraid if she called them, they would know something was up. They rented a car from the airport and drove to the O'Reilly residence.

"Roger, stop." Keely called out when they were a few blocks from the house.

"What… what's the matter Baby?" he asked pulling the midsized sedan.

"I can't do this. How am I gonna tell my parents that they have to outlive their only child?" she asked looking over at him.

"Keel, it's gonna be OK. I'm right here. We're all right here. We're not going anywhere." He took her hand and held it tight.

"Mom, grandma and grandpa are gonna be fine. You'll see." Randi said looking over the seat at her mother.

"When we get to the house, I want you girls to go up to your room, OK? I… I think it's best if me and dad are alone when we talk to them." She said turning around in her seat.

"OK mom. If you think that's the best thing to do, we'll do it." Angel said looking over at her.

"Thank you so much girls. You have really had to grow up too soon because of this, haven't you?"

"It's OK mom. We… we're OK. We're not little kids anymore. We can handle it." Randi said looking over at them.

"We… we should go Baby." Roger cut in looking over at his wife.

"OK." She agreed as he put the car in gear and drove the rest of the way to his in laws house. When they arrived at the O'Reilly residence, they got out and approached the front door. Roger rang the door bell as he held Keely's hand tight and the girls stood behind them quietly. When the door opened, Mrs. O'Reilly answered it.

"Keely, Roger. What are you doing here? Were we expecting you and your father didn't tell me again? I swear that man…" she started smiling at her family.

"No. Mom, we… we decided to come on the fly. We haven't been here in a while and just decided to get away for the weekend." She said looking over at her, attempting to keep her composure.

"How are my granddaughters? You two are turning into such beautiful young ladies. Just like your mom." She smiled grabbing the girls into a hug.

"Thanks gran. We… we take that as a compliment." Angel smiled faintly over at her sister.

"Where's dad?" Keely asked looking at her mother.

"He's in the kitchen. I'll get him." She smiled before going to the kitchen to get her husband. They entered the house and Keely overheard her mother speaking to her father. She could hear that Mrs. O'Reilly tell her husband that Keely and Roger were there with the girls and it didn't look good.

"Girls, I want you to say hello to grandpa and then head upstairs. I have a feeling their gonna want to know what the deal is right away." Keely said looking at her daughters.

"Gotcha mom." Randi said as Mr. O'Reilly came out of the kitchen.

"Where are my girls?" Mr. O'Reilly called out looking at his granddaughters.

"Hi grandpa." Angel smiled as he grandfather hugged them both tight.

"Grandpa, we're gonna go upstairs and get cleaned up." Randi smiled taking Angel by her hand and dragging her up the stairs.

"Keely Lynn, what is this all about?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked point blank.

"Lynn." Mr. O'Reilly called out looking at his wife.

"Martin, they show up here without so much as a phone call. I know what this is all about." She looked over at him before turning to her daughter and son in law. "Which one of you is it?" she held back tears.

"Me mom. I'm… I'm lower." Keely answered quietly looking at her mother.

"No. It… it can't be." She called out as her husband swept her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry mom. I… I never meant for any of this to happen." Keely cried as Roger wrapped his arms around her.

"What about those girls? How could they be losing their mother? They're just becoming young ladies." Mrs. O'Reilly cried in her husband's arms.

"I know… I know mom. I'm… I'm so sorry." Keely cried as Roger led her to the couch.

"How long?" Mr. O'Reilly asked trying to stay calm for his wife and daughter's sake.

"6 months. Maybe a year." Roger managed to answer as the O'Reilly's sat down too.

"What… what do you need us to do?" Mrs. O'Reilly managed to ask.

"Just be there for Roger and the kids, OK? Please." Keely pleaded looking over at her mother.

"Anything you two need. We're here for you sweetheart. You know that." Mr. O'Reilly reached over to take Keely's hand.

"I know dad. It's just… there's…. there's nothing to do. Me, Roger and the girls are gonna spend as much time together as we can before…" her sentence fell in the air.

"If you need us to do anything, you let us know. Do you understand me Keely Lynn?" Mrs. O'Reilly asked looking over at her daughter.

"OK mom. Thanks." Keely said looking over at her mother.

They spent 3 very emotionally draining days at the O'Reilly's in Minnesota before leaving for New York. Keely barely spoke a word on the flight home. She just sat nestled in Roger's embrace as the girls slept. "Are you OK Keel?" Roger whispered looking down at her.

"Not… not really. Um… I was thinking about things I want to do before…" she looked up at him.

"Anything Keel. Name it and I'll make it happen." He said looking down at her.

"I'll let you know." She told him before looking down and leaning into him further as the plane continued back to New York.


	84. Chapter 84

Keely at on the edge of the bathtub, feeling nauseous and out of breath. She had been coughing a lot lately, due to her mild PCP. "Keel, are you OK in here?" Roger asked opening the door.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath." She told him quietly as he rushed to her side.

"Maybe we should stay home tonight." He said looking down at her.

"No. I… I want to go out." She protested, getting up from the tub slowly.

"You should rest Baby." He said looking down at her.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead. Tonight, I'm going out with my husband for a romantic dinner." She looked up at him before regaining her bearings and running her fingers through her long blond hair.

"Keel, I wish you would rethink the hospital. They can help you better there." He said looking down at her. The look on his face was serious.

"Roger, do you remember when Mimi went into the hospital? She had a tube put down her throat and she never came out. I'm not going that way. There are things I want to do with my family before I go. I'm fine. It's not that bad." She turned to look up at him.

"But they… they can make you more comfortable." He told her taking her hand in his.

"My poor Baby. You worry for everyone, don't you?" she asked looking into his green eyes. Eyes that no longer looked young and carefree. They were filled with worry.

"It's my job Keel. If I don't worry, who will?" he asked softly lifting his hand to her soft face.

"Don't worry Baby. How can I screw up dying?" she asked lightheartedly.

"I'll… I'll let you get ready then." He stuttered leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She looked up at the door, regretting what she said. She knew all of this was difficult for Roger to handle, but he was trying his best to make her feel better. Remarks like that didn't make it any easier on him. She continued getting ready, trying to push her negative thoughts out of her mind. Once she was finished, she slipped into a sleeveless black dress as Roger dressed in his best suit. They left the apartment, walking to their destination. As they passed the dance school, Roger stopped and dug into his pocket for keys.

"What did you do?" she asked looking up at him.

"You'll see." He smiled down at her as he opened the door. He led her in and there were candles and photos of Roger and Keely everywhere.

"This is… this is incredible. But… I… I don't think I understand." She stuttered looking up at him as he left her side. He placed his hand on the cd player, praying that Alison and Angel had put on the correct cd. He pressed the button and the soft music started. It was Journey's song After All These Years. As the music played, he walked back over to her. Arm extended he smiled over at her.

"May I have this dance?" he asked softly as the lyrics started.

"Of course." She smiled up at him with tears filling her eyes.

_A faded wedding photograph  
You and me in our first dance  
Our eyes are closed  
We're lost in one sweet embrace  
Since those days the world has changed  
Our love remains the same  
God knows we've had our share of saving grace_

_And I'm proud of all the blessings  
You have given me  
The mountains we have climbed to get this far  
You learn to take the laughter with the tears  
After all these years_

_You make it feel brand new  
After the fires that we walked thru  
Against the odds we never lost our faith_

_In a house we've made our own  
Where our children all have grown  
Precious moments time can not erase_

_Make a livin' up and down the gypsy highway  
Seasons that we've beared to share apart  
Somehow in my heart I always keep you near  
After all these years_

_After all these years  
You stood by me  
The days and nights that I was gone  
After all these years  
You sacrificed, believed in me  
And you stood strong  
Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear  
After all these years_

_After all these years  
You stood by me  
The days and nights that I was gone  
After all these years  
You sacrificed, believed in me  
And you stood strong  
Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear  
After all these years_

Roger stared into his wife's blue eyes, twirling her around the studio as Mimi had taught him less than a year earlier. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world." He whispered holding her in his arms as the song ended.

"And you are the most romantic man I have ever met. I can't believe you did all this for me." She smiled up at him.

"Well, I did learn how to dance for a reason. I wanted to give my wife the one thing she's always wanted from me." He smiled looking down at her.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me." She whispered as tears spilling out of her eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure you got to do everything you've ever wanted to do before…" he started but quickly found it difficult to finish his sentence.

"I love you so much Roger. Don't ever forget that. Ever." She told him, her voice was quivering with emotion.

"Do you remember the weekend at the beach house?" he asked trying to regain his composure.

"Mhm. Me and Mimi beat yours and Oliver's asses in football." She laughed remembering that day.

"I fell in love with you that day on the beach. In the water after the game, I wanted to tell you, but I… I was scared. Scared of this moment." His brief smile faded.

"Roger you…" she stuttered looking up at him.

"But all these years later, the pain I have to endure in this moment is worth all the joy and love you have given me." He cried as he spoke to her.

"I'm not sorry for our life together Roger." She cried driving herself closer into his strong embrace.

"Me neither Keel. Me neither." He held her in his arms as they stood in the middle of the dance studio in dead silence.

* * *

The next morning, Roger left to pick the girls up from the loft, leaving Keely lying in bed sleeping soundly. Dancing the previous night had worn her out. Suddenly she awoke with a start. She began coughing but couldn't catch her breath. The more she coughed, the more severe it got. She stopped coughing and attempted to even her breathing. She lowered her hand from her mouth before looking down at it. She noticed traces of blood in her palm. She got up from the bed and rushed into the bathroom to wash it off before Roger got home and saw it. When she looked in the mirror, she saw blood staining her teeth and lips. With the water running, she quickly cleaned her mouth with warm water. The last thing she wanted was for Roger to notice that she was coughing up blood. She sat on the closed toilet seat and began crying. She knew her time was drawing to a close and there were so many other things she wanted to do with her family. She got up to start the bath water. She wanted to take the girls to the Metropolitan Ballet. Swan Lake was playing and she had always wanted to see it with her girls before she died.

When Roger and the girls got back, Roger heard the bath water running. "Why don't you girls get changed and cleaned up. I'll go check on your mom." He told them before entering his bedroom. The bathroom door was open and he saw Keely lying on the floor by the tub. "Keel." He called out before rushing over to her. He opened the curtain and saw blood dripping from his wife's mouth. He turned off the water and slid his arms underneath her small, frail body. He carried her to the bed before calling the girls.

"Daddy, what happened?" Randi asked rushing in to see her unconscious mother on the bed.

"Call an… call an ambulance." He ordered, quietly.

"Mom doesn't want…" Angel said looking over at her father.

"We have no choice. Just do it, please. Hurry." He pleaded looking up at his daughters.

"OK daddy." Randi agreed, taking her cell phone out of her jeans pocket and dialing the number. She quietly gave them all the information they needed and waited on the line while they sent help.

"It's OK Keel. Just hang on for me. Don't leave me yet." He whispered cradling his wife in his arms.

When Keely woke up she was in a hospital bed. Hooked up to an IV and an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. She looked around and didn't see anyone. She took the oxygen mask off of her face and reached down to the IV when Roger entered the room. "Keely, stop." He called out rushing over to her.

"What the hell am I doing here Roger?" she asked looking up at him. Her voice was hoarse from coughing.

"You were passed out in the bathroom when I got home from getting the girls and there was blood coming out of your mouth. I had no choice." He said looking down at her.

"Yeah well, I'm conscious now and I'm fine. I want to go home." She started to sit up further in the bed.

"Keely, you have to rest." He said attempting to stop her from getting out of bed.

"I am not getting hooked up to machines just to die in this god forsaken bed, staring up at these ugly, depressing walls. There are things I need to do before…" she argued before beginning to cough.

"Keel." He called out grabbing a cup of water from the bedside table.

She held her hand up to him before taking a long sip of water from the straw. "I'm fine." She attempted to catch her breath before taking short shallow breaths from the oxygen mask.

"You are not fine. You're drowning. Your lungs are not giving you enough air to breathe. That's what the PCP is doing to you. It's making it impossible for you to catch your breath. The doctor says you need to be here Keely." He insisted looking down at her.

"I… I will not be put on a ventilator like Mimi was. I… I want you to promise me that you will not put me on a breathing machine. If it comes down to it, you'll… you'll let me go." She insisted taking the oxygen mask off of her face.

"Keely please…" he started attempting to put the oxygen mask back on her.

"Roger, promise me." she began coughing again.

"OK Keel. I promise. I'll do whatever you want me to do, just put this on." He pleaded looking over at her. She put the oxygen mask on and took some shallow breaths until her breathing became easier. He sat on the chair next to the bed, putting his head in his hands. He thought over what he had just promised his wife. How could he let her go?

"Roger, I… I want to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order. And I want you to swear to me that you'll abide by it. I… I don't want to melt away like Angel and Mimi did. I… I don't want my girls to see me go that way. I… I want my dignity when I die." She told him, struggling for every breath.

"Keel, I… I don't know…" he looked up at her.

"Roger, this means a lot to me. Please." She pleaded looking over at him.

"O… OK Baby. I'll… I'll ask the doctor for one and I swear I won't stop them. If that's what you really want, I'll respect your decision." He quietly agreed looking up at his wife.

"It's what I want. I don't want you and our daughters to remember me as a frail, unconscious body lying in a hospital bed, attached to machines that are breathing for me." She whispered looking down at him.

"Keel, I love you so much. I don't want to lose you, but I'll do anything you ask me to do." He got up and sat on the bed next to her.

"I love you so much too Roger." She looked up at him as he grasped her hand tight.

After 24 hours, Keely was released from the hospital. She returned home to a packed apartment. Mark, Alison, Maureen, Collins, Manny, Oliver and Colin were there with the girls. "Mom." Angel called out rushing towards her parents, hugging her mother.

"What are you all doing here?" she asked obviously annoyed.

"We wanted to be here for your homecoming." Alison said looking over at her.

"I'm fine, really. I'm sure you all have things to do. I just need to rest." She walked slowly into the apartment as Roger held an oxygen tank in his arms.

"Keel, we want to be here for you." Oliver said going over to her.

"Well, I don't need you all here. Looking at me like I'm on my death bed. I'm still alive and plan to stay that way at least until I've done everything I need to do with my girls." She yelled before beginning to cough again.

"Put this on." Roger said lifting the oxygen mask to her face while leading her to the couch.

"I'm fine." She gasped breathing the oxygen into her lungs.

"You're not fine Keely. You need to be in the hospital. Or at least to rest. We're here to help you. I know it's hard for you to accept any help, but we're not going anywhere, so deal with it and move on." Alison yelled getting up from the recliner. Her outburst had taken everyone off guard. Alison has always been reserved with everyone. Especially Keely. She was her best friend. She always stood by Keely no matter what.

"I'm not going back to the hospital. I'm not gonna die that way." Keely argued quietly taking the mask off of her face.

"But you can have more time. Don't you want more time?" Alison asked quietly sitting next to her.

"Not… not in a hospital bed hooked up to machines. I can't do that to my family Allie. I won't…" she started coughing again, placing the oxygen mask over her mouth again.

"Come on. You need to rest for a little while." Roger urged Keely up from the couch, leading her into the bedroom. She didn't argue. She was tired and wanted to lay down. "Get some rest. I'm gonna get rid of everyone and we can have a quiet day with the girls, OK?" he whispered covering Keely with the comforter.

"Thank you Roger. I love you." She whispered before drifting off to sleep. Roger went back out into the living room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

"I'm sorry Roger. I… I didn't mean to upset her." Alison got up from the couch.

"It's OK Allie. You said what we were all thinking. You wouldn't be looking out for her if you didn't call her on shit like this." He told her quietly as she rushed over to him.

"I'm sorry anyway. I know how difficult this is for you and the girls." She hugged him tight.

"With everything I've been through, nothing... nothing compares to this." He cried softly in Alison's arms.

"Daddy, we'll… we'll go with Uncle Oliver and Colin so you can concentrate on taking care of mom." Angel offered quietly looking over at Roger.

"No, I… I told mom that I would get rid of this riff raff and we could have a day with just us." He said wiping his eyes on the back of his hands.

"Call us if you need anything." Mark said going over to hug Roger.

"Can you make it me and not her who's sick?" he asked quietly so the kids didn't hear him.

"Sorry man." He gave his best friend a pat on the back before everyone else hugged Roger goodbye and left the apartment.


	85. Chapter 85

"Mom, when was this taken?" Angel asked as she and Keely looked through a photo album.

"That was at Aunt Maureen's old girlfriend Joanne's family's beach house." She leaned over looking at the picture of her and Roger on the beach. They were in the water splashing each other and laughing.

"What happened to her?" she asked looking over at her.

"She… she broke up with Aunt Maureen after you were diagnosed. Your... your diagnosis was too much for her." Keely started before taking her oxygen mask and putting it over her mouth.

"Oh." She said looking over at her.

"She had already watched Aunt Angel die, and with me, dad, Aunt Mimi and Uncle Collins being positive… it was hard for her to face losing you too. An... an innocent little girl who never hurt anyone." She told her trying to catch her breath again.

"It was hard on everyone when I was diagnosed, huh?" she asked looking over at her.

"Yeah, but we got through it together." She told her.

"Mom, I'm… I'm sorry you're dying." She said quietly.

"Angel, you have nothing to be sorry for. I… I lived a good life. Not quite long enough, but I got to do everything I ever dreamed of doing." She took a deep breath looking down at the picture of her and Roger by the fire at the beach house. She was leaning back in his arms and he was playing with her hair.

"You didn't get to dance at the Metropolitan Ballet." She said looking over at her mother.

"That's OK. I've been... I've been loved like no other woman has ever been loved, got to be in yours and your sisters lives for longer than I thought I would and I have had the most amazing friends and family anyone could have. I think I lived a good life considering." She said looking over at her.

"We still need you mom." Angel cried looking over at her mother.

"You have no idea how much I regret having to leave you girls." She started crying too.

"I'm sorry mom." She cried leaning into her mother.

"Me too sweetheart. But… but you'll always have Aunt Alison and Aunt Maureen. They… they would never let anything happen to you and your sister." She told her as her daughter leaned her head on Keely's shoulder.

"But they're not you mom. No one could ever be you." She hugged Keely as they allowed the photo album to fall to the floor. The picture it was on was of Mimi and Keely dancing and singing along to the radio on the beach.

* * *

"Mimi, I'm so sorry chica. I tried… I tried my hardest to hold out, but I guess I'll be seeing you again real soon after all." Keely spoke to a picture of her and Mimi that was on the nightstand next to hers and Roger's bed. Her PCP had gotten worse since her visit to the hospital and she found it difficult to move around, so she mainly stayed in bed. The doctor insisted that she continue to use the oxygen mask when she needed, but since she signed a DNR, there was nothing more they could do for her difficulty breathing. Sleeping on and off and coughing was all she did lately and she hated it. There was more she wanted to do with her husband and her daughters, but her disease prevented her from accomplishing any of it. Roger waited on her hand and foot and Angel helped. Randi on the other hand found it hard to be in the same room as her mother as of late. She spent most of her time either with her friends or Mark and Alison. She knew she was losing her mother and she accepted that, but she couldn't sit around and watch her die.

"Good, you're up. Come on." Roger said looking into the bedroom, hearing Keely's voice.

"Come on where?" she asked wheezing as he started helping her out of their bed.

"Get dressed." He was being very vague, which annoyed her at this point in time.

"Wait a minute. What are you talking about?" she asked looking up at him.

"Just get some clothes on. We're going out." He said looking over at her as he sat her up.

"Roger, I… I'm in no shape to go out." She argued before coughing. She struggled for her next breath before taking the oxygen mask to her face.

"You'll be fine. Just, put this on. If you need help, let me know. I'll let the girls know that you're up." He said kissed her head before he left the room. She was left staring at the closed bedroom door, confused. She struggled to change her clothes. Her frail body barely fit into any of her clothes anymore. She wore a baggy t-shirt and loose fitting sweatpants. "Are you ready to go?" he asked re entering the bedroom.

"Where… where are we going?" she asked as he reached down for her oxygen tank, before helping her up from the bed.

"Road trip." He smiled as they left the bedroom. Randi and Angel were sitting in the living room waiting for them. "Randi, get your mom's coat." Roger asked looking over at his eldest daughter.

"OK." She agreed quietly getting Keely's coat out of the closet by the door. "Here, dad." She said handing it to him.

"Roger, where are you taking us?" she asked looking up at him as he put her coat on her.

"Have you always been such a nosy, impatient woman?" he joked looking down at her.

"Have you always been so mysterious and annoying?" she laughed before starting to cough.

"Here." He handed her her oxygen mask to help her to catch her breath.

"Maybe we should stay home dad." Angel said quietly looking over at Roger.

"No, we'll.. we'll be OK. We need to get out of this apartment." He insisted looking over at her before looking down at Keely. "Are you OK now?" he asked as she nodded. They left the apartment and got into a rental car Roger had gotten earlier in the day. They all filed into the car and Roger began driving. They drove for what seemed like forever. Keely fell in and out of sleep more than once before they reached their destination.

"Keel, wake… wake up." He gently shook her awake.

"Where are we?" she asked attempting to adjust her vision to her surroundings. "Is this the beach house?" she asked looking up at the familiar structure. "How?"

"I… I called Joanne. I… I reminded her of that weekend all those years ago and how much it meant to us to all be together here." He explained looking over at her.

"Why are we here Roger?" she asked quietly as the girls slept in the back seat.

"Everyone is meeting us up here. Including Joanne. One last hurrah." He whispered taking the keys out of the ignition.

"Are you serious? Jo… Joanne is coming?" she asked as tears stung her eyes.

"She's here. I've… I've been talking to her over the years and… she wanted to see you." He stumbled over his words as someone came rushing out of the house.

"What about Maureen?" she asked.

"She's fine with it. Apparently they've been seeing each other on and off these last 15 years." He smiled as Joanne knocked on the window on Keely's side. Roger woke the girls up before getting out of the car. He rushed over to Joanne before opening Keely's door and helping her out.

"Keely, I missed you so much." She smiled reaching out to hug her small, frail friend.

"Thank you for letting us use the house Joanne." Roger smiled down at her as the girls got out of the car.

"Don't mention it Roger. I'm glad to do it." She smiled up at him.

"Dad, this place is cool. Is it ours?" Angel asked looking up at Roger.

"No. Randi, Angel, this is our friend Joanne. It's… it's her family's house." He said looking down at them.

"You used to date Aunt Maureen, right?" Randi asked looking over at her.

"Um… yeah. Yeah, wow. I haven't seen you girls since you were babies. That was… obviously a long time ago." She stuttered looking at the teenagers before her.

"Can we… can we go inside?" Keely said before beginning to cough.

"Right. Is, um… is anyone else here?" Roger asked helping Keely towards the house.

"Maureen is inside and the others are a half hour away." She confirmed watching Keely struggle to walk up to the house.

"You're here. Do you… do you need help?" Maureen asked rushing over to them.

"We… we got it. Thanks Maureen." Roger smiled looking over at her as he helped Keely to the couch.

"This place is awesome dad." Randi set her bags down next to the door as they entered the house.

"Yeah, we had an amazing weekend here many years ago." Keely smiled looking around.

"Yeah, beach football, bonfire's on the beach. It was an incredible weekend." Joanne smiled closing the door.

"It was when I realized I was in love with your mother. But I didn't tell her for a while." Roger smiled looking around the house.

"Why didn't you tell her that weekend daddy?" Angel asked looking over at him.

"I was scared to death. I… I wasn't really good with my feelings back then. Your mom scared me." He told her quietly.

"We were both afraid back then." Keely reached up to take Roger's hand looking up at her husband.

Everyone else arrived and they all sat around on the deck talking about old times and laughing. Keely was wrapped in a blanket as she lay in Roger's arms on a lounge chair. It was just before midnight when they all turned in. Roger and Keely stayed in the same bedroom they stayed in all those years earlier. Roger helped her get changed and ready for bed before climbing in next to her. "How do you feel Baby?" Roger asked looking over at Keely.

"Good. Thank you for bringing me here. I… I really missed this. Too bad Mimi can't be here." She whispered looking up at him.

"She is here. In spirit. She'll always be with us. Just like you'll always be with us." He said scooping her up into his arms as she lay on his chest.

"I love you Roger. I always have and I always will." She said looking up at him.

"I love you more than I could ever show you Baby. I just hope I was good enough for you." He said looking down at her.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me Roger." She whispered before falling asleep nestled in her husband's arms.

The next morning Roger woke up first. He looked over at Keely who was lying on her back, perfectly still. He reached over to caress her cheek, but she was cold. He placed his hand on her neck, but couldn't find a pulse. Tears rose to his eyes immediately. The horror of what was happening hit him. His beautiful wife had died peacefully in her sleep next to him. She lost her fight against AIDS. He leaned over to place a kiss on her head and whisper in her ear. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me too Keely. Thank you for everything." He cried before getting out of bed to deliver the news to their friends and family. Everyone filed into the bedroom to say goodbye to their beloved wife, friend, mother, aunt, sister and cousin.

_Keely Lynn Davis, one time dancer and lead singer of the rock band Alienated died peacefully in her sleep, her husband and family members at her side. Although she was HIV positive for 20 years, she lived a long and prosperous life. She is survived by her husband Roger Davis, her twin teenage daughters Randi and Angel Davis, her parents Martin and Lynn O'Reilly and a bevy of friends and family who were with her at a family retreat at the time of her death. She will be missed dearly by those who loved her. She was 42 years old._


End file.
